I not only find rain showers overrated, I find them annoying. I don't want to have my head continually drenched or have to stand partially out of the water to avoid this. Why can't you simply get a high quality shower head with multiple settings that will satisfy both of you? This will be more practical and save the additional expense of installing a rain shower head and a diverter valve to switch between the two heads.

Is there one that aerates on one setting, then just has gravity on the other? I’ve only experienced either/or. Usually the non-aerated setting is just the center stream of the shower head with not very much water coming out and its too concentrated right in the middle of the head.

I think your experience may be limited to poor quality shower heads. There are many shower heads that offer a wide range of settings that do not function like you describe.

I'm in a similar situation planning our new shower (albeit in reverse; husband loves the rain shower, I prefer regular showerheads) -- have been looking into railed handshowers plus rainshower ceiling head combinations. I know what you mean about the multifunction showerheads which so often just vary the pattern of spray, which doesn't make up for the rainshower feel my husband wants.

My fear is that a handshower won't stay fixed on the rail from the same convenient angle as a regular wall-mounted showerhead. (We used to have an older one by Moen that was always drooping, drove me crazy.) I see that there are a few options like Kohler's Hydrorail, which have both fixed showerhead and handshower on one rail, to which you could add a rainshower head on the ceiling, although three showerheads does seem a little de trop. I'll be interested to hear what you come up with!

A drooping shower head on a rail can occur, but is not typical. It's mainly a problem with a poor quality design. I've got two -- different manufacturers, different showers -- and have never had this problem.

Go to a good quality plumbing store, not big box stores to try out different quality shower heads.

We are very happy with our air-inject Hansgrohe rain-shower shower heads. Not shards of glass strong, but plenty strong enough for us. Ours has three settings; rain-shower, massage, mix. I never liked/used the massage setting on other shower heads, but I like this one a lot (I let the spray massage my back, neck or shoulder aches and pains, and it really helps).

I have. Grohe Tempesta Cosmopolitan hand held that I like a lot. There are rain and rainX settings and two stronger ones. I’m in California too, I removed the flow restrictor. Easy to do with YouTube help.

We have a Moen magnetics shower head that we like a lot. Hubby can get the strong spray that literally hurts my skin (I have fibromyalgia) and I can get a much gentler spray that is still good at rinsing my hair out. It’s a hand held that is easy to take off and put back on, and it’s very effective at rinsing the shower. We’ve had rain shower heads before, Hubby loves them, but he’s bald. They suck when trying to clean your hair or if you don’t want to get your hair wet.

We had two shower heads in our previous bathroom. We could each keep the adjustments as we preferred. I also had mine installed a little lower. Eventually I had our plumber change mine to a handheld so I could wash the Golden and rinse her tummy.

Go to Ferguson, they have a shower in there and let you try it out (on your hands lol). We found ours that way. This one is amazing by the way. We did it as an arm, not from the ceiling. https://www.build.com/moen-s6320/s689325?uid=1757910