Wodka, I lost my husband in May - he died in his sleep. He wasnâÂÂt sick, but he wasnâÂÂt too healthy, either. It was a total shock and I still donâÂÂt quite believe it. I also have a big support system of people taking me to dinner and making sure that I'm busy. I haven't been working out as much as I used to, but all summer I was like a crazy woman in the garden doing all the heavy digging and lifting that my husband used to do for me (I've been re-arranging). I'm just a few years younger than you, and I thank God that my body is strong enough to do that work - there are many people our age that have physical problems. I've lost close to 10 pounds, mostly from my middle and I'll share the way I've been feeding myself - maybe it can help you. I buy chicken breasts or pork chops or small steaks when they're on special and I freeze them separately in zipper bags so it's easy to pull out just one piece and defrost it in a pot of hot water in the sink. I usually grill that meat (or fish or veggie burger) and also have a salad or sauteed spinach. I now rarely make rice or potatoes (something my husband insisted on having), so I'm eating just protein and vegetables, and there's fewer pots to clean up, too. When I don't pack my lunch I go to a local soup/salad bar, except for those very stressful days when I can't resist a ruben and French fries, but I try to keep that to a minimum. I'll get Chinese or other take out for dinner maybe once a week. And I still drink wine! But with winter coming and the long dark nights to get through, I'm looking for an affordable gym to go to after work to have a place to go and to keep moving. And I'm going to look into massage - what flyleft said makes sense. I'm sure toxins can build up from grief. Since my husband didn't take care of his health, I'm determined that I will. I also turned down the anti-depressants my doctor offered. I told her I cry every day, many times, but not all day. But like others have said, give yourself a break - this is a very big thing, especially after 40 years together. You will find your way.

Thanks alisande. It actually feels like fluid retention because once it starts, I seem to blow up - don't laugh everyone because that's exactly what it looks like - LOL; like I could float away. I just had all levels checked and everything is fine. I do know I tend to carry a lot of fluid. I'm taking very small dose of meds for that but not regularly because it's way too much everyday. I end of losing too much magnesium (not Potassium, if you can believe that one). I've been using some supplements that have cut down on some of that. But nothing seems to help that tire area. Glad you mentioned this though. I feel so much better. Although I know that I have to watch the fluid retention and get regular bloodwork, at least it's something that I can deal with other than just gaining weight like crazy. BTW, I just talked to my siser who is really into holistic health, and she mentioned that since my A1c is only 6.4, I might want to try to reduce it further through nutrition. She knows people with much higher levels and on insulin, that have actually been taken off of meds. Diabetes is such an ugly disease - between it's damage and the meds. I put it up there with CA. I'm ready to try anything. Thanks so much for your suggestion!!

Rob, great to see you! Your life sounds full, hectic, but gratifying. I second everyone's kudos in the mom department for you! We seem to have a lot in common. I'm a researcher/writer/editor/teacher/historian by profession (it's so hard to explain what I do, haha!). And music is a HUGE part of my life. I worked for 12 years as a professional musician before going back to college to do whatever it is I do now. My parents were so supportive of me and my music growing up. I didn't realize until I was at least in my 30's how exceptional they were. I cannot remember one single time them asking me to stop practicing or even goofing off with my friends on the piano, drums, guitar, trumpet, whatever...and I didn't know for a long time that other kids' parents weren't like that. Lass--we are lucky here in Washington (state) to have several excellent writing grants available to us. Think positive! If you don't get it this year, write and ask them how you could strengthen your writing to be competitive for next year. Then follow up and apply again! Also, check out Jack Straw. It's an amazing fellowship where they have you share your work on NPR and other venues. IIRC, the deadline is usually in October. And thanks for the encouragement! I'm celebrating small successes. If I do a little each day, it will eventually get done. :-) I'mhappy--have you tried opening your printer on your hard drive and making sure it's properly installed? Sometimes a printer can go offline even after it's been fine before. One easy check would be to uninstall it from your computer and then reinstall it. llucy-- I'm glad things are OK with your mom, but sad that you have been experiencing anxiety. I don't have first hand experience with that, but definitely second hand, as my daughter Joy has a lot of anxiety issues and full on panic attacks. I understand how frightening it must be. You're in my prayers. Steph--so very sorry you've been sick!! This heat sure doesn't help! I know you feel internal pressure to get stuff done every day, but remember your health is job #1 and getting the rest you need to get better IS doing something! Laundry and dishes aren't going anywhere. They'll wait until you're feeling up to it. :-) Audrey--that cake looks amazing, just like your name, lol! I swear if I didn't have diabetes I'd bake, then eat, that entire cake, hahaha! murraysmom--how cool is it that you have such wonderful friends to vacation with!! That sounds delightful!! And YAY for recycling! Shades, if you ever line your entire yard with empty wine bottles, I'm driving over the state line to have a serious chat with you, hahaha!! ;-) Schoolhouse, let us know if you try the tea again and how it turns out. Maybe it was just something different about your digestive system at the time and it will go down like it's supposed to now.

Chisue, I rarely post on this forum, and in rather a rush so hope I make sense : ) I was in a similar position as you some years ago. Original weight was 115-125 lbs. at 5’5” – slender but enough. I became ill and kept losing weight, my lowest was 76 lbs. if memory serves. Sadly, you and I both know what that looks like and does to the body. I did have an appetite, but still struggled to gain weight. I eventually put on some pounds and stayed around 80-90 lbs., which was not enough and always fluctuating. If I skipped one meal I lost a few pounds. Dieticians these days are more familiar with weight-loss programs. I found no help with several medical specialists other than ‘gaining weight is very difficult when you are trying’, but that could be the area where I live. Boost and Ensure helped keep me from losing weight but not gaining and keeping it, and I added ice cream and malt powder making milkshakes with them – they were very filling to me. Disliked the higher protein drinks for some reason. They tasted odd. I’m not sure if this will help, because all our bodies and metabolisms are different, as are reasons for weight problems, but eating a few more carbohydrates with each of my meals finally helped. Slow going, and if I put too much on (3 pounds in a month or so) I’d lose it and then some (like one step forward, three steps back!). Kind of like trying to lose weight, seems the slower you ‘pack it on’, the more likely you keep it long term as it allows your metabolism to adjust. At least for myself. I understand you are looking for something now to help quickly, of course. But the long-haul is important too. I am happy to report I weigh 108 lbs. now and holding very steady for over a year. First time in 20+ years. I’ll add this: I was told everything under the sun – eat 3 large meals a day; eat several small meals a day; eat more bananas; bananas fill you up to much; eat more fruit with meals; eat less fruit with meals; drink fewer liquids; drink more liquids… you get the gist and I’m sure you’ll hear it all. I even added the powdered bulk-gain supplement to Ensure. Eating well-balanced meals with as many extra carbs as you can tolerate is my recommendation. Potatoes, pasta salads, rice, etc. The protein drinks filled me up and didn’t help me gain at all. Your mileage may vary, and I understand your appetite is low. Perhaps the protein drinks with some fries? And as others have said, there are medications that help with nausea or low appetite related to illness and chemo. I could not tolerate most but you may. I wish you the very best.