Smile today - 9/23

Annie Deighnaugh

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”. The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

The moral of the story?

If you’re going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.

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bragu_DSM 5

The world's SHORTEST poem ...


FLEAS

Adam had 'em


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Jasdip


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eld6161

Every morning DH shares a bit of his cereal with our dog. This morning

the little grand pup got into the act. I have to laugh at how she gets right

into the routine.


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HU-495495839


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Jasdip

Eld, great picture! What kind of dog is yours?

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jim_1 (Zone 9A)

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
No? Good!

What is the definition of a shame?
A busload of lawyers going off a cliff.

What is the definition of a crying shame?
An empty seat on the bus.

Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery.


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buccos4vr

Susanwv

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glenda_al


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Janie

Oh, Glenda, that's the best!

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blfenton

My sister sent me this one this morning


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eld6161

Jasdip, he is a rescue from my DD who now owns the Chihuahua mix from the same organization.

He is a pit mix. Not for the inexperienced., let me tell you. We had a Golden for 15 years. My next dog was supposed to be a lap dog. But......DD could not take care of him, working living in the city. He slowly started to spend more time with us and he totally bonded with DH. It is what it is.

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sjerin

Eld, can you tell me why it's difficult to have your dog?

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Rusty

Fall mechanics. . . . .

Rusty

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eld6161

Sjerin, he is reactive. When we committed to keeping him we tried three different training approaches. What I have learned with this dog is that you can’t train out certain tendencies.

He is protective by nature and reacts if he feels he or we are threatened.

It is his perception.

He can walk by a barking dog and not react, yet walk by a quiet dog and react, and visa versa!

We have to be diligent and careful always. I miss the interaction between other dog walkers.

There are many wonderful Pitt bull/ mixes out but unfortunately he is not one of them.

I alway explain things this way: We love him, but we don’t like him. We have him, but we don’t want him. (Tongue in cheek of course)

He is with us for 81/2 years.


Doing the best that we can😃

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liira55


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bragu_DSM 5

how many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?


three, if you grind them up real slow ...

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