Evil step kids with mentally ill mother

RN Tranks

I am a stepmom to two children, 9 y/o G and 11 y/o B. I have been married to their father for almost 2 years and have been in their lives for 6. I also have a teenager (my son). My SKs are here every other week in the summer months and every other weekend during the school years, plus any holiday or breaks from school.

Since meeting my husband it has been drama from the start regarding the kids. Their mother has borderline personality disorder which I think contributes to a lot of the commotion.

So far, over the years, we have been accused of abusing the kids several times, DCFS investigations always unfounded. Our discipline consists of taking things away and sending to room and that’s pretty much it. My SKs are pure evil. They intentionally lie to get attention from their mom, they make up stories to make us look bad, they tell her we don’t have food in our house (which we always have a ton). I spent $300 in groceries this week alone. They say these things to their mom because I think they want to get her upset and instigate an argument among the adults. The 9 y/o has a compulsive lying problem and lies without even realizing it. She also has been caught stealing from me, over $150 of makeup and perfume. One huge lie that she told caused us to be the recipients of an 8 month order of protection where my husband couldn’t see his kids. She eventually confessed to making the whole story up, saying it was because she was mad at us for making her go to her room when she got in trouble. She accused us of pulling her hair, not letting her eat, and forcing her to exercise (She’s overweight so we would encourage her to ride her bike or we would take long walks on our walking path) Also, she is an overeater and sneaks food so we would only allow second helpings but not thirds. She convinced her brother to tell DCFS that my husband pushed him down the stairs. He also admitted to lying after the order of protection was dismissed. I might add that their mothers husband is a county lieutenant and has some pull which is why the order of protection was so long and set without a trial date.

The latest incident involved yet another DCFS investigation because when mom tried calling the kids she didn’t get a hold of them right away so she called the cops on us. When the cops came, the step daughter was outside on her bike alone, my husband was sleeping (he works midnights), my teenager was on his game, and the step son was making himself some lunch. This scenario led to a DCFS investigation because the 9 year old was outside on her bike. When they interviewed the kids they started with the lies again about not having food blah blah blah. My husband and I have a combined income of $200,000, I think we can afford food.

Anyway, Im at my breaking point and told my husband the kids can’t be allowed in our house anymore because they are eventually going to get us in a ton of trouble with their lies.

I need advice. I’m even considering a divorce at this point, but I love my husband. He’s an amazing, genuinely kind person, and he keeps getting backstabbed by his own children.

I think he might be at the end of his rope too.

HELP

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Bluebell66

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through so much. I really think you need professional advice and assistance. Maybe start with a counselor for the two of you and go from there. You both need a plan for dealing with the devious kid issues. And you and their mom need to be on the same page as far as dealing with their behavior, which doesn't sound like is going to happen. Sadly, I would probably be considering divorce, too, only because the nature of these incidents is so significant. You also want to protect your son and make sure he matures with a healthy outlook on relationships and family. Without your husband putting his foot down and stopping the back stabbing, I'm not sure anything can change.

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RN Tranks

I was thinking of counseling also. I have tried communicating with the mother but that’s a lost cause. She is actually a big part of the problem. You’re so right about protecting my son. He’s my number one priority right now. Thank you for your response.

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