@seagrass ... empty plates, almost empty table: that is a salt shaker near the ears of a couple of attendees, isn't it? Could they be the salt of the earth? @katlan ... I having been a country resident without wheels from early June till the end of October, was glad when our church began in-sanctuary meetings three werks ago, I went, and during worship, when my phone rang (it plays "morning glory") it was a neighbour who'd brought food to my house ... so I went out into the hall to phone him back to say I was O K and thank him. Having been to almost no gatherings in months, while I attended a newly revivified, as they hadn't been using Zoom, monthly meeting of local subscribers of "Canadian Moneysaver" magazine ... Paul called to say he was at my door with food ... so I shut off the phone and headed for the hall again - I was in another church, as a matter of fact. @jeb ... that kisser teacher looks somewhat like a toaster to me ... but they're best approached when not hot, aren't they! @eld ... sometimes commas are important: for a few seconds I wondered whether it was the needy kids in need of the flowers! @Rusted ... as one 3 1/2 times the age of your illustrated one ... may I request that we old farts be handled with care, please? ole joyfuelled

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious. The query: Dear Tech Support, "Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do? Signed: Desperate The response (that came weeks later out of the blue) Dear Desperate, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0. Good Luck Tech Support

Rusty

eld - great that she has a dog, that may not know outward bound route - but they know the way home. With that large hat and body but short, tiny legs, same with the dog, hope she has funds for a cab - but would the dog's homing instinct work? Hope she has a utility bill showing her address in the purse. ded - when was the last time someone "got your goat"? Around here that means getting someone upset, riled, rankled. Advisory: somewhat gross material ahead: proceed with caution, if at all! Jassy - Is it an arm-wrestle he's seeking - in the bathroom? Could be he's waving the wrong appendage? (writ by a guy whose system, having used a catheter for some years, had a Covid-delayed pipe installed a while ago and now is trying to tame his system that's demanding to pee, too frequently, and urgently). seagrass - let's see if we can find a way to get that message to my (especially) liquid waste elimination system - they seem to be rather stuck in a recently acquired rut! oly - try to find a way to advise that chef to tell his client that it'd be a good idea to get an old yogurt tub or similar to carry with him through the place in case of urgent need. In public - it depends. kat - having become rather majorly forgetful, and trying to fit an offspring recently become 60, and another about to become so, into his brain ... I can't remember how they were trained (about a generation and a half ago, actually). Maybe they weren't, at home, anyway, as neither has produced offspring. Rusty - having lived for 18+ years in the country about 6 mi. from a village and 12 or 15 from the city, a couple of years without a car or a driver's licence, and having done quite a lot of hitchhiking, I can't complain too strongly about having lost a lot of my ZING, it seems. Interestingly - over half of the people who offer me rides are female, very few of them young ones. More to this story - but I'd better make a thread to include it. Hope you've all had an interesting and mainly satisfying week - and good wishes to you and yours for the weekend - from ole joyfuelled