I second that motion.

I know that you are right but do we involve an architect when the design is still in the "dream" stage? Or do we develop more ideas, find land, etc before we meet with the Architect? I guess my concern is more of the "When" do we schedule him in the process

A major portion of my practice is in a resort region. Several projects involve the expansion of a cabin that was built by grandfather and was inherited by family member through time, where now the little two bedroom cabin has 27 owners. The solutions, new and remodeling/additions, range from providing a number of master bedroom suites for each family member to have one, to providing space for a flat expanse of lawn for guest to pitch tents on.

Every project and every site is different and there is not a one size fits all solution. Find a good local architect that can get to know you and your site, and design a home with you that fits your site and meets your needs until your grandchildren are confronted with the same concerns.

Start looking for a suitable architect now. When you are ready to start to design a solution may be a good time to retain an architect. Any time is a good time to get ideas of what to dream.

I think the sooner, the better. They can help you pick land, establish with a builder, etc.

One of the builders that was recommended to us has a 2 year wait list on new builds. Getting an early start is very helpful.

Well...it's an excellent question, with some excellent responses ^^^.

When asking "...Or do we develop more ideas, find land, etc...", I'd point out that it's early concepts which are important to explore, and not "finding more ideas". Architects are wonderful at sitting with families and identifying/exploring various concepts for design. It's the concepts which underlie and drive the designs (and ideas).

For example, does "expansion" mean to you:

--A large house, with closed-off, unused areas waiting to have the doors opened when/as guests arrive?

--A small house, with several larger, continually used spaces, which can host large visiting groups?

--A house which fits an empty nester couple, with usable outdoor spaces for entertaining groups while visiting?

--Some combination?

--Some other concept?

Do you see how going down any of these "paths" is a journey on its own? You need to identify some key concepts which may fit your situation and explore those. To do so you need an experienced and creative guide.

A couple of ideas to get you started. I had a house that I considered flexible. Perfect for two, but expandable for more. We only had one bathroom on the bedroom floor. We designed it as a master bath, but the door opened to the hallway so that guests could access. The guest rooms were small. You only need space for the beds. One room had a twin over full bunk along with two chairs that opened to beds for the kids.

I always wanted a true bunkroom. I love the idea of sleeping all the cousins in one room. Can’t you imagine the lifelong memories?

Another spacesaver is murphy bed. They can be put in a den or office, or even a dining room. I’ve seen bunks in hallways. Out of sight most of the year, but available anytime you need.

My big big wish would be for an expandable dining area. Make sure you have walls or space open to expand the table to set at least 12 with room for a kids table close by.

Have fun!

Assuming you have the financial means to do so, have you thought about buying land and building several smaller buildings on it?

My grandparents used to live out in the country and had a small house. Next to them were three other small houses where the various kids and grandkids stayed.

They were a rather clannish working class bunch of folks and it was decidedly not a luxury set up, but it worked.

Husbands family had something quite like that as well.

If I had ever had the means in life to do so, what I would have done is just that. I would build a collection of small dwellings and separate buildings in some type of integrated setting, maybe around some common courtyard, or some such. My own private living area would be small, as that is the way I would like it. But, it would be nice to allow guests and family to have their own space.

Why build one giant living space when you could build smaller separate ones with some type of larger gathering space for all to recreate or have meals?

I love that idea but my wife wants EVERYONE under one roof when they are here!

Another idea - instead of a guest house, a guest floor. Build your one story empty nest, with two bedrooms and one bathroom. then, add a second story with a kids playroom, a bunk room and four tiny bedrooms for the adult kids. Add a bathroom with a huge trough sink separated from the toilet and shower room. Like a second generation dorm. When they are not with you, the upstairs heat is low, doors closed, electric off. When they are there, easy accommodation.

We are in a somewhat similar situation. In our case it is not just kids (and the future grandkids that they assure us they know how to produce) but our own siblings and their kids and grandkids along with enjoying having friends visit and stay with us.

At one point our architect said "so what you want is an inn!"

Our inn being built: http://bamasotan.us

1) We wanted a smaller/cozier house for ourselves so looked at the separate buildings route. First issue is that it can be massively more expensive than a single large house both in build costs and ongoing energy & maintenance costs. It can also be problematic from a local code standpoint.

On the top of the list though is that we prefer everyone under one roof where we can more easily interact. (At one point we'd also thought about little coffee/tea stations in guest bedrooms but nixed that because we prefer for people to come to the kitchen rather than hibernate in their rooms.)

2) We looked at a number of options for closing off sections but these all resulted in compromises that we weren't happy with. Instead we are insulating all interior walls & floors and will have some limited ability to not fully heat/cool some less used areas or guest rooms.

3) In the end we determined that for us the best option was a large but well designed house (see blog link above) with three ensuite guest bedrooms (that are totally separate from our offices so no more sharing) and additional sleeping space (loft). We've a fairly large kitchen + informal dining + family room + dining room as a large gathering/entertaining spot where everyone can come together. We're also creating some cozier spaces for people to gather in away from the main gathering area.

We've made our lakeside porch quite large and with phantom screens so that it can function as a nice gathering spot as well.

BTW, whatever path you take, make sure you have a quiet retreat for you and your wife. If you entertain a lot, especially with overnight guests, you need to be able to escape. Having our master suite on the second floor and some walking and turning corners distance from the central gathering spot was critical. I tend to need secure uninterrupted alone time more than most so we're also putting my studio in a separate building that I can retreat to.

An idea some friends explored was a large dog trot lake house with the parents space, including large kitchen and one guest room for use when just a few younger grandchildren on one side and bedrooms/bunk rooms on the other, designed where the dog trot center could be furnished with comfortable outdoor furniture for large scale entertaining and closed off at both ends by retractable glass doors in inclimate weather?

I agree with finding an architect. They'll be able to help you take broad ideas and narrow down into what is realistic, in your budget, etc. For example the idea of a two or three story house (you live on main level and stories 2 & 3 or all bunk rooms and bathrooms for family) may be an idea in your head - but a local architect may tell you that 3-story homes are not allowed in your area. (as in 3 floors above ground.) Or the opposite - who knows! Best to get someone local who can help you take big picture ideas and start to narrow them down into some options. Just explain the stage you're in - and they'll be happy to help you flush out ideas!

A local couple bought a lot in a unique development and worked with a architect to design their house. He suggested they sell that lot and buy the one a few lots down to take advantage of certain views and privacy. They did so, and have the house they dreamed of as a result.

So yes, an architect can be a big help in selecting your site.

Oppone, funny you should say that about the Inn. I actually have an inn. A one bedroom apartment with the only kitchen. It completely closes off from an inn with living room, dining room and 7 bedrooms. It sure works for large family parties when our inn is closed.

I would suggest that finding a lot that is suitable for a daylight basement would be ideal. For several years, my in-laws had a lake home with a basement/lower level that also had the same gorgeous view as their main floor. On that floor they had two bedrooms, a full bathroom, living space, and kitchenette. Even with close families, not everyone will want to be "together" every second of every day so that space was nice for when we all had little kids that still needed naps, etc. I think a bunk room(s) for grandkids would be a great idea as my kids ALWAYS love a sleepover with their cousins when visiting grandparents. Lots of memories to be had for sure I would make sure that each adult bedroom had its own ensuite or at least one bath for every two bedrooms. A kitchenette area would be nice for the grown kids being able to store their own personal food items or make snacks without having to utilize the main kitchen.

My friend has a Nano wall/door in her home that opens up her living space to her back porch where she has motorized screens that turn the open air porch into a screened dining space by the push of a button. There is no step down between her living room and porch so when the door is opened and the screens are down, it's like one huge living/dining space. It's amazing but cost a LOT to do. It suited her budget and lifestyle, though.

At one point our architect said "so what you want is an inn!"

Hey, you laugh, but my grandfather owned a small motel, and when we stayed at his house, he just "gave us a room". I remember loving that.

An idea some friends explored was a large dog trot lake house with the parents space ...

A Dog Trot isn't good for most people, but it sounds ideal for your circumstances.

I love that idea but my wife wants EVERYONE under one roof when they are here!

Just what does that mean? Everyone sleeps under one literal roof? Everyone eats together but some "sleep over" while others who live closer go home for the evening? If you have one big house and a couple tiny houses ... all on the same property ... is that under one roof?

Questions I think you should address:

- This is a big project. How big is your budget? By that, I mean, is it realistic that you're going to build a small inn? Are you okay with maintaining /paying taxes on this large space ... even though it'll just be the two of you most of the time.

- Realistically, how many kids are likely to come home at once? Meaning, do you realistically need two "parent bedrooms" or five?

- How far away are the kids, and are they likely to stay that far from home?

- Do the adult kids WANT to stay overnight at your house? I love visiting my mom's house, but I hate staying overnight -- all my siblings do too. Not long ago she had surgery, and I stayed with her a couple days; I was miserable. As much as your wife wants everyone under one roof, you should address this question before you invest money into this project.

- Will the kids come without the parents? If so, are they young enough that you'd want them nearer your bedroom? Or would you just take one of the "parent bedrooms" when this happens?

- How do you want to arrange the bathrooms? Small bath between each parents' room, or one large communal bath?

- How can you "close off" the kids' portion when no one's using them? No point in heating /cooling for no one.

- Have you considered parking space for all these people?

- Where will you seat everyone to eat? My personal experience is that kids come to eat more often than they spend the night, so I'd make this a bigger priority than sleeping arrangements.

- You mentioned a barn-type house ... this makes me think of a "party barn" ... I know a couple people who have good-sized barns designed for large group parties; they include minimal kitchens, the idea being that you bring food in already prepared, and bathrooms.

- Have you considered alternatives to building a large space for everyone? For example, you could rent a large mountain (or beach) cabin for EVERYONE ... you could do this every single year ... and still spend less than you would building /maintaining this large space.

"...my wife wants EVERYONE under one roof when they are here!..."

Yes. Of course.

Now...how many people come to visit you? How often do they come? How long do they stay? What are the primary sorts of activities that take place? Do these folks spend most of their visiting time with you in the house? Do they spend large amounts of time outside the house-- travel, visit, tour and site-see for much of their time?

Why is this important?

Well...it effects mortgage and closing costs, operating costs, cost of cleaning and maintenance, house assessment and property tax costs, homeowners insurance (and perhaps flood insurance), and probably a few other financial categories.

Having a very large house, which sits around empty for large periods of time costs money--initially and long-term. Perhaps lots of it. Just for the opportunity to have everyone under one roof...for how often and how long?

Your choices are simple: 1) A house that fits an empty nest couple; 2) A house that fits all of your extended family for visits; 3) Or some combination of priorities besides getting everyone under one room for some period of time.

I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't rent a cabin, home or motel for less annual expense, while allowing everyone to gather at the parents home around an appropriately sized and designed kichen counter, island or dining room when desired.

So...choose your concepts wisely and look at a variety of options. Unless finances are of no concern.

Our family works well in homes that have finished basements. The kids can hang out and be housed downstairs. If there are too many of them, we lay pallets on the floor. A snack bar, kitchenette in the basement can be used for overflow. This means the noise is contained down there, too. A few bedrooms for adults upstairs and some sort of big porch for outdoor gathering.

There are lots of existing homes that would meet your needs. Before I started building, I'd look around the area for renovation and adaptation possibilities. Get a good realtor to show you existing stock before you proceed to the building from scratch effort.

To take a bit of a stab at Virgil's 'all under one roof question'.

When everyone is in the same house and sharing the same common spaces there are a lot of informal interactions that take place and that combine to create, build and enhance relationships and improve mental health.

Something as simple as coming down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee rather than making coffee in your secluded bedroom or guest cabin creates informal interactions which is why we chose to not have any coffee stations elsewhere in our house - people need to come to the kitchen that is the center of the house and where other people are likely to be.

(There's a corollary to this in our communities. We once had, for 99.9% of history, a lot of informal interactions with our near and distant neighbors when we walked or bicycled to the grocery, school, café, church or hardware store. Suburbs designed around driving anywhere and everywhere have eliminated these informal interactions. The result is that we don't know our neighbors as well, may view them as simply 'those people' instead of our human neighbors, and petty crime increases due to the lack of 'eyes on the street'. This lack of informal interaction also has mental health consequences for us but that's a very long discussion. )

Staying in a nearby hotel similarly eliminates these interactions. It can also stifle relationship building such as young cousins who can stay up chatting with each other all night when all under one roof vs not being able to chat when they have to go back to their respective hotel rooms when mom & dad (or mom or dad) are ready for bed.

Cabins or guest houses on the same property are somewhere in between. People staying in them may not feel the same 'ownership' of the common central house/kitchen as people staying under the same roof. There are likely to be fewer informal interactions.

Every few years we rent a large 7-10 bedroom sized house at a beach or ski resort somewhere for all of my wife's siblings and offspring to spend a week together. As the family has grown we had to begin doing a second house for extra bedrooms. The people in the second house definitely don't have as much interaction with everyone as those staying in the main house and have commented on it. This even when the overflow house is next door. For instance, they are less likely to sit in the main kitchen or family room relaxing or reading something and where they will have chance encounters with others.

Virgil raised some great points regarding costs but there are social costs to consider as well.

Agreed that it is good to have communal areas. The kitchen and eating are very important things to share. So, it having a common area to hang out.

I mentioned previously about my in-law's lake house and after reading Virgil and opaone's comments, I feel compelled to add a little more.... :)

Frankly, my MIL is very off-putting. She built the lake house as her attempt to force her three sons and their families to spend time with her and my FIL. She thought the lake would entice us all to come and be together as "one happy family." RARELY did this ever happen as the enticement was always overshadowed by multiple personalities inevitably conflicting. Ironically, SHE never saw herself as part of the problem.

Now, that being said, your family may very well be the epitome of family harmony and I hope you are.

Questions:

1) Will your family actually come and be together or is this more wishful thinking on your and your spouse's part?

2) Is the lack of space what is keeping that from happening or could there be other dynamics at work? Now isn't the time to bury your head in the sand about these things if they do exist as this is a huge financial decision for you.

3) How far away do your kids live? If they live relatively close, they might not feel compelled to have to pack up all their things (we looked like the Clampett's everytime we went somewhere when my kids were younger) to come to your place to spend the night. There's really nothing like "home sweet home."

4) How often would all five kids (or multiple kids) and their families actually be all together at your house? IOW, don't overbuild the space banking on all five families being there together if that's rarely the case.

Best wishes!

I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't rent a cabin, home or motel for less annual expense, while allowing everyone to gather at the parents home around an appropriately sized and designed kichen counter, island or dining room when desired.

This is what I've been telling my husband for the past 9 years! Why have a dedicated guest room(s) that we pay for and rarely use? I'd much rather cover the cost of a weekly cabin rental for us and a guest than to clean & maintain a guest room all year. It is an added bonus that no one can over stay their welcome--at least not by more than a week! :)

When you find that architect with whon you feel comfortable , you will have to be completely honest about your family, your budget ( not just building, but ongoing heating and coolong and maintenance cost, etc).
Architects aren't counselors, but many of them read family dynamics pretty well, and kindly suggest routes to goals. but, don't expect that...
Maybe a better route would be a remodel on your existing home?
if not, i love the walkout basement lot idea. my parents had a brick colonial with a walkout basement in the seventies. with a detached four car garage, with an apartment above. the apartment could be closed down and winterized a big and lovely breezeway connected the two. plus the walkout had a couple bedrooms and a bath, a fireplace, area for pool table, and not hard to heat in a fold climate. .

Interesting thread! We also have five kids and currently have a rather large home (close to 6k sq ft, 6 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms, 2 floors plus a basement with 2 of the bedrooms in there...) our kids were all born close in age (5 in 4.5 years) and they are all young adults and older teens now, we don’t have any grandkids just yet, but there’s potential to be a bunch of them! :) Our family is very close, we always homeschooled... we are used to hanging out together a lot... anyways... I wanted to bring up a point that I haven’t seen just yet about a large house having rooms and bathrooms that don’t get used frequently... we bought this home when it was just over 20 years old and we are the 5th owners of the house. It’s a fabulous, grand house that has GREAT flow for entertaining and is more than enough space for our largish family. However, we were the first family with ANY kids who lived in this house, so say the neighbors who’ve been here since the neighborhood was built. It was all families with just two people in this huge house. (There was one kid here, but her dad bought the house and she only lived with him part time, otherwise it was always a couple with no kids.) What that meant practically was that after a very short time of OUR family living in this house things started falling apart. This isn’t our first home, we are avid and experienced DIYers and we are not the kind of family that is particularly rough on things as I taught my kids to be gentle from babyhood. So it’s not like our kids were knocking holes in walls or anything like that. But because bathrooms and such just never got used, they fell apart as soon as it got any decent use. We had to replace SO much! We’ve already gutted 2.5 of the bathrooms, had to gut the kitchen, we did temporary stuff to the other two bathrooms like replacing all of the faucets and such, we even had to gut the laundry room within weeks of moving in. So.... all that to say, we are looking at having an empty nest pretty soon and we decided that if we end up staying here for any length of time after the kids leave, we are going to have to rotate our use of the rooms on a regular basis just so things don’t start falling apart from disuse! But in reality, we want to downsize and would rather rent out a large home for family vacations. Hubby comes from a large family (I don’t) and over the years his family was spread out over the continent and world (I also come from a family where we moved all over the place as well, for many generations) and the reality is that during our kids’ childhood there were only a few times when ALL of hubby’s side of the family was able to be under one roof... actually, it only happened once, we met at his oldest brother’s large house in Nebraska for Christmas, there were about 21 of us, and every single person beside me and one of my sister in law’s contracted a virus... sister in law and I spent the entire vacation bleaching everything down. We laugh about it now... but... yeah.

Here's the fundamental challenge of buying or designing and building a house to contain multiple generations of families (say 15-25 people or so):

1. Private spaces: All these folks need private spaces, not just for sleeping, but for some degree of privacy for rest and/or activity, by age and type of activity during extended times together. Small children and middle aged children can often "cluster" day and night for sleeping, and co-exist reasonably well. Adults, and adolescents, on the other hand, need their own privacy from others, adults and smaller children, particulary for sleeping, age-related activities and rest.

So... special private spaces are needed somewhere. Basements, second floors and attics can work to a certain extent, to provide these needed private spaces. The challenge is these spaces remain vacant, yet contrikbute to the mortgage, property tax and maintenance/upkeep, even when not in use.

2. Public spaces: The normally sized public spaces--living, dining, kitchen, etc--which comfortably accomodate an empty nester couple are typcially not generous enough for 15-25 additional people who come to stay for a week or more.

To accomodate these high loads of people, either the public spaces have to over sized, some sort of flexibe, reorganizable space has to be created, or some indoor-outdoor combined space is needed, weather and climate permitting.

These two factor make it challenging to find an existing house which will accomodate both the private and public space needs. And it also makes it challenging to custom design a home which will meet these same needs.

Hint: Think long and hard about one's actual needs versus wants, and the various ways of meeting the wants. A rented lake house or ski chalet offers a good alternative in many cases.

another consideration.
when we used to go to vidit my parents in the midwest ( and, I'm one of five kids), we didn't always stay with my parents. we sometimes did, and sometimes stayed with one of my siblings. and, in the summer, sometimes in our camper...
mom loved hosting the big holiday dinners. and with big extended family, that can spread all over the house, and be fun.

informal interactions that take place ... enhance relationships ... Something as simple as coming down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee ... where other people are likely to be.

Respectfully, I think you're over-romanticizing this togetherness. Housing everyone together also leads to fusses over whose kids left the dirty dishes in the sink, resentment about the dirty socks left in the middle of the den, and tiptoeing around the people who are sleeping on a sofa bed. As I said above, I love my Mom and love going to her house ... but I hate spending the night. I'd rather have my own space, under my own control. Let me get up when I want, then I'll meet the family later in the day. I'll be better rested and will enjoy the visit more.

Following, interesting points by all...

Can 15-20 people (from great grandparents to 1-year olds) live in a single house for a week or more and continually coexist and get along day after day after day...?

Can 15-20 people (from great grandparents to 1-year olds) live in a single house for a week or more and continually coexist and get along day after day after day...?

Yes. And so can 35-40. We do it at least once per year. My wife and I, her six siblings & spouses, nieces and nephew and now a few spouses for them and now some sibling grandkids. We occasionally have my wife's mom along so 4 generations under one roof for 4 to 10 days.

The secret is for everyone to be brought up with a belief that they are not the center of the universe, to have respect for others, to realize that others are as good or better than you, that your faults are just as big and irritating as theirs.

wow. im really happy for you.
my large family is very close, but that could never happen for us. even in a sprawling mansion...

Maybe you should build a bunkhouse and build your own smaller house. But, I would suggest having some real communal space where you can gather.

You don't indicate what climate you are in, whether it be snowy or tropical. Are you on a mountain side or in the middle of a prairie or the side of a river in Florida? That can make a difference.

One thing that you do indicate is that you have the means to have what ever it is that you want. So, you have lots of options.

Me? I would have them to have their own semi private accommodations and have everyone gather in other parts of the property.

I would have a large open dining area, an outside gathering place with a nice fire pit, and an outdoor kitchen where the family could cook out and hang. But, it depends on what climate you are dealing with.

It's hard to explain co-existance to a 3-year old, much less several of them. Sometimes the same may apply to adolescents and grand parents...we all have so many preferences for public gatherings, privacy, preferred activities, perferred peace and quiet...and when we need and prefer them.

Getting the family together is a wonderful experience and the goal for many of us. After all...its our familly.

But...there may be all sorts of challenges...some of which may be resolved with architecture...and some not.

Good thread!

Thanks for ALL of these comments. Many things to think about. Hopefully the dreaming and doing will gain some traction

If they are going to be there a lot, then I’d plan on a large home. But I’d wait to meet with an architect and also to see where you will be building. I live alone in a home that will be 5k sq feet when competed. The neighborhood has many homes over 5k sq feet, so it fits the neighborhood. Where you choose to build your home may also dictate how big you make it. My home has large public spaces and smaller bedrooms, each with it’s own bathroom. I’m hoping when done, my 4 little nieces and nephews will be visiting. I can imagine the chaos of kids running around (they have a lot of energy) will fit this house perfectly, even if it’s just a couple times a year. :)

Congrats on your growing family.

Barn Doors are a great opportunity for EXPANDING SPACE when needed. OR converting a living space to a game/play/guest room when needed too.

Here are some ideas.

CUSTOMER SERVICE - Custom Barn Doors

www.customslidingbarndoors.com

You would still have much empty space behind these doors. That is almost a little creepy to have that much space that sits empty under your roof...like a deserted hotel.

Whether your house is big with a lot of out buildings or big with a lot of unused rooms, it adds up to being a lot to maintain and have it empty most of the time. It is almost a little sad and a little creepy.

Two empty nesters waiting with a big house for all the kids and grandkids to come..... Realistically, for most people, they are not going to all come that often. They have their own life, careers, friends, other side of the family, etc. Maybe you should save your resources and use them to go and visit the kids and grandkids at their house and maybe have a rented place once or twice a year for a big family vacation.

Otherwise, you are going to be two people living in a big empty house.

Retire and travel and maybe take a kid or two with you, for experiences with grandma and grandpa. If you have a place that they all are expected to come to every time ,they may get to resent it because maybe they really wanted to go somewhere else or do something else. yet they have that obligation to you because you went and built that big house.......... and they are expected to do that, every holiday.

As the grandkids get older they will have other areas of interest outside of the family and other obligations to school programs, sports, camps, etc. And, don't forget that you will be getting older, too. Life will change for you too.

You might want to rethink saddling yourself to the commitment of a large piece of property that requires attention as you retire.

Instead of anchoring yourself and your family there......go places with them and without them.

You might find that the family memories that you create at the rented beach house with all of the cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. may turn out to be richer memories than of everybody dutifully gathering around a 30 pound turkey at the holidays at grandma and grandpas.

Plan a vacation at Disney, or take a couple of the older ones on a trip to Spain, or arrange a ski vacation with them...whatever your means allow or your inclinations are.

You could, maybe, consider retiring to some place that has some amenities and attraction so that there is something to do when any do come to visit, and maybe you only need a more reasonable sized house for a smaller crowd.

Old saying: design a custom home for the way one actually lives, not the way one wishes they would live...

The secret is for everyone to be brought up with a belief that they are not the center of the universe, to have respect for others, to realize that others are as good or better than you, that your faults are just as big and irritating as theirs.

Wanting your own space isn't the same thing as being a narcissist.

Two empty nesters waiting with a big house for all the kids and grandkids to come..... Realistically, for most people, they are not going to all come that often.

I have to agree. A three-bedroom house with a big basement is probably a nice compromise.

We have no where near that amount of people staying with us, but we do continually seem to have guests (due to where we live). We do have an “inlaw suite”, it has been rented or loaned to out of towners for short periods when not in use, it’s kind of like a hotel suite with a sperate fridge and seperate washroom. Sofa beds help too. My grandparents had a guest cottage beside theirs, and that was where we always stayed while visting them. It was good to have some privacy and seperation, it meant I could go to bed earlier. Meals were always eaten together. They also had a 3 season porch that could in theory have housed more people.

To the original post... what did you end up doing? We just bought a lot and are in your same stage (just 3 years behind you, so i'm assuming you have it all figured out and are moved in by now, as the original post was 3 years ago LOL).

Regardless of what they did, the first comment is the best comment.