OK...I am a man and I just don't know.
jim_1 (Zone 5B)
3 years ago
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gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
3 years agomaddielee
3 years agoRelated Discussions
I don't know if I am a cottage gardner
Comments (13)Sounds to me like you are definitely a cottage gardener. My feeling is that being a cottage gardener is as much a state of mind as the actual gardens. Our gardens reflect ourselves and the plants we can grow in our areas. Slightly disorganized, plants for birds and butterflies and a few simple hardscaping like a birdbath and seating area all add to the vision of a cottage garden. The thread posted is a very good one. The bottom line is don't let anyone dictate what you NEED in order to be a cottage gardener and have fun :) ..... Lynne...See MoreI don't know what to do with a Hoya that I am getting and it
Comments (7)It will be a carnosa, no doubt. Susan, your Hoya is tolerant of low light conditions. That is to say, it will not die in your vampire abode. However, it will stop blooming, because it does very much prefer high light conditions. You basically have two options. You can either give it the best light you've got, sticking it RIGHT up against the window, and be content with its pretty leaves, or you can get some kind of grow light to supplement what you have naturally available. Other general care instructions are that carnosa likes to dry out between waterings. You'll want to water it until the water runs out the bottom, whenever you can stick your finger in a couple inches and it feels dry. It's best to err on the side of watering it too little than too much. It is a myth that Hoyas do not like to be fertilized and prefer to be neglected. The common species are just tough, so in other words, do feed it. ^_^ When you repot it, which should be done periodically when the soil is draining too fast or the plant just seems less enthusiastic than usual, try to use a chunky mix. Most people here use a blend of peat, bark, and perlite. You're so very lucky to have inherited a beautiful heirloom plant. It is not a difficult Hoya to grow, so relax and experiment and I'm sure you two will be bonded in no time....See MoreDon't know why I am so very sad
Comments (5)Thanks for your response, Sweeby. That is a very interesting point about whether the relationship was good or not. Generally, I think you are right about that. Odd, one would think the better relationship would be more sorrowfully mourned. But one also mourns the lost opportunities. No, there is no unfinished business. I did everything I could have done to try to save that marriage. And I negotiated with him much longer than I had to in order to arrange issues with the children. There is nothing more I could have done. He has gone on with his life and so have I. As it turns out, he is o.k. There was surgery which showed that there was no malignancy after all. The growths on his spine were removed and with therapy he should recover. I am glad about that. But I am puzzled by how emotional my sadness felt. My relief doesn't feel that way at all. There are just a lot of practical reasons that it's good he will still be around. It is very strange not to understand why I feel the way I do. I'm just glad the crisis is over....See MoreSometimes I just don't know...
Comments (7)Definitely, back into counseling for this little guy. He's got so much to deal with and needs to learn effective coping strategies to replace the ones he's using now. One specific suggestion for the mean outbursts: Help him phrase his statements/requests/complaints in ways that are more positive and less hurtful. If he mutters "Move your fat butt!" respond "That didn't come out right. Please try it again using nice words and a nice voice." (Adjust to your child's age and understanding.) The key is to keep it short, NOT negative (he's already in a foul mood), but get him to express himself in ways that are socially acceptable. Help him find the words to say what he means, but in ways that are kind and polite. If he actually says the words (with proper inflection), it'll make a big, big difference. It's really hard to stay angry when your tone of voice has to be pleasant. The first few times, you may need to add explanations like "Your words and tone of voice were rude and hurtful. When you're asking someone to do something for you, you need to ask nicely" - but not for long. If SS sees you and Dad speaking kindly and respectfully to each other, he will know what's acceptable. He'll just need to be reminded that it applies to him also. When he rephrases his request nicely, praise him. If it's only marginally acceptable or still rude, have him try it again. Seriously! It'll get boring and ridiculous fast, but so what? The idea is for the kid to learn that if he asks nicely, he gets what he wants. If he's rude, he doesn't, and he has to try again (over and over) until he does ask nicely. (My kids are rarely rude to me anymore because it's just such a pain in the behind for them if they are.)...See Morenickel_kg
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