What happened to this topic, ok ladies.... Kind of a personal question
6 years ago
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What causes this kind of personality? Go ahead, play psychologist
Comments (23)Here's some insight from another Southerner (well, an all-over Military brat who has been in the deep South now for almost 25 years). Begging off church activities with feigned illness/fatigue: this is just the Southern way of getting out of doing something without offending anyone. It's hard enough to turn down an invite to a Metallica concert by telling your metalhead friend that you don't like heavy metal. Have you ever tried telling a heavily-churched Southern person that you don't want to attend their church function because you're not fond of their denomination or particular congregation? You just don't do it. You make up an excuse. Also, in what may seem like an odd way, she is respecting her husband. If he is a deacon, or member of the men's committee, or whatever, it is expected that his wife and family be a part of things. If she were to go to a movie, or shopping with "outsiders", etc. rather than attend a church function, it could cause discomfort for him. So her solution is to stay out of sight. Crazy, but I understand it. My observation of women or men who are heavily involved in their churches (particularly Southern Baptist or any of the more evangelical groups, and particularly the Pentecostal groups) is that all social activity tends to revolve around the church. Whether it is actual services, Sunday school, bible study, or socializing away from church . . . it is with other church people. Particularly if the children are grown so there are no other natural "groups" from which to draw friends (ballpark moms, band parents, neighborhood groups, etc.). My guess is that her husband has few friends outside the church, and might not be altogether comfortable with someone from the outside. So she may not be sure how to introduce new people to their lives. As for the martyrdom/narcissism angle, I think other posters have commented well on that. She's just your standard guilt-tripper. The change agent there is not for her to change, but for others to change how they react to it: Her: "I never get to do anything like that (sigh)". Other person: "That's a shame, you really should try it some time." or . . . Her: "We HAVE to get the roof blown off today." Son/Daughter: "I wish I'd known, Mom, but we already have plans. How about next Saturday?" She only does it because it gives her feedback that she desires....See MoreOk ladies - I need your help !
Comments (19)If the console is going to be up against the couch, I wouldn't worry about a bottom shelf. You won't need it, because the couch will take the eye through the console and up from the floor in that little bit of space. Plus, with lamps and other items on the top of the table, nobody will see that little bit of floor under the table. Could you post other pieces that will be in the room? Glam but comfortable is an interesting description, but the tv cabinet you have posted doesn't really fit that. Would love to see the colorful chairs. Also as mentioned, it would help to know what size table you need to work behind the couch. What about something like this? It has an antique gold finish on the iron, a granite top, and an elegant but simple design, imo. table...See MoreOk old topic different twist: Standing in a line?
Comments (43)"But this queen represented nothing I value and remained quiet about many things I find abhorrent." The monarchy has a long and complex history, especially when it comes to colonialism. Former colonies like Canada, Australia and New Zealand, and of course the USA, are still struggling to come to grips with the impact imperialism had on their indigenous populations. That is something the successor nations, not just the British, need to address. Remember as well that imperial expansion took place after Britain had become a Constitutional Monarchy, with Parliament and not the King or Queen running the show. The British Parliament, but also the Parliaments of Canada et al, and the Congress of the US, have all been complicit in the damage done to indigenous nations. And bear in mind too, that in a Constitutional Monarchy, the Queen can only make a political statement when Parliament so wills it. So, while I agree that the legacy of the monarchy is flawed, so too are the legacies of the democratic and independent governments that have done little to redress the wrong done over several centuries. As for the personal legacy of the Queen, adherence to duty and service for 70 years, with no thought or hope of retirement, is something I do respect....See MoreWhat happens if an old person fails that medicare cognitive test?
Comments (62)@Annegriet You and your other coworker are a very good friend to that person. That’s a really tough situation. Staying engaged in some kind of social interactions - in person not online only - is really so very important for all of us. Independent living retirement communities are mostly good places for socialization but a person still needs to open their apartment door & make an effort to participate. Cost is a major deterrent for many - maybe for your friend too? The gym my DH & I go to is one of several community centers my city has. I’ve seen the very busy senior center in this facility with card playing groups, sewing etc. My city also has bus transportation options if driving is an issue. Maybe exploring options like that with your friend would give her the courage to get out and be more active?...See More- 6 years ago
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