Thanks to all. Yes, Patricia, I'm taking in all the suggestions. It's hard sometimes to be objective about things that we live with and have grown attached to. When we bought the house 6 years ago, one of the things we loved about the property were the unique fences and gates. But it IS a tiny front yard and does feel cramped to me with the fence there. So maybe it's time to start the conversation about removing it. Anything we do, staining or painting, will be a maintenance issue. We had a white painted picket fence on our last property and swore we'd never do it again. Regarding the tree: Many of the plants, including the arbutus tree in the front yard, were planted long ago and have grown too big for the space. The tree probably never should have been planted in that space, but it's there now, and it's beautiful and it is thriving. If it starts to cause structural issues, we'll look at removal, but I think for now we will appreciate it's beautiful unique bark, the screen it provides from our living room window, the shade, the hummingbirds and butterflies it attracts..... Thanks again to everyone for taking the time to give your input.

While I realize this thought won't help you in this situation, perhaps it might be useful for others. There are a few categories of painters who advertise for business such as high end painters who charge more than most others, are choosy about their projects and have the results to justify their prices. This seems like the desired person for this poster. Large companies, perhaps franchises,  also advertise widely, use sales people to do bids and talk up the company, and will hire nearly any painter willing to work for them and deal with their high turnover.  Those firms may give you good results but you won't see the same person who made the promises showing up to run the job and you won't get a great price or great quality.  Small painters who advertise are new to the local market or aren't having enough successful projects to generate referrals and repeat customers. The best midrange painters don't advertise because they have all the business they wish with referrals and repeat customers.  If you need a referral when you are new in town, stop at a real paint store and chat with the staff. They will have a batch of business card and might select a couple for you when you tell them the type of project you have. Otherwise ask your friends and neighbors with similar tastes and personalities. If your friend has a flexible schedule and you don't, be sure her painter doen't have a maybe tomorrow, maybe next week approach.  My partner started helping with his dad's painters when he was a kid and has been painting between other pursuits for 40 years.  He has never advertised or been without work for many years. I met him when he was working for a friend at her new house.  He had painted the exterior for the previous owner who passed on the name. That guy had gotten the name from another neighbor. A few years ago our real estate agent introduced him to a couple needing some work before listing which has led to months of work for friends and neighbors and children and many repeat projects.

Bumping this, as I see it wasn't answered. What did you end up with? What is it now? SW Alabaster seems to be a good choice but I'd love to see pros weigh in on the other choices. I notice that the ongoing chats "church pew" and "10 years later..." seem to get bumped up so much newer questions are hard to find.

That is going to quickly show a lot of wear and tear. I would do a color similar to the background in your epoxy and the treads. Paint it all the same color in semi-gloss for easy cleaning.