It is not a bad plan to get some topsoil this spring if it is free of bermuda and you know something about the source. I got a load of garden soil from Gem Dirt (I think it was) a couple of years ago. It worked well to partially fill 4 of my beds. Those beds have been very productive. They are located somewhere near HW75 between Tulsa and Glenpool I think. I also think Tiner's Tractor which is south of the Catoosa exit on I44 might be a good choice for you. I have never bought from him, but I have talked to him a few times and he seems to know what he is doing. It is only 5 or 6 miles from there down to the BA Expressway around Elm.

The boy has been living with his grandmother for half his life, and all his 'memory life'. That is his home, his mother, his life, his stability, his comfort. Dad bought a house 8 months ago and there's not enough room for his son. But there's enough room for you? The fact is, and you need to look at it in the eye--he doesn't want to take care of his son. It says a lot about him. I'll let you think about what it means. So then there's you, and you pressure your boyfriend to do what he ought--step up to the parenting plate. Your boyfriend has made it very clear he doesn't want to, so he pushes the burden back onto you and pressures you to step up to the parenting plate. The truth is neither of you want to do the job (and I don't blame you if you don't want the job, it's a big responsibility and a lot of trouble--particularly when your partner isn't going to do his part). However, both of you are quick to criticize grandma and how she raises him. How many children have you raised? How many ADD children have you raised? A supreme court justice once said, "I used to have 9 theories about how to raise children; and no children. Now I have 9 children and no theories." You've invested very little into this relationship. Only a year, you are independent, you have your own house, you aren't hungering for a wedding and a family. Already you are pressuring him, he's pressuring you, things seem to be falling apart, you have the inkling that the engagement was 'premature'. Stop and think. And be honest. Nobody but grandma has stepped up to raise this child, not his mother, father or you. And you should not; because if things do fall apart and this child gets to depend on you and you leave, you will have done a terrible thing. His grandmother is doing fine, no matter what you think. She's his home, his center, his world, all he knows best. Don't meddle because you think things 'should' be different. If you really think things should be different, you need to find a different situation that fits your definition of should. That's the only way you will be happy. You cannot force a square peg into a round hole. If your boyfriend does not feel paternal, he does not feel paternal. Deal with the reality. It is what it is. You cannot pressure him into feeling what he doesn't feel. Any more than he can pressure you into feeling something you don't feel. And why is he pressuring you so marry so quickly, to move in, elope, whatever. Is it to get you off his back about his parenting? Or is there more. I say do nothing until you think this through more. He's not 24, he's 30. And he's immature. And he's not good parent material. And he's coming with baggage. A little boy with problems that are only going to get larger as he understands his situation better (where's mom? why don't I live with dad? is grandma going to die?). No you are not being selfish, you are being wise.

In very, very general terms: Place your appliances ... plan for your corners ... preserve good walkways ... then fill in the rest, assuming 3" dimensions. Once you've done that, go through all your kitchen items and determine where you'd place each item in your new categories -- where will the toaster and the microwave go? will your silverware be handy for both your prep area and the dishwasher? will your glassware be convenient to both the dishwasher and the refrigerator? Mentally go through the steps of preparing several of your favorite meals. Is your food stored in a convenient place? can you open the oven and the refrigerator at the same time? does everything move in a straight line (rather than forcing you to backtrack)? Post your plans here so additional eyes can "proofread" for you. Once you've done these things, take your plans to a Kitchen Designer and ask him or her to "polish your plan" and take care of things like corner fillers ... and order your cabinets.

What a lovely room! I love that dark flooring! Can you find a console table with clear legs like the little ottoman/footstool/table has? Maybe with a bright top to match the painting (which I also love)? That would help tie it all together. (And if you can't find clear legs, go with silver.) You could also try some curtains in a nice solid color--I love the color scheme you have but I feel like you need something bright in there to break up all the dark cool shades and bring that painting out into the room, if you know what I mean; make it part of the room instead of just a piece of art on the wall. Is that carpet part of the room normally, or...? It's in some photos but not in others, so I'm not sure. I am sure, though, that others will be along with some fantastic ideas for you. I hope mine have been some help (and I'll keep thinking, too--this is just off the top of my head)!