I recently was in a similar situation. We sent a check for $1O0.

My go-to is a $100 gift card at BB&B.

I don’t base amount of wedding gifts on whether or not I will attend. I base it on the relationship with the person getting married. For the wedding of the child of a dear friend I would actually get something special/meaningful that I know they would like and would think of us when they use it, but if I knew a check would be the best gift, I’d do $200.

I would do $250. When I first started attending wedding for friends in the mid to late 80s, I always gave $100. With inflation, that number is $250 today. Hope that helps.

PS You could also look at what was purchased on the registry, and take an average (imprecise given that people might buy something and give cash or buy multiple items etc., but a start?)

In this situation since they are old friends I agree with nini and mtn. My best friend's son married in the Virgin Islands two years ago and I sent them $250.

Mtn, just curious. I have never been in a situation where wedding gifts are opened in front of a crowd.

The couple opens up envelopes? And then? I can’t picture this scenario.

It has been a tradition with our friends to host a day after the wedding lunch with gift opening. Just family, bridal party and perhaps a few very close friends attend. Not sure where this gathering originated, but it has been a fun tradition. In my experience, no one has ever said anything negative about any gift, we also have never disclosed the dollar amount of a check or cash gifts. Some couples have read the cards, other couples have opened the card gifts privately. We plan to host a gift opening lunch after my daughters wedding celebration party next April.

I agree about the amount. No amount is wrong. Think about what you might get for them as a gift and how much that would cost and write a check for the equivalent amount. At our wedding we got checks and gift cards from folks ranging from $25-250.00 and there was absolutely no issue with us not being grateful and sending thank you notes, etc. as to the amount. Smaller amounts naturally came from more distant friends. It's all good. Even nothing, just a card is OK.

If their registry is from a specific store perhaps a gift card from there with an amt that would get them something nice/useful.

IIRC with my siblings' weddings, my parents took any gifts and the card box home with them. The next day we had brunch with just immediate family at our parents' home, and the couple opened gifts. That also happened when my nephew married.

More broadly, as i said, I have never heard any disparage a gift. And I think for most people, that is genuine. So whatever one feels is right ...is right.

I realize you specifically asked about how much to give. An amount one can afford will be different, a gift should be appreciated no matter what.

Recently sent $250 as well, though I would always prefer to send a meaningful gift.

If I don't attend the wedding, $100-$150. If I attend the wedding, I add another $50-$100. This excludes destination weddings, which are another consideration entirely.

I agree with others, though, that whatever you believe is appropriate will certainly be appreciated.

Most couples I knew who received money as a gift were thrilled. Those who are wealthy may not be that thrilled, so a thoughtful gift would be ideal.

Don't feel obliged to give the couple more money because of the parents friendship with you. Many people cannot afford $250 for a cash wedding gift in these times. $100 is a nice amount providing you can afford it. Don't feel pressured.

DS told me when he and his new wife were driving to their honeymoon destination in Colorado, my new DIL took the cards from the cardbox at the reception. While he drove she opened and read each card to him. Of course she declared the amount of money in each one. lol. I'm pro money to new couples who are just starting out.