Narcissists aren't just "difficult"; they're abusive, & they're brutal, & if you don't reflect glory on them & keep yourself in the background, they'll become enraged & annihilate you like you're an alien invador. "the very person you expect to trust and protect you wants to damage you so they can be "better" then you." My mother would brutally sabotage me in secret so she could "rescue" me- always in a very public way where my aunts, teachers, & others would praise her for being such a good mother! We learn sick coping mechanisms when we live with narcissists, especially if they're powerful figures in our lives from the time we're babies- & everybody, every small critter in the world, expects to be protected when he/she calls for "mama". When your mama hates you for 1) outgrowing the baby stage when you earned her a lot of attention ("oh, there you are with your brand-new baby") & 2) garnering some positive attention for your own self ("oh, Sylvia can speak in whole sentences"), & the only way you can survive is to be submissive, give her credit for everything you achieve, & be constantly alert to her changing moods & deflect her rage onto something else... you grow up with deformed "coping behaviors" that make you vulnerable to being used, being victimized, & having stress-related health problems. & bunny's right, they'll be the center of attention or they'll burn the house down. My mother's version of burning the house down was to destroy my father, to nearly destroy me, & to drive lifelong wedges between me & my brothers. She once told her sister, with satisfaction, that "those boys are going to keep on until they run Sylvia off". & they did. My mother died a couple of years ago, & I never confronted her; when she was in her right mind, I was terrified of her, & by the time I realized how thoroughly she had abused & terrified me & how much damage she had done, she couldn't recognize me. & even then, the last time I saw her, when she was tied into her wheelchair & couldn't have "gotten" me, I didn't sleep that night.

Why thank you everyone :o) For those of you who are trying to push me ahead in the line, I am 24 NOT 25! Don't rush me... I know I'm over the hill already :o) I almost wish I could just fast forward to 97 (minus all the health problems) because I act (and drive) like an old lady anyway. I feel a little behind being 24 and not having graduated college yet. I cononsole myself with the fact that some people don't even go to college and that age happens to everyone! I am actually WORKING on my birthday (I usually do). After I get off tonight, my vegetarian boy toy is going to come up and spend the night with me. He wants to make me a cake and it had better not be out of TOFU. I'll scream! My gal pal Sheila surprised me at work today and brought me a gift bag of trinkets, chocolates, cards from all four nieces. And some new flatware... I'd been complaining for months that my dishwasher is ruining the cheap flatware that was given to me when I first got my apartment. I was going to buy some, but I HATE shopping for anything that you can't eat or plug in and turn on! Sheila picked out a simple design that is perfect for me. What a nice surprise. Later in the week when we both have off, she wants to take me to Moon Fish to have dinner. Just have to set the date. What a special girl! My ex got me a rear wheel bearing for my car (which he will also install). How romantic, any clue why we're exes??? :o) Thanks again everyone!

Thanks again guys... I took the Bernina in and they made and adjustment right on the spot and even gave me a free pack of needles and it worked fine there... of course the minute I try to use it at home, well... we'll see what happens. The lady told me not to threaten it or use bad words because the machine will misbehave even worse! I'll try to be good... I ended up not having to work the second job last night... another guy showed up because he misread the schedule and since he doesn't have a car and I do and only live 15 minutes away, I let him stay and I traded days with him :o) Lars, I know enough to know that Mr. Foxworthy's first name is Jeff and not John :-p Nice try though.... maybe you were on coffee break when you had your redneck training session... I bet you also missed the lesson on how to spit tobacco into an empty beer can and how to keep your double wide on the ground during a hurricane as well :o) Partymusic, I'm sorry nobody has done anything for you in the last 7 years... sometimes I wish we here on the CF could start our own neighborhood or compound or something so we could all be together and enjoy and celebrate and all that happy stuff :o) Ellen, I'm going for LPN... some hospitals aren't hiring them anymore, but it's a stepping stone to get to RN. The RN classes here are hard to get into and have long waiting lists and one is more readily accepted if they are already and LPN and do a bridge program... I have to take an admission test in January and I've already purchases a huge thick study guide so I can brush up on all the stuff I forgot since high school... at least there are things called Youtube tutorials now :o)

Here are some more vegetarian recipes that I compiled some years ago. I didn't compare the ingredients with your dislikes Bobby but you may want to have a look at these: RECIPE: Vegetarian Recipes from Spain Posted by Canarybird (My Page) on Mon, Oct 4, 04 at 8:01 Garlic Soup (Sopa de Ajo) ------------------------------- A garlic soup recipe from the Island of Mallorca. Ingredients: 9 oz (250 grams approx) *shaved dry brown bread 6 garlic cloves 6 fine stalks spring onions 1 small cabbage 2 medium size ripe tomatoes fresh Italian parsley 1/2 cup good quality olive oil 1 teaspoon red sweet pimento powder (paprika) salt water * Note: this refers to a type of local bread often used in soups (sopas) as a way of using up stale bread. It's a round, flat and heavy tan-coloured dense country bread loaf which is sliced crosswise paper thin, the cut pieces having a half-moon shape and being as thin as a slice of salami. (An electric meat slicer does the job well if you can find a heavy loaf of brown country bread.) Method: Heat the oil in an open, shallow casserole dish and add the peeled garlic cloves; remove them when browned and set aside. Add the finely chopped spring onions to the oil and when lightly golden add the finely chopped cabbage. Stir fry together then add the pimiento powder and enough water to cover all. Mash the browned garlic cloves in a mortar and pestle, add a little water to dilute the paste then add to the casserole. Season with salt and cook until tender at a low heat on the stove top. Then add the bread slices, scooping up the cabbage mixture and piling it on top of the bread to sink it down. Let return to a boil and remove from the stove. This soup is usually brought to the table and served out of the same casserole. I don't have a photo of the finished product but I do have my Mallorquin clay casserole which is what is normally used. (photo of dish with another recipe in it) I brought mine from Mallorca 20 years ago and whatever comes out of it tastes wonderful. It works equally well in the oven or on an open gas flame. Baked Lettuce & Cheese (Lechuga al Queso) ----------------------------------------------------- For 2 persons: 2 heads of lettuce 4 TBS butter 4 TBSP grated cheese salt, white pepper and water 1) Remove damaged outer leaves from lettuce, wash and put in saucepan in boiling salted water. Cook 10 minutes. 2) Remove from pan and rinse under cold water. Drain. 3) Cut each lettuce in two lengthwise, fold the pieces in half and place them in a buttered baking dish. Sprinkle with pepper and cheese and dot with the rest of the butter. 4) Put the dish in the oven for about 5 minutes and serve the dish at the table. Source: 'Cocina Balear' - Ana Maria Calera Spanish Poor Man's Style Potato Casserole -( Patatas a Lo Pobre) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Serves 5 as a side dish: 2 lbs potatoes 1 onion 1 small green pepper 1 small tomato, sliced 1/3 cup olive oil 2 cloves garlic, chopped 2 TBSP chopped parsley 1 bay leaf 1/4 teasp thyme 1/4 teasp sweet paprika (or saffron) 1/4 cup white wine 1/4 cup water salt & pepper 1) Peel potatoes and slice fairly thinly. Peel and slice onions. Cut peppers in strips. 2) Pour a little of the oil into the bottom of a flame-proof earthenware casserole or oven-safe pan. Arrange alternating layers of potatoes, onions, green peppers and tomato slices, sprinkling each layer with some of the chopped garlic and parsley. 3) Break the bay leaf into pieces and tuck them among the potatoes with the thyme. Sprinkle with the paprika and pour over the remaining oil. 4) Place the casserole on a medium heat just until potatoes start to sizzle. Add the wine and water. Season with salt & pepper. 5) When the liquid comes to a boil, cover the casserole and put in a medium oven (350F/180C) until potatoes are tender, about 45 minutes. Let the casserole rest 10 minutes before serving. Adapted from: 'Tapas and More Great Dishes from Spain' - Janet Mendel Fresh Garden Peas with Lettuce -------------------------------------- 1 large onion, sliced 1 young lettuce, broken into largish pieces 1/2 lb fresh peas butter sugar - about 1 TBSP salt & pepper 1) Sauté a large sliced onion in a little butter, then transfer to a large saucepan, add lettuce and shelled peas. 2) Add a little more butter, salt & pepper to taste and the sugar. Mix well and add a little water. Bring to the boil and then simmer very slowly with lid on, until peas are tender, about seven minutes. Source: 'The Bar we Found' - Anne Oates - Palma de Mallorca 1972 Danish Style Cauliflower and Cheese Sauce ---------------------------------------------------- 1 large white cauliflower 1 TBSP butter 1 TBSP flour 2 cups milk 2 egg yolks 1 cup grated cheese sugar, salt breadcrumbs 1) Boil the cauliflower until nearly tender. Drain and place in a baking dish. 2) Make a white sauce with the butter, flour and milk. Stir in the egg yolks and then the grated cheese. Season with sugar and salt. 3) Separate the cauliflower into pieces and pour over the sauce. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs, dabs of butter and place in hot oven. Bake until golden brown and serve. Source: 'The Bar we Found' - Anne Oates - Palma de Mallorca 1972 Curried Potato Salad ------------------------- 6 large potatoes 1 cup tart French dressing 4 hard boiled eggs chopped onion chopped celery chopped green pepper salt heaping TBSP curry powder 1) Boil potatoes in their jackets. When cool enough to handle, remove skins and slice potatoes into large bowl. 2) While still warm, coat slices with French dressing which has been mixed with the curry powder, and leave to penetrate while the potatoes are cooling down. Then add other ingredients and mix them in lightly taking care not to disturb the shape of the potatoes. 4) Crisp in the refrigerator before serving. Source: 'The Bar we Found' - Anne Oates - Palma de Mallorca 1972 ********************** I was never sure if this really originated in Cuba. But it's a very simple dish which I used to see in Mallorca in small family restaurants and still see today on restaurant menus. I also made it when my girls were small. For three people: 3 ripe bananas 3 eggs rice - three servings tomato sauce or puré - about 1 cup S & P oil or butter 1) Boil the rice until tender in salted water. Drain. 2) Split the bananas lengthwise and sauté gently in butter or oil. 3) Heat the tomato sauce. 4) Fry the eggs in butter or oil keeping yolks runny. 5) Arrange the rice in the centre of each plate, with a banana half on each side, cover the rice with an egg and pour sauce over top. Add salt & pepper. Poached eggs instead of fried are also good. ************************ This is one of those 'survival'-type dishes - it is now served in some of the top restaurants of the Balearic Islands. It's so easy to make as well. Vegetable & Bread Stew from Mallorca - This is a much loved hearty meatless peasant dish from the Balearic island of Mallorca. Although called 'sopas' or soup, it is actually a stew-like combination of available winter vegetables such as chard, cabbage and cauliflower cooked in water, oil, garlic, paprika and salt, which is then poured over thinly-shaven slices of dry salt-free country bread - called sopas - which are a day or two old. These thin bread slices are available in nearly every corner 'colmado' - as the small neighbourhood grocery stores are called. Those who have grown up with sopas Mallorquinas on the table will probably always look forward to having it again, and again. You can prepare this dish and have it ready in less than an hour. Ingredients for 4 persons: 1/2 lb (200 grams) of thinly shaven slices of country bread (Website showing photos of loaf). A dense country-style bread is needed for this and it should be stale, dry and sliced paper thin. - about 8 young leaves & stems - roughly chopped small cabbage - Chinese cabbage if possible - roughly chopped 1 onion cut in julienne handful of - roughly chopped - (quantity as in foto) cauliflower - a few florets broken in pieces 1 ripe tomato, peeled and diced 2 teasp sweet paprika powder 4 TBS olive oil 2 green peppers - cut in large dice 2 - 2 1/2 cups water optional: chicken stock cube salt fresh ground black pepper 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed 1) Put the oil in a shallow flame-proof earthenware or ceramic casserole (eg Corning Ware or similar). When oil is hot, add the onion, green pepper and garlic. Saute without browning. 2) Add the tomato and the large diced vegetables. Sweat the vegetables and blend in the paprika powder. Season with salt & fresh ground pepper. 3) Add the water and let simmer gently for about 15 - 20 minutes, then taste to check seasoning. (Note: After pouring in the water I added a Knorr chicken stock cube, broken up and scattered over top.) 4) Once vegetables are tender, turn off stove, remove them from the pot with a slotted spoon and transfer them to a warm bowl, leaving the broth in the casserole dish. There should be about an inch of broth. 5) Arrange the thin shaven slices of dry bread over the bottom of the casserole dish so the broth is totally absorbed, and put the vegetables back in the casserole on top of the bread. Let rest for at least 15 minutes before serving at the table. 6) Serve at the table in the same earthenware casserole dish. NOTES: The bread used in this recipe is typical to Mallorca and is a simple bread made of unbleached partially whole wheat flour, water and yeast. It is therefore dense and able to absorb the broth without becoming mushy. There are many variations of 'sopas mallorquinas' as the ingredients depend on what is available in the garden at the time. However those listed above are the main ones used and will give the true flavour of this dish. SharonCb