oh....... COUNTRY GIRL!!!! My heart goes out.... to you (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Y O U )))))))))))))))))))))))!!!! I just wanna hug you !!!! Dang it... YES I REMEMBER WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOUR D D goes off to college..... OH my gosh... I'm just gonna get in my car and come over to your house.... I was So DANG Lonely..... I still flip out... I was just running thru the house... I would go upstairs to her room... and just Sit... then..... I would get on her bed... thinking I would feel better... but sure enough.... TEARS> TEARS>> and just more T E A R S !!!!! She was my Only child... she was only... 50 miles away... but I Was a CHRISTMAS " F R U I T ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C A K E !!!!!!!!!!" yes... the dreaded Christmas Fruit Cake.... the one that NO BODY wanted to see... or be around... BUT>>>>> It is happening to you now.... and it happened to me several years ago.... and I AM WRITING TO YOU>>>>> so we know...... I did live thru it..... IT IS DANG TUFF>>>> It is "OK TO CRY !!!!" But Country Girllllll: what a cool Mother you are.... you raised you little baby girl.... she toddled... she ran... she jumped... she fell sometimes......... YOU HELPED HER UP !!!!!!! You Taught her " S P E C I A L THINGS !!!!!' You Taught her " R I G H T from WWROOOONG !!!!" and You know what... YOU WERE THERE FOR HER T H E N>>>>>> and YOU are there for HER N O W !!!!!!! You have helped a little baby grow up and toddle and run and jump and fall and get back up and....... now..... YOUR DARLING DAUGHTER IS IN COLLEGE!!!!!!! G R E A T JOB ~~~~~ now.... guess what...... YOU ARE STILL HER MOTHER>>> YOU ARE STILL her M O M !!!! she'll be waving ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and saying ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" H I M O M !!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and you'll be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD!!! and guess what else..... SHE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR BABY AND SHE W I L L>>>>> Come BACK !!!! I'm praying for you Country Girl! I think so much of you.... I've been getting to Love your POSTS and Especially what YOU STAND FOR!!! I'm proud to KNOW YOU !!! I'm excited to here reports of the JOURNEY !!!! TAKE CARE!!! Remember ~~~~~~~~~~~~" HI MOM !!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and smile and say..... " T H A T 's MY KID!!!!!!!" Love ya bunches! SusieSunShine

Lauren will do great, she is lucky that Alex went first and I'm sure picked up on some stuff. I was going to ask about Alex! That is sooo awesome he is doing a double major! Is he still also doing engineering?!?! Living & working outside this country will be great experience for him as you know. I wish I had had guidance going into college, thru out college and beyond. I am happy with how things worked out but sometimes I envy kids going into college now with all these opportunities ahead of them! Start finding time for yourself now and the things you have put off doing! ~ liz

So what I'm hearing is that you're building for every contingency, you're building for your house's most busy moments -- so that if both kids AND a guest are present at the same time, everyone has a private room. Realistically, how often is all that space going to be needed AT ONE TIME? I suspect most of the time that space is going to be standing empty, yet you're going to have to pay for it and maintain it all the same. We're also planning for our retirement home, but our thoughts are different: We're planning a bedroom for ourselves plus two more. The first will contain a queen-sized bed and will be for guests OR one of our girls, if she's staying over. The second will be a "bunk room" for the grandchildren whom I hope will appear in future years; it'll also have space for toys and books. If we have BOTH girls over at the same time, some adults can sleep in the kids' bunks, and we can move the kids to the floor. And if push comes to shove, someone can sleep in the (air conditioned /heated) teardrop camper just steps outside. I don't know how your family stacks up, but I've slept at my mom's house only a dozen times or so since I was 18 -- and that includes when she was ill last year, and I went to take care of her. My husband's father is out of town, and we sleep at his house maybe twice a year. If one of them needed to come home for an extended stay, she could have one of those bedrooms . . . or, we're building a bonus room but don't plan to finish it /furnish it. Other possibilities that could help you consolidate while still being prepared: - Install a murphy bed in an office, so the room can do double duty. - Go with a day bed /trundle underneath in a den. When you pop up the trundle, it's a king-sized bed. - Build-in a twin-bed sized window seat in a hallway. It'll be a lovely feature most of the time and can be a bed in an pinch. I can see why the developer wants to go ahead and build all the houses NOW. It's more economical for him, then he can move on to another area. He'll never pay the plumbing crew, for example, for half a day's labor -- when they finish this house, they can go across the street and get straight to work. However, serious question: If you don't build now, what's the penalty? Does he fine you? Force you to sell the property? What's your time limit? I think typically in these situations you have 1-2 years. I would be concerned about the private roads /HOA is responsible for snow (I assume you're in a snowy climate?) thing. Some HOAs function well, while others . . . don't; and if your neighborhood is new, this group is an unproven entity. Thoughts on living in an "older community", whether it's officially a retirement community or not: I live in a kind of odd neighborhood. It was the first neighborhood built in this area, so our houses are mostly large ranches on 1-2 acre lots; there's definitely a 70s vibe: Monster-sized rooms, tiny closets, formal living and dining rooms in every house. More than half of the houses have never been re-sold (that is, MANY of the original owners are still in their houses), so LOTS of my neighbors are older and retired. It has made for an odd dynamic for my kids: They don't have lots of playmates within walking distance, Halloween has always been dead here, and with so few riders the school bus only stops ONCE in the dead-center of the neighborhood (which happens to be my house). I foresee that we're heading for a crisis: MANY of my neighbors are reaching the age that they won't be able to live alone much longer. Funeral signs aren't uncommon. More than a few of these large houses are inhabited by widows who live alone. Most of these neighbors can't maintain their large yards anymore, and the same guy comes and does most everyone's lawns on Wednesday-Thursday. I feel fairly sure that within the next decade, this neighborhood is going to clear out FAST . . . and this community of solid-but-currently-unfashionable all-brick ranches is completely surrounded by newer neighborhoods with newer, cheaper houses on 1/4 acre lots, with community pools and playgrounds -- and that style appeals to many people. I fear this is going to become a rental community, which will lower the value of the houses. Does that have anything to do with you? I don't know. My neighborhood may be an oddity; I do think it's rather odd that such a large percentage of these houses have never "turned over" in terms of ownership. But when you live in a place where the MAJORITY of the residents are senior citizens, it does change the feel of the place. If I had my druthers, I'd live in a more diverse community.

It's so helpful to me to read about these experiences and learn more about these communities, so thank you for continuing to share. And for the HOA link, Maire Cate, because I have lived with HOA's, but they served more as insurance that a neighbor wouldn't paint their house neon pink or set up a trailer in their back yard. Kswl, I've watched parents and in-laws make living decisions later in life, and so far, I haven't seen examples I want to follow. My father was a hermit and insisted on living on his own, had a terrible fall, landed in the hospital, and essentially gave up and died in a skilled nursing facility when he realized he wasn't going to be able to live on his own again. It all happened within a span of a few months, and I can understand in his mind he was doing it on his own terms. But I wonder what his later years would have been like with more safety measures in his day-to-day living. Plenty were suggested, but he was stubborn and intensely paranoid. My in-laws have a large home on property which seems similar to what you left. A lot of land, a lot of house, and a lot to manage. The outside work kept my FIL active and busy in his early retirement, and he truly enjoyed it. Now, they're both around 80, and, after some terrible accidents that could have ended badly, he's finally realized he cannot much of it anymore. He hires out the work, and family helps when we can. But each time we visit, we notice more decline in the upkeep. Unfortunately, while their property is beautiful, they're a good 20 minutes from town. Most days, they spend sitting in recliners, watching TV and eating. Their health is suffering as a result of inactivity, poor eating habits, and low social engagement. I'd rather see them in a community like yours, which they could very well afford, but neither wants to leave. I remember "the call" about my dad's fall. I'm waiting for the call about my in-laws. All I can say to those of you considering your next step, as well as those of you have taken it--no matter what it is--is that you've given your adult children and/or loved ones a wonderful gift, and not just spare bedrooms. But reassurance that you're both in a positive, healthy and safe environment. Good lesson for me to remember, too.