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The Kitchen Table

Smile today - 3/18/21

Annie Deighnaugh

5 years ago

(Happy 120th Bday to my maternal Grandmother Tessie!)

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Comments (22)

jim_1 (Zone 5B)
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Florida. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that’s the most dangerous of
all and we all have eaten, or will eat. Can anyone here tell me what food it is
that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
aok27502
5 years ago
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Rob333, I had never read that particular list, but boy, oh boy, I relate to some of the items. Socks, thanks for the explanation. I had no idea what the picture of a wolf (now, I know it's a coyote) and a bird was trying to represent.
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There wouldn't have been many seats to start with, ben - unless it were a large hall ... with high ceilings, for lots of uncovidiated air. ole joyful P.S. to Jim - all of our Canadian pennies disappeared years ago. When my bill at the store ends at $2.87, they round it down to $2.85: if $2.98, rounded up to $3.00. o j
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dedtired -- That was me, using a corkscrew to open a bottle of vermouth last week when the metal top refused to break off the rim. (But the top didn't come off, and I had to pour the vermouth out of the hole in it.) This is the third time I've had a bottle like that.
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Apparently Tommy Hilfiger finds the magnetic buttons marketable. https://usa.tommy.com/en/tommy-adaptive and Duluth Trading https://www.duluthtrading.com/mens-magnet-wrinklefighter-relaxed-fit-long-sleeve-shirt-74266.html and Walmart https://www.duluthtrading.com/mens-magnet-wrinklefighter-relaxed-fit-long-sleeve-shirt-74266.html There were others too. I smiled when I saw Eld's post. My niece has CP and struggles with buttons, snaps and zippers - my sister-in-law added magnetic closures to some of her outfits. She found the magnetic snaps on Amazon and sewing supply sites. Maire
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eld6161
5 years ago
katlan
5 years ago
Ded tired
5 years ago
Jasdip
5 years ago
juneroses Z9a Cntrl Fl
5 years ago
Annie Deighnaugh
Original Author
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago

It occurred to me that some might not get the joke I posted today, so just in case....I was nuts for this song.
buccos4vr
5 years ago
Susanwv
Jasdip
5 years ago
This popped up on my FB memories today. Everybody's frustration when doing passwords.

WINDOWS

Please enter your new password.

USER :

Cabbage

WINDOWS:

Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER:

Boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:

Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER:

1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:

Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

USER:

50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:

Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

USER:

50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:

Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER:

50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS:

Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:

ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS:

Sorry, that password is already in use
liira55
5 years ago
eld6161
5 years ago
Jasdip, I laughed outloud
HU-753479426
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
Just what I needed this morning

seagrass
blfenton
5 years ago
These are great this morning. I needed all the little chuckles. Thanks
Jasdip
5 years ago
I wonder how many of us will use 'boiled cabbages' as a new password? I just thought of that!! LOLOL
lettersatoz
5 years ago
hahaha....that was totally me when I got locked out of this site and had to create a new username....all of the cute or clever ones I tried were already taken and I was on my last nerve when I thought I finally had it and it returned the error code "please only use letters a to z"....
Jasdip
5 years ago
^^^^Love it!!
Rusty again
5 years ago
User
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
wildchild2x2
5 years ago
kathyg_in_mi
5 years ago
MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME!
joyfulguy
5 years ago
Don't be cowed by that last one folks - it's udderly true that t'ain't no bull!

o j

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