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hummingbird678

Etiquette and process seeking other builders in middle of design phase

hummingbird678
5 years ago

Hi all,

First time having a house built. I started out with a builder/designer mostly for reasons of convenience (my mistake, I recognize that). They have helped me design a floor plan, and then sent it to a draftsman to fix it up and create the elevations. We've created detailed specs, and they've answered a ton of questions I've had. They've actually put a fair bit of effort into helping me. But so far I have paid them nothing, and have only agreed to pay for the plan from the draftsman. I have no signed contract yet, although have received one that is ready for signing and they are currently waiting for my signature to move forward.


Here's the problem. As we get farther into the process, I get more and more nagging feelings. I feel like they are trying to build the house they want to build, not the house I want built. I took a step back yesterday, and realized pretty much everything from my initial "wants" list has been removed at this point, slowly and almost without my noticing until it struck me that I am not at all excited about this house anymore.

And there are other things that I won't go into in detail about - but that make me uncomfortable with continuing with them. Suffice it to say, I am ready to move on.


I know I owe money for the plans - I asked for that work to be done, and perhaps it's just going to be an expensive lesson to throw them away and start over. But I'd rather make that mistake on the plans than on the entire house!


My couple questions are:

1. can I use pieces of the plan with a new builder, or will they have to start from scratch? I don't want it exactly as-is, so it's not a finished plan, but I don't want to continue working with the current builder any longer to refine it (and in fact, they won't refine it in the ways I want for various reasons I also won't get into).


2. Do I owe the people I started with anything for their time? Will they get a cut out of what I'm paying them for the draftsman plans? I feel guilty taking their time in return for nothing. I was never trying to take advantage of them and I don't want to leave them feeling cheated - I just don't think we are a good match for this project.


3. What's the nicest way to let them know what I'm doing? They are also in my social circles (another mistake I made) so I can't disappear entirely from their lives, and don't want them badmouthing me to mutual acquaintances (and I have no intention of badmouthing them, even though there are some things I'm angry about - that's private between them and me). I don't know that they would, but I just worry about it.


Thanks for any advice anyone can give. This is definitely a learning process, and I'm already learning some difficult things early on.

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