To add to my above comment my husband learned to fry/grill two slices of bread in a little oil or butter until brown. Place cheese between the browned sides the fry/grill both sides until brown. Sometimes he would allow the slices he browned first to cool if the cheese was something like an American cheese. We always used whatever cheese we had on hand but some people like only certain types.

I deleted this comment because it showed as being posted twice. This is the one I was referring to in my To add to.

A lot depends on your definition of both of those. I have had grilled fixed on a griddle or in a frying pan but have also had them fixed on a real grill outside. Toasted could also mean cooked over an open flame but could also be two pieces of bread hot from a toaster with cheese placed between and allowed to melt. Back in the day there used to be a wire or pierced metal basket on a long handle that people would place cheese between to uncooked slices of bread then hold the basket over the flame of a stove.

I'm not sure what the differences between grilled and toasted are either, but I've had some variations.

Cheese between raw bread that is buttered on the outside and cooked in a pan or on a griddle, and a couple times from a grill. Yum.

A prep where the bread is buttered on both sides and one side toasted up and then is the inside of the sandwich, so both sides of the bread are grilled. Solid cheese or a smear. Yum.

Toasted in the oven, where it's open faced. Mom made them with a slice of tomato, onion, and sometimes bacon. Yum.

Toasted cheese where the cheese is pan cooked and also the bread, then the toasted cheese gets put on the toasted bread. Can be yum, but the toaster+microwave is not good.

Pressed versions, where the outsides are buttered, cheese inside, and the heat application and pressure are applied on both sides at once.

In the toaster with one of those special pockets. Nope. Ironing board grilled cheese can work, but pass.

In a toaster grilled cheese maker. Kind of fun. It's a toaster, with little racks to put a pair of sandwiches in.

And open flame basket toasting, tasty around a campfire.

Neither one for me as I don't eat any kind of cheese.

I have always considered toasted cheese to be openfaced cheese on a piece of toast. The cheese itself toasts to a bubbly golden brown that is particularly nice. DH makes grilled cheese on a cast iron griddle. He does it to perfection so I let him make it when we have grilled cheese.

I do the same seagrass, but think of it as a toasted cheese sandwich. Grilled to me, is what they call the same thing in a restaurant because it is done on a big metal grill pan rather than a home size skillet.

I have not tried toasting, does toasting melt the cheese?

What kind of cheese do you use ?, I like cheddar,

Must be grilled with buttered bread. Some use Mayo instead of butter, I tried it and did not care for that.

We always called them toasted cheese sandwiches. They were cooked in a frying pan (cast iron skillet). Bread buttered on the outside, only cheese in the middle, cooked long enough for the bread to get toasty brown and the cheese melted. My mom always put a heavy plate on top to press them down and hold in the heat. I never heard them called grilled cheese sandwiches because no one had a grill. Well, we did, in the center of our kitchen stovetop, but it wasn't used to cook cheese sandwiches.

My toasted cheese sandwiches are fixed in my big toaster oven. Both sides are buttered a slice of cheese in the middle, the toaster oven is put on toast and set for the amount of time, very good, not overly greasy. Grilled to me is in a pan with butter to cook it. There is no turning of the toast while toasting. It is also good to fix cinnamon toast but just have the cinnamon sugar and butter mix on one side of the bread, both sides get nice and toasted.

Sue

Childhood ditto in part to what olychick said - a sandwich, bread buttered on the outside, cheese in the middle, done in a cast iron pan. But my mother called it a grilled cheese sandwich. I haven't had one in a very long time.

In France and adjacent places, there's something somewhat similar called a Croque Monsieur, literal translation approximates "(a) bite for the gentleman". Two slices of bread buttered on the outside, with sliced ham and gruyere cheese on the inside. Then cooked on a grill or in a skillet, no extra oil added. The cheese melts from the cooking. It's casual, cafe or bistro fare. Very tasty.

Grilled for me, but when I was a kid my Mom melted the cheese in a pan then spread it on bread, it may have been toasted I can't remember. it was good though.

I like them both ways.

Ah, making it a toaster oven - never tried that.

In culinary terms, grilling does not have to be done outdoors nor on a pan with raised ridges. "Foods termed "grilled" may actually be prepared on a hot griddle or flat pan. The griddle or pan may be prepared with oil (or butter), and the food is cooked quickly over a high heat."

That is the way I fix grilled cheese - not toasted cheese. In my cast iron skillet with the outside bread buttered. Now and again I will fix a toasted cheese slice - one slice of bread topped with cheese and placed under the broiler until the cheese is melted and the edge of the bread browns.

btw, grilled cheese in the UK are known as 'toasties'.

joann's comment reminded me that I have a package of goat cheese that appears to be slightly caramelized on both sides. The name on the package is "baked cheese". I purchased it in Pella, Iowa and instructions say you place in a skillet, heat, then the instructions mention spreading it on bread or potatoes.

Grilled in real butter.

Same as Kathsgrdn. Grilled in butter.

White bread, american cheese, fried in salty yummy buttah. I don't know if that is grilled or toasted. I just know its gooooooood.

Toasted (in a toaster), with cheddar, tomato slices and mayo. Preferably served with wavy Lays chips and a dill spear if available. Grilled cheese seems a bit greasy these days. I saw a 'recipe' a few years ago for making a grilled cheese in the oven and while that is a bit better, the bread gets quite crunchy, it still ends up more greasy than my mouth wants, toasted is the way I'd rather go.

I rarely have a plain ol' grilled cheese. I butter one side of two pieces of thick bread, then add a couple slices of deli ham, one slice each of American cheese and White American cheese and in season, a slice of fresh tomato. Fry or Grill (as we called it) slowly, so the cheese has plenty of time to melt. Yummy! If it's not tomato season, then a bowl of tomato soup is a MUST!

I prefer almost everything grilled but I'm not going to haul out the grill just for a piece of cheese toast and grilled to me actually means on a grill outside preferably with charcoal or wood but gas is okay

I like an occasional grilled cheese (buttered and fried in a pan) preferably with home made tomato soup.

More often I'll skip all the buttery calories and do a toasted cheese in the toaster oven (with additions of tomatoes, green onions, mushrooms etc.) Toasts the bread and melts the cheese at the same time! Done in my air fryer/toaster oven.

For those of you who toast your bread and cheese sandwiches in your toaster, how do you get the residual melted cheese out of the appliance?

For Elmer, a Croque Monsieur is topped with a béchamel cheese sauce which is browned under a broiler. Add a sunny side up egg and it's a Croque Madame.

We always called them grilled cheese sandwiches and they were made as Olychick and Elmer describe. I cook with butter in a cast iron pan. I think the term ‘grilled’ comes from the large flat grills used in a restaurant to cook almost everything short-order.

I have tried it in a toaster oven, open face, but it’s too messy to clean up when the cheese melts on the drip pan.

We call it grilled cheese and make it in the cast iron. I sometimes add sliced unpeeled apples in the middle with the cheese. Yum!

seagrass, I lived over there for several years. Rarely prepared with bechamel sauce in my experience. Normally seen, as I described, as being like a grilled cheese sandwich made with gruyere cheese and with sliced ham inside. Croque madames were much less popular and much less commonly seen.

Grilled cheese is very basic. Cheese between two slices of bread. grilled in butter.

Just like tomato soup is tomato soup. You can't start tossing in meat, potatoes and pasta and call it tomato soup. it becomes a tomato based soup.

But I know, these days everyone wants to say they can reinvent the wheel.

Processed American cheese or Velveeta is the standard. These days other cheese is often being used. But the norm is if you go to an American diner and order a grilled cheese you get American cheese on white bread browned in butter. If I offer you a grilled cheese you can expect the same. It's comfort food. Like a chili burger. Don't mess with it.

Meat and cheese sandwiches are melts.

Maybe it's regional but toasted cheese is an open faced slice of cheese on bread done under a broiler or in a toaster oven.

"Meat and cheese sandwiches are melts."

Not universally and not always, in my experience.

I like the butter-on-the-outside-fried sort but I also put them in a toaster but you need these https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=Toaster+bags&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

No, my sandwiches do not melt and drip down onto the bottom of my big toaster oven. I use American cheese and white bread, and I only keep butter in the house. They are put right on the rack of the oven. No flipping or anything since they are on the toast selection of the oven. Maybe if they were on broil or bake you would have to turn them, I don't know.

Sue

We call them grilled cheese even tho they are made in a skillet on the stove top. Two pieces of bread buttered on one side. First slice goes in skillet butter side down, then Velveeta, then 2nd slice of bread, butter side up. I do add sharp cheddar and other kinds of cheese now and then. DH, the meat eater lol, likes ham in his. I adore grilled cheese sandwiches, total, major comfort food. Served with just enough tomato soup to dip.

I grew up with open faced grilled cheese sandwiches usually on toasted English muffins. As a child we made them in the oven broiler. Now in the toaster oven. Never with American cheese. Rarely squishy white bread.

The more typical fried cheese sandwich was something we would have when we went out to eat.

Grilled in butter in a cast iron skillet.

I like grilled cheese with homemade tortilla soup ...

I butter both sides and then grill one side of each and flip the bread and place [havarti] cheese between the two grilled pieces, and then grill the outsides ...

As a small child, my niece ordered ”toasted cheese” in Italy, thinking she was going to get what we call a grilled cheese sandwich. She got melted cheese - no bread!

My mom called hers “toasted cheese” and they were made in the oven or a toaster oven. Bread buttered on the “in” side and thinly sliced rat cheese. No butter on the outside. Then it was toasted until the bread was golden and the cheese melted.

I make grilled cheese. Bread buttered on the “out” side and some sort of cheese, cooked in a cast iron skillet. I generally use Kraft Deli Deluxe slices because they at least have a nodding acquaintance with cheese. I’m with those above who don’t care for mayo on the outside of the bread. FWIW, Cooks Illustrated suggests that for best melting, the cheese should be grated instead of sliced. Obviously, they are excluding American cheese types of cheeses.

I had a neighbor once whose child misheard “grilled cheese.“ She asked for her favorite sandwich, a “real grease.” For me a “real grease” is the sandwich with both sides of the bread buttered and grilled with cheese in the middle.

What sort of cheeses do you use? I love to go to a bistro and see something on the menu like “5 Cheese Grilled Cheese Sandwich.” I’ll order it in a flash. But I have no idea how to duplicate it at home.

I grew up with grilled cheese, which was a cheese sandwich grilled in butter in a cast iron skillet. And that's how I make them now, except I'm pretty apt to use a variety of cheeses, and I never have plain white bread around, except back when I was baking sourdough bread. Which doesn't really classify as 'plain' white bread in my mind.

I usually use a combination of two different cheeses, which varies depending on what I have on hand. Sharp cheddar and Monterey Jack is a favorite combo. I also like to add a thin slice of sweet onion, and/or a thin slice of deli ham. Crispy fried bacon and a little horseradish is really good with cheddar cheese. I never heard of tomato in a grilled cheese until well into adulthood, some day I'm going to try it, but I'm not a big fan of tomatoes, unless they are vine ripened home grown. And that's pretty rare around here

Rusty!

Rusty, your tomato comment brought to mind a recipe in a cookbook I had as a child, Betty Crocker’s Cookbook for Boys and Girls. There was a recipe for Cheese Dreams, English muffins split with tomato, bacon, and “thinly sliced process cheese” on top, run under a broiler. I would beg Mom to make them or to let me make them. She never would. It may have been because we never ever had processed cheese or English muffins in the house or maybe it just didn’t appeal to her. The other night we had a couple of leftover slices of tomatoes from the farmers market. I made a Cheese Dream, sorta. it was actually a grilled cheese sandwich using shredded cheddar. Nevertheless, it was delish!!

Grilled cheese with butter on the outside, inside a little bit of mayo, cheese and thinly sliced onion. Served with homemade tomato soup. Have a really easy recipe from the 4 Bee's Restaurant, in Missoula, MT!

My grilled cheese has morphed over the years. I no longer use process cheese slices or regular sliced bread. I get the French bread with the topping flavors like garlic Parmesan or everything and slice it. I add whatever cheese we have on hand. Our favorite is sharp cheddar. Butter the outsides of the bread and put in a skillet. Cook until the bread is browned on both sides and the cheese is fully melted.

In my kitchen, toasted cheese and bread has one side of the bread toasted, then turned over and put the cheese on top and back under the broiler to toast the cheese on top. Don't just melt the cheese. Let it get a bit of real brown going on before it is ready. Or, if you like, you could toast the top of the bread before adding the cheese and putting It back under the heat, depending. I don't do that.

Grilling is done on a hot surface, a grill, and toasting is done under a broiler or in a toaster oven. Grilling and toasting are two quite different cooking processes.

Maybe it should be called Fried Cheese instead of Grilled. Butter melted and 2 pieces of bread sopping it up, turned over and shredded cheddar on it, slathered with orange marmalade, heated through. Sweet pickles on the side..

Orange marmalade.......that's a new one on me!! And something I doubt I'd care for. I'm pretty limited with the cheeses I use - I prefer processed (American) cheese on the grilled sammies and sharp cheddar for the toasted ones. And always on sourdough bread. Toasted ones usually get a splash of Worcestershire sauce before serving. And grilled ones will often have other items included....crisp bacon, sliced tomato, rare roast beef, sliced turkey or ham, grilled onions, tuna salad, etc.

Try a bit of the marmalade or strawberry jam on the side, then decide. My MIL liked a thick bit of mustard, my FIL liked his with mayo and tomato, my DH is a purist and wants just Velveeta.

Never thought of marmalade, but I’ve used chutney before, especially when I include a thin slice of ham.

I used to work at a local chi-chi organic market with spec ed students. When I was pretending not to watch them working, I would peruse the cookbook section.

There was a book with 150+ "grilled cheese" recipes! Yummmmm!

As long as the cheese melts and isn't burnt I'm good. But NO marmalade nor sweet pickles for this savory-seeking chick.

I've never tried mayo to cook them in, but I'm not about to open a jar to find out, to wait months for another recipe to use up the rest of an ingredient that mostly gets reserved for infrequent deviled eggs here.

@artemis_ma, IMHO you are not missing anything not using mayo to cook a grilled cheese. The one time I tried it, I thought it had a funky wang, not at all tasty. And now I think I’ll go boil some eggs for deviled eggs....YUM!

I've never made a grilled cheese sandwich, but I make quesadillas frequently and sometimes cheese tacos with corn tortillas. I always add chilies to these.

If I make a toasted cheese sandwich, I toast the bread and then make a sandwich with pimento cheese (made with cheddar only), but this is rare.

I frequently make Reuben sandwiches with homemade rye bread, homemade sauerkraut, and Swiss or Jarlsberg cheese. I tend to use Pastrami instead of corned beef, however. I also grill (in a cast iron skillet) a ham (or turkey) and Provolone cheese sandwich, but I more often make this with a flour tortilla and add mushrooms to it.

I do not buy American cheese and also do not buy mild Cheddar. I prefer cheese with more flavor, as a rule. There is something off-tasting to American cheese to me, but I have not had it since I was a child. I tend to buy Italian cheese more than anything else, and I make pizza style sandwiches and pizza quesadillas.