That's frustrating!!! We just LIVE all winter for the summer time. We plan, we dream, we worry, etc. Poor you!! At least your mole wasn't cancerous. But I understand - I would hate that too! Actually we'll be moving in about a month. So I'll get a month cut off from a garden, and then it will be winter. It might be years before I get a garden as nice as I have now. "Normal" people :) don't understand at all how upsetting being away from our roses/gardens can be. But we all get that here - so hang in there! :) Carol

I think there are several different points here. First, I think everyone concurs that you did the right thing in both reporting him and testifying against him, and we applaud you for your courage in doing so -- hopefully any one of us would do the same thing, if we were in your shoes. Second, I don't necessarily think this is an inappropriate place to bemoan the sudden and unexplained loss of a garden, seeking emotional support from other gardeners -- and hopefully, some ideas as to possible causes and/or solutions. It seems to me that there have been other similar posts, accompanied by sad pictures of barren ground...and no one complained about those. The third point is the problem, for me and I think perhaps for some others: I think it's a HUGE leap of logic to conclude that the damage to the garden was a result of "sabotage" by your neighbor. It may have been his handiwork, but with no proof of either the cause of the plant loss OR a connection -- even if the source was determined to be, say, a heavy application of Roundup -- to your erstwhile jerk/neighbor, I think it is unfair to state as a fact that he was the cause. He MAY have been -- but it could have resulted from any number of other causes as well. Could there be a long-forgotten oil tank sitting under the garden that suddenly popped a seam? Drainage/seepage from a spill elsewhere? A blight (natural)? Infestation of the soil? Without having your soil and/or the dead plants tested, you won't know. If a soil test shows a heavy concentration of mercury, for instance... and this guy worked in a lab with mercury ... then your "leap of logic" gets a little closer to "circumstantial evidence" ... but it still isn't necessarily proof of anything. As any good lawyer will point out...! So bemoan the loss of your plants -- you will get plenty of sympathy and perhaps some good suggestions and other ideas of possible causes from the gardeners here. But while your neighbor sounds like a penultimate SOB, that doesn't, as George says, make him a plant killer, too. So while I can relate to the urge you are feeling to blame him (and I'm sure the logic seems obvious to you!), please do consider other possible causes. As a gardener myself, my very FIRST step would be to find out WHAT killed them... something in the soil (what?? get a soil analysis, including chemical testing), something in or on the plants (what??), nearby contaminants (streams, a factory, etc.) So my personal take is that there is nothing inherently wrong in your post, if you are seeking sympathetic ears for a traumatic gardening experience and (hopefully) seeking advice as to possible solutions ... the problem (for me) is the unsupported allegation against someone in this, a land where innocence is still presumed until guilt it proven. Just speaking for myself...

Deb, I know how hard it is for you. I had the same feeling on the 4th. I was super busy with my business so that did help some....but I just wanted to go back to being 10 years old again...holding a sparkler...being with my mom and family, friends and neighbors. Barbequing and laughter. Kids playing ball and looking forward to the fireworks. Yes, it's different now. It never will be the same again. Only memories, which are comforting on the one hand and painful at the same time. Knowing times will never be what they were. Just know your mom is in heaven and it is wonderful. She doesn't want you to be sad. You will be together again when the time is at hand. She is in a land of joy and light with immeasurable happiness. Try to remember that and be happy for her, even when you must feel bad for yourself stuck on this rock called Earth. Duane

It can be difficult as we grow up to change patterns of how we have always interacted with our parents...and some of us get to a point when we recognize that old patterns need to be changed, because we realize that a parent does not seem to respect us, or respect the way we are doing things. We find that they may treat other family members (less deserving with more respect) even though that person has their own issues. And so, we begin to understand that changes need to occur, so that they begin to see us as an adult, and respect us. Read what you can find, or better yet, find books on DVD as you drive in the car. Make this a year that you grow and evolve. Ask for suggestions with a counselor on communicating as a grown up with your parents, instead of still being the little girl needing their help and advice all the time. I find myself falling into old patterns too, and I am working on it. Perhaps this is your time of personal growth. Perhaps now that you are in your 40's it is a time in life for you to begin to grow into the woman you are meant to be. You may try talking to them, and telling them that their negativity and lack of confidence in your decisions has reached a point where it needs to change. That they need to see you as the adult woman, wife and mother that you are. That you know that they are concerned, but that they need to work "hard" on putting a "POSITIVE" spin on their words, because it is necessary for your emotional well being...so that you can parent your children from a healthy state of mind, and not a discouraged, or angry, or upset state of mind. And that you need them to work on this, and that you are going to call them on it their behavior if they don't. Sometimes, parents too fall into old patterns of behavior, and may not even realize how they sound, or the effect of their tone, or words. Or their general attitude may need re adjusted to a much more positive one. Its a new year...a good time for fresh new changes for everyone!