I wonder if this may have something to do with the area you live in. Are the people just friendlier in your part of the world? I live in a small town rural area and people do that here.

That gets so uncomfortable. I squirm and I never know what to do. Usually just uh hum in agreement and look at the rack, root around in my cart or whatever.

Chatting yes, that's okay, but don't tell me all of your ailments.

Yes this area is rural, but it can happen to me anywhere I go. I must have one of "those faces" because people also tend to ask me "Are you by any chance related to -?" Guess there are worse things in life that could happen to me!

I agree with where you live. At my primary home very few strangers start up a conversation. Now when I am at camp you better alot extra time for conversation with strangers.

Same thing happened to me about a year ago. I was looking at shoe liners for my shoes. Out of nowhere came a hand around me, she was reaching for a liner and said,”this is one you need”. She went on to say, “I have lots of foot issues , then on and on she went , never catching a breath to give me a chance to continue looking. I told her my husband was looking for me , please excuse me. After she cleared the area I walked back and selected the liners I was looking for. I will speak or smile to a stranger, but not run up and try to do their shopping or telling them my business.

People do talk to me....usually in the store when I am buying birdseed, someone will start a conversation about feeding birds. They don't talk about the ailments....usually the kind of birds they see at their feeders.

I go to the thrift shops almost every time I go to Lufkin. People talk to me there.

I don't mind at all. As long as they don't follow me home.

I run into the same thing. I think people are maybe more lonely, scared, etc.,

than normal? The subjects they talk about seem to be that way. I don't

mind...never had any get out of hand.

In pre-covid days I often had small chit-chat conversations with other shoppers which I found enjoyable. I do remember one young woman a few years ago though, in the check-out line, gave me a very very detailed and personal description of the birth of her son. It was so much over-sharing. I am not sure who was more embarrassed, me or the cashier.

Yes, I have had that happen but usually at work when I was stuck behind a counter and couldn't get away. They were my customers, some with stressful jobs, family problems, financial problems, etc. They could tell that I am a good listener and most of them just needed that. More often than not their attitude changed from negative to positive and it became more pleasant when they came into my business. It is important to build rapport with customers.

Ohmygawsh. My mother has what she calls an "invisible talk to me" sign hanging over her. People just love talking to her and she loves to talk back. Complete strangers. And she NEVER starts the conversation. It is so WEIRD! She has an amazing ability to turn a negative conversation into a laugh fest. It's a gift and a curse. I feel I inherited my own talk to me sign from her to a smaller degree. I have seen her turn those ailment rants around too. She said treat them like children if they are whining like children,as all they usually want is sympathy and someone to complain to, then change the subject. You can almost ALWAYS find something to bring out a smile in anyone. If not, then they are happy being miserable.

Those types are hard to talk to. That is,people who are not satisfied unless they have something to be angry about,offended by, or burdened with. In that case, I let them be angry or offended. It usually makes their day to find something to huff about.....

People around me tend to keep to,themselves. Of course if I run into a friend, we may end up yakking for quite awhile. If someone starts a conversation, I usually have a nice chat but if it turns weird, I find a way out of it.

My friend talks to everyone. Sometimes I feel like clapping my hand over her mouth. Honest, no one is interested in your grandchildren and their dog! Her life is pretty narrow and she lives through her children and grandchildren. She talks about them incessantly. There are times when she starts in on this with strangers and I just have to walk away as I can see the other person’s eyes glazing over.

Before the days fo GPS and phones, I could never go for a walk without being asked for directions. It was pretty funny.

Never has happened to me.

Here is a funny conversation I had with an older woman when I was in my 30s - she was a fellow shopper at a department store and out of nowhere she stepped in front of me and said "I HAVE to show you a picture of my pride and joy" I thought "who the heck are you and why do I need to see a picture of your grandchild?" She pulled out her pocket book and then showed me a photo of a bottle of Joy dishwashing liquid and a box of some kind of cleaning product called Pride. I can appreciate that kind of humor!

I get this treatment too. It often baffles me. I'll think, but I am not wearing a uniform or name badge, and I have a purse over my shoulder. Do I really look like a worker? I get it in garden centers and at hospitals (I am a research administrator in an academic hospital). I agree it's that we know our way around, but disagree we are too approachable; they just feel comfortable with us.

It does. I wouldn’t say it happens all the time, but often enough. I lived in the south for several years and there people would chat amongst each other all the time. I’ve always viewed it as someone just being friendly (or even in need of an ear?) and it’s never bothered me. Here in my area of Michigan, people are in many ways, just not as friendly and I miss that.

Amy, my mom was the same. She often used to say everyone talked to her!

Susie, I like your story.

I think people who over-share are lonely and might not have the support system they need. Reaching out to strangers is a way for them to vent.

I don't usually start the conversation, but I may say something in passing....like I told a woman the other day that her children were beautiful. Yesterday I commented to a woman who had 2 Chihuahuas in her shopping cart that she had sweet babies. I didn't stop to chat, but I think people may need a little uplift.

I don't interject myself in other people's conversations usually, but when I was in Tractor Supply and a couple women were inquiring about what to feed an old, skinny, abandoned horse, and the TS person said "sweet feed", I spoke up and said no, they need a senior feed, but they also need to be on a refeeding program. I involved myself in the conversation, and if I hadn't, Emery probably wouldn't be alive today, and in great condition for his age.

Jeb zone5

Here is a funny conversation I had with an older woman when I was in my 30s - she was a fellow shopper at a department store and out of nowhere she stepped in front of me and said "I HAVE to show you a picture of my pride and joy" I thought "who the heck are you and why do I need to see a picture of your grandchild?" She pulled out her pocket book and then showed me a photo of a bottle of Joy dishwashing liquid and a box of some kind of cleaning product called Pride. I can appreciate that kind of humor!

~~~~

Ooh I wish that had happened to me. And I'd like to get to know her! Lucky you.

We have several rental properties and when we are showing the places for prospective tenants, they often get very chatty and start over sharing.

Seriously, I have known you for three minutes and you are telling me about your grandmother’s porcelain figurine collection and how she died of a gangrenous foot.

I don’t discourage it though. Sometimes these are welcome additions to the final selection process.

Not me but my mom did. But she was the one who struck up an idle conversation with you in line at the grocery store. She wouldn't tell you her ailments but just wanted someone to talk to for a minute. She was widowed at 65 and while always busy was still lonely and was just looking for a little idle conversation. When someone strikes up a conversation with me that's what I try to remember and I will usually go along with it for a couple of minutes.

Especially during these trying times.

And in our local garden shop we're always exchanging "Do you know where this is" or "do you know how to grow this".

Before Covid it happened to me fairly often. Sometimes I've been in a hurry when the person started what I knew would be her life story. At those times I ask myself how much of a hurry I am really in. Really really? And if I see that I'm not in that big of a rush I settle in and let the lady go on and try to stay in the present.

One of my greatest regrets in my life was a time when i was really in a hurry -- I believe it was so but I no longer remember what the emergency was. I was on a side street in my neighbourhood and a lady rushed up to me to give me two apples. I thanked her and she told me where she lived. She owned a big house across the street from where we stood and she told me something about her son and a bit more. It excused myself and told her I was in a hurry. She said, "I'm so lonely." My heart broke but I left. That day I did call social services to tell them about her and her address and they said it was the kind of thing they do. That was it. I'll hear her, "I'm so lonely" until the day I die. And if I do my life review after my death, I'll hear it again.

ETA I ask myself now -- did I go back to her house? I think I may have once knocked on her door but maybe I'm just telling myself to make myself feel good. I do remember standing in front of that house at times and it always looked empty to me. As I remember I was overwhelmed with my own life in those days. No excuse though.

I think it's the other way around. On the receiving end, it isn't that some people appear approachable, it's rather that some people are ready to blab and blab with strangers. Especially when the recipient is a captive audience, as when waiting - in a line, in a waiting room, wherever. Some people have no filters and think anyone nearby is a potential person to listen to what they can't keep in. I find it highly annoying. Someone I know, I'll listen and converse all day. A stranger, Nope.

I'm a friendly, outgoing and social person, I love meeting and talking to people. I don't need alone time as many do. But just because I smile at you to be polite when we're waiting in a line at the airport doesn't mean I want to hear about your dog's psoriasis or for you to tell me that you've already forgotten where you parked your car or that you overslept this morning. Because frankly, my dear, I don't ........To myself I call these people Space Invaders. Sorry to say, they're women more often than not. When ignoring them doesn't turn them off, I resort to pulling my smartphone out of my pocket and say "Sorry, my phone just vibrated and I have a couple of things I need to read right now". It always works and sometimes elicits an apology. The apology is appropriate when I need to resort to this tactic to stop the flow.

I followed my DM's example of always giving a stranger at least 'the time of day'. I've missed the ability to meet new people today, when it seems as though everyone is preoccupied with (hiding behind?) a cell phone. If you only interact with people you already know, how do you make new friends?

DH has an invisible Floor Walker sign. In the early days department stores employed men to politely answer questions and direct shoppers to various departments. (I'm sure they also did some 'loss prevention'.) It doesn't matter where we are -- could be an airport or walking down a street on vacation. Men and women come up to him to ask directions. I guess he looks approachable, safe, and evidently as though he will be able to help them.

I recently read about a survey in which people were asked whether they'd prefer to call someone or text them when they wanted to establish or continue a personal connection to the person. Most said they'd *text*, which of course is a round-about way of actually making a personal connection! Are we so shy? Are we afraid of rejection?

This has always happened to me. I live in NYC, and while I don’t actively seek it out, I’m naturally interested in people and generally enjoy these interactions. Sometimes I pick up that loneliness is what gets things started. Not always. Sometimes I can’t help but compliment someone on their cute kid or dog, but most of the time, I’m not the one to start these little connections.

I remember having a wonderful conversation once my whole train ride home. (50 minutes if I was lucky) We told each other about our jobs and our families. Sometimes you just can click with someone.

pretty much happens to me every single time i take my dogs anywhere. when i lift the back door to load my groceries or whatever else i have shopped for, 2 great danes spring up to see what they're getting for treats. they are both super friendly and love attention so it's nothing for me to stand there while a dozen people crowd around to pet them. even with covid, it still happens (thankfully, people around here are masked). many times, i'm asked if they can take a picture. i often offer to have them stand at the back of the van so i can take it of them with the dogs, they love that!

pre-covid, i used to spend a considerable amount of time answering questions, especially when my pack numbered 4...how much do they eat? do they live in the house? where do they sleep? these days, the conversations are much shorter.

Jeb, my boyfriend 35 years ago would pull that same photo out of his wallet to show strangers!

People talk to me all the time. They don't spill their guts like they seem to do to you all, but I usually find a connection. DH kids me when I tell him about such encounters "Did he go to school with your brother?" Because often that's the case!

My husband says I'm too approachable....but now....I approach others. ie: A couple was looking at tile at Home Depot, I chimed in, "I just did a whole house in that one." She said," you put it in bathrooms? "Then come to find out her tiler told her you can't use 12" tile in bathrooms, it's impossible to have grout joints smaller than 1/4".....yada...yada....her tiler lied to her to get out of using the tile she wanted....in other words. ☺ She was so happy. I showed her the companion-accent tile I'd used and she was smiling....and laughing....

I am a librarian and more than once while browsing in other libraries, I have been asked a library question. lol! I don't get into a lot of random conversations, but had to learn to dial back my "rush rush" attitude while visiting DS on the east coast. People in checkout lines would ask each other for directions, take ample time explaining and have other conversations. It was a slower pace and, I had to admit, very warm and friendly. But not my preferred style of business commerce.

I was thinking about this again this morning while out - no one talked to me today at the stores because I didn't make eye contact or nod at anyone!

My Grandmother would talk to anyone and everyone. On top of that she was a "close talker" and would get right in your face while telling you whatever was on her mind. When she passed away at 92 her mail was held at the post office and when I went to go pick it up there was a young man at the front desk that had lots of facial piercings... looked like he fell face first into a fishing tackle box... I told him my grandma had passed, he asked "What's the last name?" I told him, and then he said "Oh no, Helen died??"

I'm not but a dear friend, now deceased, would talk to a stump.

This area striking up conversations with strangers is completely normal. A comment about it being a wonderful day can lead to questions or comments about things that have been seen and/or suggestions of things to see. I seldom start conversations but sometimes when I used to shop asking about a product I see in a grocery cart, pro or con, would happen. Eye contact is not needed or often even wanted. This is not an area like St Louis on the other side of the state that conversations almost always include what school you went to. Is used as a method to decide if a person is worth talking to.

Right now is a strange time. Many people have been in solitary confinement for months. They may not see real people other than when looking out their windows. Do not be surprised if strangers make comments about any and everything to delay having to return to that solitude. Those few minutes of random connection could mean a difference in the mental attitude of both of you.

You never know what isolation and burdens a fellow human may be coping with. If you can spare some genuine connection, please extend yourself, without judgement. You won’t be contaminated, or followed home.

~_~_~

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby
Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window
Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working
Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care?

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby
Died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie
Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people)
Where do they all belong?

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney

Eleanor Rigby lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

I'm an introvert too. I have a lot of random conversations with strangers especially at the plant nurseries. I grew up in the south and will talk to just about anyone and I guess I look friendly. I haven't been out and about as much because of Covid. I went to a nursery about a month ago. A lady started talking to me about snap dragons. I showed her which ones I had bought for my garden and so she bought four of them. I've had other people buy what I'm buying too. I think it's humorous. Dh knows to come looking for me if I'm missing too long.

Ha ha -- Malfleur -- it was only after I left St. Louis that I started to hear that this was an identifier -- what High School did you go to? But I don't think it is used the way you say. it simply is a way to know how much you might have in common. I wonder how it got started? I actually love that idea. I went to Southwest High!!!

ETA And it's true that in St. Louis people talk to strangers. i actually love it when I go there. it feels like I can let down your guard and I didn't even realise I had one.

I don't mind listening to or chatting with strangers in normal circumstances, but I don't like being asked for advice. Not even on super simple things, like "this sweater or that one" ... I really really do not want to make up your mind for you.

I respect my friends too much to call them and go visit even with distancing. We have discussed this and none of us want to find out later that there was even the smallest possibility that we caused damage or death to each other. There are too many ways to pass the virus that most people do not think about. Perhaps in the spring or summer when doors do not have to be opened and people can sit outside we may get together again but if small pieces of pesticide blowing in the wind will kill most of the plants in a small field which most of us have seen or had done to our plants we will pass on seeing each other in person. Think of the virus as the pesticide.

I can think of a couple of times where I've appeared overly approachable....one when I was on crutches. I was surprised how many people approached me or did helpful things like grabbing a heavy door, helping with my groceries at the back of my car, even asking if I was doing OK on an escalator.

But another day comes to mind when I'd been on a garden tour in what had turned into a Spring storm. Trying to make my drive and day count, I'd stopped at a large full service nursery (or two, or three) after - still in my raingear and hat. I explained a half dozen times to people who approached me that I didn't work there ;0)

I don't get the life stories but for some reason I get a lot of questions when I am grocery shopping, everything from "How do you cook that? to "What is that, how do you use it and do you have a recipe?" Same happens when I am plant shopping, different questions but same idea.

On the flipside I can start a conversation with almost anyone. I always start with a question pertinent to something I observed about the person for example, "I love your boots, where did you purchase them?" If I get a one word answer I move on. If the person feels like chatting for a minute or two that is perfect. It birghtens both our days and takes very little effort.

Not all the time but I‘m with Susieque and those who say they like it. Granted, once in a while I run into a wacko who goes on for too long about something I really don’t feel like hearing about, and then the phone is a great distraction - “sorry I just got a text I have to deal with.”

I‘ll start talking to strangers once in a while. I’m careful about how I do it though, it’s always kind of over my shoulder so-as not to appear like I’m about to hold them up. From there I can gauge their reaction. For example I was recently walking down an aisle in Costco and saw two women inspecting a bottle of avocado oil. Mid-walk I said, ”good for high heat and it’s healthy.” They seemed interested and asked me a few questions so I did stop and talked. Same thing if I start up small talk on a grocery store line. I’ll generally just glance up from my phone when I make the comment. They might smile and be done with it, or it may lead to a conversation. I’m good either way.

Talking with people is nice. Even strangers. We come here and ask each other what we ate for breakfast or what we think of elastic jeans. Like who cares, really? But it’s nice to chat small talk once in a while. Why not in real life while we’re at it?

Read your audience though. If they don’t seem interested, take a hint.

At our Verizon store a person has to wait outside the door until someone leaves and then a clerk comes to let you in. I was waiting behind a masked man of a different race for several minutes. We had the nicest conversation, and I do not even remember who spoke first. Seems so natural for where I live and shop.

"...of a different race..."

Not sure how that adds to the story.

Years ago while at a grocery market in a college town, I was walking past a couple of male students holding boxes of instant mac and cheese. I quipped “always an excellent choice,” and we all cracked up as they tossed them into their carts. I am part introvert, but brief exchanges can be fun.

Also while shopping (pre Covid), I’ll reach for something for a frail looking person, take my food and sweep a dropped item out of the path and under the cove of an aisle so no one will trip over it.

Usually I’m moving right along, only rarely does anyone approach me to ask a question or chat. But, pre-Covid, I’d go to stores when they were not busy. I don’t care for crowded situations. Nowadays, I pretty much don’t go to any stores. I prefer to shop at Brick & Mortar, not online, so, good thing you can’t see what I’m wearing.

suzieque Race does not matter to me, but it does to some people. We were discussing being approachable in a public place in different circumstances.

I normally don’t seek out conversation but people approach me. Sometimes people tell me very personal stuff. If I mention later to one of my daughters ( in their 20’s) they ask how did that even come up? LOL