Okay, now that you've explained all that, I think I understand. I live in a open plan and everyone still crowds into the kitchen! I am a believer that function comes first and form should follow. You'll end up with a hybrid look, but it will be better for living I am sure. I was also thinking how nice it is that the sink and DW will be right there. We have a similar set-up from the patio, we can pass dishes through a sliding window right onto the sink deck. It's great. Getting back to your original questions...I don't know a lot about soapstone, but I think if you can find a "clean" one it will be okay. You mean for in the kitchen, right? I was thinking about wood for the bar surface. Then as I read back, I think you have already considered that. Don't rule out quartz, btw. Not sure why you don't like granite...maybe just because you love soapstone! Also, do get a quote on custom (not the brand...the concept!) because it might price out better than you think and you'll get exactly what you want. Maybe you can make a trade-off somewhere. Contractors in some areas are slow with the decline in the market. People I know have been getting fast service and better prices. I think the biggie is finding fridge panels and slab doors that really look nice with your DR furniture. Counter material is less important IMO. I don't like the white as much as I like the Custom doors...wood with black, especially for the fridge. Mixing in some painted black units could give you the unfitted look suggested above. And maybe you could even find frameless cabs to paint black to go with whatever you have to do to get the black/wood look on some of them. (Yes, leave it to me to make things as difficult as possible!) Have you thought about color? I know Allison's F&B French Gray appeals to you. Maybe there is a color in the Bird of P fabric you could use, a dark gray/green or something. Often, one way to ease a style transition is through color. Like even when the style is different (a less formal kitchen) if there is a color connection, it makes sense to the eye/brain on a deeper level. I do it all over my house...because I have no style! ;-) One last thing to think about... I am a huge fan of frameless cabs and will never "go back" if I don't have to. But, I also find that I can get along fine with very little in the kitchen in the way of food and equipment. I have satellite storage (pantry shelves in the nearby laundry room and a linen closet I borrowed for seldom used dishes, candles, napkins, etc.) and find I really only need about 20-30% of what I have (equipment and food) on a daily basis. Just something to think about...aesthetics vs. storage. Which matters the most, etc...

Hi, Sarah.. I am coming into this thread late in the game but I did read through all the posts. I wanted to share a couple of thoughts and experiences but I am short on time so I will apologize in advance if I sound short or harsh. I have a red dining room and I have grown to hate it. My wood is a medium to dark oak and I think it does nothing for it. I think it will do much less for your darker and more formal wood. My sister just did her dining room in a blue (leaning towards teal) and it looks smashing with her dark wood. I am the LAST person to choose blue.. it's just not one of "my colors" but I have to say I think it works very well in your room. I tend to green and I still prefer the blue mockups over the greens. You keep referring to this as the "formal dining room" but the southern living elements you are wanting to decorate around are much more casual to me. I think you need to stop and take a breath and think about whether you want a formal dining room as your furniture suggests or a casual family style dining room like your bowl suggests. If you want the formal dining room then I'd use the tuscan bowl and the other southern living pieces in the kitchen. Whether the dishes in the china cab are valuable monetarily or or personally, they are on display for a reason, I'd presume? Are they family heirlooms? I would never suggest that you store them away-- if for no other reason, because they work much better with your furniture and with the gorgeous shutters. I strongly recommend that you look at pictures in the gallery and review the ones shared in this post with similar furniture and see if you can find a style that is cohesive and approaches what you see in your minds eye. I don't mean this disrespectfully (because I have been there myself) but you are going in the direction of a real mish mash of styles and your furniture is such a strong element in the room I don't think it's a room that will gracefully accept the eclectic look. I agree with all others on the shutters-- love them! They look beautiful as they are.

@Debbie Downer; I'm designing a 1650 sqft 3 bed 2 bath open concept house on stilts with no DR, and have given a lot of consideration to what I should do with my art. My design has a front door that opens into a large foyer with high ceilings and recessed lighting, flanked by two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an interior staircase (leading down to the garage below). While designing, it occurred to me that the walls of this foyer will be an excellent opportunity to create a small home art gallery and hang some beautiful pieces. To complement the concept, I also designed a small alcove in the foyer with a single shelf (meant for visitors to temporarily place their purse and car keys) that will add an artistic vibe. The wall of the alcove will be adorned with mother of pearl tile behind a framed oil painting lit up by a single puck or pendant light hanging above the shelf. The space below the shelf is intended for a tall floor vase or sculpture. The foyer/gallery will lead directly into the open great room (to the right, south) and kitchen (to the left, north). The open concept will be covered by a vaulted ceiling and recessed lighting, with the south wall essentially being all glass to let in the light. To make up for no dining room, I have designed a covered lanai off of the great room's south wall (opposite the kitchen), which can be used for outdoor dining. This lanai will be accessed through double sliding glass doors intended to open up the space even more. The kitchen will have a huge island (8'×4') with artistically designed wood legs giving it the appearance of a table. A table cloth, a centerpiece, and a properly set "table" will dress this space up enough to pass as a formal dining area should I ever want it to be. I don't generally cook for large numbers, but when I do, I like to clean as I go, leaving behind a small mess that is easy enough to dispose of before sitting down to eat. Beyond the great room and kitchen, I have designed a master suite (the bedroom is separated from the great room by a wall with a built-in double-sided fireplace and double-sided book shelf). The wall separating the master suite from the great room is another great space for art in both the great room and the master suite. With the symmetry and proper lighting, the interior of the house, itself, will be a piece of art. And the best thing about this house is that every square foot of it will be used every single day. I won't be staring at a bunch of unused space that might only get attention on special occasions. And I won't be heating it, either.

Well this thread has almost reached its end. I think that dianalo and lax have so many good points. Lots of others also but I can't go back again and make note of all of them. For the most part the parents are trying so hard and are doing the best they know how. I don't know how anyone can ask or want more. I made a point of saying we ate dinner together every night. We did. And that it didn't matter where you ate together ...in a tent or where ever. We talked and laughed and cried and sometimes I yelled and stormed at the kids too. It was not all perfect and rose colored. My DH and I did the best we knew how given the patterns we grew up with .I think we did a great job. Our kids are well into adult-hood now. They have a range of behaviors that are full spectrum from in/out of jail and mental illness to productive well-adjusted employed to alcoholic to sweetest and kindest to most self-centered impossible out of control anger...this is the same person...all in this one family...it is also parts of the other 2 children. We all ate at the same table and loved and learned together. All of the children have told us in recent weeks how much we mean to them and how much they love us...while one or another was exhibiting the above behaviors in the past months . As parents there is simply no job that is harder or more heartbreaking or more rewarding. Most of us try to do our best. We ate together and I am the first to admit that sometimes we would have been better off being in separate rooms. So be it. We did the best we could and the kids know this. I know this...I still feel guilty every day for the times that I made big mistakes. I am trying to let that guilt go. But when the phone rings in the middle of the night...it all comes back. This started as a conversation about the DR. Yes we have had one since 1979. Has it made a difference in my life or DH's or our children's ? No. Has the time we have spent with them reading stories in their room ? Yes...more than any other time ever ever spent they still all talk about the books that we read them. Time spent and the love generated in that time... still none of it is a guarantee . c