Son getting married! I want to make favors for the wedding/rehearsal.
7 years ago
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- 7 years ago
- 7 years ago
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Destination wedding/Rehearsal dinner
Comments (11)Intrestingly, I was reading the big Emily Post's Etiquette (15th edition, which is a few years old now; she's up to the 17th), and it said: "All the members of the bridal party (with the exception of ver young flower girls, pages, or ring bearers), the immediate famliies of the bride and groom, and out-of-town relatives who have arrived for the wedding are invited." Not "sometimes invited"; "are invited." In my two areas (small-town midwest, and big-city NYC), that doesn't happen. She goes on: "if facilities and finances permit, a few very close friends are often included, especially whose who come from a distance." (but then, they'd be "out of town guests," no? I sense some inconsistency) "If the clergyman is a prsonal friend, or comes from out of town, he and his wife should also be invited. "Husbands, wives, fiances, and live-in companions of the attendants go to the rehearsal dinner, but "dates" ar enot included." There are seating diagrams, etc--she treats it much like a big wedding. And though she says 'music and dancing are not at all essential.." she also says "Other[s] [rehearsal dinners] are far more elaborate. A strolling violinist or accordionist may play romantic background music, or there may be a full orchestra and after-dinner dancing." That seems way overboard to me! and, int he section on menu: "when the wedding is large and formal, the style of the rehearsal dinner is too, and the meal compares to that of any formal dinner. However such an elaborate and expensive menu is in no way necessary. If the wedding is informal and nontraditional, the menu should be also." I really disagree w/ the implication that the rehearsal dinner *should* be formal if the wedding is. A contrast in tone is kind of nice. And all this sort of implies a fanciness and a scale that I think is too likely to compete w/ the rehearsal dinner. But I think for our OP, the fact that the hostess is worried about it being too big and too expensive, that recruiting someone else to organize outings, etc., is a better idea....See MoreDo I even bother getting married?
Comments (35)Well, it was a long long weekend, but we did a lot of talking. Things seem to be more at peace here. We sat down and set some guide lines as to rules for ALL of the kids! What will be tolerated and what wont be. The first and most important rule was it was to be understood that this is my home too, and she may not have to "like" me right now but she has to show me some sort of respect...i.e. not yelling at me or when I tell her not to do something do it anyway (and BD letting her). We have a list of things, I sat down and said this is what I want and expect and he did the same. We compromised on things (BIG BIG DEAL FOR HIM), he did give in on 3 really really big things that where putting me over the edge. More having to do with his ex-wife, that right there made me so at peace I was willing to work with SD and her diva attitude. BM called here last night at 10pm and we were all in bed sleeping we had been up since 5am fishing and having family day with my parents. This was something we discussed, that there are appropriate times for her to call so he can speak to his daughter (they are out of the state on vacation) but this happens all the time. He calmly said look we are all in bed sleeping and you know she (that's me) has him (my son) in bed, please respect her enough not to call after 9 because that's his bed time. Well, she wanted to cop attitude saying I was just calling to let you speak to your daughter I can't help it there's a time difference where we are right now, if it's a problem then I just wont call. He gave it back to her, telling her that she was being a b*tch and was over reacting, that if he called her really late at night she would be just as mad. That just don't call so late, that's all he asked. This made me smile, because this was the first time he stuck up for what I wanted in my home. No one in either family call's past 8 unless important because that's bedtime routine, teeth bath's stories and relax time, no one wants to hear the phone ring and people blabbing when your trying to relax to go to bed. ~ Steppin_out and as for your comment, I do agree that running away doesn't solve anything. BUT when you allow a 4 year old into your home and one who acts like this one, it is different I wasn't allowed to say ANYTHING when it came to her. I have a 3 year old who didn't understand why she could run and scream and throw fits just because but he would get into trouble when he did the things she was doing. You can shape a 4 year old this is true but you have to be able to be ALLOWED to do so! It is different when your children are at the age that they can understand what is going on, but at 3 they do not. "why is it when daddy comes over to play with me she throws a fit and he goes to her, it must be ok to do that to get attention." When we are being sued every year for this and that, and she wants up to pay for her name to be changed back to her maiden name, she wants him to have supervised visits because she refuses to follow there original visitation agreements, this is a problem. What her little girl gets more because she was born first then the one I am giving birth to in 3 months this is a problem. She keeps asking for more money because she started going to back to school and now has to pay tuition, she has no bills because she and her two kids live at home with her parents along with the man she was cheating on my STBH with. There is no daycare because she works part-time at night and school is at night so her mom watch's the kids while she is gone. There is no rent, car payment, groceries. Her only bill is her cellphone and tuition. Tell me why I should want to have my family do without because she is one of those women who wants money money money! So don't call people sad and pathetic when you don't know the entire story. I would never walkout on my 3 year old because of his temper tantrums but I would discipline him accordingly! When it isn't your child that aspect goes out the window....See MoreManners at rehearsal and at Wedding......
Comments (6)I sympathize with you. I am an independent wedding planner and I have either seen it or my church coordinator friends have told me about it. One church coordinator told me about a bride whose younger brother is a skate boarding champion. She wanted to put a ramp up the steps leading to the front of the church (altar area), then have her brother skateboard in to light the candles at the beginning of the ceremony!! Another church coordinator told me about a western style wedding where the couple brought in bales of straw and set them all over at the front of the church. When they left, they took the bales but left all the straw particles that fell off all over the floor. They also used dry ice to create "fog" for the groom and officiant to enter through!! Fortunately, I haven't had any quite that silly. I have, however, helped a couple of churches create guidelines they share with the bride. They collect a refundable deposit from the bride (separate check), which puts the bride on notice that her wedding party had better behave. When people do goofy things, the bride loses her deposit....See Moreson marrying overseas, reception in USA?
Comments (5)I'm sure whatever you do your guests, because they are a small group of people who love you, will be just fine with it. I wouldn't have anyone "bless the union" or other quasi-ritual that is just for show. It's unnecessary and feels, to me, a little cheapening of wedding rituals: they either mean something or they don't, KWIM? The guests aren't going to feel cheated if they don't see some made-up ritual. I think that you all might end up feeling awkward if you do that. The way pkpk23 did it is almost like having two weddings, from what I can tell. A lot of people frown on that, but I don't, especially when it's for a good reason (like this is, in my opinion) -- as opposed to just wanting more gifts or attention. So if you really want a ritual, maybe you have a situation where they won't have had a religious wedding yet? If so, then you're all set -- they had a civil (or other type of religious) ceremony in Japan, and now one in your religion here. That's not a do-over just for show; it's another ritual with another meaning. Otherwise, I'd skip it. Who is it for? I'd just have a fabulous reception with some of the trappings of a wedding. A wedding cake and even a bridal gown (I wouldn't want to wear one if I were the bride, but if she really wants to, it's at most a bit eye-rolling and it certainly doesn't affect anyone else; just please don't pressure her to do it if she doesn't want to), and especially toasts and speeches and special dances wouldn't seem amiss to me at all. But I wouldn't have bridesmaids, a bouquet toss, and things like that. No real logical reason to make the distinction, but some things feel a little bit silly to me while others don't. But none of them would hurt anyone! So if you all want every bit of it, go ahead. As for the invitations, I would have them read "Dinner and Dancing [or "a reception"] in honor of Thusnelda and Cuthbert, who were/will be married in Tokyo on [date]." MAKE SURE that the date of your party is in much more prominent type than the date of the marriage, or you risk the guests writing down the wrong date. In fact, I'd just put something like "in February" for the marriage, not the specific calendar date....See More- 7 years ago
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Annette Holbrook(z7a)Original Author