Hi to all, God Bless you. I hope I have the faith and courage you all do when the time comes. I have been lerking in the shadows for weeks now. Reading and hoping to see the magical answer to the question our 21 year old daughter threw at us last month. Our 3rd grandchild (second grandson)will be born in Septmenber. She has decided she doesn't want to raise him after he is born. She has had a tough life for a young adult. Cervical cancer was discovered the week before her 18th birthday. She has had several surgeries to remove the cancerous cells and has very little cervix left. They said sh'e never get pregnant (other female problems too) and if she did she'd never carry till term. She is determined to have a healthy baby boy, but doesn't feel she's ready to raise him and wants her father and I to take him immediately after he is born and raise as our son. A million warning lights flash in my head. 1) We are too old 43 and 44. 2) Our youngest child of 5 is 16 and very active in school and will go on to college in three years. We'll then have an empty nest and were looking forward to it. 3) Our oldest two are raising their children. 4) We like being grandparents. Can send the kids back when we get too tired. 5) What if she changes her mind after she grows up and wants him back? 6) I just got a wonderful new job last July. Don't know about raising a child and working full time. Adoption by a non-relative is out of the question. My youngest brother and SIL have not been able to conceve and are finally after 3 years getting their baby boy from Guatamola in August or September. My older brother and SIL had "help" conceiving and have two beautiful little girls. Our family is very close and I am unsure of what the opionion of others would be if daughter gave baby up. I haven't even begun to think of what my mother would say. I know I am rambling. I'm just so glad to have somewhere to bounce my fears and ideas off of. My husband is very supportive and will do what ever needs to done for the good of our grandson. P.S. Daughter just moved to Florida. We live in Michigan. Would love to hear from you all on how to prepare for this lifestyle change. Take Care.

Mercy, have you got a lot on your plate! I admire your cheerfulness & perseverence. I think people have a wrong impression about "mental illness"; they think someone who has a brain disorder acts crazy, when really they usually act like anyone else, & their symptoms often do not include "acting crazy". As you say, bi-polar people can be fractious, argumentative, & unreasonable....& that sounds like a lot of other people as well. I think I might work on that part of the problem first. If he can realize that your daughter really does have a disorder, that she's not just being difficult or using her problems as a crutch, he can calm down & develop more reasonable expectations of her. & I think you're going to *have* to inhale, exhale, take a step backwards, & look after yourself. No one person can solve everyone else's problems, & if you kill yourself from the stress of trying, those grandchildren never *will* get to know & enjoy their grandmother. As far as your hubs's mother rejecting him... That would hurt anyone. but if he can look at the situation from the perspective of his adult self, he'll realize that she couldn't have been a good mother to him then (that's the reason he was adopted), & she still can't be a mother to him. She just doesn't have it. I'd say if he was brought up to be a good person & a responsible adult, & if he's found some uncles who adore him, he's a lucky person indeed. Take care.

Well, my screen name is a dead giveaway now. I'm GiGi and my husband is Lebanese, so he's Gido ("g" pronounced like a "j"). Siti is the grandmother in Arabic, but my DMIL is Siti (good) so my first GDD called me GiGi and I love it! My precious grandmother (mom's mom) was Mimi, so in my mind, that name was taken...and never to be so again. I really like what they call me!

Each state will have their own laws for golf carts. In our previous state, anyone with a DL can drive one on a two lane public road as long as it is not delaying traffic. If so, they are to pull over and let cars pass. HOAs usually have additoinal rules for their use inside the neighborhoods. Honestly, I never saw them outside of a gated community. In Florida, I can tell you many of the locals despise tourist on SLV (street legal vehicles), which is what they are required to be - state plates, seat belts, headlights, tailightts, three mirrors, blinkers, horn, etc. Small children are to be in car seats, but I often see a toursit on a rental holding a small child in their lap. This is dangerous and they can be ticketed. Anyone with a DL can drive, but since March I have read about two overturning due to teenagers driving too fast. Our two lane highway has a very low speed limit, but the SLVs are all set to not go over X mph, which is less than the speed limit, so some people don't like being behind one. Many of the communities have banned them completely, or only owners can have/use, so people on vacation cannot rent or use one the homeowner allows them to use (which I cannot imagine one would do). But the dumest thing I have seen was a teenager sitting in a kayak that was tied to the roof of a SUV. This wsa in our neighborhood, and they could have been going to their rental from the public boat launch not far away, so not on main highway, but still. How stupid was he, and the driver too.