Late husband worked for a health insurance company, and that was the last time we had a health insurance benefit. When he left that job, we got catastrophic care insurance, with a huge deductible. We eventually opened HSAs as well. Over the last ten years, each of us has had jobs that offered health insurance plans. We looked at the cost (to the employee) of those company plans, and the benefits, and restrictions imposed. We compared them to the cost of our current plans and benefits, (when you pay yourself, you chose who you want with no restrictions). The HSA balance creeps up over time, allowing more payments, (dental, doctor's office visits, optometrist exams,) on a schedule we controlled, instead of what the company plans would allow. Employers have been hit hard the last few years, too. The workplace plans we were offered had higher premiums than our individual accounts with Unnamed Health Insurance Company, and were not of more value to us. In spite of being a "catastrophic care" policy with a high deductible, It seems to be paying for things, or making partial payments for things, every time i turn around. Tick removed from back at walk-in facility: Paid half the bill. Prophylactic medication in case I was exposed to Lyme disease: I was stunned to have the couple bucks and change it cost. I asked the pharmacist "Isn't there a minimum dispensing fee?" Yes, she said, but the insurance covers it. If I hadn't had that policy, it would have been twenty dollars or so, for two pills. As it was, I paid less than three dollars out of pocket. I'm actually quite happy with the situation I'm in: the fewer people sticking there noses into my health care (policy wonks in DC or that lady in personnel) the better I like it. And it had no bearing on Poor Late Husband's demise: He had lung cancer, quite likely from his thirty eight years of smoking two packs a day. There were unusual circumstances that contributed to his sudden death only five weeks after diagnosis. No amount of chemo, surgery etc., would have saved him. I had a cancer scare myself, actually less than three months after his passing. I asked a nurse what would happen if I had cancer, and my insurance didn't cover treatment. She said she didn't know how that worked, and she said the doctors and nurses take precautions to not know anything about the finances of patients. That way, she said, those with or without insurance are treated the same way while in the hospital. I think it's stupid to go without insurance to have more money for lattes and cell phones, but I defend others' rights to spend the money they earn in a way that they find valuable. As for people who "End up in the emergency room because they couldn't afford a doctor" I've personally known, lived near, worked with some of those people...and they abused the emergency room option so they wouldn't have to pay. I've heard them rationalize taking a child with an earache to the emergency room to avoid a $20 co-pay at the doctor's office, and the hassle of scheduling an appointment. Then in the next breath they griped that they had to wait so long to be seen.

Drcindy, My SIL is facing a similar situation. Her brother is in his 40's and lives with their father (now in his late 70's)in another state. Tim is autistic enough to be a bit isolated socially, a poor judge of character, and financially naieve. He is highly functional at work and is considered a brilliant mechanic. He makes a nice living. He's able to take care of the basics...dressing, cooking, shopping, driving, paying bills and the like. We put together a family plan for him for that moment when his father dies or is too ill to live independently. Tim was involved in every stage of our discussion and planning. We will sell the house and buy him a condo with the proceeds. We prefer renting to buying because,no matter what, he'll always have a home and, hopefully, an asset that can work for him as he ages. We're not too worried about the homeowner maintenance problems because those exterior things like roofs, elevators, landscaping etc are taken care of the the HOA. He will have to replace appliances as they fail but we feel he can handle those purchases with a little long-distance help from us. We didn't want him to be frustrated by the slow service that rental maintenance often provides. We have targeted buildings in Florida (where he lives) and Virginia (where we live) that have 24/7 front desk staff and inhouse maintenance. Yes, they have more expensive condo fees but we feel that having a socially active HOA, a staff he can get to know, and a staff engineer for in-condo repairs will provide a sense of community for him. It also provides us points of contact that we can get to know. Finally, my SIL will have a durable financial power of attorney to conduct complex financial matters on his behalf. That ensures part of his paycheck will go to his retirement, part to savings, taxes paid, insurance kept current etc. She'll be able to help him work through the financial details of his life. We have set up a small trust for the money he inherited from his mother and any future large sums that come his way. My SIL is his trustee. She's been preparing for this a long time and as her family, Tim's our family so we're grateful they let us help. Good Luck

I wouldn't worry about it. It has bothered me for years that my SD12's BM has never worked a day in her life. She has gone from her mom, to her DH (that she is still legally married to), to her mom, to living with my DH, back to her mom & now living with her BF. She has made a baby with each of them... her mom raised the first kid, DH is raising his, and who knows about the new baby... from what I hear, everyone takes care of him but BM uses him as an excuse why she can't work now. It finally sunk in my head that nothing I do, think or say is going to change how she is... she is not going to run out & get a job or become responsible because of me. I have some resentment that I work 7 days a week (about 67 hours) and juggle that with taking care of a toddler (DGS2) and raising HER daughter that she has groomed to dislike/disrespect/hate me, while she sits on her lazy butt playing farmville all day and dodging her child support. The realization that I came to is that her life is pathetic. At the moment, she appears to be having lots of fun.. she goes camping, takes trips, sleeps in, plays on her computer, etc. But... the day of reckoning will arrive for her. She will get old. She may suffer health problems from her smoking & drinking. She will have to sort out the pain she is causing her daughter. and there will come a time when she no longer has her mom or a man to fall back on... and she will probably lean on her kids to take care of her. To me, that is pathetic. That is sad for her, it is sad for her kids. I have raised my kids, trying to instill a strong work ethic & motivate them to be independent. I am working to build my own future so that when I am old and can't work, I won't have to rely on them.. or even my DH. I want my kids to feel free to have their own lives & not worry about me. In the past, I've talked about my mom & her alcoholism. Dad divorced her when I was 13-14. I stayed as "caretaker" and endured hellish teen years. In the almost 30 years since they divorced, my mom has not worked a real job, has not accomplished anything or had a significant relationship. She was recently diagnosed with cancer, had a 5 point heart bypass surgery after a heart attack a little over a year ago & had to have a pacemaker put in a few months ago. She has deteriorated very quickly & we don't know if she will make it another year. It breaks my heart because she is my mom & she has not taken care of herself... now she is paying the price for the years of abuse and neglect she inflicted upon herself. I've had my own resentment for things she did and even so, I still love her and it is hard to see her go through this. Personally, if I were you.. I would not concern myself over what your DH's ex does. She is making her bed, she will lie in it. She may drag her kids to lie in it with her but that is between them, it has nothing to do with you. You have a choice to help or not help these adult kids. What their mother does or doesn't do for them is not your concern. Do what you want for them because you want to & can. As for the fraud... if she is committing fraud, it may come back to bite her. I worked in the welfare office & had people confess to me that they were committing fraud but the DH never prosecuted them. It is very frustrating to see your tax dollars wasted and programs that are meant to help people, being abused by people that don't really NEED them. But, anyone that lives on a program, becomes dependent on that program and is at the mercy of the government... and if they cut funding or benefits, they live with the impact of that. It is a horrible way to live... and it's never enough to live a good life so many of them cheat. Again, in the end it will come back to bite her in the butt.

Posted by junkyardgirl: Look, I'm all for not wasting the taxpayers dollars, but school officials get paid so little and do so much. Would it kill us to fork over a little to let them have some fun once in awhile? After all, they educate our children for us for free. ROTFL. Ha! school board officials get paid huge bucks. At least where I live they do. They get paid way more than the teachers do, and do way less. They don't do it for FREE on a volunteer basis either. Where ever do you get that idea? I don't even "get" why school officals had to even go to this conference "to learn about new products" as the article said the intent was. Can't they learn about new products using the internet? With phone calls or email? From article: "When officials attended the conference about five years ago, they learned about and secured a $125,000 grant for a districtwide dialing system to call parents in the event of an emergency." What!?!? A $125,000 dialing system to call parents. What was wrong with using a regular telephone? And a phone book. Or keep students parents' phone numbers on file cards in a little plastic box. So our taxes paid for this grant too? "Several officials also paid for meals while attending theme parks, many during hours when the conference was ongoing." This is soooo typical of these types of events. The persons sent to them do not even attend the functions and fritter away their time on personal entertainment. My head is spinning.