Can we talk about get togethers for a minute (friends and family)?

7 years ago

last modified: 7 years ago

We all love seeing our friends and family every so often, but everyone's schedules are so busy these days, and a lot of people don't like to travel. So, if you do want to get together with a friend or family member, how do you decide who has to travel? Distance doesn't really matter. Regardless of how far they are one of you will have to make the trip.

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Rosie

7 years ago

last modified: 7 years ago

When my sister (who lives on the east coast) and I want to see each other, she usually travels to see me because she is a flight attendant and flies for free.

A couple of times a year, I get together with a friend from high school and we meet at a casino/hotel that is halfway. We book a room, have dinner and drinks while catching up, do a little gambling, and because we are spending the night, don't have to worry about rushing home later or drinking and driving.

When my parents were alive, we usually traveled to see them. It was easier for us to go to them because they were more comfortable being in their own home and beds and not having to drive the long distance.

I think this is a question that doesn't have a one size fits all answer. Every one and every circumstance is different and depends on several factors in order to decide how it should be handled.

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Comments (16)

Zalco/bring back Sophie!
7 years ago
Circumstances and context dictate for me. If my life is easier at the time, I travel.
Fun2BHere
7 years ago
I'm not sure what you mean by travel. Do you mean a trip that includes an overnight stay or longer? In that case, whoever has the most time and desire does the travelling. If you mean travel within 2 - 3 hours to meet for a meal or activity, then we usually try to meet halfway.
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perennialfan275
Original Author
7 years ago
@Fun2BHere by travel I simply meant go to the other person's house. I realize this can mean many different things, but regardless of the time you'll be spending there, distance, etc how do you decide who should make the trip? For the sake of this discussion, let's pretend that you and a friend/family member both agree that you want to see each other (for the day) and don't live super far away (within an hour or 2 at the furthest).
maddielee
7 years ago
The person who invites the other over for lunch/brunch/dinner would be the one not traveling.
sephia_wa
7 years ago
I take turns with a friend who lives a couple of hours from me. One time I'll drive to her home, next time she'll come to mine. Or we've met in the middle.
Fun2BHere
7 years ago
@perennialfan275, as I mentioned in my original post, the friends that I have within a two-hour travel distance tend to meet me halfway. We've found restaurants in the area that is halfway between us, so that's usually where we meet. On the other hand, I have one friend who is only an hour away and I usually travel to her area because she needs to be close to home for health reasons.

DawnInCal expressed it well, "I think this is a question that doesn't have a one size fits all answer. Every one and every circumstance is different and depends on several factors in order to decide how it should be handled."
Texas_Gem
7 years ago
My husband and I are friends with a couple. Before we had kids, we would take turns, their house, then ours. When we had kids, they came to our house because it was babyproofed, I could put the baby down for a nap when needed, etc.

When they had kids, ours were older so we would go to their house for the same reason, easier to take care of baby at home. Now that all of our kids are older, we switch every other time. Well, except during the summer and then they generally want to come to our house, but that's because we have a pool.

When my brother was single and living in another state, it bothered him that he always had to be the one to travel here for holidays. I'm sorry but that's just practical. Why should me, hubby, our 2 kids and my parents all pack up and drive 6 hours to his house that wasn't even large enough to accommodate all of us when he could drive here?
User
7 years ago
I would suggest not staying at someone's house. People change and it is easier to breakup an stay if you are not staying at someone's house. 24 hours of togetherness can be more than a braking point in many friendships. If you start talking and decide to sleep over that is fine.
perennialfan275
Original Author
7 years ago
@Fun2BHere and as I mentioned in my second post (even though this is all hypothetical), I'm talking about either going to someone's house or them coming to mine. Surely that's not too much to ask. I mean, I guess it's ok to go to a restaurant sometimes, but they are VERY expensive and there's only so much you can do at a restaurant.
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Anglophilia
7 years ago
You’re making this complicated. If you want to see family or friends, invite them over for a meal or even just tea and cookies. They will then come to your house. If they invite you to their house, you’ll travel. I agree that restaurants can be expensive and may not be suitable is young children are involved.
natesg
7 years ago
We often meet halfway at a restaurant or a park. As far as coming to the house it depends on who it is easier for them to travel.
ratherbesewing
7 years ago
Perennial, I get the feeling someone in your situation doesn't want to travel. If you care to explain your situation, we can brainstorm some ideas. In any case, there is not a hard and fast rule. Some people don't like to travel, some don't like to be far from home, etc.
arcy_gw
7 years ago
The one willing does. What SMACKS you is when you are THAT ONE and after years of it, you discover the rest would NEVER reciprocate--it runs cold. DH and I first 15 years of marriage used ALL of our vacation for family gatherings--holidays mostly. After we would hear of the fabulous trips the siblings were going on. Once we decided to join to "family vacations" craze the trips to family had to decrease. Now we are persona non-grata because we CAN'T drop our lives and run to the events. sigh.
User
7 years ago
I just moved from a really cute mountain town to a forest, 45 minutes away. My old town had super cool eateries. Great views. Cute as heck little shops. Town clock. Traffic jams on the little streets. Tourists. GF & I still get together. I often volunteer to go back. Next week we're meeting in the middle.
OklaMoni
7 years ago
funny you asked....

I just got back from my travels for this year.

They consisted of visiting cycling and KT friends.

I chose to do the traveling, and had a GLORIOUS trip. :)

Moni

https://meanderdotlife.wordpress.com/

Can we talk about get togethers for a minute (friends and family)?

Rosie

Comments (16)

Zalco/bring back Sophie!

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Can we talk about get togethers for a minute (friends and family)?

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