Google Gardenweb and Cabinet Coat. You'll find a lot of information. Cabinet Coat or CC as it's sometimes called here is a great product, but has a learning curve, check out the painting forum for more on this and tips. Check around locally to see if you can find the CC. The parent company to InslX who makes it is now Benjamin Moore, so I've found more places are carrying it, versus a couple of years ago. Ace Hardware sometimes carries it. The white is a weird blue-ishy cool color. It also comes in a pastel base. You can get it tinted in light colors including cream, but no dark colors. My local hardware store carries it and they can tint it to all the Benjamin Moore colors. When you paint, no matter which paint you choose, the oak grain will show through, so if that's the look you're after, great. If you want a smoother final look, you'll need to do some hefty prep. There's a couple of ways to do this, one is to sand to remove the lacquer, fill grain with wood filler, sand, sand, sand, prime and coat with paint. Or you can use a product from Fine Paints of Europe called Brushing Putty. It's pretty expensive, but might be worth it in what you'll spend in time. I've never used it, but Google it. There's info out there.

In order to brighten things up, look at the off whites. They look like colors on the little sample cards, but when painted on the wall, often look more like a pale color than a white. I'd go all the way up to the lightest colors. I really don't see how you can go wrong, your choices so far are so neutral. I think you could go warmer, or cooler, and it would make sense. In order to brighten up the space, I would do these things: -think about shiny, beefy drawer pulls/knobs, like polished nickel -think about maybe glass subway tile (or other pattern), or even a metallic tile. Something that reflects light. -make sure your lighting is excellent in every regard: overhead, undercabinet, pendant work lights. That will really help.

Also, with that overhang on the island, if you change to a stone top, you will need to add some supports to the cabinet to support the overhang. Please, make your self a comprehensive plan before you start. Otherwise, one thing leads to another to another to another. Then, you are in over your head and have no idea how you got there. Do you want to leave the microwave over the stove, is the island in the best place, how much seating do you want at the island, is there enough space between the island and the sink or stove, would a peninsula serve better than an island, should my cabinets go to the ceiling, do I want a lazy Susan in the corner, should my bottom cabinets be drawers, etc. These are all questions you need to decide before you start changing things. That is why it is suggested for people to live in a house for a year before demoing a kitchen. It really takes about a year or two to plan a kitchen renovation. By that time, you will also get an idea of the true cost. Without a comprehensive plan, you will probably end up spending about 30K and have no idea how you got there and have to spend 10K more to finish. With a comprehensive plan, you will end up spending 30K, but you know exactly what you got for your money. Don't forget about flooring, if you are going to change it, now is the time. But, I love your flooring. It is so neutral, it just fades into the back ground. When you have a plan, before you swing a demolition hammer, have all of your supplies there....your new sink, faucets, cabinet hardware, cabinets, dishwasher, etc. So that when you start, you won't have to make a bad decision because it will take 6 weeks to get ABC and you don't have the time.

I agree with @Beverly's comments. The wood of your kitchen cabinets appears fairly light from the photos. It's not the cabinets that are making your kitchen not the "light and airy" you want. First, and easiest, is to update the lighting. Second would be to change the bulky black counter stools for something much lighter - those are really sucking both space and light. Third would be to switch the black appliances for stainless steel which provides reflectivity, rather than having the black appliances swallow the light. If budget allows, I would change the backsplash, and if the budget allows, the counters. I would do any or all those things before painting the cabinets. You need to majorly de-clutter. You could paint everything, change everything in your kitchen, but with all the stuff and piles you have everywhere, it still won't look light and airy.