A standard, but nice photo. Back in the 1870s, exposure speeds had improved. In good light, speeds of 1/50 sec were possible, but in a studio setting with lighting less than outdoors, the speed was more likely 1/25 sec which is getting a bit slow, but still practical. However, the subjects would have been instructed to 'freeze' just before the photographer snapped the shutter. The problem was that it was not many years before this when long exposures were required, and that idea persisted in the general population long after shutter speeds were upped. People holding a pose for several seconds struck a pose they thought they could hold without moving. A nice smile is fleeting, changes, and produces a blurry photo when the exposure stretches over several seconds. Also, a family picture was serious business, so a dour expression was common. In the early days of photography, studio portraits made use of 'props', literally, real props. The subject's back was held against something to help the person to hold still. This may have been a heavy rod that was hidden by the subject's body. Some of the dour expressions reflect's the subject's attitude about having their picture taken.

This is another recent find: My stepmother, age 3, with her maternal grandmother in Scotland. The back of the photo says "Marion with Wee Granny." I guess this grandmother wasn't very tall. :-) Wee Granny's name was Marion Orr Hughes. Her daughter Mary emigrated to America with her new husband shortly after their wedding. They returned with their children--a boy, 4, and a girl, 3--for a visit several years later, but never went back after that. It must have been so hard for the parents in the old country . . . no email, no Skype, no jet travel. I've often thought the same thing about the parents of American pioneers. To see their grown children and grandchildren venture out in a covered wagon, not knowing what might befall them. Anyway, here's little Marion and big (or not) Marion.

Dear ccbay, I can relate to the picture thing. My DH would never put up a picture of the ex who left him for another man. However SS would. Yes, shortly after DH and I purchased our home together SS who lived with us(who was 17 y.o. at the time)came with a large high school graduation picture of bio mom. This had just been given to him by bio mom. SS displayed the picture near the main door of his bedroom for everyone to see as they walked by. DH's Mom (SS grandmother) and family came to visit and questioned why it was up. I just shrugged and said SS brought it and left it at that. The next time DH's Mom (my dear mother-in-law) came to visit she gave me DH large graduation picture and baby picture, which I display near the main door in my bedroom for all to see. I guess it is better to say nothing and pray that if one turns the other check only good things can happen to that person and others will see the real truth. I would be hurt by what your DH is doing. I know I was hurt by my SS actions, but then realized that bio mom had something to do with it. Also, SS was having mix emotions as stepkids do. Hang it there and talk with your DH on what your needs our, realize he is have some emotional problems, and say many prays. That is what I do. Good luck, louisedawn

Well Momof5angels, can I share my touchy pictures-of-mom-and-dad story? I have the same situation, except it's not one picture, it's a bedroom full of pictures like this. Childhood pictures of the three of them, or pictures and drawings of just her mom. I think I'd be more understanding if (from all their accounts, I've never met her) she was a loving wonderful mom. They tell me she was/is a drunk, a user, a seller, and had several BFs behind dad's back. One of SD's complaints is that her BM would come home from work, go to her room and ignore all 3 of her children. Dad made major life changes and wanted his then wife to clean up her act too. She didn't want to leave her BF and partying ways, so he divorced her and they shared custody. (Only the SD is his. Other 2 were fathered by someone else.) Five years later, I enter the picture. Dad has since gained full custody of his then 14 year-old daughter. It was SD's choice to leave mom's filthy, unkept house where the live-in BF hung around drinking all day. Well, my custody arrangement w/ my ex requires that I live in my current town. I let my then-just-dating guy know this immediately and he let his daughter know she'd have to choose whether to live with us (4 hours away) or stay at her mom's. BM flipped out! She threatened to have a friend of hers come over to the dad's apartment (while we were house hunting) and rape her own daughter to punish her for even thinking of moving away! What kind of mom threatens her own daughter to have some thug rape her as punishment? Well, SD decided to come live with us. (14 then, 19 years old now.) I know it's hard to leave your home town and move away from friends! (I'm a former military wife, moved 20+ times over 9 years!)We made all sorts of accomodations to try to ease her pain of having to move away: taking her back for every school holiday and summers to visit her friends and family. (Expensive!) Unlimited Internet and cell phone access to her friends/family. I certainly don't expect SD to deny her past! I want her to treasure the happy moments, like we all do from our childhood. BUT! We all eventually move on into adulthood. I was a professional photographer and we have TONS of current photos of all sorts of family functions. I do scrapbooking, painting, collages, sewing etc. and have let her know she can invite friends over from her new school or our new congregation for any of these or other activities, but no. For the first 2 years of our marriage she spent her free time online or talking to all her old friends w/very little effort to make "new memories" to hang on the wall. I talked with my husband letting him know I appreciate we all have previous memories to treasure, but she seemed stuck in "Little Girl Land" and was in denial. We had a discussion with her once to encourage her to do things with us, make new friends, start taking the steps to becoming a young lady. She bawled (literally) about "not having a childhood." She was 18 then and had no plans regarding her future. A job? College? Move out eventually? I'm just the meanie "not letting her have a relationship w/ her dad." Our parent-child relationships evolve over time. She was 18 then w/graduation just weeks away and it still hadn't dawned upon her to make plans for schooling or employment!It's not that she doesn't know, it's that she doesn't want to learn ... at least not from me! I was stunned. Oh yeah, you had a childhood, I told her. Unfortunately, it was pretty crappy since your BM neglected all 3 kids! (So why is she the one STILL adorning the walls?) I try to be understanding that since BM didn't teach SD any personal hygiene skills or etiquette, it isn't automatic. But, I ask my husband, she's been living with you for 4 years now. So why does she still belch w/o saying 'excuse me'? Spit phlegm out the window? Take food of my plate? Keep her room in total disarray? I'm "the bad guy" for expecting her to not sleep in till noon, take a shower and be presentable every day, (not just when we'll go to services), further her education so she can become self-sufficient some day, and bother to include us in her major life decisions? I'm the one driving her back and forth twice a day to two different schools so she can take foreign language classes, to doctor appointments, etc. I don't WANT to replace her mother. I want her to learn from my varied experience, not criticize my cooking, home decorating, etc. I love her dad, and she's part of him. I guess it must be crappy to have to accept that your mom is a disappoint. Maybe she feels she'll be disloyal to mom if she likes me? I wonder this because now she does do things with other people here. And I mean other people MY age(40), not just with other teens. She goes to their house to watch movies, eat dinner, etc. I ask her dad, how does letting her do this promote family unity? Sure, I think these other women are great friends to have, but now even they replace me and take her to functions I should. They'll have some congregation event and my SD, not me, is the one invited to share a dish. Am I the wife, or is she? Example: I recently invited my husband to go to bed early for once, so we wouldn't be so tired for our "private time." His response? "When do I get to spend any time with (SD)?"(They spend hours watching movies together almost every night of the week!) Anyway, I'm going on and on ... guess it's not just the pictures of "Mommy Dearest" still on the wall that bother me. BTW, I am also a high school teacher and deal with some pretty rough teenagers every day. My students send me cards, give me hugs (nothing inappropriate) and say "thank you" for sharing life's hard lessons. My husband's response to discomfort over walls of BM photos? "It's her room." Excuse me? If my 18 year-old or 9-year-old hung a photo of their father, or our former family, in "their" room, I would talk with them about part of healing is moving on. My girls' dad left me for another woman, has since left her and is now shacking up with a third. (I only hear this through the grapevine, I don't ask!)So does he have a place in my home? No. In their lives, yes. Hang those pictures on your apartment walls, not my house. I gave my ex tons of family photos to give to our daughters, but no, those will not hang on the walls of where my current husband is to be respected. Am I being too sensitive? What do you all think? THANKS! No one I know personally understands this from their own experience.