The VOID between the Wedding & the Reception
8 years ago
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Favorite wedding gift? Worst wedding gift?
Comments (66)We got two gifts in total. A vacuum cleaner and a pressure cooker. Both most welcome and the pc is still in use. No ’shower’ and only 8 wedding guests. Just parents, siblings and their spouses. DD got married during covid with the permitted 6 guests but a year later we had a party with 100 guests. They requested no gifts, just donations to two charities. The Italian side of the family found this diffcult to grasp and gave a lot of knickknacks they neither want nor need....See MoreDestination Wedding, At home Reception
Comments (2)I rarely disagree with sweet pea, and I don't on almost everything she wrote, except I wouldn't wear a wedding gown, and I don't think your husband should wear a tuxedo (unless it is a black tie party anyway, of course). (I stress that I am thinking of a traditional wedding gown; if you mean a regular dress, even a long white one, that you are planning to wear to your wedding, then wear it, as long as it isn't dressier than what the guests will be wearing, or at least not much -- i.e., if they will be wearing short party dresses, you could go ahead and wear an evening gown, but not if the party is casual or in the daytime.) Your guests won't say anything, but some will be secretly laughing and thinking that you are being kind of silly, and maybe even that "they just really want to have it all -- they didn't care enough about our presence to have the wedding where we could be included, but they still want us to admire them in their finery." This is one of the tricky things about destination weddings; you have to be careful not to be trying to do the same wedding more than one way. But you can have an absolutely terrific party for your home reception, dressy or not as you prefer. Wedding gowns are for weddings, and yours will have been a different day. Wear a smashing party dress or terrific casual outfit, according to whatever kind of party you choose. (I'd rather wear that than a wedding gown any time.) I like the idea of photos or a video from the wedding, but only if (1) either everyone or practially no one (wedding party and close family excepted) at the reception was invited to the wedding -- otherwise you're showing your B-list friends all the fun the A-list had; and (2) if you do a video, have it running on a loop somewhere where people can go and watch all or part of it as they wish; don't sit them down and give a presentation of the film. This is the same issue as the wedding gown; if you want them to see the ceremony, then have them attend it, but don't exclude them and then force them to watch a video or, worse, a reinactment. As to what you should do and what you should have -- well, your imagination is the limit! A reception is a party. So have whatever kind of party suits your personalities, your budget, and your guests' tastes -- anything from a backyard picnic to a white-tie extravaganza. Although I would, as I said above, avoid any type of pseudo-ceremony -- don't fall into the trap of thinking your guests will feel cheated otherwise; they won't -- it would be great to have the same types of toasts and thank-you speeches and, if you have dancing, wedding dances that you would have at any other wedding reception....See Morewedding gift when invite is reception only??
Comments (9)Bringing a gift to a wedding reception is tacky....you did the right thing by sending the gift on ahead. A wedding gift is properly either sent to the bride before the wedding or to their home after the wedding. Go to the party and have fun! If everyone invited to a wedding reception brought a gift it would present a major logistical problem! When my daughter was married, we thought that some would bring gifts to the reception but didn't plan on them bringing gifts to the church....so hurriedly someone had to be recruited to get the gifts from the church to our house because the gift people at the reception were already doing their thing by labelling every gift as it was placed on the table. You did the right thing....don't take anything but your good wishes to the recption. Lidna C...See MoreCeremony and Reception at different locations?
Comments (5)I am sure someone can help you. I just want to sympathize with you for such a complicated set of events. I would try to simplify for sure. You are going to stress yourselves out. I don't know the family or cultural circumstances of your area weddings, but let me try to suggest what might help you. We had mostly out of town guests at our wedding in 2005. As a result, we did the wedding and reception at the same location in the hopes of not stressing our guests trying to find their way around a congested area that is new to them. The rehearsal dinner the night before included transportation on rented busses to the location several miles away. Typically, the rehearsal dinner the night before, the wedding and the reception are held in the bride's home town or close by. I see no reason not to continue with that tradition as most people expect that. Have you two or his family planned a rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding? This can be less fancy, even a BBQ or a beach party. Around here, we invite the wedding party, their significant others, immediate family of the bride and groom, and all out of town guests who have arrived early. Some keep the event smaller and less expensive and limit it to the wedding party, their dates, and the family. Then the wedding is the next day, and the reception follows it that day. If you want to have a party later in a distant town, it does not have to be another wedding reception. It could be an Open House to meet the new Mr. and Mrs. James Smith and it could be held or hosted at someone's home or at a restaurant/country club/hotel. It can be fancy or a backyard or park BBQ. I do not think I would call it another reception. So you see, you have lots of opportunities to host or be honored at events. I sure hope you can call on someone in his family to host an event for you later to meet everyone but have a traditional wedding and reception in the bride's home town to which everyone is invited. If the wedding is early enough in the day, guests can plan to return home that night after the reception and avoid the trouble and expense of hotel stays. Good luck. Congratulations....See More- 8 years ago
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