AF-"First, I'm so sorry that you were betrayed - what a terrible thing for any individual to endure. It will take some work to recover from that, no?" Thanks for your concern. I must be numb or just so freaking glad for the chaos to be over, but so far I am really happy. Bliss is the word I keep using. He's been almost a month now and my home is clean, organized, full of loving kindness, meals shared with people who got run off, and most of all, a happy kid. Second, I'm going to go out on a limb here, and be very unpopular no doubt, but it needs to be said. With this deep of a betrayal, the pants were a very small symptom of a much bigger problem. I'm going to say that there was much that was wrong here, and it was the bigger piece that was wrong that led you to question the pants." Absolutely. I had strange things going on for a long time. I was just trying to present it objectively. Again, I don't think that could ever happen. I do find it important to note pants don't just walk into a closet. No rationale was ever offered that I agreed with. I had decided levis were thte brand for me, since nothing else ever really fit right; I knew they weren't mine. However, of the weird things, it was the first thing I could hold in my hands, that was couldn't be explained away. I do think undergarments would've been taken more seriously. I don't disagree someone changing in your house is completely unreasonable for most, but a weird bra is harder to explain away. "I'd bet that in the next relationship you're in, if this is not resolved, you'll be in hyper drive when it comes to unexplained phenomenon around the house. That said, it is important to understand that there are things that happen that have nothing to do with a spouse's unfaithfulness." It was explained. He was a slime. I'm a big truster and I've been in plenty of relationships since I'm in my forties. I don't think I'll be hypersensitive, although I could see where others might take heed that it could happen to them. Amy, I think what you said helped the most. I wanted for ME to be able to forgive so that I could find closure. I know how anger can eat a person alive and that the responsibility lay on my shoulders, since he was never going to be "worthy" of the forgiveness. Is anyone ever? But him owning up to it could've helped that. Nonetheless, it is his inadequacy that I will not take personally. I have forgiven. Hey?! Maybe that's why I am so good and blissful now.

>But even amongst those who are of British descent it seems curiously watered down in places such as, say, Colorado and Texas, two that I have experience with That may be, tho you'd be surprised by how many Angliophiles we have here in the southwest desert. In fact, perhaps more so - in this part of the country, people want everything new. In my city, just about everything older than 1950 is gone (with the exception of a few neighborhoods) People think 'antique' is before WWII. So my first trip overseas as a new High School graduate was eye opening to me. I was in Israel - and suddenly I realized how old the world is. I was fascinated by the cities made of adobe and the buildings that existed hundreds of years ago. I remember being in the Israel Museum and standing forever it seemed at the Dead Sea Scrolls. ASince then its been a love affair with the ancient. Which is probably why I love going to Britain (and I got my husband hooked on it too) So sometimes its what you don't have that makes you appreciate another place. >Would this have been the same in the US of that time? Yes, until the 60s. The main reason that memorization of such things was pushed aside is that it wasn't relevant to the kids. But they didn't think of a better way. If they teach about the rivers and lakes and main exports within the context of historic or cultural lessons, they'd find the kids much more intersted, and they'd even learn some geography on the way. >This woman's "dream" was to come and work for the royal family, and she emigrated and sought out this employment. I was a bit surprised at her ambition and devotion in this day and age We forget sometimes how very lucky we are, with the myraid of choices and options we have. Many others in other countries, esp women, don't. Working for the queen for this lady probably beat anything else she'd ever want to do, and had never had an idea that she could do better. Bet in a few years tho, she will! >What's with that? The one country they were taught about in school the longest was probably Britain, and so they associate historic fiction with it. Also suspect that there are probably more movies that take place in Britain than in other countries. Would be interesting to know. As for me, I have always loved cultural geography and historic fiction anywhere. But I do know what you mean. btw veer - we will be going to Ottawa (and Montreal and Quebec City) in June. Can I pick your brain about Ottawa? We already have a list of the usually museums and such, but maybe out of the way places, day trips?

Too many mixed messages coming through here.

What criteria is used to choose these books? Since reading and loving "The English Patient" (first Booker I ever read), it always caught my attention if a book had a sticker on it -- "Booker Winner" or "Booker Shortlisted". But when I read "God of Small Things" it was such a disappointment! Couldn't understand what that book was trying TO SAY ... and it was obvious that the writer was trying to get SOMETHING across. It was odd, when I returned it to the store, the guy behind the counter said, "You're returning this?!?!" ... He didn't have any great explanation as to why I should love it. (Did get my money back, tho'.) Since then I've been wary of buying Booker Prize novels. But am always curious to see which ones are nominated, which wins, which are shortlisted. I think, as with most prize competitions, judges give up handing out awards to the same people. Like the Academy Awards not going out too many times to the same actors who've already won Oscars and been nominated So Many Times Already. E.g.: Meryl Streep. So maybe that's why certain writers who've written wonderful novels this year but already won Bookers are left out -- even if they should be nominated again this year. What do you think?