Son getting married! I want to make favors for the wedding/rehearsal.
Annette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years ago
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Comments (22)
plllog
5 years agosooz
5 years agoRelated Discussions
Need advice - son marrying girl w/ divorced & remarried parents
Comments (29)Vala, I'm not sure what you mean by "just invite them" -- to the wedding itself, or to everything we plan? It's not really for me to invite her parents to the wedding; actually, I don't know who will be the "official" hosts for the wedding itself. We (the couple and all the parents) are all contributing to the costs, and we're all (maybe not so much her dad, at least not so far) participating in the planning, too. I don't know (or especially care) how the invitations read. We aren't planning on paying for anyone's hotel rooms, although everyone will be staying at the same hotel, where the reception will be. As for meals, other than Friday and Saturday nights (and the wedding on Sunday), we'll have bagels and coffee available in the hospitality area at the hotel at breakfast times, but not a "real" meal, except for more substantial food, but still drop-in buffet style in the hospitality area, for brunch on Monday. I feel very confident that that will work out fine, because at the sister's wedding last week, everyone stayed at the hotel, which had a breakfast buffet in the lobby, and everyone hung out there without any problem. In fact, they crossed paths often and were gracious to each other. So really, only Friday and Saturday nights are at issue, and after last week, I really am feeling confident about that, too. I think we are going to get through the wedding weekend just fine and, I hope, feel close with both her parents and their families. We got a really good start last week. I am grateful for the insight and advice you all are giving me. I have another question for AFTER the wedding, but I'll start another string!...See MoreDo I even bother getting married?
Comments (35)Well, it was a long long weekend, but we did a lot of talking. Things seem to be more at peace here. We sat down and set some guide lines as to rules for ALL of the kids! What will be tolerated and what wont be. The first and most important rule was it was to be understood that this is my home too, and she may not have to "like" me right now but she has to show me some sort of respect...i.e. not yelling at me or when I tell her not to do something do it anyway (and BD letting her). We have a list of things, I sat down and said this is what I want and expect and he did the same. We compromised on things (BIG BIG DEAL FOR HIM), he did give in on 3 really really big things that where putting me over the edge. More having to do with his ex-wife, that right there made me so at peace I was willing to work with SD and her diva attitude. BM called here last night at 10pm and we were all in bed sleeping we had been up since 5am fishing and having family day with my parents. This was something we discussed, that there are appropriate times for her to call so he can speak to his daughter (they are out of the state on vacation) but this happens all the time. He calmly said look we are all in bed sleeping and you know she (that's me) has him (my son) in bed, please respect her enough not to call after 9 because that's his bed time. Well, she wanted to cop attitude saying I was just calling to let you speak to your daughter I can't help it there's a time difference where we are right now, if it's a problem then I just wont call. He gave it back to her, telling her that she was being a b*tch and was over reacting, that if he called her really late at night she would be just as mad. That just don't call so late, that's all he asked. This made me smile, because this was the first time he stuck up for what I wanted in my home. No one in either family call's past 8 unless important because that's bedtime routine, teeth bath's stories and relax time, no one wants to hear the phone ring and people blabbing when your trying to relax to go to bed. ~ Steppin_out and as for your comment, I do agree that running away doesn't solve anything. BUT when you allow a 4 year old into your home and one who acts like this one, it is different I wasn't allowed to say ANYTHING when it came to her. I have a 3 year old who didn't understand why she could run and scream and throw fits just because but he would get into trouble when he did the things she was doing. You can shape a 4 year old this is true but you have to be able to be ALLOWED to do so! It is different when your children are at the age that they can understand what is going on, but at 3 they do not. "why is it when daddy comes over to play with me she throws a fit and he goes to her, it must be ok to do that to get attention." When we are being sued every year for this and that, and she wants up to pay for her name to be changed back to her maiden name, she wants him to have supervised visits because she refuses to follow there original visitation agreements, this is a problem. What her little girl gets more because she was born first then the one I am giving birth to in 3 months this is a problem. She keeps asking for more money because she started going to back to school and now has to pay tuition, she has no bills because she and her two kids live at home with her parents along with the man she was cheating on my STBH with. There is no daycare because she works part-time at night and school is at night so her mom watch's the kids while she is gone. There is no rent, car payment, groceries. Her only bill is her cellphone and tuition. Tell me why I should want to have my family do without because she is one of those women who wants money money money! So don't call people sad and pathetic when you don't know the entire story. I would never walkout on my 3 year old because of his temper tantrums but I would discipline him accordingly! When it isn't your child that aspect goes out the window....See MoreManners at rehearsal and at Wedding......
Comments (6)I sympathize with you. I am an independent wedding planner and I have either seen it or my church coordinator friends have told me about it. One church coordinator told me about a bride whose younger brother is a skate boarding champion. She wanted to put a ramp up the steps leading to the front of the church (altar area), then have her brother skateboard in to light the candles at the beginning of the ceremony!! Another church coordinator told me about a western style wedding where the couple brought in bales of straw and set them all over at the front of the church. When they left, they took the bales but left all the straw particles that fell off all over the floor. They also used dry ice to create "fog" for the groom and officiant to enter through!! Fortunately, I haven't had any quite that silly. I have, however, helped a couple of churches create guidelines they share with the bride. They collect a refundable deposit from the bride (separate check), which puts the bride on notice that her wedding party had better behave. When people do goofy things, the bride loses her deposit....See MoreSon wants us to pay for wedding
Comments (36)I don't know if the OP is still reading this string, but I think that we are getting off her point. She didn't ask how to do a wedding inexpensively. She didn't ask for opinions on whether spending money for "just one day" is silly or worth it. She didn't give any indication that she felt that the budget was too much, either as a matter of principle or with regard to her own finances. Here is what she DID say: My problem with this is that one, they are way too young to be getting married, and two, he is not able to support himself (due to debts he has accumulated)let alone a wife. He has acknowledged his unwise money choices but has yet to take action to fix these problem areas. ... Should we help pay for a wedding that we really don't support ...? We want to still have a relationship with our son and finance but... I feel like my husband and I are in a no win situation. Her question was not how to economize. It was whether, given that she feels they are not mature enough or prepared to get married right now, it would be wrong for her to agree to pay for the wedding. The dollar figure wasn't the issue (for all we know, pecan is a bazillionaire who would be happy to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for a wedding --IF she approved of the marriage), it was the message of approval and endorsement for what she understandably considers an unwise move on her son's part. I doubt she would feel any different if they came to her with a budget of $500. What would make her feel good is if they came to her and said they had decided to wait until they are older and financially stable. Pecan, how are you doing with this dilemma?...See Moresheilajoyce_gw
5 years agosooz
5 years agoparty_music50
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
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5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agoparty_music50
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoparty_music50
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agoBluebell66
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoBluebell66
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoBluebell66
5 years agoAnnette Holbrook(z7a)
5 years agoBluebell66
5 years agol pinkmountain
5 years agosheilajoyce_gw
5 years ago
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Annette Holbrook(z7a)Original Author