I feel the same caflowerluver. Everything I watch can be streamed so it's easy to fast forward through sex scenes.

I see nothing wrong with your topic nor the comments in it.

I know the lines are blurred these days between what is this type of program source and what is that type. The broad sources - Netflix, HBO, Amazon, etc - provide current and not so current programs and films of all types and ratings. There are all kinds of movies I don't want to watch and they may be the very kind you DO want to watch. And vice versa. All should be available for people to choose from.

Those wanting to limit what's on their screens to G or PG rated material can check before starting a movie, the information is available. If what I want to watch is lurid movies with consistently blatant sexual content (not that I do, just a hypothetical), I should be able to do that without it bothering you. You should be able to access the same sources I do and choose what you want that may be what I dislike. Similarly, that doesn't bother me.

If one of us finds ourselves in the middle of a program with subject matter or content we prefer not to see, then it's our own fault for not choosing carefully. We can put on something else. No?

I haven't noticed it on TV shows or even in movies, for that matter.

I do think that graphic sex scenes appeal to men more than to women, however, because men are more visually oriented; i.e., men are more likely to be aroused by visuals than women, whereas women respond more by emotional portrayals. This why women do not understand the attraction to porno by men. Men may also not understand the attraction to the portrayals of emotional scenes by women. Of course this is a broad generalization, but I think it is based in biological facts about gender, particularly when it comes to sexual arousal. (I learned this in a psychology class.) Men get more easily aroused by photos, which is why there are so many magazines (or were) that are meant to appeal to men and not that many for women.

You may consider this a hot topic, but I don't think it belongs on Hot Topics.

Often there are multiple versions of movies released, so that they can get different ratings, and sometimes (especially in the past), movies were censored so that only a PG version could get released, especially back in the 50s, 60s, and early 70s and before.

It depends what is considered graphic. My in-laws thought the beach scene from “From Here To Eternity” should never have been allowed to be shown.

I don’t find most broadcast TV graphic. All holds are off when it comes to premium Cable and some streaming programming.

If it is listed as such in your Title, then people who aren't interested should

just scroll on by. Of course, the "Forum Police" will probably want to tell

us that it isn't proper to read it. Are there certain "words" that are not allowed here written somewhere in the "how to's" of this forum? I have never seen a list, but what do I know. I was told not to use "Saint Francis" here. ;) Good

luck.

I'm with caflower. Such scenes often do not advance the plot not add to character development. And it's fine for some. DH and DS continued with GoT when I dropped out after the 3rd or 4th episode. (Although, I suppose the scenes I found objectionable did hammer home the despicable nature of the characters.)

It doesn't bother me that someone doesn't mind those. We all have our likes and dislikes.

I agree, Caflower.

Call me a prude but I have never understood how nudity is essential to the plot line.

It's not an inappropriate topic for KT. Regular TV shows don't bother me but some movies on Netflix are a little risque. They also don't bother me because I'm watching alone or with my husband. I'd feel differently if I was watching with other family members even my son who's an adult. I have to laugh that smoking is one of the 'warnings' along with language and sex scenes. Remember when everyone smoked in every movie?

We all have our likes and dislikes, it's what makes the world go around. :)

I don't enjoy watching really graphic violence for entertainment purposes. I never have. So as far as movies or cable TV shows go, that eliminates a whole lot of them.

My standard line (half joking, half not!) is that I find real life sufficiently horrifying, so I don't need to see it "for fun" in a movie. Yet I know lots of people who enjoy being scared, or watching things like GoT. It's not fun for me, but who am I to judge what others find entertaining.

What I have noticed is that shows earlier in the day are getting more "sexy". Days of our lives for example has more and more make out sessions, in bed, little to no clothes, pretty much every day there are some heavy scenes. They are losing many of the long time actors, some quitting some end of contract. It used to be that early in the day was kept mild since a lot of kids were watching at that time of day.

I think they are using sex scenes to stretch out the show and have less filming other scenes using more actors. It definitely does not add anything to the content. It just gets boring. I expect that in movies or other shows later at night. I am not terribly bothered by it, I can fast forward through it.

Agree with caflowerluver. Totally unnecessary.

Not much interested in what 'other people' do for sexual gratification. LOL

I agree with Lars about the gender difference. I fail to understand why females don't understand this, regarding the reason they shouldn't dress provocatively if they don't want the sexual attention of males.

For the sake of discussion and not to give anyone the wrong impression of me and what attitudes I have, I'm going to focus on some tendencies that I believe are more common with females than with males to illustrate my point of view.

Consider those having an interest in any of the following:

- Romance novels

- Soap operas

- Gossipy chit-chat about a real person's conduct, infidelity, or other social/moral transgressions

- Nosy curiosity about the conduct of a family member or friend, that falls into "none of your business" territory.

To me, all of these are examples of some form of escapism or voyeurism or a desire for self-exhibitionism or just plain envy, that could be characterized by someone disapproving as vile and tasteless.

People pick their preferred form of encountering purience, whether it's photos, videos, or words and stories. You can't say "My preference is okay, yours is disgusting."

None of what is listed interests me at all, I find them all to be a disgusting waste of time. I avoid them. I'm sure many of you don't. Nudity and sex scenes will never get me to watch a movie but I don't care if it's in or not. We all should be able to choose.

I really don't care one way or the other - nudity, sex scenes, blood and gore, profanity are all acceptable in my book if they enhance the plot or story line. They occur in real life....why can't they occur in TV or the movies? US broadcasting - even the cable channels - is very tame compared the primarily European based shows I tend to stream. They have been doing this - and to a much greater degree - for years.

IMO, we tend to be a nation of prudes :-)

I think there has been a definite easing of restrictions on what can be broadcast and cable channels have always had less restrictions. Like others, I carefully choose what I watch. It is frustrating, though, that there are fewer and fewer series of any interest that aren't full of violence and sex.

Caflowerluver, I agree. Most of it is gratuitous and does not advance the plot in any way. And it gets tedious.

Chisue, I agree with you as well. I had a friend who loved to wear low-cut shirts and complained loudly when men’s eyes would stray.

<I had a friend who loved to wear low-cut shirts and complained loudly when men’s eyes would stray. > She might complain more if she were ignored.

Even gay men will stare at a woman's cleavage, if she puts it on display - I think that men are hard-wired that way and respond strongly to visual cues. I don't think that women respond to visual cues as strongly or in the same way. I personally do not like it when female newscasters wear low-cut blouses or dresses - it just does not seem professional to me, and I do not see male newscasters dressing that way - most are wearing ties, which I think goes to the opposite extreme.

I am most offended by blood, guts, and violence in movies, and the accompanying noise, especially in Sci-Fi movies, which I used to like. I think the more restrained sci-fi movies of the 50s, 60s, and 70s were more entertaining, but then I am not attracted by action movies. I also do not watch sports, especially football, for the same reason - violence and the noise of the crowd, not to mention the obnoxious sportscasters. I would watch an action movie before I would watch a football game, however.

I can understand the use of sex in a TV show or movie if it is important to the plot or characters development or if it is a Romance type show. I don't find that type very interesting and avoid them. I can barely tolerate Rom Coms. The only soap opera I ever watched was Dark Shadows.

The genres I like are Science Fiction, if done well, Fantasy like Lord of the Rings, Horror unless it is too gory or violent, prefer old fashion ghost stories not 80's slasher movies, Thrillers, Mysteries, Action, Dramas, and even some Westerns. I find Romances boring.

I don't know if it is a men vs women thing in regards to sex. I have know men who really weren't that into graphic sex scenes and some women who really got into it. I think it is more of an individual thing.

When I was a teenager in high school, my grandparents used to visit every year. One night Grandma decided to stay up to watch tv with me. It was "I Claudius" on PBS ... the episode that highlighted Caligula's depravity. Oh my, we were both so embarrassed we sat there stone faced until the credits rolled! Then we said good night and never spoke of it again. LOL!

Current day -- I don't consider myself a prude -- by all means freak out if that's what you're into, it doesn't bother me and it's not my business -- but I am impatient. If I'm investing my time watching a program, scenes need to tell me something I don't know about the characters, and/ or advance the plot. And turn up the lights already! if there's any complaint I have about modern film it's that the set is too dark and moody. That's fine but I can't see what's going on!

Nickel, funny story: my mother and I went to see Coalminer’s Daughter one afternoon at the movie theater. Afterward, she told me that she thought the first part of the movie was so well done, the lack of electric light in their cabin made it so dark it was hard to see. Then she’d realized that she still had her sunglasses on from being outside. At least she realized it so she could actually see the rest of the movie!

I had to take a break from The Sopranos for a couple of seasons, when one episode dropped the F bomb sooooo many times. I still have a thing about that, if there are too many in the first several minutes, I change to something else.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve been watching When Calls the Heart, and it’s pretty saccharine. Maybe a little emotion would help...

I don't like swearing in movies or TV shows. In that regard, I prefer the language used in movies from the 1930s.

I just have regular old tv so I don't notice it. I watch comedies and documentaries for the most part and old black and white movies. I can't watch horror movies. The old movie with Vincent Price, House of Wax is even too much for me haha. I think the most sex I see are the innuendos on Two and Half Men and they are funny most of the time. I am not a prude by any means but I just haven't noticed it on the tv I watch. Why would this be a "hot topic"

I had to take a break from The Sopranos for a couple of seasons, when one episode dropped the F bomb sooooo many times.

There's a famous scene in The Wire (the best thing that's ever been on TV, IMO), where two characters use only the F word to convey a variety of emotions. I would post it here, but I don't want to scandalize anyone. :-)

"we tend to be a nation of prudes"

This is so very, very true and so true in many different ways. Media of all kinds, including entertainment and advertising, is so much more interesting in Europe, which I attribute to their not having the disproportional influence of people with unhealthy attitudes about their bodies and real life, and far fewer religious extremists than we have.

I find the term "F-bomb" annoying and have to wonder what kind of environments people have lived in to find the use of swear words to be disturbing. I'm not talking about hearing people who carry on like outlaw bikers or drunken sailors but the use in speech here and there by normal people for emphasis and emotion. If Americans had more normal and relaxed attitudes about such things, you'd hear it less in movies.

Agree with caflowerluver. Totally unnecessary.

I agree. I'm careful about what I watch and I don't watch much on regular tv anymore. sex, filthy language and blood and gore. I quit watching Criminal Minds because it just got too gross. from season to season they just had to outdo the criminals from the prev season I guess. and then they wonder why this stuff shows up IRL! the F word starts and I change the channel. mostly lately I watch old westerns.

Okay, I know I may be a little off here, but sex in sci fi? If we are talking about sex with aliens, I have a problem with that. They may look human, but maybe they are not. Anyone remember V? They could be...reptiles. There. I said it. Other stuff doesn't bother me. Sex with aliens is...bestiality. On our part or theirs, not so sure, but there it is. Foul language... F-bomb...do you just have no other words to use to express yourself? Is it an educational problem?

I do not remember ever seeing sex in sci-fi movies (except for Flesh Gordon), but I have had recurring nightmares in which aliens from outer space visit me and try to have sex with me. The most disturbing one is when green lizard women surround me and try to seduce me. Fortunately in these nightmares I am able to fight them off. The aliens never visit me alone - they are always in groups and are trying to have an orgy with me. These dreams are extremely vivid, but for some reason I do not wake up when they are happening, although I do remember them in great detail. I've written several of them down in my diaries.

I took a screen-writing class in Hollywood at Fairfax and Sunset (circa 1992) in which I pitched some of these dreams as possible movie plots, but my teacher said that my descriptions were too far from mainstream to get backing, and so I did not pursue them. Maybe today they would not be.

Elmer, the term you find annoying I think would get caught by the houzz filters. And its occasional use is tolerable, but The Sopranos to it to be heights. 8 times in every sentence as adverb, adjective, ejaculation, noun, verb, for several sentences in a row, does show the versatility of the word, but it got old.

There's an old Laugh-In sketch with Arte and Ruth where they have an entire story using just the word "oh". Works great as a sketch, not for an entire episode.

You're probably right Lars - now those nightmares could become a recurring TV series these days.

I can't watch horror, never could and sometimes I still have nightmares from movies or shows that I watched when I was young. It's odd though because The Godfather, a shoot 'em up western or other high body count shows like GOT didn't disturb me as long as it wasn't a torture scene or the worst - a woman being stalked or held captive. It must be the long drawn-out nature of those scenes that scare me. I can't watch Criminal Minds and I finally gave up on The Vikings because of the torture scenes.

Lars, you need to approach Channel 4 in the U.K. I feel there’s definitely a gap in the market for Lascivious Lizard Ladies today, and something like that would go down a treat.

The U.K.s so awash with ways of expressing our frustration in swear words there are awards for it, and we’ve won it 16 times.

Is it an educational issue? Could be, although Stephen Fry’s brain contains more education than most and he’s a huge advocate. It has even been said it’s a sign of intelligence, and there are an abundance of on line articles to support that.

I treat swearing and sex in a similar way, if it fits the narrative it’s fine. If it doesn’t and feels jarring, I fast forward.

In movies/TV shows one can see it coming. It's gratuitous, there to keep the audience, guess I've come to accept it and keep the remote handy for tuning out for a bit. What I RESENT are the commercials dealing with private/immodest/personal subjects. It is just TACKY TACKY TACKY and they sneak up on you. Again the remote is always close at hand.

I grew up in a household where kids were NOT to use swear words at all, even though the adults used them when provoked, so we did know the basics from a young age. I still prefer not to hear foul language from kids or younger teens -- but that's me and my cultural background, not a mandate for anyone else.

eta: Just realized I am much more willing to drop foul words in real life, than write them anywhere. What is it about writing that causes a person to self-censor, even when writing to friends or writing in a journal that no one else would ever read? Odd.

Nickel - that was the way I was raised too. I feel guilty if I use a swear word today even at 68. I never use swear words when writing an email or letter. The amount that the "F" word is used in movies and even TV shows bothers me. I think it is lazy writing, unless it is the way a certain character is portrayed. I still don't like it.

If you are uncomfortable watching inappropriate content - it's easy, don't watch it. As soon as a show has a scene like that, turn it off and explain to your son why this isn't healthy and that you have standards that are for the good of both of you.

"explain to your son why this isn't healthy"

I have no experience dealing with an autistic child and how much of real life someone like that is told, is not told, can or can't understand or deal with. But just hearing the "not healthy" words sounds almost like a misinformed Victorian attitude.

Knowing about the realities of life, the human body, human conduct, is very healthy but maybe not something he can understand? I'm in the dark and would never pretend it's otherwise.

Perhaps I'm focusing on the choice of words too much. It may be "not appropriate". "Not a good idea". "Not something you should watch".

But not "unhealthy".

If someone doesn't like the F word which is a big part of my vocabulary when I'm dealing with a 50-foot hose watering this big yard...I'd suggest you don't want to watch Ozark.

I never heard a swear word until I was at least 10 years old, and when I finally did, I did not know what it meant. I led a sheltered life growing up on a farm.

I never use swear words - they are not part of my vocabulary, although I do know what they mean now.

maddiemo, I have since switched to folk tales for material, and I did write a screenplay for a Russian folk tale that I translated, although it needs some polishing. I also started blocking it so that my brother could do storyboards that could be published as a comic book, but he doesn't have the time for this right now. I could possibly try to do the sketches myself, but I am better at drafting than I am at sketching. I'm good at drawing people - just not entire scenes.

I translated the folk tale originally from a German translation, but then I found a Russian version and updated it to include a few details that were missing from the German translation. This folk tale has been widely translated into French and English before, but those versions leave out all the gory details in the Russian and German versions, which are much scarier, but perhaps tame by today's standards. The German version is very close to the original Russian.

I've noticed also that when native American folk tales are translated into English, many details are also left out. I discovered this when I was reading some anthropology books in the public library in San Francisco (which has a great anthropology section) that had the original text and then a verbatim translation into English. In the original versions, the stories would describe every time one of the characters had to pee or defecate in the woods, and I assume that this was important as a way of leaving or covering up traces of where one had been. Sometimes an area would be marked and sometimes an area would be concealed. For an anthropologist, this might be considered important or relevant information, but the casual American reader might find it offensive or disgusting.

And please shut your ears when I stub my toe.

I led a sheltered life growing up on a farm.

So did I, only I grew up in a big city. :-) I don't remember my parents ever swearing, at least in English. They were both multi-lingual, so might have done so without my understanding it. And I don't even remember much swearing among my friends, at least until we got to high school, and even then it was rare. I probably swear more now (especially these days) than I did when I was younger.

The "in my house growing up" and "how I was raised" comments trigger a thought for me.

My parents were born 100 years ago. They both lived through the Depression and WW2. They came from a different time and place than I did. They approached child rearing with the experiences they had had to that point in time but their attitudes and practices very much changed as the years passed. The opinions and practices I saw of my parents as senior citizens had been shaped and informed by a lifetime of experiences and were quite unlike how they were in their 30s and 40s when raising kids. For me, and for my siblings too, whatever childhood practices and lessons we received were just a starting point and we developed our own views from our own thinking and life experiences.

Other than a few anecdotes, mostly humorous ones, I can't tell you with specificity how I was raised because most of whatever was there when I was 12 years old is long gone. Is what I've just described not the case in general for others?

I think the topic is fine for KT and interesting. I agree that somethings are often better left to the imagination.

Elmer, not sure I'm fully getting your point/question. Sorry I don't have much time right now, but wanted to reply. Are you saying you don't remember what you were really like at age 12? That would be about 7th grade for most of us. I can remember incidents. I've changed in some ways, stayed same in other ways. My parents taught us values mostly by example. I was lucky to have good parents and extended family. Got to go now ... is any of this what you were after?

Hmm, nickel. I think what I'm saying is that I don't myself know In what ways I now adhere to the guidance and values from early years and in what ways am I different? My own views and values started with what existed in my parents home when they were in their 30s and 40s but I've formed my own, often different views from my own life experiences and my parents also changed over their subsequent years too.

If someone asked me to complete the sentence "I was raised by my parents to always Z" or "never B", I think I'd have trouble completing the sentence, filling in any blanks.

That was what I was saying, that I found some of the reactions to the topic a bit surprising.

Lars, I’ve heard that Russian folk stories don’t hold back, and am curious about the one you’re referring to. Sounds interesting, and as you know I do like a dark tale.

Your mention of Native American folk tales including critical bodily functions in the woods made me chuckle. It also reminded me of a guy from India who started working in our department a few years ago. I’m not sure if it was peculiar to him or a general cultural difference, but he certainly seemed to have fewer filters than we were unaccustomed to. One occasion I remember was in the middle of a big training session, when a manager excused herself from the room for a few moments and he started to loudly muse over the probabilities of which activity she was up to as she seemed to be taking her time. I found myself unable to silence the snort that erupted from me, and he seemed nonplussed over the stifled gasps of others.

He was one of my favourite colleagues.

Thanks for the clarification, Elmer. I can think of little things -- household chores and such -- that I still do a certain way because that's how my mom or dad did it, and their method made/still makes sense.

How my own values & views evolved over my life, how that compares or contrasts to my parent's experience, that requires more thought. I, and both my parents before me, were lucky in that we were raised in families that had solid, timeless values ... respect for education, respect for nature, respect for the rights of other people, etc. Pretty much. Too much more and this will need a thread of its own!

Elmer, like you, I feel that my views and opinions in my young years were influenced by the views and opinions I was raised hearing, but as I grew up, of course my own views and opinions emerged, and I witnessed my parents' ideas of certain things, change with the times as well.

You mentioned "If someone asked me to complete the sentence "I was raised by my parents to always Z" or "never B", I think I'd have trouble completing the sentence, filling in any blanks."

I was able to come up with something I was raised to 'always' and something I was raised to 'never.'

The 'always' would be that I was raised to always be respectful, even when disagreeing. My parents said that being rude or disrespectful when disagreeing with someone, makes the person pay more attention to how you spoke, than to the point you were trying to make. That is one thing that I did take with me as I grew up, and I agree that if one expresses the exact same opinion as someone else, but not in a snarky way, people are much less willing to be close minded to what you are saying.

The 'never' I came up with, would be that we were raised to know that 'whining' was not acceptable. Our parents believed that children who whine, either feel they're above doing something that they should be expected to do, or they feel entitled to something that they should not be entitled to expect. Neither reason was acceptable, and therefore, whining wasn't tolerated. I have to admit, that being scolded whenever I whined as a child, did make me realize as I grew up, that we have to work for what we want, because no one just 'deserves' things, and that we need to complain less, if we are not actively trying to alleviate whatever we are complaining about, because otherwise, we are no different than a 'whining' child.