Loud snoring is more than just annoying, but it can lead to serious health issues too.

Get him to a sleep center ASAP. DH and I got separate rooms years ago because of his snoring and our out-of-sync schedules, but then when we were on a cruise, we shared a room. As soon as I got him home, I got him to a sleep center where his apnea was so bad that his O2 levels dropped to 89% and his breathing stopped many, many times an hour. Early this year, he was in the ICU and nurses complained that his O2 levels dropped so much that he was setting off their alarms. He has been on a cpap machine for years now and he sleeps much more soundly and quietly. Not to mention that apnea can lead to issues with blood pressure, daytime drowsiness, heart disease, and stroke. Interestingly, DH suffered with GERD too, but since on the CPAP, he's been able to drop that med too.

In the meantime, see if you can elevate his upper body with a bolster or something as that may make the snoring less. Also, get yourself some ear plugs. They might help a tad. Otherwise, treat yourself to a hotel room once in awhile so you can catch up on some sleep. Or at least see if you can buy/borrow an air mattress...distance does help with the noise.

My husband is an intermittent snorer (he's been to a sleep lab and doesn't have apnea, but I second Annie's suggestion of having your husband get tested). On the nights when he's fairly loud I use earplugs, and also give him a small shove so he rolls onto his side. That greatly reduces and often eliminates his snoring, and the earplugs really help.

Then there's the usual suggestion of putting a tennis ball into a sewn-in pocket on the back of whatever shirt he sleeps in so the snorer can't sleep on his back.

Have you tried a white noise sound machine? I use it every night and sleep like a baby. I do not hear anything once I am asleep. Someone could break in and take everything and I would not even know it.

Not sure if that would help you, but just a suggestion.

I have this one and is fantastic. It is not on a loop... which makes a big difference.

Sound Machine

Agree that dramatic snoring should be investigated. My oldest son snored like crazy especially as he reached adulthood. Finally around age 25 he had a sleep study done and was found to have pretty bad apnea. He has a cpap machine now.

DH was a terrific snorer, too. Eventually he was diagnosed with significant nasal polyps. Long story and two sinus surgeries later, he rarely snores. But when he does snore, I just nudge (or kick, as needed) him until he stops or rolls over.

running -I'm planning to order one of those headband earphones things they sell on A*. When I was reading through reviews this morning, one woman mentioned that she uses hers to listen to waterfall sounds, etc. to block out snoring noises, and it made me think of your post. For $20, it might be worth a shot.

Big fan (no pun intended) of this and other types of "fan" noise machines. Ditto on addressing medical issues related to the snoring. I hope you are enjoying other aspects of your couples retreat :).

Marpac

Ear plugs, white noise machine, sinus surgery and now he has a CPAP for sleep apnea. Snoring can be an indicator of an underlying health problem, so I would suggest your DH go to his PCP for an exam. Good luck-I know it is frustrating!

Ask my husband. I'm told I snore when I sleep on my back and let my hand rest on my chest. DH will move my hand and that usually does the trick. Dairy makes it worse for me.

My house used to shake at night from the snoring of DH and DS. We all gave up grains and sugar, and now, I have to check for cars in the driveway to know if they are still here!!

My husband snored like a freight train. He had sleep apnea but didn't want to use a CPAP machine. He died in his sleep 10 years ago. Please have your husband checked for it!

I'm not sure there is an easy solution.

DH snored. I'd nudge him and he'd stop for a while. Sometimes I'd put a pillow over my ears or turn on the TV for a while. I did try earphones but they became dislodged. It stopped when he retired, lost weight and had heart surgery.

Then I started to snore about 5 years ago. It became so disruptive that DH often took a nap in the afternoon. He urged me to get a sleep study where I discovered I had severe sleep apnea. I've been on CPAP for two years and DH is sleeps better and is much happier.

My son snores so loudly that he sleeps in the guest room on the first floor while the rest of the family sleep upstairs. He's scheduled to see the pulmonologist next week.

As suggested, I would have him see his dr. about the snoring. Some people are just snore though, with no health issues. Some women snore too LOL. @jojoco my husband will snore if he is on his back. I just nudge him and tell him to turn over. A young couple we are close to, SHE snores and he bought ear-plugs. @Springroz that is interesting! Good for your health and good that you solved the snoring issue. @Kitchenwitch111 I am so sorry about your husband.

We bought an adjustable bed a couple of years ago. We sleep with the head slightly elevated. I love it. When my allergies are bothering me, I sometimes elevate it more. Maybe elevating would help with the snoring? Good luck! I hope you find a solution.

(( Kitchenwitch))

Like Tina, we have friends with an adjustable bed. If he starts snoring, she raises his side up until he stops. It makes me laugh thinking about her angrily pressing those buttons after being rudely woken up.

I am the snorer in our marriage! It is intermittent, usually related to allergies and post-nasal drip. My husband wears earplugs, and it helps him tremendously. The soft, reuseable kind, the brand is 3M, on Amazon.

My DH snores intermittently also. If I was in another room, he would probably be worse. I stay up and read and I nudge him and tell him to sleep on his side, and he does. But, once I fall asleep, if he snores I never know it.

I give him a jab or tell him to turn on his side because he's snoring. We've talked about a sleep study/sleep apnea/cpap machine - the two of us and with his healthcare providers. Extremely unlikely he'd use it so no sleep study - yet.

Both DH and I are intermittent light snorers and sleeping position does not seem to be the basis since we are side sleepers for the most part. On rare occasions he is the freight train variety snorer but thankfully not often. He's always had seasonal allergies that aggravated snoring but since we moved to NC both of us seem to have almost constant slight congestion (and the resulting PND) that contributes to snoring. Nudges (the occasional shove!) from one to the other seems to interrupt the pattern so the bothered one can sleep. Along with snoring apparently I also occasionally make what DH calls small animal noises - squeaks and whistles and murmurs - who knew!

runninginplace the type of snoring you talk about warrants a closer look with his doctor.

Earplugs for sure - and I also put a pillow over my head. Hubby and I sleep separately too, as his random snoring isn't the only thing that disturbs my sleep - every time he moved positions it woke me up, and I'd have a hard time getting back to sleep 🙁

It's better for him too, since the only way I could halt his snoring, if only for a little while, was to smack him 😄

DH used to be a freight train. He always, always goes to sleep on his back. Snoring was a given. I tried to suggest the sleep study/CPAP route, but he resisted. I spent about a year in the spare room, until we started fixing the house to sell and i tore up the spare room.

Fast forward to now, he still snores sometimes. It greatly reduced when he retired and left the stress behind. I attribute it to that, nothing else changed much.

I was going to suggest the Dohm white noise machine that rubyclaire linked. I have one in every bedroom in the house.

Also, I discovered that the foam-gel mattress DH and I bought transferred much less movement than a regular mattress. His tossing and turning no longer bothered me after we bought it. Then we got the split-King adjustable bed and that was even better - no movement transfer at all.

Sleeping with a Snorer-How do you do it?!

You can't! Not even ear plugs work.

To rule out other causes ...you might want to let his doctor know. This isn't something men often bring up during their physicals. They don't talk about snoring because they think it trivial.

My husband was born with a heart defect and we never knew until older age set in. It doesn't have to be a defect though, could be many things. After his heart surgery it stopped, not completely, there is occasional softer snoring but nothing close to what it was. I'm sure if the neighbors listened closely he could be heard at their house. At the time husbands innerworkings were clotting and wearing out I was also in menopause. I got some lunesta from the doctor and I accredit that for nearly saving my life. I was so sleep deprived then I could barely function at all.

One thing that a lot of people don't expect is that alcohol consumption can contribute greatly to snoring. After I tried earplugs et cetera, we moved to separate bedrooms, I could still hear him! Yikes. He finally quit drinking and not a peep can be heard. He still sleeps on his back, but that wasn't the issue apparently. I still sleep in my own bed (with the dog-ha).

Kitchenwitch-I am so sorry!

Kitchenwitch, I'm so very sorry.

Kitchenwitch, I'm so sorry for your loss!

Thank you and everyone else who shared your stories, suggestions and maybe most of all your commiseration/validation that I'm not crazy, weak willed or otherwise blowing this out of proportion.

It's loud enough that wearing ear plugs and a pillow jammed over my head doesn't help at all--have been doing that consistently. He sleeps with several pillows so his head is elevated but it doesn't seem to help. He will turn over if I nudge him and the silence is golden immediately. But often if he wakes up at night he has a very hard time returning to sleep so I've been reluctant to do that too often, and of course if I nudge or tell him to move every time he snores....that will literally be all night long every few minutes.

I'm not sure if he will be willing to have this checked medically but I"m going to try my best. As you pointed out something doesn't seem to be right. He doesn't drink alcohol, isn't overweight and I don't hear any breathing 'stops' at night but of course I"m not a doctor. As I mentioned this is also immeasurably worse and louder than it was 10-15 years or so ago which is when we last shared a bed.

At this point I'm alternating between a night when I get almost no sleep and then a night when I get some exhausted sleep, followed by no sleep, rinse and repeat. I tried CBD oil just before bed since several people said it helps with sleep but that hasn't worked. I also have Ambien which is the only thing that has at least allowed me to fall asleep for awhile, but I certainly don't want to take that every night for months (yikes).

It's a shame because other than the sleeping issue we are actually doing just fine in our cozy little nest. It's been surprisingly easy....except for bedtime!

My husband had the same issue, could hear him over the tv, across the house, with doors closed. Mentioned to him that maybe he had sleep apnea, his mother has it. He was annoyed that I would think that was the case and did not want to talk to the doctor as he was sleeping fine. Nice that someone was sleeping. Finally convinced him to consult doctor about the snoring, not bringing up sleep apnea at all, as I was tired of very little sleep and would need to move to another room if this did not get better. Yes, he had sleep apnea. Thankfully he took the information to heart and uses the equipment, we both sleep much better. Now if I could just get him to consider a hearing test.

Kitchenwitch, I'm very sorry about your husband.

Kitchen... I am so very sorry for your loss.

My GF's husband snores a lot. He gives up drinking for Lent every year and she says his snoring is much reduced during Lent.

I agree alcohol can certainly be a factor. Hubby's snoring is much less frequent and less intense since he stopped drinking. Now it mainly happens when he overeats close to bedtime.

Please accept my condolences as well, Kitchenwitch.

For my DH, it was clear he had sleep apnea. I had never heard if it, but did a little research after being kept awake. Earlier, I would hope to fall asleep before he was sleeping deeply enough to start snoring and nudge him or turn over with a bit of an intentional bounce -- and if that didn't work, I occasionally had to wake him and ask him to turn. As those things became more difficult or less effective, I was awake to hear him stop breathing -- usually just long enough for me to be about to nudge him. And then again about the time I was about to fall asleep again. After being awake nearly all night wondering if I was going to have to start CPR or if he would be alive when I woke up, I told him he had to go see a doctor. He's had a CPAP ever since. It's not a perfect solution, but we both sleep better and life is possible.

Kitchenwitch - I am so sorry, yet I have to thank you for sharing. Maybe it will encourage others to speak to their physician.

Other than snoring I didn't have many of the other common symptoms - DH said he never heard the 'stops and gasps' during the night. I didn't fall asleep during the day but I might get drowsy while watching TV after dinner. I attributed that to my age and the fact that I usually get up around 5:30/6 am. When I saw my physician he asked me a series of questions about various symptoms and I only scored a 2 (possiby 3) on a scale of 1 to 10. Some of the questions were shocking - do you fall asleep during the day? do you fall asleep if you're a passenger in a car or riding on the bus? dry mouth? morning headache? insomnia? irritability? lack of concentration? and my favorite - falling asleep at a traffic light! I don't drink, I've never smoked, no heart disease, no diabetes but I am overweight and there is a family history.

I did my sleep study at the hospital and was shocked when the report came back - I averaged 60 episodes an hour. However my oxygen saturation levels weren't too bad. Apparently the respiratory center in my brain quickly sensed the drop and I'd start breathing again.

I hope your DH will speak to his physician. My son has been ignoring it for years and I think it has contributed to his weight gain, GI symptoms and lack of energy. He now has 2 little girls and my DDIL finally called the sleep center and made the appt for a consultation.

Maire

Kitchenwitch, I'm so sorry that you had to suffer such a horrible experience. Sending you thoughts of comfort and solace.

IIRC, when I first got married, it took me 6 mos before I was able to sleep through the night with DH's snoring, so I doubt you'll learn to live with it during your remodel....

Very sorry to read about your dh Kitchenwitch.

Earplugs for me and cpap for my snorer. He was stopping breathing 103 times an hour. By the time he was dx he was unable to drive because of falling asleep.

Kitchenwitch, I’m so sorry about your husband. He was not alone - most people with cpap machines refuse to use them. I feel lucky my husband is religious with his.

Kitchenwitch, I am so sorry! and so grateful that you related that to us! My DH snores such that I can hear it downstairs, and when I come to bed I hear him start and stop, make odd sound effects, and so on. I had no idea it could be something more than annoying. He won’t want to hear it, but I will suggest we address the issue. ((( thank you! )))

bpath - my DDIL taped my son one night and he was shocked when she played it the following day. He still tried to ignore it until my DH and my DDIL double-teamed him.

When my husband would snore really bad, I’d just quietly ask him to turn over, he’d turn over in his sleep and I’d doze off again. Eventually, it became a comforting sound to me and then when the dog started snoring, they’d snore in sync and that still makes me smile.

I'm so used to DH's snoring that I sleep right through it. When I'm awake and can hear him snoring he doesn't stop breathing. However two of his sisters have/had dangerously bad sleep apnea so I've recently suggested he gets it checked. If there's a way to manage it it's a good idea. You might save your own life.

I do snore as well but he says he doesn't hear it. I did this morning. It woke me up. I will be keeping an ear on it.

Unfortunately migraines make it harder to breathe etc in my case due to swelling and inflammation around my neck.

DH always was a big time snorer. I remember one time on a short flight as he dozed off and got into a rhythm, a passenger in the row ahead of us turned around in disbelief!

Anyway, he didn't snore every single night or at least it didn't disturb me every single night but it was crazy loud. I go to sleep before him, so I could fall asleep fine, but often if I woke in the middle of the night, and he was snoring, I couldn't get back to sleep.

He does have lots of medical issues, and in the course of some medical visits sleep apnea was discussed. To my observation, he never did the stop breathing thing. Anyway, he went for a sleep study and he has severe apnea. In fact, he was tested twice because they were not able to get a good enough sleep interval. Fwiw, alcohol was /is not an issue. Weight and other factors for sure are.

So he has been using a cpap for probably 15 years now. The machine is silent. When it occasionally shifts and it makes noise, I nudge him and say "fix your mask". It really has helped.

Now I do snore, and he occasionally uses ear plugs.

He notices the difference with the CPAP so much that when we travel, it comes along.

Definitely get the sleep study

DH always travels with his cpap...and an extension cord in case the outlet isn't near the bed...

Salonva- I had to chuckle about your DH snoring on the plane. My other son (the non-snoring one) and I went to Europe before I was diagnosed and I made him promise to nudge me if I started snoring. But on the return trip we didn't seat together and I was so worried I asked the flight attendant to keep an eye on me.

My snorers,

lots of whistles and gentle rumblings. Soothing.