roarah - thanks for that link - interesting perspective. I also read another article about B&N transformation. It's a fascinating dilemma when a company has to cannibalize itself to survive - e-readers vs. print, printed checks vs. debit card, CDs vs. iTunes, etc. I'm actually part of a company that has been going through this. I work for what was a technology start-up that got acquired by a 100+ year old publisher. It's fascinating to be in the middle of the transformation.

Chiming in to say 1) probably yes because you are female (not necessarily just because you are young) 2) we have a problem in our society in general of poor workmanship and lack of ethics as well Advice: 1) do a lot of research before getting your bids and signing a contract--this site has been very helpful to me, as well as asking neighbors, co-workers, checking with the BBB, doing a google search, etc. 2)Get a good digital camera and take pictures of the entire process-before during and after, and make sure that they know you are documenting. Also document your conversations. Half of these workmen won't blink an eye at lying about what happened, what was done etc. They convince themselves that they are justified in some way. 3) Make sure that you know multiple ways to contact the contractor--phone, email, etc, so you can get around the "I didn't get your message" excuse. 4) If you can have a male around at the time of signing the contract or even the estimate do so. They don't have to be related, just just need to appear like they know something and have an interest in the situation 5) when or if you do have to dispute something, remember that thanks to your documentation and contract, you control the situation and the paycheck (you haven't paid them until you are satisfied, right?) and don't have to put up with it. Continue to state with a friendly-to-neutral voice and demeanor what needs to be fixed and why, and DON'T let the contractor distract you with red herrings (like "I shouldn't have to fix this hole in the wall because you changed the paint color") and excuses ("Grandma was sick") Remember, you don't need them to LIKE you, and they don't care if you like them. About the cabinets: I hope you have some sort of warranty. I would be asking for a refund and opening a complaint with the BBB.

pluckymama - thank you! That's so sweet to say, and I always feel I am coming up short compared to others homes and decorating! The tableset and stools are manufactured by "Lorts" and I purchased it from Lexfurniture.com in KY. I first read about them from this website, and I saved $1000's! Lorts didn't have a catalog online, but I found a website that showed all there products. (BeachlersFurniture.com ) However, a local store did carry many of their pieces as well as all the color samples that they do, so I was able to see, feel and decide locally. It's a dark day here in sunny FL and my already dark house is pretty dark. There is a lot of wood - but I am getting use to the set and liking it much better! Definitely the leaf helped.. so I think it's a keeper and we'll remove the leaf on Friday night card games! ( I play with my parents!)

I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to this board. I thought I would get an email or something telling me that there were replies, so I didn't think anyone had! Thank you both for your insight. I do think what you are both saying is right on the money, except for the jealousy thing. BM uses my SD's bad behavior as way to get more attention. The more she promotes the bad behavior, the more attention BM gets from outsiders. Why are the children with BM? That's a good question. My husband and I have taken our complaints and observations to my SD's counselor (when she was in counseling for a short time). We were told nothing. The counselor took the pages and pages of log I had written documenting the BM's behavior and basically took it under advisement. I have also taken this information to the local Social Services, and gotten no where. They couldn't prove it (the car incidents) and the rest was hearsay. So they could do nothing. Without that behind us, there is no way we would win custody in court, especially in the conservative state we live in. We resolved to be involved in every aspect of their schooling and medical health, as is allowed to my husband by divorce decree, and to me by him. Because if we couldn't control what went on at the mother's house, at least we could make sure that we would be involved with whatever happened at school and the doctor. That way, if we believed that incidents and behaviors that happen there were caused by BM's behavior, we could mention it and have it documented to use in court later if need be. Yes, we did talk to SD about her behavior at Christmas. There is no way something like that would be ignored here. As for discipline, she has gotten some spankings, I guess maybe twice in the last year. Mostly she gets time-outs or stands in the corner for 10 minutes or so. But I think the whole weekend is like a time-out for her because the other kids won't play with her. We bought her activity books, art supplies, reading books, etc, but I know she gets bored with all that and really just wants to play. But she's so unpleasant to be around, the other kids will play with her (because I make them give her a chance) for about 20 minutes and end up telling her to go do something else because she's making them angry. I feel bad for her because I know she has to be lonely, but I can't spend every minute entertaining her either. My husband and I play some board games with her, and we take the dog for walks and such, but then she's like a "cling-on" and we can't get her to go do something else. I'm sorry this is so long, and I hope I don't sound whiny. I'm just frustrated. It's gotten better than when I first posted, because I've had to say that if her behavior gets out of control, she has to go back to her mothers before the boys. I know that's mean, but she had my daughter (who is 12) so upset by the things she was saying, my daughter was literally crumpled up on the floor crying and telling me she had to get SD away from her. That was the final straw. I have guilt, of course, because that just means that SD goes back to spend more time with BM, but I also know that all of this is not fair to me or the other kids either. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Thank you again for all your input. I do appreciate it.