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yeonassky

How do you cope with the things you don't like about where you live?

yeonassky
last year
last modified: last year

This came to mind because of the where do you live by two 25acres. To counter any complaints I have about the weather I wallow in it and embrace it all! I spend most of my time outdoors. Primarily that involves walking dogs and gardening. So you can expect me to wear galoshes and rain pants and heavy duty rain jackets daily during rainy the season. The gardening around here is almost four seasons. For that I am busy mostly during spring summer and fall. My DH is a whole other story! He has seasonal affective disorder which was actually diagnosed by a real doctor. :-(. How he copes is he takes medicine during the fall winter and spring. Plus he had to change his career as he could not no longer work inside. He was a good programmer and mathematician and had to give all that up and get outside daily. The medicine barely counters his symptoms but being out in daylight even cloudy daylight counters the symptoms he has from SAD. We tried living in other places but he would have to move to the equator full time for it to help. As an aside I am trying to get him to go back to school to do his maths as he loves it. He could do it part-time. He talks mathglish or whatever you call it. I spend a lot of time going cross-eyed and then telling him to back up and explain his formula :-) Anyway back to the subject at hand what do you do to cope with Winters springs summers or falls: whatever season, or seasons, that bothers you the most.Sorry about the mangled post it won't let me do proper paragraphs.

Comments (46)

  • gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
    last year

    Weather here doesn't bother me at all. But the congestion and traffic increasingly does the older I get. I just avoid it as much as I can, which is not that hard where I live......I just avoid going into the city.

    yeonassky thanked gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)
  • desertsteph
    last year

    I'm in mid AZ so the majority of all 4 seasons are good here. in the summer it can be difficult to be outside a lot usually about 10 am - 6 pm or so. A lot of people do spend a lot more time outside then than I do now. the heat is harder on me now that I'm older. and I no longer have a pool. there's a week or 2 in the winter that can get a bit cold but even that is usually in the middle of the night. and there are areas in AZ that don't get the extreme heat. today I can wear a t shirt and shorts outside.... later tonight I'll want light long pants and maybe long sleeves. if the dog wants out after 10 pm I'll put my cape over my pjs to take her out. soon tho there'll be nights I'll put on a heavier jacket and my garden gloves to take her out. I might even pull my former/late MILs cashmere coat out of the back closest and wear it to take the dog out when it gets down to 50 or less. it's full length and will cover more of me.

    I will be pulling my sweats of their storage bin shortly, I wear them a lot in the winter months. Nov - May are good months to do outside work here.


    yeonassky thanked desertsteph
  • DawnInCal
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I have lived in California since I was two and I have never liked the extremely hot, dry summers. My dislike for hot weather is becoming more intense as I get older to the point that I rarely go outside in August (our hottest, most miserable month). It's not just the heat, it's the insects, dust and super dry air that gets to me.

    We have resolved this issue by vacationing in cooler locations for the entire month of August and the first two weeks of September. We particularly like going over to the northern coast where we rent a house and live like the locals during those six weeks. We've been doing it long enough now that we've made friends over on the coast and we look forward to seeing them when we visit that area.

    Hubby is the complete opposite of me and can't stand the cold, rain and snow. January is our snowiest, bleakest month, so we also leave home for that month and go somewhere warm. This year, I've rented a condo on the beach in San Diego for two weeks. We are thinking of taking a two week cruise down the Mexican coast after we leave the condo. By the time we return in February, signs of spring are starting to appear - the days are getting longer and warmer, the daffs start popping up and we start seeing the sun much more often.

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  • OutsidePlaying
    last year

    In the south we traditionally have not, humid summers. Generally we have a lovely spring though it can be rainy, and a beautiful autumn. Lately we have extremely rainy springs, and long, hot summers. Of course we have central a/c but I love to garden and be outside and it is just unpleasant in August. I can stand it a while, but these too-long heat waves are getting tiresome. Meanwhile, I get things done inside, like cleaning out closets, drawers, reorganizing things, and painting rooms. Although we hire out the big jobs, I don’t mind painting a small room myself.

    I also do a lot of volunteer work, and work at our botanical garden and attend meetings so am out of the house a lot. We also traveled to a cooler location in late August this year, so that was nice for 2-3 weeks. We will likely do that again Now that DH has his new hip and shoulder.

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  • Bookwoman
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Like gardengal, our biggest complaint is the traffic. Whenever possible, we take the commuter train into the city (Philadelphia). It only takes half an hour and is so much less stressful than driving. One of the things I like about living where we do is the availability of public transportation.

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  • desertsteph
    last year

    the congestion and traffic increasingly does the older I get. I just avoid it as much as I can, which is not that hard where I live

    same here. I time when I go out to be before schools get out or work traffic going home. I usually go to town on weekends. Sundays are less traffic. I moved out into the desert to get away from that mess. sadly, over the yrs 10s of thousands of city folks have moved out here and destroyed the desert / wildlife and its peace and quiet.


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  • Marilyn_Sue
    last year

    There is not much that bothers me. I do what I can and be happy with it. I am very grateful for what I have and my family.

    Sue

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  • Kathsgrdn
    last year

    When Winters or anytime for that matter, I find myself getting depressed I realize I've been cut off from the outside world and have to make myself go out. Even if it's to watch a movie alone or eat in a restaurant by myself or go for a walk alone. Just being out and doing something semi active helps. I really hate the Winters the older I get. It's just miserable. I would move to Florida but I hate the heat and humidity down there too. California is too expensive. I could move to Arizona but I think I'd miss the green. Traffic in the city I work in can be really awful so I try to avoid rush hour traffic when I'm off and have to go to the city. I forgot this last week when I met a friend for dinner. What a nightmare. Started out and the trip was only 33 minutes long. By the time I got there it had turned into over an hour due to the traffic at dinnertime. She lives in the city and she only made it there a few minutes before me!

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  • eld6161
    last year
    last modified: last year

    My take on this question is not about the weather. That is something we can't change.

    I don't like how my neighborhood has become younger. Once a neighborhood of modest-sized homes, slowly they are being replaced with houses triple in size.

    How I cope. I try not to think about the neighbors and friends that have moved on. I have made it a point to join a women's group and a book club. I try to say yes more than no to invitations.

    We would love to move on, but don't have the slightest idea where. DH is connected to the NY area with real estate investments.

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  • Fun2BHere
    last year

    The influx of people during the summer and school breaks is getting me down. It takes forever to accomplish errands because of the traffic. I start early in the morning, but so many places don't open until 10:00 a.m. that it's difficult to do all errands without hitting traffic on the way home. That situation is one reason I want to move to a different town with different traffic flow.

    As for the weather, I'm only uncomfortable when it's over 90º F. for several days in a row. When that I happens, I do whatever I can to stay cool and get a little grumpy because I don't sleep well. Luckily, it's not a common occurence.

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  • dedtired
    last year

    I grew up here and have seen so much change. Most of it makes me grind my teeth as condo buildings or townhouses are sandwiched in at every vacant space. The congestion and traffic are just awful. The roads here are old and never meant for so much traffic. There really nothing I can do about it, so I try not to let it get under my skin although it’s difficult. The other thing that bothers me most is the horrible slovenly neighbor right across the street. I do report bad problems to my township but beyond outright violations, nothing can be done.


    I think about moving but like Eld, I wouldn’t know where to go.

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  • nicole___
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I relate to eld6161. The weather isn't a problem at all. I'm very adaptable, it's the people. I need to join a gym. Get back into doing yoga again. Maybe a spin class?

    It's been a year. I'm not finding a "fit" yet....with the people in THIS neighborhood. I'm usually busy working. I'm getting caught up. Or, have time between projects and I just don't "blend in" here(Black Forest Colorado). I was in Manitou Springs Colorado, was fine except the marijuana sales became legal. A park opened up & people poured onto "my" property. The herds of deer, bear, bugs increased 100x. I needed a bigger garage for my business.

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  • DawnInCal
    last year

    eld, you reminded me of something else I don't like about my area and that is the influx of pot growers (mostly illegal) since pot was legalized in California. I try to put it out of my mind which is probably why I didn't think of it with my original post.

    Unlike the peaceful hippies of the 60's, these people have no interest in being good neighbors (with a few exceptions), do not care for the land, cut down large swaths of trees, take water illegally from creeks and streams to water their plants, poison the wildlife and many live in tents or trailers with no septic systems and dump their trash illegally.

    During harvest time, which is now, the trimigrants arrive to work trimming the plants. Most live a transient life style and bring an element of people who sleep in the parks, pee in the streets, are aggressive panhandlers who care only about their next high. The crime rate (both property and violent) in this part of rural California has increased dramatically in the last few years.

    I really miss being able to walk down the street without being accosted by people who are either too high to know what they are doing or who want money. I miss being able to go outside without smelling pot and/or pot smoke. I miss being able to leave my car door unlocked while shopping.

    I look forward to the day when big companies like Phillip Morris start growing on large commercial farms and put these growers out of business. That day can't come soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

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  • kadefol
    last year

    DawninCal, they are poisoning wildlife? That is terrible, why do they do this? Can't law enforcement crack down and put them out of business?

    I am 57 and the older I get, the more I hate temperature extremes. Husband feels the same way. Winters are pretty mild here but we still get below freezing temps and ice. Summers are very hot, dry, long and uncomfortable. And COL is high as well. We want to move in a couple years, but still trying to decide where to.


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  • DawnInCal
    last year
    last modified: last year

    kadefol, they put poison out because the wildlife eat the pot plants. Rodents are the main target, but then animals such as owls, raccoons, foxes, and higher on up the food chain eat the poisoned animals and are poisoned themselves. The Pacific Fisher which is a member of the weasel family and is a threatened species on the west coast has been particularly hard hit.


    Law enforcement do their best, but they are outnumbered by both the sheer amount of land involved as well as the number of illegal grows out here. A tremendous amount of pot is grown in what is known as the Emerald Triangle which is made up the three N. Cal counties (Humboldt, Trinity and Mendocino), but the grows are a problem all the way to the Oregon border.

    I don't want to hijack the thread, so I have provided a link to an interesting National Geographic story about pot and poison on public lands, but this also happens on private land. If you are further interested, there are 100s of stories about this issue. Just google illegal pot grows and poison and you'll get all kinds of hits (no pun intended!).


    National Geographic: Pot and Poison

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  • wantoretire_did
    last year

    So many references to « here », but where?

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  • DawnInCal
    last year

    Sorry, wantoretire. The North State which encompasses the area north of Sacramento, California to the Oregon border.

    yeonassky thanked DawnInCal
  • yeonassky
    Original Author
    last year

    Hijack away! I enjoy our conversational slides. Plus I I think of living conditions part of the climate of places anyway. I wish I had ways to make everybody happy. Thank you for all of your answers.

    For me I am so used to the driving that I don't even think twice on it. I must have to drive for a couple of hours every day at least; to and from home and also from client to client. Also with regards to crowds for some reason I really am in my own head a lot and hardly notice them. :-).

    I don't know if anybody wants to edit to add where 'here' is for them? Want to retire has requested that. It's also a good point so we can know whether we want to move from hot to cold or or vice versa. :-).

  • rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
    last year

    Hahaha, when I read the title of this thread, weather was the last thing I thought of! I'm living in Alabama.

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  • blfenton
    last year

    Where I live it's about to start raining and won't let up until April but that's what gortex is for. We still run and hike in the trails even on the monsoon days. The traffic is horrendous and if I'm not home by 2:00, who knows when I'll get home.

    But I don't want to shovel the weather and I like living in the city so I'll take the rain and deal with the traffic.

    To leave where I live and go beyond, you have to cross one of two bridges and it is rush hour pretty much all day on those two bridges. I seldom leave.

    @yeonassky - I live on the North Shore so you know what I mean about the traffic.



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  • jemdandy
    last year

    When it snows, I shovel it and wish that could have been able to have raked the leaves off the front lawn. When the weather turns horrid outside, I will use that time to relax or do inside fix-up chores. As a home owner, there is always something that needs attention.

    After the snow, I might go out looking for photo opportunities, but still wish that my two mature maples out front had dropped their leaves before the snow arrived.

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  • stacey_mb
    last year

    I live in Manitoba in Canada, which is pretty well the geographic center of Canada. The weather is often extreme - very cold winters and very hot summers. We love it here, though, and have resisted temptations to move nearer to family on the west coast and son on the east coast. The cost of living is more than reasonable and the way of life is very relaxed. Our neighborhood in particular is a comfortable niche in our city that's off the beaten track, yet close to walking trails, conveniences and public transportation. For entertainment, there is live theater, the ballet and opera, all easily accessed in our relatively small city.

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  • wildchild2x2
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I am content with my neighborhood. It has changed of course. Used to be full of children and stay at home moms. However I like my neighbors, new and old. But go over just a few streets and you see the problems of a poorly run city. Homeless, trash, bad roads and worst of all overbuilding of multi storied apartments on every inch of land they can grab. So for me it comes down to politics. I don't agree with them, I don't trust that people will get their heads out of their behinds and fix it before I am gone.

    So I focus on my immediate neighbors and location location location. I can escape to the beach in less than an hour during non commute times. I am 20 minutes away from driving on rural roads with trees and hills and ranches. If I go north I can be in the northern mountains that follow the shore.

    Bottom line is we are surrounded by nature's beauty just minutes away. We used to be known as the Valley the Hearts Delight. Now the tech boom has renamed us. But they ain't got them all.

    Most of all for me are the horses. This is a late life interest. I am happy riding but I am also happy to just drive to the ranch and go out into the pasture and watch or hang out with the horses. Then there are the endless trails to ride and explore. My dog,beach,horses. Takes care of all the blues pretty much.

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  • functionthenlook
    last year

    What I don't like where I live is the hilly terrain. Straight flat roads are rare. So winter travel is sometimes breath holding when it snow covered and if it is ice travel is pretty much impossible. We have the steepest street in the US. There are streets that are closed all winter because they are too dangerous for salt trucks to clear. We usually cope by staying put. We use the phrase "weather permitting" a lot when making plans. Our saving grace is we don't get tons of snow at one time and are in a freeze thaw cycle all winter.

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  • littlebug zone 5 Missouri
    last year
    last modified: last year

    I live halfway between Kansas City and Des Moines in the rolling hills of north Missouri, in a very small town. Our town is dying - we have lost some major industry over the past 30 years. Our only motel is closing tomorrow, and it’s 25 miles to the nearest Walmart, jewelry store, and shoe store. Over an hour to a real department store like a Dillard’s or JCPenney. We have 3 dollar stores and 2 payday loan places. We have a nice home in a nice neighborhood, but I’m beginning to worry we will never be able to sell it for what we paid.


    The weather last winter was appalling - endless snows and 5 inch ice on my driveway clear into March. But the rural countryside is beautiful for 8 months out of the year. Fields of crops, pastures of cows and sheep, horses running through belly-deep grass. Fishing and hunting and hiking and boating.


    Someday we have to leave this town though. There’s not going to be anything left. My BIL and his wife live in eastern Oklahoma in a nice area. That’s quite a bit further south with much shorter winters. I’m thinking that’s a possibility for us.

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  • jemdandy
    last year

    Don't forget that eastern Oklahoma has more tornadoes than you do and its summer is hotter. The months of July and August are oppressive. However, I do understand the desire to vacate a dying town or a place you are not satisfied with. The gardening and farming season in Oklahoma begins a month earlier than your location.


    If your town is going downhill income-wise, it is best to sell now rather than after it has completely died. However, elder care may cost less in a depressed income region compared to a more vibrant one.


    (On my mother's side, I had uncles and aunts who lived near Shawnee, OK. Most have either passed away or moved away. What remains are a couple of cousins.)

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  • lily316
    last year

    I've never lived a day out of Pennsylvania but the seasons have changed drastically since I was a kid. Every month breaks a heat record and every month is always way above the average for that time. I hate the summers and stay inside. Besides the double of the 90 degree days this year, we had a few 100's always with hideous humidity. I was on my porch a few days ago with a long-sleeved shirt on and two mosquitoes landed on my arm. Hopefully the frost last night and tonight killed them We have few months when we can go outside and not be threatened by ticks and mosquitoes which both carry dreaded diseases. >>The traffic around here is a nightmare any more so we try and go out in off times but some times it can't be helped. Unlike most people, I love winter. I love that it's 32 now when I sweated two days ago walking the dog when it was 76 and humid.

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  • functionthenlook
    last year

    Lily are you by Philly?

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  • kadefol
    last year

    Dawn, thanks for the information and the link. That was sad and infuriating to read and sounds like it's going to be a persistent problem.

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  • whatsayyou18
    last year

    The only thing that bothers me about the state I live in is that it has been discovered. We have hoards of out-of-staters arriving every day primarily from an unnamed state which begins with a C and ends with an A. Congestion is now a problem, culture and politics changing not for the better. because, you know, they want to make it more like it was from where they came but couldn't wait to leave. We deal by being open to a move and keeping our eyes and ears open. There's still so much we love about our state and leaving would be difficult.

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  • Uptown Gal
    last year

    If I have a day when (to myself) I say, "I hate this State because....." I stop

    and remember why I am here...my immediate family is here. Nothing is more important to me. And, if I want, I am close enough to my home State to go visit if I want. And, moving around a lot when I was younger helped me, too.

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  • Chi
    last year

    I live in Southern California and I love much about the area. My least favorite is the congestion. There are just so many people everywhere as housing is very condensed in this area. We are also fast becoming a tech hub, which is great for the economy but makes it virtually impossible to park anywhere. If my co-workers want to go to lunch, we have to go at 11 or 2 to get parking spots. I have to plan my errands around certain hours or it's just too frustrating.

    Very first world problems!

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  • chisue
    last year

    I know that 'elders' always bemoan the present times, but I'm glad to have traveled over the US and abroad many years ago. I can remember them as they were. Most cities I see on TV look nearly interchangeable -- their special aspects dwarfed by tall buildings. People's clothing looks so drab in street scenes. We used to goggle at the little 'personal space' between people cramming trains in Japan and the deep smog over Chinese cities. That's not just 'over there' today; it's everywhere urban. Even our public parks are awash in people! The sunset panorama over Manhattan at the end of a TV newscast makes me want to start a pool: When will the island sink under all that weight?

    I know I'm just old and nostalgic. I know I don't want to 'go back' to living in my grandmother's shoes, surviving on a tiny farm with a wood stove and no running water -- just a pump in the yard -- helpless against the TB that was killing her mother sole surviving sibling.

    Times change.

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  • Michael
    last year

    and remember why I am here...my immediate family is here. Nothing is more important to me.

    Me too! My 3 grandchildren live 9 minutes walking distance from us. You think I care what's going on elsewhere? Nope!

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  • DawnInCal
    last year

    You're welcome, kadefol.

    I have nothing against pot or people consuming pot in its various forms and the majority of voters wanted the legalization. Unfortunately, most of them are city dwellers and I don't think they gave much thought to where the pot comes from, how it's grown or the impacts to both the environment and the small communities that have been affected.

    I will step off the soap box now. It's a beautiful fall day and thinking about this too much depresses me. Off to stack some firewood, clean up the potted plants and work in the studio.

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  • PKponder TX Z7B
    last year

    The two things that I have to cope with are late summer heat (sometimes humidity) and traffic. I just avoid the outdoors when it's unbearably hot and move from the air conditioned car to the air conditioned home or office. Traffic has to be planned for. It takes me 30 minutes to drive 10 miles to the freeway in the morning and another 15 minutes to get through 12 miles of fast moving traffic to work. I just leave early and never plan on being back home before 6:15 pm. I know all the back streets to get to my shopping places and they are only a few miles at most away.

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  • Lukki Irish
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Fortunately, there isn’t very much that I don’t like about where we live, but boy was I ever miserable when we lived in SoCal. Not only did the constant heat make me B*tchy, but my DD lived 2,000 miles away so I never saw her, we couldn’t afford to buy a house, yet we paid a fortune in rent, we lost half of our together time to traffic and there was no place we could go to escape the crowds. Michigan wasn’t really on my list of places to move to, but in the end, it was the smartest decision we’ve ever made. I love living in the country and having four seasons!

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  • Elmer J Fudd
    last year

    lukki, your "miserable... constant heat" in SoCal suggests you were living inland. Farther from ocean= hotter in summer, cooler in winter. Much of the area isn't like what you've described.

    Summertime in Southern Michigan? I've experienced the heat and humidity there. No thanks. I have a friend who grew in the Detroit suburbs. I once asked him his thoughts about the cold and snowy winters. His response was something like "I hated the winters but outsiders don't realize that the summers are much more uncomfortable. At least they were for me".

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  • Lukki Irish
    last year
    last modified: last year

    Nope, we were in a coastal town and within a 5 minute drive to the beach. Lots of ocean breeze, but still its hot all year round. Yes, Michigan has humidity and heat too, and yes it can be miserable to be in but it’s not in the 90’s or 100’s year round and we do reap benefits from that humidity like lots of rain (as opposed to droughts). Lawns are lush and healthy, plants and trees alike thrive here. It also never gets so hot that you can fry an egg on the hood of your car. Then there are the thunderstorms. When the humidity peaks, they come in for a quick shower to cool things down. Open the windows and that breeze with it’s smell of the rain is heaven. Say what you will Elmer, but as far as I’m concerned there is really no comparison. I’ll take Michigan’s summer of months of humidity along with it’s snow and ice in the winter over that dry relentless heat any day. I don’t miss it at all. LOL

    Forgot to add, I’m in one of those suburbs too, about 45 miles north of Detroit. When it comes to snow, it’s the perfect spot because we’re too low for the northern squalls and far enough north to miss the Ohio Valley Blizzards. We usually don’t get more than 6 inches at a time during the season. We live on a hill and the AWD on our SUV’s has no problem driving threw it, but the views are beautiful.


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  • Elmer J Fudd
    last year

    Where was it you were 5 minutes from the beach with 90s to 100s even in the summer much less year round? Nowhere immediately comes to mind to fit that description.

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  • jill302
    last year

    Interesting question. Basically I focus on why I choose to stay in So California rather than the things that make me want to leave. It boils down to my kids and my best friend are here. The things that make me want to leave I have little control over, so I just have to try to let them go for the most part. That said at times I fume over the things I can not change.

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  • jill302
    last year

    Forgot to mention my husband is also here, but if I would agree to leave he would shopping for another location immediately. He loves his kids but thinks he will have no problem living seeing them just a few times a year. I am more attached.

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  • OklaMoni
    last year

    I am snap dab in the middle of Oklahoma, cause my friends live here, and living here is affordable.

    No matter where one lives, one can not escape the weather, except to travel...

    I dislike the cold, cause during the cold season I hurt, unless I REALLY use my heater. On the other hand... I love temps in the low 80's, and keep my AC that high.

    Lots of time is spend outdoors, but early in the summertime to stay out of the worst heat, and later in the day, to enjoy a bit warmer weather in the winter.

    Moni

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  • wildchild2x2
    last year

    The hottest coastal town in Southern California is Long Beach or there-a-bouts. By hottest they mean a couple of months of low to mid 80s with a few days of high 80s as opposed to most beach towns that hover around the mid 70s on a warm summer day. Have to agree with Elmer. No way will you find a beach town on the entire California coast that hits the 90s much less triple digits unless it is an extremely rare heatwave. Plus in summer much of the coast has June gloom. You have to wait until around noon to see the sunshine much less high temps. California native here.

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  • Elmer J Fudd
    last year

    watchme, I don't think we'll be hearing back from lukki anytime soon about the 90-100 degree year round beach area in California she mentioned. First, it doesn't exist, as we both know well. Second, she sometimes has an overactive imagination and this may be a product of that. In the same category is suggesting that people move TO Michigan for the weather there and LEAVE California for the same reason.


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