And any chance you can get a new refrigerator? Those panels are bad. But the rest of the kitchen is nice.

Nancys refresh is really nice. If budget permits do hardwood floor. I think eclectic might be more realistic than "farmhouse". With sliding door and patio and suburban lawn.....better to leave the farmhouse for daydreams.

You can get more of your look but it will be easier if you embrace your love of blue and white and think less of gray:) On the plus side, newer design pics show lots of white, warm woods and less gray. I admit my least favorite thing about the kitchen is the paneled fridge followed closely by the over the range microwave which I could not even reach:)

Actually, The first thing I would do is nothing since this is a new to you home. Then you can assess what really is bothering you, and your husband may relent on some changes, and you may have a better idea of a budget.

In my own kitchen I did change the counters, subway tile backsplash and short apron Kohler Whitehaven farm sink. It is more vintage / cottage then farmhouse:

https://www.houzz.com/hznb/photos/my-pics-work-in-progress-phvw-vp~110720042

https://www.houzz.com/hznb/photos/my-pics-work-in-progress-phvw-vp~109854029

If I had your kitchen some things I would think about: Compromise with the husband - Keep wood cabinets and get new counter - maybe you will need to save up and do it in a year or so, but it is a pretty, functional kitchen so waiting is not a problem. If I had lots of storage, I might want to remove some of the cabinets on the window wall and put in a larger window or replace the cabinet to the right of the sink with shelves or a plate rail cabinet. I admit mine is more for decor then use - but I love the look. A carpenter can rework that cabinet into a plate rail cabinet. That is not cheap but if I could do that in my kitchen I would, but it is too small. I would look into whether or not ordinary doors are available for the fridge. I would replace the OTR Microwave with a vented hood. I would put up a pretty roman shade.

Here is my wood kitchens idea book. Maybe something will inspire. Some are new, others are older, refreshed kitchens:

https://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/75202366/list/wood-kitchens

Nice kitchen.

Consider pale yellow walls.

White cafe curtains with yellow floral design.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=E77E3083FAB33B88A58422A7CEF8AFE6EFE2F606&thid=OIP._l3ILwTmIgSMILmpveeeGAHaFi&mediaurl=http%3A%2F%2Fselahstudio.info%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F05%2Fyellow-kitchen-curtains-yellow-kitchen-curtains-flowers-yellow-kitchen-curtains-amazon.jpg&exph=708&expw=948&q=window+toppers+long+white+or+yellow+valance+w%2fcafe+curtain+&selectedindex=4&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6&ccid=%2Fl3ILwTm&simid=608037046054290055&pivotparams=insightsToken%3Dccid_8ZqO8QDSmid_EB0814416315A86B058E82865587E6126FD04A46simid_607991102780737712*thid_OIP.8ZqO8QDSfKwYojX9QFpQvAHaHa&iss=VSI

Large wood cutting board hanging from a brass cup hook on the side of the base cabinet by the exterior door.

Large pressed metal sunflower on the side of the island.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&id=3C5870A9D0AAFF5C4E6CD83B4FCEEC3566A27F31&thid=OIP.c3NIKQ4P15_XurwIXm8z4wHaIz&mediaurl=https%3A%2F%2Fs-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com%2F736x%2Fb9%2F0a%2F3b%2Fb90a3b57220fd846fe25be84e3811c0d.jpg&exph=533&expw=448&q=Pressed+metal+interior+sunflower+decor&selectedindex=12&ajaxhist=0&vt=0&eim=1,2,6

Usable sunflower trivet hanging from the overhead cabinet by the exterior door.

https://www.zulily.com/p/butterscotch-sunflower-trivet-137105-25788011.html

Yellow potholders and/or oven mitts and/or hand or dish towel (( checked or solid color or yellow floral or other print with yellow in it ) hung on the fridge w/magnetic hooks.

https://attic-dc.com/item/CzM/vintage-oven-mitt-pot-holder-kitchen-towel-set-of-3-matching-yellow-flowers-white-green-mid-century-1970s-retro-vintage-by-checkenginevintage/check-engine-vintage

You CAN tile over a granite back splash if it's not possible to remove it first https://www.houzz.com/discussions/747166/has-anyone-successfully-tiled-over-a-granite-backsplash

Removing the granite might damage the counter and the cabinets, plan carefully if you tile over it. I love marble or quartzite as a back splash but very few granites can make it look great. It would be a big change if you could introduce a new tile and a new paint color. ..and with time make the larger changes. I would add trim to the island (beef it up and add some detail) and paint it white (if you are doing a white farmhouse back splash).

First thing I would do is paint the walls. That will go a long way towards getting the kitchen the way you want it. Right now, it looks like walls are yellow. Yellow and yellow toned paints are the worst color for oak cabinets. For a bit more farmhouse look, you could try a lighter aqua, blue, or green, or paint it white and then put in your farmhouse accessories. Congratulations on your new home. Its a nice kitchen, and once you have it all decorated up, you should like it a lot better.

I agree about the wall paint; paint all the rooms now..

Paint the cabinets and replace/move all recessed lighting now; you'll never do it later but you might be able to change the counters later.

Add some trim to the blank end cabinet faces.

Hire a pro if you want the paint to last.

Thank you all for the ideas!! This is a great start. @Nancy Ingram your photo helps soo much to visualize..I feel like I've got a head start in this now! As I get closer, I will update more! @jhmarie you are right on the looks of woods and whites! I think I can totally incorporate that in here. Along with black accents since the faucet and hardware are a rustic dark bronze.

"he won't let me paint or change the counters" ?

Why? I can never understand husbands who tell their wives, "No. you can't paint these cabinets". Does he do all the cooking? shopping? dishes?

blue gray and white will not work with your current yellow, gold and cream tones. At all.

there is nothing remotely farmhouse about this, and you won't be able to make it farmhouse.

I suggest having a nice sit down w/your partner and explain what you want and why you want it. I don't know if you work, have a budget or whatever.

what you can do is keep things warm. try Italian or Spanish type of decor.

Save up for new countertops and backsplash. then you may be able to work in your farmhouse. (along w/some new floors)

Unfortunately, you have a beige kitchen. Beige floors, natural wood, beige granite. You are really not going to be able to make it a grey kitchen. You will have to research beige kitchens and see what colors you may like. With your countertop, you can go with a very light beige.