Jo, thank you for posting this. I had an almost identical experience with a medium about 14 years ago. We could both be writing each other's experiences.

It was about 9 months after my husband died. I was carefully attending to my grief. That first year especially is full of trying to make sense of loss, how to move forward without denying the incredible longing and searching for meaning and comfort.

I had two work friends who'd also lost their spouses around the same time as me, so we formed a bond for a while. The woman had visited a medium and asked if we'd be interested in going with her. We were all somewhat skeptical but I figured, why not? Because, what if?

The gathering was held in what looked like a vacant former insurance office. Second floor, low ceilings. Zero spiritual atmosphere. We sat in a couple of rows of chairs, about 25 of us. The medium was a pretty blonde woman about 40, a soccer mom type. She described some experience she'd had that revealed her "gift" and we began.

Everyone took turns saying why they were there, who they lost. Then we said something about how or when we feel close to our lost loved ones. I remember saying how birds often feel like emissaries from beyond to me.

Although skeptical I was looking for something I hadn't already revealed, something she couldn't have otherwise known. Although open, I wasn't born yesterday.

I felt really sorry for a lot of people who were grasping for anything, ready to believe whatever she told them.

At the end she went down the line of people and spoke to each one. Clearly she'd been taking notes as we spoke. She told me to look for a white bird. I knew I'd mentioned birds and white birds aren't that rare where I live (egrets, seagulls).

As far as I'm concerned she didn't know carp about my departed husband. But I didn't get the feeling that she was a charlatan either. I think she genuinely felt she had a gift and was dispensing comforting words to people desperate for anything.

I've never been to a medium performance, but I'll tell you about my experience with a psychic. This happened over 30 years ago. I had gotten a new job and given notice at my old. It was also a few days before my 30th birthday. A few close work friends had a small party for me and invited a psychic to do readings. They chipped in for a free reading for me. Now, these friends knew me well and I'm pretty sure the psychic knew I was starting a new job and it was my 30th birthday. But she told me things my friends did not know. She did not ask me one thing about my past or even what I wanted to know. She just held my hands and started talking. After a few generalizations about great change in my life(duh.. new job), she started to get much more specific. She physically described one of my deceased aunts to a T and also talked about my somewhat dysfunctional relationship with her. She talked about my close relationship with my sister. Then she said that I would have a daughter who was very, very different from me. When I asked what that meant, she said she didn't know the details, but told me I would have problems with my children. Didn't know what to make of that at the time. My DH and I had just decided to start a family. 7 years and many miscarriages later, I adopted my daughter and son from Russia. My daughter not only has 100% different DNA but is as different a personality as can be. I don't have problems with my children... only the ones who were never born.

Most of my friends that day who had readings laughed them off. But 1 friend came up to me at the end of the night and said she was totally freaked out about how much the psychic told her.

I've been to a 'professional' psychics show and I was not disappointed in my confidence she was 99% BS. I think she's got a little 'shine' but mostly she's an entertainer. I think in those big setting like that they tend to do a lot of fishing, mainly for time and entertainment purposes. Imagine having an ability-how would you manage all that psycic energy in one place?

However, on the other hand, I have been touched by a couple people that I believe do have an ability to see beyond what we see in our consciouness. I've personally had things happen to me that I can't rationally explain, and I'm a real cynic.

I purchased a session with a pet medium after our dogs died and my DH was devasted. She was highly recommended and she was very humble, she explained that she doesn't always communicate and if she doesn't she'd refund our $ or give us another session later. But she went on to describe our dog and it was so funny, she described her showing her ice cream and she'd interpreted it as our dog was telling her she was so sweet. "She's sweet, like ice cream". We laughed because she WASN'T sweet, she loved eating ice cream with my DH every night. I know, she could just have been using the ice cream as a general refernce but I would not have used ice cream as a metaphor for sweet-I'd have used candy or pie. Other things she mentioned were very characteristic of that dog and she described our other dog to a Tee, and we hadn't given her any other information about them but their names.

I also have a cousin who is a medium. My DH is an empath and I've had visions or predictions that came true. I've also seen ghosts. But oddly, I'm a very scientific person and extremely cynical and require proof of things before I believe. So yeah, I know there are frauds out there-anyone good at reading subtle clues and when you cast a wide net you'll catch a lot, but I do believe that there are some who are genuinely gifted in this sense.

As a teenager I went with a group of friends to a tent revival that had a healer as a draw. We went to see what it was like, not as believers. We left shortly after the ‘healing’ was finished. In time to see 2 of those ‘healed’ outside the tent receiving what looked like payment for the performance.

I had a relative (via marriage) who was very ill with terminal cancer. He and his wife and parents were very involved in Pentecostal churches. They took him from what was practically his death bed to a tent revival/healing in a small California town that had a traveling tent show visiting.

His mother called me to tell me that after this "healing" one of the signs that your prayers were answered was that gold teeth would appear in your mouth! And she had new gold teeth that her dentist would swear he didn't put in there. God told her he would heal her son. It gave me the willies just listening to her. I think it was about the time the internet was getting going and I searched for info and there were all these testimonials that people now have gold teeth. (For the life of me I could never understand the relevance of the gold teeth - other than a sign from their god, I guess). Of course, her son died a couple of weeks later. Not sure what happened to the gold teeth.

I see it's still a "thing."

gold teeth

I love these stories. I've never been to see a medium, and I've never watched her show. I used to enjoy watching John Edwards' TV show. Real? Probably not, but it was entertaining. Does anyone watch Tyler Henry? I really like his show.

I have had several phone readings and one in person reading (same lady) from astrological charts. You give her your DOB, time of birth and city/state and she pulls up your chart. She also will do your DH, parents and children. It's actually quit freaky sometimes, the info she gives me is spot on and I do NOT tell her things in advance. There is no way she would know many of the things she has told me.

It was either the day we found my father, or the next day. He died by suicide. DH and I were about to leave his house. DH had gone to the master bathroom and I had gone to the powder room. I was walking to the kitchen to leave, and I saw a figure in the bevel portion of the foyer mirror. It looked like my dad. I stopped, walked backwards and forwards several times to see if I could see "it" again... or see what would have looked like a person. Nothing. The next week we picked up his autopsy report, and the clothing listed was what he was wearing when I saw him in the mirror. I did not see him the day we found him, and I had not asked DH what he was wearing.

Mom died exactly 6 weeks after Dad, and I've seen him in a couple of dreams. Always from behind. The last dream I had was with both of them and they were walking down a boardwalk. They turned slightly and waved goodbye. I haven't seen them since.

I have never been to a medium. Of course there are charlatans. But there are also people who hear from those that are gone.

I have an aunt, she died in approx. 1975. She had an uncommon name, let's call her Aunt Augusta. Coincidentally, my DH's brother's wife is also name Augusta.

In 2006, my son was very ill. One morning he woke up and said, "How come we dont go visit Aunt Augusta. She so funny." I said, "We will see her at Thanksgiving, she is coming with uncle Joe and your cousins, Peter and Susie." He said, "Not that Aunt Augusta, the other one, the one that smokes and laughs loud and has curly hair" That is my dead Aunt Augusta to a tee. No one has ever mentioned her existence in my son's presence ever.

It fascinates me how society evolves. We have all but jettisoned God from our lives and in His place we search. We rejected our creator the one true God who proved himself once and for all by sending His son to save us and instead we give credence to these charlatans, yoga, crystals, salt rocks. Entertainment is a good thing, I just feel for those who were there for other reasons,

What's wrong with yoga? I feel great after stretching out the muscles. Deep breathing is known to reduce stress, lower heart rate, and reduce blood pressure.

Confession time: I fell for TM (transcendental meditation) in the 60s. I remember my mantra.

I think they are awful people, making money from desperate people. When Chandra Levy was missing a psychic on Oprah said she was in the ocean. No, she was found in a park where she was jogging. It’s sick.

If there is "one creator", why are there so many different religions?

I've had many psychic experiences myself, including having dreams of what was going to happen in the future, and I had a dream of visiting the university campus that I was going to the day before I got there (and I had never been to that campus before), and in this dream I went up half a flight of stairs and then down half a flight of stairs ending up in a quadrangle. While I was having the dream, I thought to myself that it was very odd to have to go through these stairs to get to a quadrangle, but the next day when I arrived at the campus, I had the exact same experience that I had had in the dream. I tend to have very good memory retention of my dreams.

I believe that there are at least 10 dimensions and that we are mostly aware of four of them, with time being the fourth dimension. Beyond that, there are dimensions that we seldom are aware of, except during dreams and perhaps during altered states of consciousness. I think there is much more that we do not know about the universe than what we do know. There are several different ways to access parts of our consciousness that we are not usually aware of. Personally, I have always felt that dreams and imagination are real and part of reality; i.e., dreams exist and they are therefore part of reality, but not the four dimensional reality that we experience when we are not dreaming. I also believe that awareness changes with age and that children are more in touch with more dimensions than adults are.

I've had many experiences with what many consider poltergeists, and I am not sure exactly what these entities or energies are, but they are difficult to explain. There could be unexplained earth energies that have not been fully explored, but they do seem (to me) to have geographic specific locations. Since I live on/near many earthquake fault zones, that could be a possible explanation, but I have experienced things move by themselves even when there are no earthquakes, and I have not been able to explain how this happens. I have also photographed what appears to be moving energy fields, but I can't explain where these come from. The warehouse where I worked used to be a crematorium, and many people working there had strange experiences.

I think it is possible to travel in time to probable futures while dreaming, and that this explains prophetic dreams. Some people believe that the past still exists in other dimensions, but that it is still changing, and so if you travel back to the past, you visit the past as it is now - not as it was.

I read the Upanishads when I was in my early 20s, and I felt that I learned much from this but it is difficult to prove.

I've given many astrological readings, but I stopped doing that quite a few years ago. I also used to give Tarot readings, and I think that Tarot works similarly to I Ching, but using Western culture instead of Eastern. Tarot cards were invented as sort of one of the first books, to preserve cultural traditions. The cards are purposely ambiguous but contain references to the culture that they are trying to preserve. When reading Tarot cards, the reader asks many questions based on what is shown in the cards, and the person for whom the reading is done responds positively or negatively to the questions, but questioning is very important. Without the questions, one is not aware of what the answers may be, but by asking many questions, one's subconscious is stimulated and brought into consciousness. This is similar to what the mediums are trying to do, but they are less likely to admit it. It is also very similar to the processes that psychotherapists use - they know what questions to ask without having to use the cards, however, but the result is the same.

I have never been to a psychic or medium, but have had "spiritual experiences" of my own. I figure if those who have passed want to communicate with me, they can. A couple have. I don't need an intermediary.

I do know people who have been to psychics and swear they were told things that would happen in the future which did come true. I also know a woman who lost her daughter to suicide and swears she's able to communicate with her via medium. I smile and am glad she gets comfort even if I don't believe it.

However I will speak up for both yoga and meditation...both of which are really about the here and now, not woo-woo....both of which have scientifically proven physical and emotional benefits.

jojoco, strange...I'm white and patriotic and would never go see a medium perform. I don't understand your logic of this part of your statement above? Can you be more specific?

I wouldn't waste my time or money on a medium. It has nothing to do with religion for me, they just seem crooked and shysters, and the questions they ask can pertain to most anyone, in my opinion.

Jojo was saying that the audience was mostly white and patriotic, not that all white and patriotic people believe in mediums. Big difference.

My friend has a friend who supposedly communes with the dead. My friend goes to her regularly to talk to her deceased mother. The medium charges nothing for these visits. I am too much of a skeptic to go along with it.

Jo, I have a hard time picturing you at this event!

The experience I had with a medium was free of charge. I think it was to offer a taste and then folks might have been encouraged to continue the experience further, at a price. I don't remember.

For me it didn't take. As much as I craved a sign, it needed to be credible and not something she intuited from my physical self and what I'd briefly revealed while speaking. I was open to that, but she didn't deliver. She cast a broad enough net to snag some generalities that could probably be true for most people.

I know people who believe various things, and it's not my position to question them. I think judging others, especially from a religious perspective, demonstrates a closed heart and very limited critical thinking skills.

I have my own set of beliefs and experiences that guide me, and one of the strongest influences, for me, is nature. I also follow moon cycles and seasonal changes that influence us.

Will add my support to yoga and meditation as both spiritual and physical practices. Even TM when appropriately guided and not used solely for financial gain (which is, really, what this thread is about calling out).

ETA, my niece regularly sees a physic or medium (not sure which) that talks to her about her grandmother. My niece is the last person you'd think would believe in this, but she does. It gives her a lot of comfort and something to hold onto, so it's not a bad thing for her.

Olliesmom, are you referring to my description that the audience was overwhelmingly white and patriotic? I wrote that because I did not see a single person of color in the audience (and I had a birds eye view from the balcony) and also because the room swelled with the sound of audience members singing the national anthem. I would objectively describe that as a white and patriotic audience. I was going for the NPR style of describing the setting for all of you. But in retrospect, I wish I hadn't described the color of the audience. It had nothing to do with the show and my story doesn't change one bit by leaving out that detail. It is unnecessary and perhaps even detrimental. I always out people who use race as part of a description in a story. I'll always say, "the story doesn't change if you leave out the race" and yet I didn't take my own advice this time.

Ded, you're right, not really my cup of tea, but the friend whose house I was staying had tickets and I didn't want to sit (in a strange) home alone. So I bought a ticket online and went. And some people truly found solace in her words so I did have moments of great gladness for them, regardless of my own beliefs.

jojoco, I was actually enjoying your story and then when read that was just a little surprised is all. I give you kudos for going-unexpected things like that do have a way with opening your eyes and views on things.

There used to be a pet psychic on Sirius radio that I would come across at times and I just feel like the people who call in are so gullible and I could even be a psychic with the broad brush of questions they ask.

Allison, I watched Tyler Henry, only due to the fact of his celebrity guests, and most of the time I think his questions and info could be about anyone. There have been a couple of instances where I felt he knew things, but not for the most part.

I went to something similar once outside of Boston. Can't remember the name of the psychic. I came away feeling the same as you did, Jojoco.

Lars - your post is a fascinating read.

I've always been skeptical about psycics and mediums and the like, and I have no doubt many (most?) are charlatans and frauds. But I also have to admit that I've heard some stories, from people I trust implicitly, that can't easily be explained away. A few of my aunts went to a medium as part of a group of about 20 people. The chairs were arranged in a circle. One of my aunts is deaf in her left ear and sometimes has difficulty hearing with the right (in a crowded, noisy environment for example). As the group walked in and started taking their seats, the medium - a woman none of them had ever met before - made eye contact with my aunt, motioned to the chair to her left and said "you come sit here next to me so you can hear".

I don't know about communicating with the dead, because I don't know anyone who claims to have such a gift. However, the night my mother died I had an odd thought which definitely did NOT come out of my brain. Perhaps my deep subconscious, but then only the part that was influenced by my mother's DNA. My brain called my father by name, which I don't ever do, and was praying for him to find peace, something else I don't do (pray, at least in the traditional sense). The words of the prayer popped up out of the blue I was not even thinking about my dad, his name or prayer. That was the one and only time I've ever felt any communication from my dead mother. It was just a brief thought.

Two years later a very close family friend died, and I was pretty bummed about it. She had lung cancer. Her husband had died maybe 30 years prior and I barely knew him, maybe was around him a handful of times, back maybe 35 or more years prior. So I was thinking about how bummed I was that she died in spring, just as things were starting to bloom outside, and she really loved flowers and nature. And then this ODD thought popped in to my head. I did not try to think it up. It was, "Don't be sad, I'm with Bob now." And it was so weird because I would have never consciously remembered her husband's name, only maybe heard it a few times in slight passing many years prior. And that was not a thought I would ever consciously have, I'm not religious. And the thought wasn't "Don't be sad SHE'S with Bob now," it was as if someone was talking to me and it was definitely "I'M" with Bob. If she wanted to get the message out for sure, picking me was the right person because I am a scientist and skeptic. Then later at the memorial her son mentioned how he had searched for some sign that his parents were back together, and he's not real religious either . . . I didn't expect to hear the son say anything like that at the time. I told him about the "message" I got.

One could explain both instances as weird little memory bits bubbling up through my subconscious, but they were completely out of character for the kinds of thoughts I normally have.

As a little boy, my DH lived in China, and one day, while in his grandmother's care, they visited a 'soothsayer.' She was a woman from their rural village, who was supposedly gifted with visions of the future. She told DH's grandmother that DH would move far from China, and travel across a great ocean, before he was an adult. He would marry a 'ghost lady,' (that is what they called a Caucasian female) and have 3 children.

She said he would have a boy, then a girl, then a boy. DH's grandmother was also told that DH's 2 sons would look like 'ghost fellows' but his daughter would look just like her great grandmother. This all seemed very far fetched, as no one in DH's family, having always lived in their remote village in China, had ever crossed a 'great ocean' before, and DH said he'd never even seen a Caucasian before, (until after he left China.)

Well, 6 years later, DH and another family member escaped from Communist China, to Macau. Then 7 years later, he ended up moving here at age 16, to attend a boarding school, so he could learn English, and then get his college education here. So in fact, he did move far from China, by crossing a great ocean, before he was an adult.

We met in our 20's and married. We had 3 kids, boy, girl, boy. Sure enough, I gave birth to sons who somehow exclusively inherited my (Irish) looks. Only our daughter looks Asian, but she doesn't resemble DH. She is however, the spitting image of DH's grandmother. It makes the skeptic in me concede, that perhaps some people actually are clairvoyant.

I think we do better when we do not distinguish people by the color of their skin, their sex, their patriotism, their clothing, their beliefs, and where they live and how they speak.

As to mediums, I've heard some. Some I think are complete fakes, some seem to have some connection other than every day perceptions and experiences most people have. If you don't run your life by these people and do not become consumed by them or by talking with the dead, I don't see a lot of harm.

Genuinely curious, not being snarky...is being patriotic a bad thing now? I love our country, and am so grateful to be American. I suppose I won’t stop being patriotic even if it is out of favor now. I literally just read an article about how it is considered rude to assume someone is the sex they have always been by using a pronoun like “she” or “he.” I am a little unsure about things in general in light of this.

I tend to be skeptical about things like mediums. But just bc it’s not for me, I certainly would never judge anyone who was comforted by visiting one.

While I am a skeptic, I'm sure I would have found the medium's performance interesting and entertaining.

And to nini's question, I think patriotism is alive, well and a positive thing. But, I also would have found it odd to sing the national anthem prior to this kind of event.

I wouldn't get upset about things I read that are just obviously designed to shock or get you to stay on the page longer or click something, etc. There's literally an outrage industry, I try not to feed the beast.

And when Jo described the event as being patriotic, to me it was just a description, neither good or bad, just interesting.

I agree with Ruby that it's odd to sing the national anthem prior to summoning the dead, and I probably would have viewed it as an attempt to pander to the audience as a means of trying to somehow put the medium in a favorable light. Personally, I would have been turned off. Going OT a bit, but I attended a few Toastmasters meetings, and each one opened with the pledge of allegiance. I found that so odd, particularly as several of the meeting members were not US citizens. (For myself, I will no longer recite the pledge.)

Ive had experiences with personal telepathy as well as spot on, as it turned out, predictions from a student of Edgar Cayce...many years ago. There’s much to be explored off he brain’s potential .

Hearing the anthem at a non-sporting event was a first for me. It did seem out of place but it was very well received, if you count group participation as an indicator.

Nini, I know you weren't being snarky. I suspect some would describe me as unpatriotic. I love my country dearly, but to me, being "patriotic" these days seems to be equated with being supportive of our current administration.If you don't support his policies, than you are considered unpatriotic. Ironically, I think the most patriotic thing anyone can do is to voice your opinion--even if it is not the one shared by those in power. Especially then..

Is this student of Edgar Cayce still around, Martina?

Totally agree, Jojoco! Totally agree.