Thanks guys :) really appreciate the good thoughts. Actually Maggie, I'm in radio, and we do talk about it a little on the air, the guy I do the morning show with is a big animal lover, so we do a lot of dog and cat stories etc..What I really want to do is get with my primary vet, I haven't really talked to him since the initial rupture...I know that he is inclined to reccomend euthanasia for these type cancers :( as they are so aggressive. I just want to show him Bob, and offer my number to anyone contemplating what direction they want to go in. I have no regrets on what we did with Bob. He really suffered no ill effects to speak of from the treatment...His quality of life is excellent at the moment...I am also thinking about starting up a message board for this type of thing. I joined a cancer group on yahoo, but they were sooooo restrictive, and moderated everything, drove me nuts. Anyway I may have to look into that. Thanks again for all the well wishes, I can't tell you how grateful I am that he is doing so well, everyday when we go for our walks in the pasture, I see him galloping ahead of me:) I raise my head and say a little thank you :).

I did a poor job of being clear, so will try one last time. What propelled my thoughts, and prompted my post, was the timing of these incidents coinciding with my young niece's struggle with grasping what boundaries are OK and what aren't. (She just turned 12, quotes are her words.) She hasn't ever been permitted to be exposed to just anything, as much as her parents can control anyway. But at her age kids hear, see, share & talk about things, especially on the heels of a wedding that's created a tremendous buzz. What matters is she's confused about behavior & boundaries, photos & boundaries, attention (good or bad) and boundaries. She knows it wasn't OK for her friend to send a pic text to a boy as a joke while wearing cami-top underwear & a neon wig at a birthday sleepover. A joke her friend did in a moment of 1 a.m. slumber party giddiness just after snapping pics of the family dog wearing his shaving cream beard. Sadly, my niece learned at a young age it's not OK for a grown man to collect photos of (at the time) 7-9 yr old children in group settings and then call them or stalk their public events. All she knows is he was a "creeper" who went to jail. She recently saw a "famous wedding". And she doesn't quite get why the important maid of honor Pippa Long Stockings (what they call her due to her unusual name) "got more famous on the internet" for things that would bring either punishment or bad ("creeper") attention in my niece's world. And there was her "She knows about creepers, right?" comment. :/ She just simply doesn't understand where the boundaries of OK behavior start/stop. And frankly I don't either. Because it just keeps coming down the pike in droves. From the 6th grader doing it for 'approval' or whatever motivates them to the sister of the future queen, it's everywhere. And it would be nice to see the trend sway from a little less raunchy toward a little more self-dignity. Hopefully it's a little clearer now where I was coming from. And if my thoughts and viewpoint result in me being viewed as a prude, not fully enlightened or unworldly, I have zero problem with that.

You were VERY brave to do a time management study. As you discovered, there arent enough hours in a week. I made a list of things in my life that donÂt change. These total 137 hours: 56 hours sleeping 3.5 hours shower/hair/makeup/dress (30 minutes a day, to the minute) 50 hours at the office 7.5 hours commuting 4 hours at church 2 hours exercising 4 hours volunteer meetings (this is the minimum) 10 hours email (friends & family, volunteer projects) This leaves me 31 hours a week for everything else (which is why I donÂt like looking at time management by the hour). April-May will be the worstÂlast year I spent 17 hours a week at high school track meets! I donÂt watch much TV but I spend a lot of that "extra" time with my family. My house isnÂt as clean as it should be but the basics are done. My closest friends are involved with the same volunteer groups that I belong to and since theyÂre just as busy as I am, we call that our weekly "social" time. Email is often better than phone callsÂno getting sidetracked on long phone conversations. You spend more time on housework and cooking than I do, but perhaps youÂre better at both? I probably did 10 loads of laundry this week but if you asked me how much "time" I spent on laundry I would have guessed 10 minutesÂbut thatÂs obviously not true since it's all folded and put away! HereÂs how to fit MORE in your life: 1. Put it on your calendar. That really is the secret for me. If youÂre already a list-maker, you just need to schedule a specific day/time on your calendar. For example, my exercise time is definite. ItÂs on the calendar same day/time every week, no exceptions, everyone knows it. ItÂs just like blocking off the 4 hours for church and the Tues/Wed nights for meetings. 2. Make choices. I might enjoy more TV, but it would be at the expense of something else. I'm not ready to give up the "something else" at this time. You spent twice as much time as me in the shower... are you cleaner? LOL 3. Combine activities. As I cook, I clean the kitchen (while doing laundry). When I get out of the shower, I clean the bathroom. When I hang up my coat, I straighten the closet. I have to admit that a lot of my "house cleaning" is done while doing something else, so it would be hard to separate the minutes/hours. 4. Beware of "time saving services" that don't fit your personality. I would rather wash and iron 5 shirts on my own time than have to remember to drop them off and find time to fight traffic and pick them up later. I tried Once A Week Cooking once and HATED it--I gave up half a Sunday to cook (which I hate anyway) and a week later we were out of meals again--and I still had to spend time in the kitchen each night heating them up! It would have been far easier to have just cooked double meals each night and, for example, put half the spaghetti sauce in the freezer for later. Funny storyÂYES I DID get down on my belly and play legos on the floor with the kids and I would do it all over again I did NOT have kids to send them off to the other room to play! We built lego creations and zoomed matchbox cars and built forts out of blankets on rainy days and made snakes out of playdoh and had tea parties and danced around the house and hammered things out of wood & nails and colored with crayons and used lots of glue & glitter and played sports (who better than ever-patient mama to stand in the hockey net while he learns to lift a puck over a goalieÂs shoulder?) and took bike rides and hiked through the secret passages in the woods and made snowmen and went to museums & the zoo AND learned to play alone AND learned to play with other children AND learned to cook and clean, too (which impressed my oldest son's college roommates--plus he was the only one who could put up a tent in the dark LOL). DS-15 and I spent 3 of my 31 "extra" weekly hours yesterday reading a book out loud and discussing it (don't tell his friends--he would be embarrassed if they knew!) because even though he COULD read alone, we still enjoy reading together. We'll read more tonight when his homework is finished. In a couple years he'll be away at college and I can use my "extra" hours on a different activity--like organizing the camping equipment that seems to be bursting out of the storage area... it's a low priority and never gets to the top of the to-do list.

Hi all, I'm new. I just want to say that many of the issues you mention really aren't YOUR issues. Things like her fraudulant lawsuits for example. I have an ex who's always frauding someone...but it's not my problem. The system will catch up and when it does, they'll have to pay somehow. You need to focus on dealing with the children when they're in your care, and disregard what they do in her care, unless they're in danger. You seem to have stopped the spanking but maybe you should make their Dad handle all the discipline. You could even try a "wait until your father gets home" stance when they are in your care and your husband is away. Once you stop engaging with them, they will stop engaging with you. You've only been married two years, so you have a long road ahead. Your nit-picky issues are just that, little nit-picky issues. I'd blow them off and laugh it off as a jealous bio-mom...those do exists sometimes. You know YOU and those around you know YOU...don't waste your time focusing on what she says or does. Keep documenting everything and always anticipate the worst, but hope for the best. If the relationship with the girls is broken, I'd really try mending it. If you're interested in some ways, let me know, maybe we can get creative. If you plan to stay married, you really need to get along with his kids, they don't go away after they turn 18, only the CS.