My dh and I go out dancing. We have met lots of people that way.

DH and I do exercise classes and play tennis and have met some people that way. We also have longtime friends/ relatives that we socialize with.

As with Marilyn, above, I like having a common interest with others. When I have more time (not working fulltime), I may join a gardening group. I am learning bridge with a small group (one of my P.E.O. sisters is teaching us). I helped start a neighborhood book group (about every other month) and also participate in one at work (monthly).

Like Martha (who posted upthread), I am a member of P.E.O. It is an international organization/sisterhood that has raised more than $300 million for grants, loans and educational opportunities for women in the last 150 years. There are about 300 chapters in my state (IL). The members of your chapter become like sisters to you!

Not too much anymore, meet my friends for coffee or go play cards at a friend's house. I used to play eurchre once a week at a local pub or other times at the Legion. A few of my friends play Pickle Ball at the Community Centre and love it. Some of our neighbourhood restaurants have dinner and painting nights and you paint a picture . Our Superstore offers painting ceramics which my cousin and I are going to go to. I would rather be doing something if I went out rather than just sitting around.

I've tried a bit of everything. Church, Work, Gym, Book clubs, Widow lunches & Groups. So far nothing has worked for me. Maybe age or where I live, or maybe it's just me. Every time I finally meet a friend they seem to move away.

A friend of mine is in town after having moved to a smaller community with her DH about 4 hours away. They moved 18 months ago and she is having a tough time meeting new people. They have joined a weekly pickleball group and a ladies day ski group. They have met people but no one to yet socialize with. They will occasionally have drinks with their neighbours in the summer.

If one has the time, volunteering for a favored cause, if there is an opportunity in your area, is a great way to meet people with similar interests.

I'm not much of joiner, never have been. I enjoy being alone and have several interests that occupy my time such as making jewelry, photography, cooking, yoga, my failed attempts at gardening and we travel a lot as well. We are about to start some projects at home (bathroom update, painting three rooms and replacing old carpet) which will keep me busy for a while.

I get together with a close friend a couple of times a month for shopping, lunch, overnight stays at a casino or a theater performance and I have a group of former coworkers that I see 2-3 times a year for lunch or dinner. I'm thinking about signing up for a painting class, but am not sure I want to make the time commitment. I used to bowl ones a week, but since breaking my knee/leg a couple of years ago, I'm not willing to risk reinjuring my knee.

I love people! We go out for dinner 1 to 2 times a week with friends. I also am active at our Senior Center. Play euchre, pinochle, double pinochle 4 to 6 times week. Bunco once a month and bingo once a week. Keeps me busy and out of the bars!!!

I joined our senior center about 15 years ago. I've taken so many classes and met so many nice people ! What's so inspiring is the really elderly people that come there. They're spry and happy - there's a few over 90 taking classes ! They're the best support group there is !

I'm a loner, and hubby and I loved spending time with each other. I came across a letter that he had written where he put down his thoughts. He said that when he's away from me, he looks forward to coming home and spending time with me. That was us to a T. It suited both of us.

I've never been one to commit to a regiment, whether organized sports or a club. I hate having to go somewhere at such and such a time regularly. But I am doing well with my weekly cardio class. I also signed up for Zumba Gold which starts the end of March for 12 weeks.

I hate making small talk taking about myself to new people.

I'll start with having a few friends over for dinner and see how that goes.

MarilynC I wish so much, I lived closer to you. I'd hang out (and help) with you and your horses and donkeys and other animals. I'd also be an ear if you needed to vent. (((())))

Jasdip, I know you are struggling now but admire your courage and effort to keep going. Sending you a hug and please know you are in our thoughts. Your husband would be proud.

I'm a little like you, not a great social butterfly. It's best to join others in a mutual interest, and I think volunteering works well there. Think about what interests you, whether it's the library, animal welfare, maybe something like Red Cross, and try out volunteering for an organization which has meaning to you. You like cats, right? Maybe something at your local humane society. My friend's job was to take photos of adoptable cats for the website. You interact and meet like-minded people like that.

I volunteer in my library's bookstore. I meet many other volunteers and nice customers. No small talk needed!

Yes, I'd like to help Marilyn too, but I remember her thoughts on "help" sometimes being more work than doing it alone. I promise, Marilyn, we'll be good helpers!!!

jasdip, that's my relationship with my husband too. He has also expressed on paper that when he's gone, he wants nothing more than to hurry and come home to me. We are the best of friends.

The extent of my socializing is at the dog park. We have a small morning group that's been going for several years...seems we add one every once in a while and then lose one every once in a while. I will sometimes chat with neighbors on my daily dog walk too. I'm not sociable at all...never have been.

Add me to the list of helpers for Marilyn! I love animals and have also owned and cared for horses.

What is PEO and DUV?

I do 4 book clubs (each is monthly), some random activities through a newcomers group, just enrolled in Lifelong learning institute at nearby university - which will be one day a week.

I am on facebook and email majorly. I browse meetups and occasionally join some activities but not much. We go to a few dog parks, so see people that way but really have not made any connections.........but it is talking to other people.

We are like that too. We very much enjoy being with each other. I have my garden club and we have joined a seniors group. But we haven't been to any of the activities or lunches there yet. We have a lot of good friends and we have them over often for meals. I wish I could still garden but I just can't get around well enough now. I am changing over to containers this summer I think it will be easier. I miss my atrium so much! It was perfect for me.

Good luck with your new adventures. I would love to get into zumba I watch the you tube videos all the time.

I am like Moni and Marilyn -- I really prefer my own company. I was always very introverted, and often socializing more than a little to be very energy sapping. A little goes a long way with me! If I am going to socialize, I strongly prefer to have an activity. I am that way on trips also -- never like sitting on a beach or by a pool, I want to be active! On my last overseas trip I found that I did enjoy being part of tour groups; with no expectation to form a lasting connection, and opportunities to be quiet and recharge, I could enjoy the various members of the group as we visited locations.

Try to stay active as much as I can. Loved traveling, especially cruising, but it's been a while since.

Once a week, Mexican Train, group of 7 plays at my place.

Out to lunch group, of 5, usually on Friday's.

Been into water aerobics for 20 plus years now. Slowed down this year and really need to get back into it.

Organize once a month luncheons, either restaurants or potluck in someone's home. Largest numbers is Christmas and we have in the 40's.

This coming Monday, I have 15 signed up at local Thai restaurant.

None.

I like SO,and my dogs. That's it.

Get off my lawn....

I had lots of friends at one point. But as time went on, I cut off contact with each one for various reasons and have never been happier. I meet and chat with lots of people at work,but dont socialize with any of them. I like being at home with SO. Or alone. (Well as alone as one can be with 4 dogs)

I do "socialize" lightly with family. Mainly holidays or one one of my put of town siblings comes to town.

I don't do anything. I have been told that I am an embarrassment. I generally sit at home and read (4-5 books each week) and now am working jigsaw puzzles, too. I will be that way until I die.

I am pretty much happy not to actively socialize. I do belong to red hat group but I only do the activities that really interest me. I play cards with one small group once a month. I prefer to socialize with friends one on one rather than in groups. I am the person in the room standing or sitting with my back to the wall observing others. When I do draw people to me they are likely to be more interesting than the masses.

I don't really care for small talk or common chit chat. It's useful at times it but it's not something I really enjoy like so many people seem to.

I prefer doing outdoor things. I get social time when I horseback ride. Common ground in sports is found everywhere.

I get recognized , for lack of a better work, quite often. People I barely know approach like they are my best friend. It's weird. But am OK with it most of the time. As we get older we become more invisible. When I was young there was no place to hide. LOL Now I have more of a choice. I never mind being alone. Alone and lonely are two completely different things for me.

Absolutely! I don't mind being alone sometimes and sometimes on the weekend, I am happy to have the house to myself for a few hours, but I definitely prefer it when DH is home.

Just as being alone is not the same as being lonely, being with good friends and being with random "people" are two different things. The older I get, the more I am not interested in hanging out with people I may have nothing in common with. I just value my time more than I did in my 20s.

(In case Lulu Bella comes back, who asked what P.E.O. is, I explained it in a prior post.)

When I'm out I love coming home. It doesn't matter if DH is here or not but I know he will be here soon.

I had lunch yesterday with 3 girlfriends one of who moved out of town 18 months ago so it was a get together to see her. They started talking about a mutual friend of ours that I run with and am in the same bookclub and used to occasionally have coffee with before she had grandchildren. OH MY GOSH! The things they said about her and the crap they put up with from her - I don't understand why they are still friends with her.

One of the people at the lunch is her sister and she almost cut her out of her life 6 months but her DH talked her out of it. Apparently she is one cruel woman. The only reason I never carried the friendship any further was because my DH doesn't really care for her spouse who apparently is a piece of work. These women walk around on pins and needles around her in case she gets mad at them.

Honestly, with friends like that, I would rather sit at home by myself than have someone treat me like crap.

I have three part-time jobs, mostly just to get out of the house - I retired 4 years ago. DH retired last year and he likes to just sit around but it drives me nuts to watch him do that. So I go to work.

I'm a gardener and have a few gardener friends, but we don't really do anything together. I play golf a bit, but not many women play at our local club so I play with DH and sometimes DS and his wife. I'm a walker but I like to walk alone.

I go to yoga once a week and am quite active in our church (I'm on our governing board and sing in the choir). I also am a member of DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) and we meet once a month.

DH and I used to belong to a loosely-organized poker group and played about once a month, but our group has been hit hard with health issues and the main organizer passed away last fall.

I googled PEO. Thanks

I used to do most of the things you listed. I didn't find that I made friends there though. However I did enjoy it immensely. I think it's worth it to go and talk to as many people as you can to stay in practice.

I too am the proverbial loner. I try to challenge the reasons why I am a loner often though. I don't like being driven by fear and I fear that is why I am mostly a loner.

I must admit right now my life is quite centered around DH, the kids and work though. Paperwork can be quite time-consuming. Sigh.

Much of my socializing is centered around volunteer work. I spend a lot of time volunteering at our local historical society where I primarily do genealogy work for our patrons. I really enjoy the work and the people. I am on several committees at church, work at the Red Cross Bloodmobiles, attend a monthly " supper club" with some female friends, and was recently asked to join PEO. I have also been walking 5-6 times per week with two friends for over 28 years.

lulu belle - PEO is a Women's organization that supports Education for Women. It was founded in 1869 in Iowa and owns Cottey College in Nevada, Missouri. DUV is the Daughters of Union Veteran's of the Civil War. It's like the DAR, only older, and is just for the descendants of those who fought for the UNION in the Civil War.

Lulu belle -- My husband calls them my alphabet clubs!

Used to do a lot, Junior League, which involved a ton of volunteer work, my chikdren’ schools, church. Got very involved with my dog’s Breed Club when I got my first Cavalier 35 years ago x served on the National club’s BOD for 4 years, and chaired many different committees over the year.

Still have a volunteer job with the Club. It’s about all I do these days- I use my computer to do it.

These days, most of my socializing is either done by long visits on the phone, with local friends and others around the country, or visiting between exercises with people at my pulmonary rehab.

Wish I could do even 1/2 of what I once did!

I don't socialize much, except with my daughter and a few friends. One is an old neighbor and the others are friends from work. I don't see any of them very often through the year, though. We're all pretty busy with our lives. I joined a book club at the library a year or more ago but the books were boring and didn't get to go to the meetings sometimes because of my work hours so I stopped going. I thought about joining a bowling league at a nearby alley but never followed through. I'd have to request the day they play off every week and that would be a hassle. I also thought about volunteering and think I will look into it this summer.

Line dancing

book group through library

2 knitting groups through 2 different libraries

Weight Watchers...now called WW.

Hiking/walking buds

Still good friends with gals I grew up with and we meet once a month for our "therapy session"...walk, talk, and lunch...

I meet friends for lunch or dinner often. Many are good friends from work and some are just good friends from social activities from years past.

I spend several days each month at our botanical garden volunteering and I am a member of the Garden Guild, which runs many of the major fund-raising activities for the Garden each year. I am on that Board and have met many new friends and fun people and even reconnected with some people I knew in the past.

I spend a good bit of time at the gym or running but haven’t really socialized much at the fitness center. Running offers a lot of new friends though and I have met a lot of new friends through a running group.

A good friend and I joined a wine club and we have met several new friends there. We have some dinner get together socially outside of wine club.

When I was working, I got plenty of interaction with people during the 40 hour work week. In retirement, I don't want to be a hermit but I'm not a social butterfly either, so I enjoy senior classes. We have a good Lifelong Learning Institute (LLI) in town. Some classes are "sit and listen" so chatting is limited to before/after or during breaks. Other classes are very much hands' on with lots of opportunities to talk to the other people. Our Parks & Rec Dept also offers a variety of reasonably priced classes. I'm taking "Line Dance for Beginners" now -- a lot of laughter there! By taking classes, I recognize quite a few folks by sight and even remember the names of some of them (which has never been my strong suit).

Jim....your wife told you, you were an embarrassment? I'd ignore her and go find things to do on my own...without her. Right!?

My wife and I are both outgoing and social but we have different interests. I have my regular physical activities (gym and outdoors) and meet ups with my friends (lunches and dinners), she has the same (different) ones with hers, and we also do things together with mutual friends. We're not currently in "meet new friends" mode, although that seems to be a natural result of our own activities and through our friends.

I know your situation is specific, jasdip, and you're looking for ideas. I'm sure you'll find directions that work well for you. Good luck.

Jasdip, have you heard about Meetup? You can search for your interests, and then join that particular group.

I was looking for an out of my neighborhood book club. Nothing seemed to come up for me but one day a group for women in their 50's and 60's popped up and within that their was a Book Chat. I started with that, and the group keeps active by offering varied get-togethers from a game night hosted in a member's home,dinners out, theater, bowling etc. Members are encouraged to start an activity.

Women in this group are varied from single to married to divorced and I'm sure widowed. Some are still working, some are retired. Not sure how all this is going to mesh, but the women I have met so far have been nice.

The downside is that women are from all over the county. I probably will not participate in things that are too far. But, the upside is if I continue with this group, I can plan activities that are close to my town.

I noticed that some groups on Meetup can be very specific. A new one I just noticed was for women in their 50's who do not have children.

I think being consistent is key. I have been going to the same exercise classes for the past 6 years. I now have a group of women that I chat with and some of those I socialize outside of the gym for coffee etc. And, this is where the Meetup women are different, their point is to expand your circle of friends. While making new friends can happen anywhere, it really isn't likely.

Like Annie, I go to WW. I am a lifetime member. My group is friendly, and I enjoy the camaraderie there, but I really haven't needed to take some of those into my personal life.

Jasdip, I really am in awe of your strength and grace through this really difficult time in your life. In my honest opinion, you are doing everything right.

I was actually much more social when my kids were growing up. It seemed that most of our socializing was with the friends we met through raising our children, both in our neighbourhood, through parents we met from their school, and via the sports and recreational activities that our kids joined, in our community.

But after our kids moved away, we slowly dropped out of the social circle we had been in, during their growing up years. Our city's population has already quintupled since we moved here, 33 years ago. The good part is that home values have skyrocketed over the years, but sadly, it made it impossible for our children to afford living here, once they finished university and started their careers. Hence, our kids either invite us to visit them on weekends in their cities, or we keep our weekends free to have them visit us. We're more often out of town, as it's easier for us to visit them, with no young kids to tote back and forth.

DH plays golf every week day with some buddies. But with our weekends usually active with family, I prefer to spend my weekdays just reading, dabbling in crafts, gardening and walking the dog. We do socialize with one couple occasionally, and go out to dinners/movies together. Apparently most of our old group of friends don't socialize as much any more either, perhaps because their grown children no longer live here as well. But we still stay in touch, and get together for special occasions, which is good enough for me.

During the winter, we have season hockey tickets for the D1 university I work at. Games are normally one evening, sometimes two, on weekends. There is a group of us that go out afterward.

Our 55+ neighborhood has many groups that get together during the week. Quilting, jewelry making, cards, etc. Alas, I'm still working, so can't join in. DH gets together with 3-4 neighbors every Friday for breakfast or lunch. He's a big one to go 'do coffee' also with neighbors. One day he went three times!

I'm looking forward to the day I can retire.

I am retired. When I moved down here to SD from ND 21 years ago, to a town of about 60, dwindled down to about 40 now, I thought how am I going to meet anybody. My DM had always belonged to a homemakers club, now CFEL. I asked the local postalworker if there was such a club around here. She told me there was a couple of them in the next town, 9 miles over. She then told me there was and ex CFEL club that met socially here in our town. She was having the next monthly meeting at her house and invited me. They are the nicest ladies. Then I also joined one of the clubs in the next town. My DD was still at home and in the sixth grade. SO I met a lot of people through her. I also joined the church in the next town. I am involved with a few things there, and I know all of the people. After I was down here for about a year, I got a call one day from the owner of a café over there and she needed a cook. I got to know a lot of people when I worked there for 17 years, including the seasonal harvesters. That was the first time I ever got a job without applying for one. I go out for coffee, and sometimes for Saturday morning coffee with a couple of the older ladies here in town. Sometimes we go driving around on Sundays during the summer to see some local attractions that we have heard about, and then stop someplace for supper. The library over there has started a Wednesday night craft night. I only went once and then they were going to do knitting again. Besides that the weather hasn't been to good and it has been cancelled a couple of times. I enjoyed doing that. MY DH lived down here for a few years before I moved down here but I knew I couldn't rely on him to meet people. He doesn't remember anybody's name and doesn't socialize much.

Wow, that is stunning. I don't think I have ever seen anything like that.

Jem, that is a beautifully cut stone!

Very nice.

That is gorgeous!

Gorgeous, jemdandy! I love the sunburst pattern coming out from the center of the stone. I brings to mind those kaleidoscope that we played with when we were kids.

Beautiful.

And, now I know why you are "jem" dandy.

I work with the public. On my "me time" I avoid people at all costs. I don't even like shopping.

eld6161: Yes, you have guessed the rationale behind my code name. My initials are jem. With a little mashup, I coined this name to tie into my hobby.

About the practice stone above, if a jeweler were to examine it, he would say, its a nice cut with accurate meet-points, but its a 'leaker' referring to its light return. It has nice appearance, but should be brighter. By leaker, he'd be saying that it looses too much light out the pavilion. (The pavilion is the bottom part of the stone below the griddle; The part above the griddle is the crown.) The function of the pavilion is to reflect light, that has passed through the crown, back toward the viewer. After I cut this stone, I have learned more about gem cuts and now own a computer ray tracing program that I use to evaluate my designs. That has been a great help and has allowed me to uncover a lot of unfounded accolades that has been said about a number of designs.

Little social activity for me, especially in winter. I use a scooter for the handicapped or in very limited spaces, a walker if possible. I can drive, but once I get there I cannot get my needed equipment out of my van to use it. In good weather, I do visit around my neighborhood to chat when I see neighbors in their yards.

From May through October DH and I cover many car cruises in our area. Our classic car, 'Donna Pacer' gets a lot of attention and I sit beside her on my walker and drink it all in.

Once a month DH and I meet with a group of 8 friends for a lunch out. It is most enjoyable. Other than that my 'social' activity is carried out on the phone with family and friends. Yes, I feel isolated and lonely at times.

jemdandy....very nice! How many millimeters across is that? 8? It's a very unusual cut. I LOVE it!