There's a basic fallacy in this cute little story. A healthy person does not need a nursing home. A nursing home is not the same thing as a retirement home. A nursing home provides 24 hour skilled nursing care plus 24 hour assistance care. The cruise ship won't have someone answering the buzzer every time a bed-bound person needs the bed panin the middle of the night. A healthy older person is wise to think ahead, and this is a cute story. But it just ain't so.

...it is important to make sure you have an advocate (guardian) who can help out in the event you are temporarily incapacitated." Not quite. A guardian is what the state sets up when you have NOT taken care of your business. Power of Attorney (POA) is what you should set up yourself to AVOID ever becoming subject to a guardianship. And if you cannot afford an attorney, at least download the papers from your state, sign them and get them notarized. 99 times out of 100 that will work fine. (unless your kids are into fighting over who gets to be POA) I work in this area, and trust me: everybody involved is always happy to come upon signed Powers and drop the court mess. There may come a day when you canot speak for yourself, even temporarily. And no, your spouse or your parents can't simply start making decisions for you. (Remember Terri Shaivo?) Take care of your business and the courts will leave you alone. Neglect making a plan and designating Powers, and you may leave the court no choice but to step in. Often a terrible mess, but that's the law.

I work with some non-profit organization who replace smoke detectors and batteries for the seniors at not cost to them. From time to time, the smoke detector companies provide the fire departments with FREE smoke detectors, which in turn get installed by one of the local charity groups! So start with your local fire department and see if they have such a program. Or, they may be able to tell you if there is a charity group that does provide that type of service to seniors. Also, check with some of the local church groups as some have a group of gentlemen who provide that service at no charge to the senior! Several yrs ago we received a pallet of smoke detectors that had the lithium batteries and was a sealed unit. When the unit stopped working i.e. 10 Yrs., you replaced the unit! Now we recently received some wireless smoke detectors for use in older homes that do not have hard wired detectors. When installed, if one unit goes off, they all will go off! And for the life of me I can't remember what type of batteries they used. Sorry! Hope this helps! AL

BDDT, with my dad about 4 years ago. He was far more cooperative than many of your parents have been. He had two accidents in a week plus a few others in the preceding couple of years. Mom did most of the driving until she broke her elbow. She was out of commission and he drove more resulting in the two final accidents. Mom agreed and we hired a caregiver who drove for them 5 days a week. Definitely expensive, but Dad used senior door 2 door transportation and discount taxi coupons. He agreed to a full neurological workup which after six weeks the doc INSANELY said that he was fine to drive. Mom wisely had the caregiver drive around the neighborhood with dad. She came back and said unequivocally that he was not capable. Only one more time did he attempt to drive. I was called by the cleaning lady and rushed over, just in time. I explained that he had worked very hard all his life for a comfortable retirement. Was he going to jeopardize all it? What kind of life did that elderly man have after he killed ten people at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market? After that we sold his car. He's never attempted it again. Sadly there is NO public transportation in their area of Los Angeles, but he's not physically capable now of getting on a bus unassisted. MIL had her license suspended recently. She's 90 and fully capable, but nearly hit a pedestrian who called the cops, MIL got a citation and a notice to appear for a competency hearing. She had to take another driver's test and failed. She too is complaining about the inequity. She's fiercely independent and doesn't want to rely on anyone. She's had another hearing and has to go for a full medical eval. If she passes then she has to get a learner's permit and take 6 hours of lessons. She thought that she could just send in the med form for the doc to fill out. We're a bit more removed in this situation so we're letting the DMV sort it out. Finally, my friend's FIL refused to stop driving (he had some dementia) and they put a club on his steering wheel so that he couldn't drive!