Sort of. When we remodeled our kitchen a year ago, I was second guessing myself. When I reminded myself that I had read, asked questions, and shopped til there was nothing left to see, all was good.

Ive learned to trust my vision over and over again throughout the years.

It's normal. BTDT several times over through all our building and remodeling projects over the last 20 years. Right now, you are acutely aware of every single detail - for good or bad. It'll probably take a solid year after you've moved in to realize that some of the things that bug you now, you aren't even thinking about anymore. You'll also realize that some of the things that you were insistent on probably didn't matter in the long run either nearly as much as you thought they did in the moment. For me, I was very insistent on getting beaded cabinet doors and having the cabinets constructed as full overlay but with extended side panels to make them look inset. Now, I couldn't care less :)

Yes! Hang in there, you are building a beautiful home. It doesn’t feel as exciting near the end because you’ve been watching every step. (And agonizing over every detail.) it’s like decorating a cake - by the time you’re done you don’t even want to taste it! But, once you get in and start getting settled you’ll feel at ease! Hugs, friend!!

Thanks. I could feel this starting this week.
shead I am already looking around andcasking myself why certain things felt so important and now I realize they arent at all. I coukd have saved us thousands.
Kate E thanks. Maybe Im just burnt out. I feel kind of blah about it all and feel I should be more excited and thankful. I mean I AM thankful but blah.

I think there is an official name for those feelings in these type of situations, but don't remember what it is!

I feel that way already and I haven't even started!

I don't think I realized how I was feeling till I read your post. We moved in our new build a month ago. We had workers here everyday for about one year. Now it is so quiet and no decisions to make. It's like you make friends and then they move.

Linda that’s a great way to describe it. You also spend at least one year thinking almost constantly about the house. Planning, selecting, meeting, etc. when it’s done it’s kind of like, “oh, well it’s just a house.”

Yes. I was the same way. We will be in the house 2 years end of December. Most of the things that were bugging me have faded. There are a few that still bother me. One being the light I chose for over our dining table. It is too small for the table and the space. It still bugs me almost 2 years in. I will get around to buying something else at some point.

At the end of every remodeling project I've done since we moved to KY (with the exception of my kitchen remodel!), I've just wanted them out of my house before they did anything else wrong, damaged anything else and made any more unholy messes. Just LEAVE!

I definitely feel all of those things. I am so burned out at this point I fear I’ll resent the house for it sometimes!

I think it's a common feeling , actually. It's a bit like post partum blues. All the anticipation, months of waiting and finally THE BABY . Who the hell is this little creature, and what if I don't love him or her? But you always do !

Anything ( any good thing ) that takes a ton of your time, causes angst and stress, takes over your daily thought process for a long time.........? They all come with a bit of a let down AFTER.

Moving, weddings, births, writing a book, getting a degree ......all of them. The sudden loss of the cause of your stress is weirdly stressful, and yes often results in a certain ambivalence. It will pass : )

I always tell my clients that there will be doubts along the way. It's kinda like running a long race. About halfway through when one is very fatigued and pretty beat up, both mentally and physically and the finish line is still a good ways off, thoughts of "What was I thinking?" and "I'm miserable!" goes through one's mind.

But when the finish line is crossed and a few days have passed, it's "THAT was an accomplishment!". Same with building a house.

And I know. Mrs. ARG and I have designed and built three over the years.

No matter what you do especially during or after a remodeling project most people will second guess the choices this is normal.

Bad enough you have to deal with these feelings on your own, on top of that you have people coming to your house and make more suggestions or what they would/wouldn't do or changed and it makes you second guess even more.

Being in the business building homes and selling them you see that all the time when homeowners make selections or when you walk people through already finished home and you always try to add certain features to the home and again... some love them, some would do something else, some don't like it at all.

When I was building my own house, was the same thing, you think you covered everything but there is always something I shouldn't have done because it was never used or something I should have done because 3 or 17 years down the road I could have used it... but at the time of construction you spoke about it but found it to useless or it wouldn't make any difference at the time.

So don't feel bad and enjoy your home because the good thing is, 3-5 years down the road anything can be changed, added or improved.

Good luck.

This especially!!!

" Bad enough you have to deal with these feelings on your own, on top of that you have people coming to your house and make more suggestions or what they would/wouldn't do or changed and it makes you second guess even more. "

Simple comments asking if something comes in a different shape or size makes me look at things in a negative light. It is amazing how someone else's innocent comment makes you second guess.

There are things I would already change. Seeing the master shower on paper, it looked fine. Seeing it with the cement board and tile starting it looks massive and I would have cut down the size and put in a closet. I feel the size is massive and ridiculous. many would love it...but they aren't cleaning it.

My mantle is too high and the cabinet under my sink was not big enough to house the 70/30 sink I wanted.

CP told me about the TV mount that can move so I guess that can help with the TV being too high. If my DH or I end up in a wheelchair I will be glad for the huge shower.

I am at the stage where I am looking at everything and thinking maybe I should have done this or maybe I shouldn't have done that.

I loved my backsplash tile and now I am even second guessing that. I think I could change my mind 100 times looking at other materials.

There will always be something we wish we would have done differently.

We were just so grateful that the opportunity became available to us to build in our dream neighborhood.

We had looked at homes here when we first moved to the area and our Realtor told us it was out of our price range. Oh well! Two years later we were able to build there.

Bad enough you have to deal with these feelings on your own, on top of that you have people coming to your house and make more suggestions or what they would/wouldn't do or changed and it makes you second guess even more.

I don't know about you but none of my friends would ever come into my home and do this!

Linda that is awesome you were able to build in yoyr dream neighnorhood. My DH and I have been planning this for over 5 years so maybe its just the stress coming to a head, hoping to be done on time, moving etc.
None of my friends have said anything. Its more the workers and some on here. Noone has been rude or hurtful. I get compliments, just innocent questions that make me question. Thats on me.
Ive had other things going on which have led to more stress. It will get better. I am very thankful.

I hear ya. I read the comments about not using subway tile for the back splash. Well we did 3 x 12

pearlized white subway tile. We tried different colors , shapes and this seem to go with everything the best. Still that small doubt is there.

Coming here to ask for help will get you many different answers....which isn't a bad thing. Everyone tries to help but everyone has their own tastes too. In the end we have to go with what we like.
I think once the stress of the next few weeks comesvand goes I will be thrilled. Its nice to know Im not alone.

We just finished a series of renovations that added a bathroom, redid another one and overhauled our entire first floor, including a kitchen. I’ve never spent so much time, money, or mental energy on anything other than my children. Now that we are at the end of it, I am definitely having feelings of let down, and as Kate E put it - “it’s still just a house.” While I am happy with what we’ve done and feel blessed to have the money to do it, I am definitely second guessing whether it was worth it. I feel this way even though I can see how the projects have greatly improved the function of our space. I’m not sure what more I was expecting, but I’d like for this feeling of ennui over the renovations to go away.

That was a useful chart but it forgot the Buyer's Remorse phase after occupancy. Its inevitable. Focus on the things you got right. Have a party and make a list of those who complement the house. Consider the others to be deficient in taste and manners.

Yes!!! We finished the kitchen last August and I’m still second guessing things! I do the same thing when I get home from the nail salon too! Haha It’s totally normal, I know I made all the right choices based on everyone’s feedback, and I don’t think there’s ever a perfect house anyway, so just relax and enjoy it as much as you can. By the way your house looks amazing!

"shead I am already looking around andcasking myself why certain things felt so important and now I realize they arent at all. I coukd have saved us thousands. "

I think this is why a lot of people say it takes 2-3 new builds before anyone ever feels like they got it "right." Our first new build was when we were in our 20's and I know that I had a ton of regrets after that 18 month long process. Some of those came because we had to sacrifice finishes in the end because of going over budget. Some came because I let form rule over function and was too worried about "keeping up with the Joneses" versus really considering the needs of MY family (which was quite smaller then, too :) )

I had a quite smaller list of regrets on our last big project (gut remodeled entire house) except for regretting obsessing over my kitchen cabinets as much as I did and also our shower size. It was too big at 4.5' x 6' but it had to fit in a certain space to make everything else work.

I think that's why I'm procrastinating so much on getting started on this upcoming project. I want to be even more sure that I'm getting it right this go around and focusing on my family's needs versus "standards." I'm planning to use IKEA cabs this go around and my shower will be 4'x5' (still plenty big). Heck, I'm even considering laminate countertops which I loathed having to "settle" for on our first house because the granite in our last house didn't bring quite the enjoyment and satisfaction I thought it would :/

I'm still dreading the months of headaches, decision making, etc. because I know that in the end, there will still be some sort of feeling of letdown, no matter how great it turns out. The feeling is definitely akin to postpartum blues.

I don't know if it's normal but I'm right there with you.

Here's the funny thing-I am in an apartment. While there are things about it I do not like I could live here if I had to for an extended period of time. I can be happy in a one bedroom apartment as long as my DH and rest of the family are all healthy. I am starting to think we just feel so much pressure for everything to be just perfect and in a home build or remodel things happen and we do not always get everything we want or exactly right. I have built other homes and done extensive renovation although my last one was to sell so I did not pick out what I would if I was staying for many years. I think knowing most likely this will be the house we die in or go to a nursing home is kinda scary. So even more focus on everything has to be right and perfect because this is MY LAST HOUSE. Maybe that is what this is - expectations not fulfilled.

shead I feel so very blessed to have the money to build this home and to get what materials I wanted. I do look around and think to myself "did I really need that?" In the end I do know none of these things are going to make me happy. It's who fills my home and the life we live there that make us happy. Once the stress of the timeline and move are done I think I will be very happy. Its just a funk from all the stress of the home and other every day life stressors. This too shall pass.