Need help with gift idea for daughter's boyfriend
jill302
4 years ago
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Need college graduation gift idea for step-daughter.
Comments (25)Hi Kids, Thanks for starting this thread, saramynn. We also have a graduation in May, and have been trying to come up with somthing as a gift. When I think of a graduation gift I like to think of something that will have meaning to the graduate throught the years and remind them of their accomplishments each time they see it. That being said, I'm not crazy about a gift of technology just because of it's short life span. Money is always a safe bet but does not have that personal touch. I think I like sherrmanns idea of the Waterford crystal. Even if it was a smaller piece and then give an additional gift of cash. Thanks Kids, now I have a direction to go in. Good luck to everyone involved in there own quest for the perfect gift! sooey...See MoreHelp My Boyfriends Daughter is tearing our family apart
Comments (50)nivea, I'm sorry you had a bad experience in your life but a child can be (and a lot of them are) manipulative at age 6-8. My SD, when she was 6, came up to me and said 'my daddy was kissing deanna' and stood there waiting for me to react. She has glared at me when he isn't looking. and she would be a totally different child the minute he walked through the door. A lot of this was happening when we were dating and he never saw any of it. He didn't believe me until I pointed it out and he saw it. Perhaps the difference is that I knew what she was doing and I had been through raising several kids before so I knew how to handle it. My DH's ex (whom my SD referred to as 'horrible Elizabeth') probably reacted to it by taking it personally. She was younger & had three small kids and not everyone can rise above it when you are stressed out. That may not be a good reason or excuse to blame them, but humans are not perfect. Anyone that believes children cannot be manipulative has their head stuck in the sand. It is natural for them to angle things so they get their way. My kids do it all the time. (and nivea, is it possible that you behaved normally as a child, which can be seen as manipulative if you didn't like your step mom? Were you happy they broke up?) Some kids just react like normal kids and their actions can seem the are being manipulative, and other kids 'know' they will get a reaction. I think my SD knew that telling me DH 'kissed' his friend would get a reaction. She was only 6 but had already learned how to get rid of daddy's GF's. (the situation was that his friend deanna had given him a ride home after his car broke down and she always gives a hug/kiss on the cheek. I knew about it and wasn't in any way concerned.) btw, My son came into my room a couple of days ago and we were talking. He told me 'mom, you just like to argue.' and I said 'no I don't' and he said 'yes you do' so I repeated 'no. I don't.' and he repeated 'yes you do' and then I realized that he was pushing my buttons and it was a game to him, to get me to argue with him. I just said, okay and it took the wind out of his sail, I took the fun out of it by not playing....See MoreConfused about boyfriend & his daughter
Comments (4)So you moved in to be the cook and maid? Not in my world. I don't wait hand and foot on my own DH of 30 plus yrs let alone my own children. So what skills does daughter have? Is she going to school? Does she have a job? I'm a mean momma that makes kids work outside the home and pay a small rent from the second they get out of high school (they worked on their own desire during high school). I knew I'd not be doing my 'job' as a parent if I did not take the role of preparing my children to launch. Does the daughter have emotional scars from abuse? Any counseling? Is there any reason she is 26 and 'helpless'. Except for she's a lazy slob, you didn't really give much information. I agree the daughter needs set goals and a timeline to complish moving out. But a month might be a bit soon without knowing more details. Job hunting and housecleaning/picking up after herself would be a mandatory immediate. You yourself would not be the perfect person to discuss becoming self efficient with the daughter though. It'd be rather counterproductive to lay out 'you must get a job' when you yourself are a stay home GF who is dependent on her father. The daughter will blow you off as the 'do as I say not as I do' lady. Another thing to question is, is this the way your BF and his daughter have always lived their life? Though BF says he wants it to be different (her move her) his actions don't follow his words. Could he be very content with how he and daughter are and how they live? If so, no matter how much you whine and 'flip out' nothing is likely to change. You've voiced your opinion over the situation for a year and no signs of anything improving or Dad taking a stand with the daughter. I doubt a family meeting will get you changes either, unless Dad is serious about it. If you're physically able, you might consider job hunting for yourself and earning some income so that you can become less dependent on BF. if you can't 'change' them the one thing you can change is yourself. It'd give you a way to leave if all else fails. You're unhappy and so far BF/daughter don't particularly care. That's not a good sign that there is much of a future in your relationship....See Moredealing with boyfriend's daughter
Comments (10)Hi Everyone, Wow, it's been a revelation reading your posts. I can commiserate. I've been dating a man for a little over two years. He has 3 children, and the 12 year old daugther (the oldest) is giving me problems suddenly. I have two kids, so we're talking FIVE kids here. Anyway...we waited a LONG time to meet each others' kids and introduce the kids. We all me last May, which was a year and three quarters into our relationship. It could not have gone more beautifully! We've gotten the kids together about 6 times since then, and we are always careful to be sure that we don't occupy every weekend we have our kids TOGETHER; it's important that my kids have alone time with me, and important that his kids have alone time with him. Last month, the sweetest thing happened....his 12 year old said "I love you" to me! It floored me!! She has always attached herself to me, wants to be in MY car to talk to me (rather than her fathers....heck, we have to take 2 cars with 5 kids!), and talks non stop about stuff with a lot of smiles. ALL OF THE SUDDEN..BOOOOOM! This past weekend I was at his house helping take care of his kids while he met a deadline (he's a tax attorney), and as soon as I got there I was met with coldness from her. I was kind of floored. She was misbehaving with her younger siblings, and he saw all of this. He tried talking to her a few times and she keps saying "I'm just tired". Well, finally he had it and they went in a room to talk. She started venting and crying about how her life has changed, she wants him to move closer (he's 30 minutes away). He handled it beautifully with her. I went in to talk to her at another time, as well, and just told her that she can always talk to me, even if it's about me, and that it's important that she get her feelings out and not bottle them up. I also told her that I understood if she didn't want me there that weekend because we've been seeing each other a lot lately, but I was only there because dad was in a pinch and I was helping. She told her dad later on that she "didn't want to talk to HER, because SHE"S the one I'm mad at!!!". I had given her some books as a gift, and she told him "Why did she even give me that? I didn't want it! I told her I didn't want it!". So, how is it...HOW is it that a month ago this little girl tells me she loves me, a few days prior she was telling me all about her first dance, and then BOOM...she doesn't like me? I'm really frightened that this will tear apart our relationship! THe divorce and ensuing time has been fraught with nastiness and bitterness from her mom, who never ceases to badmouth my bf in front of the kids (and in front of whomever happens to be around, even at PTA meetings...it's awful). My bf and I think (are pretty damn sure) that this badmouthing has now been about me, as well, and GOSH only knows what she would be telling this child! I can't control his ex (neither can he, apparently, which is also driving me nuts), and I certainly can't control his daughter. Tonight when I asked him how she could suddenly not like me, how could she have said "I love you" just a month ago, he said, "well, maybe the i love you was just a reflex because she's used to saying it before she says goodbye to people". I was just hurt by that....it feels like he took that away from me, dismissed it as a 'mistake'! And, he couldn't understand why I got hurt! Any advice? I'm at the BEGINNING of this stuff that you guys have been through already, and it sounds like some of you have gotten through it with your relationship in tact. My bf is a wonderful person, and I don't want to lose him, yet I feel rather hopeless. After all, this is the 1st of 5 kids who will all become teens and go through this stuff! With the ex having the kids the vast, vast majority of the time and able to influence them without conscience, I feel like he and I have yet one MORE mountain to climb. It's bad enough dealing with the ex and her antics. Advice....please?...See More
Fun2BHere
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agojill302
4 years agojill302
4 years ago
just_terrilynn
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoDo you have a Trader Joe’s near?
He sounds busy so I’d do a travel/grocery tote with TJ pizza crust (takes 5 to 8 minutes in the oven), some fresh basil, TJ Bruschetta, nice olive oil and a bottle of Revelation cab/mer blend (TJ) and a small block of TJ Parmesan.
I’m lately addicted to making things with TJ pizza crust, but I put Burrata on mine and add other items on hand. Good stuff! ( my son is getting all this for a part of his gift).
ETA: you could also add a brush to add olive oil on both sides of crust and a pizza stone or pan or pizza cutter wheel if you wanted to get fancier. All in the original posting is under $30. The French Revelation red blend is only sold at Trader Joe’s and is an easy to drink red that is totally acceptable and a good bang for the buck. However, if he is very very fussy you might want to kick the wine part up a notch. I find it to be a decent table wine though.jill302 thanked just_terrilynn
salonva
4 years agojust_terrilynn
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoOr, if he likes a blend Scotch Whiskey, this is amazing!
And, maybe these glasses. They’re weighty and lead free hand blown crystal.https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B07CHJYGD1/ref=nosim/scotchaddict-20
Funkyart
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoI got this idea from the Town & Country gift lists Mtn shared.. I just love it. I am likely returning what I already bought my brother* and going with this instead.. Barbour's plaid dopp kit has made many top lists .. they also make one in black watch plaid. I intend to fill it with nice socks or his favorite candy (toblerone).
* I originally got him a bose waterproof speaker for his boat-- but I realized if you have an expensive boat, you probably have whatever sound system you want as well. Duh!
For one of my niece's DH, I plan to get this special release single estate vodka made in copper vats-- it looks gimmicky but it gets good reviews and they love Moscow mules. We also have some craft distilleries in the area-- if you do also, that could be a nice gift and a reminder of his visit to your town.
If he's more of a craft brew guy, I think a growler is a great idea-- there are so many styles, ceramic, stainless steel, etc.
My sometimes SO's favorite gift from my family was my sister's homemade mustard! *jill302 thanked Funkyartjill302
4 years ago
bbstx
4 years agojill302
4 years ago
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