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aktillery9

About Last Night... for those of you interested...

aktillery9
last month

I thought I would start a new thread. Some of you will not know what I am talking about... others who read and responsed to my post on dark circles around my eyees... this is for you (and of course anyone who is interested).


First and most importantly, I felt very pretty and good about myself. I highlighted my hair and used a little concealer and kept my make up more nautural. I wore a pencil skirt (more casual) and a top that was somewhat fitted, added some jewelry and put on my leather flp flops. He had asked if we could keep it casual. So... I did for the most part (the shoes).


This is where it kind of starts to go downhill. He had walked to the restaurant as he lives close by. I drove pretty far to where he lives. I did it mostly bc the place is very cool (its old with neat light fixtures and other crazy things).... and it is big and you can keep good distance. Must have with Covid and we are both vaccinated.


So, he was outside and it was 96 or so degrees. I get there and walk in and he comes in from outside in (I kid you not) wearing work out clothing....a plain gray t-shirt and some kind of work out kind of short and tennis shoes. He is completely drenched in sweat.... his shirt is soaked and sweat is pouring off of his face. I am pretty dumbfounded at this point and kind of grossed out. But hey, I am open minded and try to push any quick judgements aside.


He was very nice and and I was just my crazy quirky self. I believe it just being who you are. He was ok... cute but not my type. However, I made the best of it. I mean, at least I made the effort and I felt attractive so that was good.


He had a couple of happy hour beers, whereas I had a couple of special requested cocktails. I also ate and he did not. However, I was starving and needed something in my stomach after my drinks.


This is where it gets bad. I go to the bathroom and when I return there are two seperate checks on the table. One is for all of the things I ordered (around 40.00) and his check for the two happy hour beers (around 6.00). I have to say, I was shocked and sickened. I am all for splitting or discussing the bill etc. It is just the proper way of doing things (in my opinion). However, usually the man will pay... at least my experience. However, it is nice to have a discussion as it is the courteous thing to do in terms of who will pay or will you split it etc). Well, no discussion just a tricky move to get the separate bills while I was not present.


Even worse, he asked me how much he should tip. THE NERVE!!!!!! So, I said always 20% unless they were just awful and often more if they were really great.


He is such a sweet guy in that he feeds the birds outside his house... loves his cat... goes and feeds the cats in this area who are homeless and need food (alot of ppl know about it and do it). He seems to have a good heart.. but then he pulled that stunt and I was just angry and I really do not know how to explain it.


Oh and also, I was talking about having to get my old Mercedes serviced and how that took a chunk out of my account (not sure how we got on that topic). He then goes on to say he has a Tesla.


So, to make a long story longer... he has a tesla makes probaby 5 times as much as me and had me pay my own bill.


Am I crazy? Would this bother you guys? Like I said, I have no probelm splitting the bill or even offering to pay when they offer. It was that sneaky way in which he did it that just sort of made me think.... "is chivalry dead?" Also, I dropped him off at home and he did not even say let me know when you got home safely (I should not have been driving but I was sober even though asI had only two drinks and had eaten). He was definitely a contraction of character. He was so kind and sweet... yet selfish.


Ok, so there it is in a nutshell. I am sorry this is so long!!

Comments (130)

  • party_music50
    last month

    oh no! Yes, isolate and do get tested -- you need to know. I hope it's not Covid and that you start feeling better soon.

  • Peppapoodle
    last month

    Oh no, Aktillery- hoping you dont have it & if you do- its not worse than a cold.


    And BYE to the date. You & I are close to the same age, I believe……..and I would hold out for a gentleman. they have to still exist, right right!?!?!? I grt things are different now, but a date is like a job interview. First impressions & most importantly- your gut feeling! which yours was spot on.

    Ill probably get blasted for saying this…..but if your lonely & needing a little something- rent, no emotions, maybe younger. And hold out for someone that knows they deserve you!

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  • bbstx
    last month

    “Rent”

    Hilarious, Peppa!

  • lascatx
    last month

    Amy, you can get a home test kit with results in 15 minutes by going through the HEB pharmacy drive thru. $25 or less (they have 2 brands, slightly diff in price), you get 2 tests, easy nasal swab (not deep) and very accurate. My son needed a test on a Sunday and that's what we came up with. Painless and fast. If you are positive, check out the monoclonal antibodies. Even if fully vaccinated, they are worth looking into to see if you can get them. You have to get them early and not be too sick already so they can keep you from getting sicker and help you get well faster. Hope you feel better soon!

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    last month

    Get well soon ATK.

  • Anna Devane
    last month

    Hope you don’t have the virus but if you do i hope you didn’t get it from ”sweaty beer guy”

  • pricklypearcactus
    last month

    Get well soon!

  • aktillery9
    Original Author
    last month

    Thanks everyone! I am feeling much better, still a bit off but far better than I did. I got tested and was negative. I guess I just had a cold along with allergies... I am not sure. I only felt bad for a day and half. Strange how now when we feel sick we automatically think it could be covid.


  • Funkyart
    last month

    I went through the same about a week ago-- i didn't want to go get tested since I was mostly usre it was allergies and because I rarely leave the house -- but I spent the next 3 days sniffing *everything* to make sure I hadn't lost my sense of smell.

    aktillery9 thanked Funkyart
  • Arapaho-Rd
    last month

    Glad to hear you're feeing better.

    aktillery9 thanked Arapaho-Rd
  • Tina Marie
    last month

    Yay!

    aktillery9 thanked Tina Marie
  • SeattleMCM
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Maybe he's poor because he spent all of his money on his Tesla. kidding.

    I am a feminist, but I do think that the polite thing to do on a date is discuss the bill.

    It sounds like he was otherwise nice, albeit a little clueless. I like that he sounds outdoorsy. Prefers to walk, is a feeder of birds, owns a very green vehicle... things like that. If you enjoyed your time with him and are attracted to him, I'd maybe give him another shot? I've been on way worse online dates. Some guys can be a little clueless while also being a good person. He might need to be steered a little. NOTE: I don't mean try to change him. Just point if out if he missed something and see if he tries harder. And if he missteps too many times, then forget it. But if you're not into him and don't want to try again, that's ok too!

    (Also, don't assume he's rich. There are Tesla models that are more reasonably priced now. Or if it's a fancy one, we all know that some people will go way out of their budget to have their dream car. Which in that case, I'm not impressed. I despise labels and conspicuous consumerism and would not want to date somebody like that.)

    aktillery9 thanked SeattleMCM
  • terezosa / terriks
    last month

    I am a feminist, but I do think that the polite thing to do on a date is discuss the bill.


    Ideally, this would have been agreed on before the "date" or "meet up." It sounds like perhaps the guy's suggestion that it be "casual" was code for "this is not a date, and we will each pay our own way."

    aktillery9 thanked terezosa / terriks
  • SeattleMCM
    last month

    yes, that's a good point. he may have assumed "keep it casual" meant separate checks. he should have clarified beforehand.

    definitely weird that he showed up all sweaty in exercise clothes though. that's too casual, lol.

    aktillery9 thanked SeattleMCM
  • terezosa / terriks
    last month

    definitely weird that he showed up all sweaty in exercise clothes though. that's too casual, lol.


    Definitely too casual!

    aktillery9 thanked terezosa / terriks
  • lascatx
    last month

    I'm glad you don't have Covid. DH and I have to test again tomorrow to get the all clear. We are feeling fine, but we've spent the last week sniffing, tasting, and thinking twice about any sneeze, throat clearing, tired feeling or hint of a headache. I'll be glad when the second guessing whether they are covid symptoms is no longer a thing.

    aktillery9 thanked lascatx
  • terezosa / terriks
    last month

    I'll be glad when the second guessing whether they are covid symptoms is no longer a thing.


    Me too!

    aktillery9 thanked terezosa / terriks
  • aktillery9
    Original Author
    last month

    Las, I am hoping that you and DH are in the clear! It sounds like you guys are.

  • l pinkmountain
    last month

    I had a sinus infection last March and didn't think I had covid, but really had no way of knowing. Had to quarantine because I had a fever and a sore throat and post nasal drip was causing me to cough a lot. At that time, there was NO testing, (I tried to find any place to go . . . ) so I am so grateful that testing is now so easy and widely available with quick results.


    Later this year my cousin THOUGHT she had a sinus infection when, thanks to testing, she was able to find out she had covid and was able to not spread it to her mother who just got out of the hospital with major surgery, and to her asthmatic dad. A real triumph of American brains and ingenuity!


    It really helped us. Hubs could visit his grandchildren, and his quarantine time after travel was able to be shortened. And now, if you've had exposure, it helps you know with more certainty what's going on so you can plan accordingly.

    aktillery9 thanked l pinkmountain
  • lascatx
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Amy, thanks. We both tested negative this morning, so after 7 days, we appear to be in the clear. Ironically, I woke up with a sinus headache and felt worse than I have all week. I was pretty certain it was allergy related, but I still had a little trepidation when it was time to read the results.

    Pink, my brother had been blaming his illness on a sinus infection and I remember telling him it sounded like it was working it's way down into his chest and it was time to call his doctor and get some more help. He found out after a physical and some blood work in the summer that it had been covid. My son also thought he was getting a sinus infection. He had no thoughts he could have covid at that point -- but took a home test just before he came to our house for dinner because he'd had some students go out earlier in the week. He went home, showered and changed and decided to do the test just so he could say he was still clear. Except he called to say the test was positive, and we were all stunned. He did a second test -- same result. That test probably prevented DH and I from getting infected. I don't know what it is like elsewhere, but tests are harder to find now than they were, so I'm really grateful for these home test kits and HEB for having a good supply of them. We have the tools and the knowledge to control this. I'll be grateful when we no longer need them.

  • aktillery9
    Original Author
    last month

    That is great news las!!! I have been suffering from allergies. It is always tough to decipher if it is only allergies or something more. I hope your allegies subside. I have tried everything but Flonase works best for me... hands down!

  • SeattleMCM
    last month

    Ugh, I've definitely had those moments after a weekend of fun where I get to play that game "is that sore throat real or imagined?"

  • l pinkmountain
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Yes, I discovered Flonase here last year, it does help me, I'm so thankful there is something that does, because I tried a lot of things. I also discovered that mold is my trigger, not so much pollen. And the pyrethrin they spray all around here for mosquitoes . . . that's why now that I'm spending more time inside the allergies got worse, there's a lot of hidden allergens in the typical house . . . dust mites and other types of dander too . . . sigh . . . we hope someday to have less wall to wall carpet in our lives . . . and I'd like a washer that really got the water hot too!

  • lascatx
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I'm a Nasacort person. I was told they worked the same but Flonase had a smell/taste that some people found objectionable and that was enough for me to go the other way. It is a gamechanger. Which is good, because my son wants me to test with every cough or sneeze now. We'll get past that.

  • l pinkmountain
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Sinus problems can get chronic in your old age, with flare ups from time to time. I try to manage mine long-term. That means eating healthy, and I take NAC and fenugreek as a preventative, along with Vit. C which aids in absorption of many, many compounds. Also wear a dust mask when working with dust inside, and leaves and dirt outside. I have not yet gotten into the neti pot habit but I should . . . Thyme is also supposed to be helpful long term, I actually eat a lot of it naturally, since it goes well with a lot of vegetarian foods . . . so I don't take thyme capsules. Unfortunately I don't much care for the taste of fenugreek which is why I take it in capsule form.

  • dedtired
    last month

    Be careful with the Flonase and Nasacort. My BIL developed chronic nosebleeds from using it. He had some awful events and was told to stop using it immediately. I use it only when I absolutely need it, and then only a couple times.

  • ginrummy53
    last month

    My son-in-law used Flonase when younger and now has basically no sense of smell. He said there was a class action lawsuit at one time.

  • terezosa / terriks
    last month

    Are you sure that it was Flonase that had the class action suit? I know that the original Zicam was pulled from the market for that reason.

  • patriceny
    last month

    As someone who suffers from chronic sinus problems, the common thing I run into is that some people confuse the OTC sprays like Afrin and Neosenepherine with the rx sprays. Azelastine is a gift from heaven, IMO.

  • Anna Devane
    last month

    GIinrummy

    it’s important to note that Flonase classaction suit was for preventing the availability of a generic form, not for any side effects.

  • l pinkmountain
    last month

    Regarding Flonase, it clearly says on the label/instructions for use, not to use it for more than two weeks. I have never used it for more than a few days in a row. You can become sort of "addicted" to it but I am aware of the dangers and use it accordingly.

  • Anna Devane
    last month

    Pinkmountain

    i had to run and look at my Flonase because i’ve been using it for years!!! my bottle doesn’t say any thing like that and i was told to use Flonase year round for allergies and because i often get sinus infections. With all due respect, i think you might be confusing Flonase with Afrin type sprays ( which have their place)

  • l pinkmountain
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Well I can't find it now. The text was very small. But I did find this, and to be very, very specific, the recommendation is not to take any longer than is necessary to control symptoms. There are side effects that occur for some people. Others not so much. Some folks apparently take it for years without issue.

    https://www.clevelandclinicmeded.com/medicalpubs/ccjm/december2005/pien.htm

    Here's all you'll ever want to know, from the manufacturer. https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2019/020121s045lbl.pdf

    (I'll bet you could find similar kinds of stuff for any kind of treatment you're getting, including vaccines. We are so blessed, this is all free information although you have to have an Internet connection to access it. But that is also FREE at your local public library!!)

    I'm not sure if you build up resistance or get rebound. I know this happens with OTC pain killers like asprin and tylenol used every day for months at a time, but flonase is a different animal. Since I only use it occasionally, I haven't had to deal with any of these issues directly. I did deal with rebound for chronic headaches and had to learn to take OTC pain killers properly as a result. That's what I meant by "addicted" but that is not really the correct term for the rebound effect with certain medications. Maybe this does not apply to Flonase. Maybe it was my doctor who told me to go two weeks on and then take a week off. I got immediate relief after a week, and since the stuff is fairly expensive I don't take it any longer than necessary. My bad about the precaution being on the label.

    My husband did get addicted to Afrin, and he lost his sense of smell. But as many have pointed out, that's a different medication all together.

  • Faron79
    last month

    Akt-
    Gadz....I'm getting older! I'll be 60 soon! Yikes!🤪


    Since I'm at the tail-end of the "Yuppie" Generation, I've gotta "Tee-off" on guys like your date! I grew up farming in E ND. Men wore Suits then. If you went to Church without a Suit, it was like you had the Plague!


    I just don't "get" the recent "Slob" generations!! No clue what "dressing-up" means.....not knowing how to FIX anything......quite often a "Beater" type car......I could go on.


    I'm sorry you met a Slug like that. If I wasn't married (34th Anniversary in Oct!!!😍💓), I'd give you a call. I treat my Wife like a LADY. I often open the Car door for her too!


    Faron

    aktillery9 thanked Faron79
  • aktillery9
    Original Author
    last month

    Faron, you are a true gentleman! You have a lucky wife.

  • Tina Marie
    last month

    Azelastine is a gift from heaven, IMO. @patriceny It's great! Azelastine is a antihistimine though, not a steroid or decongestant. I also have a mold allergy, a pretty bad one. I have had allergies since I was probably around 10-12ish. I've done series of shots and have become desensitized to most things, but not mold. My worst time is usually fall, when the leaves are decaying. We've had our house tested, no mold, thankfully!!


    Flonase is not addictive. It works best when used consistently and if I recall correctly, my allergist told me it takes a few days to build up and work most effectively. I either use it or a steriod (like what goes in a nebulizer) in my nettie pot.


    @Faron79 my husband is like that too. I turned 60 this year and it's great!! Honestly, age is just a number to me. I am healthy and living and loving life. Retired over two years ago and loving it. Don't think of the number, just make the most out of life! Congrats on 34 years; we will hit 40 in February. Doesn't seem possible?!!

  • bbstx
    last month

    @Faron79, what a guy!! I salute you for your general kindness and for your thoughtfulness to your wife.



  • patriceny
    last month

    Understood Tina Marie, that was my point. Apparently I didn't do it very well. 😁 Some people lump all nose sprays in together. Afrin is the work of the devil, IMO. I know too many people who overused it and really suffered for it. I've never heard to only use Flonase for 3 days.....I previously used it for years under the advice of a doctor.

  • terezosa / terriks
    last month

    From the Flonase site:


    FLONASE ALLERGY RELIEF DOSING

    For adults and children 12 years of age and older:

    • Week 1—use 2 sprays in each nostril once daily.
    • Week 2 through 6 months—use 1 or 2 sprays in each nostril once daily, as needed to treat your symptoms.
    • After 6 months of daily use—ask your doctor if you can keep using.
  • Faron79
    last month

    I've babbled about this before I believe.....

    Are allergy-shots an option Akt?!


    I had very good results back in HS (back in '78?). Had weekly shots during most of my Senior year. It basically CURED me! Haven't even remotely needed an allergy med in 40 years.


    Faron

  • lascatx
    last month

    Faron -- careful! The allergies can come back! I took allergy shots after lighting up like a Christmas tree in the environmental tests post law school -- continued to take them until my oldest was born. I had moved to another state and eventually quit taking the shots. No problems. No shots. Moved back to Texas and still had no issues for more than 10 years, but they have been creeping back over the last 10 years.

  • l pinkmountain
    last month
    last modified: last month

    I'm sorry if my post created misinformation. I don't know where I heard to limit Flonase, but it is not a typical steroid inhaler. It is not addictive and it does not cause rebound, according to their safety information (which I found while looking for extra band aids) and also online safety information about the active ingredients. Since my mold allergy is not year round, I don't use Flonase a lot, but that is due to the expense mostly.


    Faron, I dated guys your age when I was into online dating. I have to say that manners are not necessarily generational. I know people with great manners all across the board in age, and also bad manners all across the board. I've been in the people managing business for 40 years and the variety of ways people were socialized and their behavior penchants are amazingly varied. Some of it is training and some of it is just personality and life experiences. The whole nature/nurture balance. I can tell from your posts here that you come by good manners quite naturally. I don't know the source of it all, but I am grateful for it!


    Unfortunately, as women get older and have more experience with people, and men in particular, they have less tolerance for red flags of inconsiderate behavior. Partly due to learning to recognize them, and partly due to the fact that for us, life is getting shorter and shorter and we don't have time to waste. We tend to cut our losses earlier. I learned that some thing will not change, and in fact, bad habits, unless really worked on, tend to get worse. And I take that as a word of caution for myself, I am very wary of falling into a bad habit and continually work on ones I already have . . . sigh.

  • SeattleMCM
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Anna Devane l pinkmountain -- regarding not taking Flonase forever: yes, it says that on the packaging but it might be a conservative warning to just cover their butts legally. I understand that some people do take this type of medication all year round and they're just fine. Flonase and Nasacort are corticosteroids -- as in steroid based, so I am a little weary about taking something like that forever. It's nearly impossible to find a good answer for that online. Just a coincidence, but I happen to have an appointment with my ENT tomorrow, and that was going to be one of my questions for them. I'll let you know what they say!

    LOL, this got really off topic, sorry to the OP!

  • Anna Devane
    last month
    last modified: last month

    we should all follow the advice of iur MD’s and what feels right for us . Both my ENT & GP said i should use Flonase yr round indefinately. pull back if i get any adverse effects such as nose bleeds etc. It has been very helpful for me but to each his own

  • SeattleMCM
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Anna Devane that's really good to know. I want to be able to use it year round, so I hope my doc says the same.

  • Anna Devane
    last month
    last modified: last month

    Everyone is so different. i skip a day here and there but of all the steroid base sprays i tried this was the best for me. My husband hates it and uses another brand.

    Good luck Seattle

  • SeattleMCM
    last month
    last modified: last month

    whelp, my ENT confirmed it: he thinks people can take Nasacort indefinitely if they need to. he said it's pretty harmless to most people, just keep an eye out for nosebleeds or heart palpitations (very rare). I figured it would be ok but it feels good to get it confirmed.

  • Anna Devane
    last month

    Seattle

    that’s same as i was told by both GP&ENT. as i said i’ve been using them for years. you just have to find the one that works best for you. Best of luck and happy hunting

  • lascatx
    last month

    Hey, y'all think we can move nasal spray discussions to their own thread -- if really needed?

  • SeattleMCM
    last month
    last modified: last month

    or you can just unfollow the thread. the OP appears to be gone and the original discussion seems to have run its course.

    sorry to threadjack though.