I myself appreciate the praise more when it comes from within the family - it is so easy for them to just overlook all the efforts put into making a pretty garden. Congrats on an observant hubby. It does sound pretty. I love caladiums and have used them extensively every year - I know I should dig them up and store them properly but I just treat them as annuals and get new everyyear. I do buy the bulbs from a mail order source and this year planted over 75 in various containers and places in the garden. They just really brighten up a dark corner and don't mind the heat at all as long as they get some water. We need to see pictures *hint - hint*....... Lynne

You can't change someone else's behavior, you can only change your own. Your mother sounds like a very toxic person who thrives on drama and confrontation. People like that rarely get how destructive they are and prefer to blame others. Your primary responsibility is to your child and your husband now. It's time to let go of the fantasy that mom will one day turn into a sweet person. Ain't gonna happen. Be grateful that you recognize that your mother's behavior is damaging to your family and build on that by learning how to set boundaries with her. It's a skill you need to learn that will help you in all areas of your life. Do some research on family roles and boundaries and your life will be much calmer. Don't get pulled into her game. Your husband deserves respect and so do you.

There was a thread here recently about "romantic" husbands. I had said we don't exchange gifts, but my husband knows what I like and will bring me little "odds and ends" when he finds them. He was so proud of himself. He brought me a bag of 22 old valve handles. I had found abut half a dozen when I was taking care of Ken, in some junk in his garage, and he gave them to me. I've seen things made out of them on Pinterest. But, Jody was so proud that he found these for me. He had taken some junk to the scrap yard and bought the bag for $2. I don't know what I will do with them....if anything, but I was very pleased....and he was so pleased with himself.....it was raining and he went out in the rain to his truck to get them to show them to me.

Mercy, have you got a lot on your plate! I admire your cheerfulness & perseverence. I think people have a wrong impression about "mental illness"; they think someone who has a brain disorder acts crazy, when really they usually act like anyone else, & their symptoms often do not include "acting crazy". As you say, bi-polar people can be fractious, argumentative, & unreasonable....& that sounds like a lot of other people as well. I think I might work on that part of the problem first. If he can realize that your daughter really does have a disorder, that she's not just being difficult or using her problems as a crutch, he can calm down & develop more reasonable expectations of her. & I think you're going to *have* to inhale, exhale, take a step backwards, & look after yourself. No one person can solve everyone else's problems, & if you kill yourself from the stress of trying, those grandchildren never *will* get to know & enjoy their grandmother. As far as your hubs's mother rejecting him... That would hurt anyone. but if he can look at the situation from the perspective of his adult self, he'll realize that she couldn't have been a good mother to him then (that's the reason he was adopted), & she still can't be a mother to him. She just doesn't have it. I'd say if he was brought up to be a good person & a responsible adult, & if he's found some uncles who adore him, he's a lucky person indeed. Take care.