Crazy query regarding donation of clothing
6 years ago
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- 6 years ago
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Requsting no gifts at 1 yr. old bday is it ok to ask guests to...
Comments (79)Polly, I'm so glad this worked out so well! I bet you'll notice that others in your family and friends will follow your lead and do this too. What you avoided: My four-year-old neice just received 9 (yes, that's nine) new American Girl Dolls including all accessories and furniture bits for her birthday. Of course, that was only part of the gift haul. She's got an older sister and an entire toy room of dolls and furniture and costumes already. My SIL is from a big family and they celebrate all holidays and birthdays with big get-togethers and I think there's a lot of competition as to who buys the most/best. These are NOT families with a ton of money, either. Holy cow. Thank you thank you for being so strong and forging ahead with your idea! You're happy, your son is happy, the charity is happy, and your guests are happy. That's what a party is all about! Good job!...See MoreWhat's the best outdoor clothes dryer?
Comments (14)Having grass under your lines is a plus because you will drop stuff from time to time. Even now in the depths of winter in the NE I have dried grass (over frozen earth) so the corner of a sheet that slips out of my finger doesn't get muddy. When I first set up my lines I didn't have thick turf and I made a few unprintable comments when fresh white laundry got mud on on it. My mother had her rotatry set up on a slate terrace with sand between the slates and stuff sometimes got sand on it. I have always thought a really cool thing to do would be to have a raised bed of lavendar bushes running just under a long run of parallel lines. Then you'd have the scent of lavendar on things when the bushes were in bloom and if they touched any of the veg. under neath the lines you'd still get a nice smell. Unfortunately where I am lavendar requires sun and wind sheltering to survive so I can't do it. Retractable long lines are a neat idea, esp. on a small property. And they might be an excellent first step into the world of clothes drying. If you find you like the routine of line drying, then you could add a smaller rotary umbrella to accomodate additional items. For large flat things long lines are the best as they produce the most wrinkle-free items and sheets and blankets tend to block fast drying on rotary umbrellas, at least on marginal drying days. I was planning to add some more long lines to my set-up this summer, but the Hills dryer I mentioned got me thinking about adding another rotary. Retractable lines (and rotary umbrellas that are taken down between wash days) would probably be best in city lot because then you'd have less problem with the lines getting grubby from air pollution. Since you have a small lot a retractable and/or removable set-up might be the best. I think I once saw a project in one of Martha's mags about a retractable set-up that also had a retractable long awning above it to provide shade for delicate stuff, but I think it would be great for days when the weather is a bit iffy. I will look at the breezedryer you suggested. It sounds intersting. PS, be sure to buy beefy spring wooden clothespins (Diamond is a good brand). There are some skinny ones out there that don't hold up. Molly~...See MoreThe Other Side Of The Estranged Mother
Comments (15)mommybunny, You are correct in your statement "All my point was is that there are both sides to the story and that in some situations, parents are not as innocent as they portray themselves to be". People (even friends) forget that there ARE TWO SIDES TO MANY SITUATIONS of estrangement. Yes, there surely are some adult kids who are spoiled rotten and turn their back on good parents. But there are also parents who have created a lot of pain, and refuse to be accountable for anything. Keep in mind folks, that just like you never know what really goes on in marriages, nor do you really know what goes on in family relationships. People can be wonderful to friends and people they know, but can create tremendous pain within their own family. To those who jumped on mommybunny, have you lost the ability to rationally look outside of your own situation, and grasp that indeed a parent CAN be at fault in an estrangement? No one is suggesting that YOU are at fault, but that there certainly are situations where the behavior of a parent can certainly have caused some estrangements. If you are not actually capable of considering that possibility, then you have closed your mind to rational thinking. And unless you are actually capable of entertaining that possibility within your own estrangements, I don't imagine that healing will happen until you are ready to do so. Mommybunny, pull up discussions on detaching with love. It sounds as though even though you are an adult, locked within you is still the small child yearning for her mothers acceptance and approval. Yearning to hear a mothers loving words. And for whatever reason, it does not sound as though your mother is capable of being the mother you need her to be. Do not use her to validate how special and wonderful you are. Stop trying to jump through hoops to win her love and acceptance. She sounds incapable of giving it. Not because you are not worthy, but because for some reason, something is lacking within HER. Imagine yourself at a playground sitting on a bench. You see a lovely little girl who is precious. Your heart immediately leaps and you know you could love this child. The mother comes up and yanks the child away and tells her she is a stupid child. But you know that she is wonderful, and you wonder why that woman can not see this beautiful little girl for the gift that she is. Why is she so hard on her? And you wish that you could tell the little girl that she is nothing that the mother says. She is perfect, and you wish she were yours. Just because that mother cannot see her child for who she really is, does not mean that child is not precious. She is so precious, and was never responsible for the failings of adults and their problems. Work on forgiving your mother for not being the mom you needed her to be. Not because she deserves it, but because it will help you release all of the anguish within you. Understand that she is incapable of being the mom you needed her to be, (for whatever reason) and save yourself the emotional distress of replaying her hurtful words, and struggling to get her to understand (and apologize for) the pain she inflicted. I don't imagine she is the type to apologize. There are discussions on line on detaching with love and how it has helped many people. By finally understanding they will never be the person we wish them to be. Many people are not capable of changing. They are who they are. Find peace as you begin to heal. I imagine it would be so healthy if you could find a counselor to help you resolve the pain and anguish of this relationship, and find healing and peace over how unjust this all feels. I wish you well....See MoreMy sister -- just a rant
Comments (10)--" my nephew is kind of over the anger, he is doing great in school, he is managing his mental health with medication but with behavior modification he is doing excellent. I'm so proud of him."-- Good for him! It sounds like that no matter the chaos and mess around him, he at least is doing 'ok' and working hard at overcoming his own issues. It is strange though that your sister assures he get help and therapy yet does nothing to deal with her own issues. Ever watch that tv series on hoarding? OMG is right. I won't even begin to think I understand hoarding behavior, cause I don't, but I wonder if the moving/partner to partner lifestyle of your sister has somehow helped create the hoarding tendency? Perhaps she views the total mess and junk in her house as the one consistancy that belongs to her and the one thing she can control with thinking 'my possessions'. IDK. Such inconsistancies. Poor son has no shoes yet the lady has a housefull of them. No clothing, yet the house is littered with clothing. No food yet hands her money to others for food. Makes one wonder why she did not hand her friend the address for the foodbank instead of the cash. Is the 'stuff' all over her home the reason she is always broke? Meaning she spends her money on all this junk and therefore has none for the things she really needs? I'm not sure there is anything you personally could do to 'help', it seems like professionals with training to deal with people with these issues would be the only hope of breaking what is going on. Has your nephew talked to his therapist about his living conditions? Is there a school counselor that might be able to assist him? A sink full of dishes would not give CPS much room to work with, but a housefull as in unsafe, unsantitary ect might. If you 'rat' her out, be prepared that your sister will be angry with you and perhaps try and shut you out from interfering with what obviously she sees as 'no problem'. I have not a bit of advice, but wanted to say from your 'vent' I think you have real reason to feel concern. I'm just not sure what it is you could do to 'help' all on your own...this sounds like it may be a bigger issue than you yourself could take on without some outside assistance. In the meantime, perhaps you could include your nephew in a bit of your weekend activities (minus Mom) just so he knows Aunt Myfam is there for him and give him a wee bit of a chance to have some normalcy in his life, a decent meal ect. And continue to help out a bit with the little things you have been doing (like the facewash)....See More- 6 years agolast modified: 6 years ago
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