I've always lived in urban areas.

Living in an urban area makes sense especially as one ages because one doesn't have to drive long distances - especially for medical care or to see friends. From what I have read, isolation among older people in rural areas is a real problem - even suburban areas aren't ideal for older people unless they have significant support systems.

Funny enough, for all the gripes about the big horrible city from those who don’t live here, I do feel like (and always have) felt like we were part of a smaller community, much more than I did in the burbs, and the older folks tend to walk the neighbourhood, sit in the park and hang out in the mall/cafes. They do feel better integrated here, but maybe it’s like that on small towns (never experienced that). Being so pushed together we would chat with our older neighbours and they would try to help us when we were very much younger (by dropping off food, checking in etc.) as much as we tried to help them.

When I was starting high school, my family moved from the city to the very isolated country. Now, especially as my wife and I are getting older, even suburban is too rural for us.

We lived in cities of varying sizes all our working lives. When we retired, we moved to a small coastal village in a rural area - surrounded by beaches, forests and dairy farms. We had beautiful views, fishing and swimming both in the ocean and river, and wonderful experiences with the local wildlife, especially birdlife. We made some good friends there as well. We always knew, though, that it couldn't be permanent, because of the very limited healthcare and social support facilities there. Anything the one medical clinic couldn't handle had to be dealt with at the regional hospital 40 miles away, or at bigger hospitals several hundred miles away.

We had almost ten years there, before biting the bullet and moving away, to a much bigger town, still seaside, but with a population of 25,000 and an amazing set of medical facilities, including two private hospitals within walking distane and a public one ten miles away. We are walking distance as well to supermarkets, pubs, shops and a lively cafe scene. We have everything we need, minus the noise and hassle of the big city (but if we want that, there's a city of 4 million an hour away!)

So I guess that makes us town mice. Perfect compromise for us.

Lived in the country and the city. City mouse the only way for us.

There are obviously pros and cons to each, and it's a matter of personal preference so not sure what kind of design dilemma that is, but what I will say is ..... I would not move into the middle of nowhere if you are getting up in age. And I only bring up age because you did. As you get older you are going to need to be closer to people who can help you and places where you can get help, and it becomes more dangerous to drive especially for emergencies at night or in bad weather.

We are not so old it would be crazy (nowhere near retirement age really) but I’m afraid of where our health issues (current) might take us, I’ve been told I could be blind/unable to walk but how much of that was confabulation or ignorance (should doctors really be telling you these things? lol) I don’t know, and that is not even touching my hubbies issues. It certainly has given me food for thought, you never do know where you will end up. We do know our house holds a value we can only fully unlock if we sell, and things just keep getting more expensive.

Assurances about how YOU can live based on what another has experienced, have little if any relevance.

They are relationship driven, financially driven, mobility (now and future) driven..........plus a possible fifteen or sixteen other things. ..........inclusive of health and services

How far, where are your friends, your family? What do you like to do socially. Is one of you very social, the other not? What are your ages.........etc.

Asking here will get you as many comments as there are places TO reside. But chatting is nice. Perhaps the chat is best between the TWO who would move: )

We’ve talked about it so much and I’ve turned over the issues in my mind so much my brain feels like it is no longer functioning in regards to this matter. We could probably sell tomorrow, but then be homeless. But there is no way to make a move if we don’t sell/get help from family (which I hate the thought of). We’ve thought of a lateral move but I can tell you with prices how they are here it would be very difficult.

Also to make things more complicated our lives involve a ton of stuff, we wouldn’t be travelling lightly, it could be a logistical nightmare.

Any move is a logistical nightmare, minus a purge of all the unnecessary in your life. Period, and TRUTH.

Unless you like such a scenario? The "ton of stuff" doesn't GO.

I’ve been thinking of that sort of scenario. And as quite a lot of our stuff is paraphenelia related to our respective trades/crafts I’m afraid it will be coming with us and no condo would house it. This is precisely what drove our first home purchase as no common rental (nor purchased home) would have been economically practical. Quite a lot of our furniture could burn up and blow away in the wind and besides the hassle of replacement, wouldn’t be a massive deal, our couch is ready for the curb, has been ready for a few years lol. I’ve been purging regularly in the case of an emergency move, things are a bit more stable now. We have maybe 2 pieces of heirloom furniture. Even my computer died.

I was raised in the country and loved it. I lived for the past 30 years in the city and loved it also but knew I was a country mouse. My husband and I just moved to the country and it feels like home. We are not isolated and have very friendly neighbors. My husband commutes an hour which is a drawback but he does have option to work from home several days. My parents are 86 and 91 and still live on their farm. Lot's of family and community support in that rural area. We are also within 15 minutes of several really delightful little villages with good coffee shops, galleries and restaurants and medical facilities.

Big city, or deeply rural. Either is great. I love being in the midst of the activity and social scene of a city, walking wherever I need to go, etc. I love being out in the sticks with nowhere to go and no one to see. I hate in-between.

Right now we live in a farming area about 10-15 minute drive from a medium sized city (80,000). We have the benefit and hassle of all the "town things" like sports, activities, grocery stores but we have to get in the car to do any of them. We have neighbours who are close in proximity but not intimate. Literally nothing is walkable, not a library or playground or community center and the kids' school is a long bike ride away if we wanted to avoid the car.

There are none of the perks of either a small town or a large city, but there are the challenges of both. I do not recommend.

I’ve kind always felt that way as well, but am wondering if I will find some kind of compromise. I wish there was an obvious direction to take, I think that’s one part of the problem.

I understand the dilemma. My spouse and I are basically doing both. We built what we intended to be our retirement home in a rural area; we visit on weekends, and I love it and find a lot of peace there, and we can both easily get out and do all the outdoor activities that we love.

But I'm also a city mouse. After years of living in the suburbs and not liking it very much, I decided that after the kids moved out / left for college, that I needed to live back in the city. So we're now in the process of building a city house, that will be walking distance to stores, restaurants, a big park, and short public transport distance of a lot more. My spouse is NOT a city mouse, but reluctantly agreed to the move to the city. This will be our primary house until we retire, then we'll split our time.

One option that we considered was to rent a place in the city, to decide if that was the right choice. Could you rent a place somewhere in a rural area for a while, to help you decide?