let’s talk in-home treadmill placement... (save us from divorce court)
cerileen
5 years ago
put the treadmill in the TV area
put the treadmill in the utility room
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Susie .
5 years agoengrgirl
5 years agoRelated Discussions
bad divorce must sell or refinance- i dont own land- please help
Comments (5)Hello, AprilDawn, Speaking from experience, don't walk away from assets and don't try to do this alone. Letting someone foreclose on your main asset seems to be something only done when all else fails. Holding on to your home seems to be you goal and so it should be. First thing you should do, if you haven't already, is approach the lending institution before they begin to make threatening phone calls. Explain your situation and see if they are in a position to work with you. The fact that you are making a good-faith effort to resolve this (and continue being a paying customer of theirs) may convince them to work out a financing plan. If they refuse, you are in no worse a position than you are now. If moving in with your parents for a while is an option as you suggest, would it be possible to find a renter for your home to cover expenses while you get back on your feet? Continuing to make regular payments will be a big help in finding refinancing for your loan, or at the very least, avoiding foreclosure and holding on to an asset. Another thing you should do is contact a credit counseling agency as soon as possible. If you connect with the right agency, they would be able to look at your current situation and perhaps help develop realistic goals and strategies. You have to be careful there though, since like in most things, there are those who prey on the people who can least afford it. Avoid any that says they will "wipe out all your debt" because they won't. They are the bottom-feeders of the industry. A link below may help you find one that isn't out to take what little you have. You may also get a referral for a reputable service or agency from your bank or an attorney. There are probably forums that focus on situations like yours and you might find better info there, but I hope you find help in saving your home. Best of luck. Wayne Here is a link that might be useful: Department of Justice list of approved credit counseling agencies...See MoreDivorce
Comments (36)popi...I hope so, but sadly, I do not know them. Even friends who have divorced and remarried, and who are terrific women in their own right (successful, attractive, happy, and genuinely like children) have done the same things I see on the step parent forum. They have gone on to have a new baby in the new marriage, and have each in their own way done their best to push his children out, and formed a new family. They too, do not like his children. I listen to their "side" of things, and I think that we can all build a case against someone who upsets, threatens, or bugs us, and hyper focus on everything they do...all the while ignoring our own faults, or our own children who do the same things or worse. People who I thought (each one of them) that if anyone can pull this off, and do it well, it was these women. And yet, sadly, in each case, the story has turned out the same, as the stories I have read on the step parent forum. I used to think that if you were a terrific human being, and really liked children, and were happy and grounded, that you could eventually pull this off, and become one of the successful step families, where everyone is welcome, and loved, and they are thrilled to see the child on their weekend. Sadly, I do not know if this is realistic, or possible. We like to think that it is, and yes, I am still hopeful that there are people who can pull it off. Perhaps it works if the wife does not have any children of her own, and does her best to help him raise his children. I don't know. But how can we expect it to work, when we take a childs father away, move him into someone elses house, and he is now DAD to someone elses kids, rarely seeing his own child? And MOM has now remarried, (or has a new boyfriend) and lives with him, and perhaps his kids, and is now MOM to someone elses kids? They may now live in different states! Where is home for this child now? With MOM and her new lover? With DAD and his new lover? Where do they belong now? And looking at it from this angle, imagine it through the eyes of a child. Imagine yourself as a child, and "your" dad left your mom and is now living far away, with his new girl friend and "her kids". And mom is dressing and acting different and you barely see her anymore because she is always with her new boyfriend, at his place? See how painful it can get through the eyes of a child? It also seems that in so many situations, the bio-mom is made out to be this horrible woman, by the step mom. The bio moms I know are nice normal women. I wonder why we never hear a new wife talk about what a terrific woman her husbands ex is? why are they all made out to be so awful? Things get very complicated indeed. Sometimes it seems that we trade in one set of problems for another. Perhaps we divorce because of problems in the marriage. We want to believe that we can start over, and we will do it better next time. Instead, we may not have those problems that led to the divorce, but we may have new problems we never dreamed possible in a new marriage with steps....See MoreTrying to save my marriage...Advice?
Comments (16)Well I thought I would give you all a staus up date on my situation: I have wrote letters, cards, emails, telling her exactly what was suggested on here. Thursday night I get this email: David, Well, I've had right close to 4 weeks to think about everything that has happened to us and to our family. You are correct in what you said about how I felt about the whole situation. I feel like I had all this trust for you (finally) and then the bridge just collapsed beneath me. I understand that at the time your intentions were good and that you meant well by doing what you did.....but, at the same time I don't understand how you could have so little trust in me that you wouldn't tell me what was going on. Am I that horrible of a person that we couldn't talk and try to work this out together? Dave, how many times does it take getting your heart broken before you look at yourself in the mirror and wonder..."why am I doing this?" Every time something has happened to us I would just step back and tell myself "Ok Paula, this is the last time something like this will happen".....only to look further across that bridge to see that it has collapsed again. I know that you are making a lot of changes now.....that is awesome-I'm really proud of you. But, the fact of the matter is-will all those changes erase the hurt, distrust, and anger that I have? Will they make me forget everything? The answer is probably not. I want you to know that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life......this is not easy at all. David we have had two beautiful girls together-for that I will be forever grateful to you. I will always love you for the dad that you have and will continue to be to our girls. But, I don't think that I can be the wife that you deserve given the events that have taken place. I already have a hard time trusting people and I feel like if we continued our relationship I would constantly be looking over my shoulder...wondering what is going to come next. Always second guessing and "checking up" on things to make sure everything is kosher. That is no way to live. I feel like the best thing for me to do is to pick up and start over...get my priorities right-make things stable for our girls. I love that you are doing things to change yourself and you are getting help from Ashford (counsler)-it takes alot of courage to sit in an office and put your trust in a complete stranger and to ask them for help. I'm glad you are doing it-for yourself and your girls. I hope that we can still be a support system for each other-I do care an awful lot about you Dave. I also hope that we can continue to be civil to each other and be friendly toward one another (the girls will have a better time adjusting if they are able to see us get along). If there is anything I can do to support you in your changes-I am here for you. I don't hate you at all and I do forgive the situation-I just can't continue with this relationship. I know that what I'm saying in something you don't want to hear and I know that I have probably broken your heart....for that I am sorry. I don't like to hurt anyone-especially you.........I hope that we can still be good friends. love, Paula Then on Saturday she told me that she contacted an attorney and is drafting up a seperation agreement. Yes I am heart broken, and never wanted any of this to happen. I am completly beside myself and am lost without her in my life. I had the girls this weekend, and when I went to take them back, they were both crying that they wanted to stay with me and not go back to there grandma's...where they are staying. I know that they are just as confused as I am and to answer any questions involving the kids...the answer is no. I avoid it at all cost. My question now is this, since she has given up, or in my eyes she has, what are my next steps in this process? I have to thank each and everyone of you for offering your advice and I wish the circumstances were better, but they are not. I do love my wife, and miss her everyday that I am awake. I wanted a chance to make things right, but she has shut the door on our relationship....See MoreThe Divorce that NEVER Ends!
Comments (22)Dick and the way he handles his payments or lack of them is really no concern to you...and really doesn't affect what Nick owes. Not only are you taking on Nick's problems, but also Cari's, (who you barely know). Their payments and arrangements are their business and aren't an excuse or reason for Nick to not pay, or pay less. I wouldn't get involve with their legalities just on Cari's word and what you see (maye the in-laws bought the car, someone died and left an inheritance, etc). Nick and Jane's arrangements (and their kids) are the only thing you should even be thinking or worried about. You're focusing too much on personalities and who is right or wrong, what is fair, what should be, etc...when, in fact, you should be focusing on solving the actual problems.... getting all the orders to stop, getting money back if due for the oldest when not in school, making sure the billing is set up right for the kid's medical bills, and making sure your stuff is protected if you marry, right? How Jane is living, and how big a bit&h she and Dick may be really doesn't matter. Your hatred for them is going to drive you crazy. They are not worth worrying about. Repeat, they are NOT worth it. Quit thinking about fairness and try to resolve only what needs to be resolved that you can afford to do. Life isn't fair and people aren't nice and you will probably never be able to change Dick and Jane...They've taken enough from you financially, don't let them take your psyche and relationship too....See MoreToronto Veterinarian
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