My friend wants to know if her hostas are OK
newhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years ago
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New hostas for my friend arrived---how to keep them til planted?
Comments (4)Your ideas gave me a brainstorm, but with the following caution---if I potted the newly-arrived gorgeous hostas individually and set them outside, I am afraid that they would "develop legs". Nice things outside do have a habit of developing legs, especially with a housing project a few blocks away marring an otherwise lovely neighborhood. My Brooklyn friend, for whom all these plants are destined, has a large elevated brick porch at the top of her porch steps. It has brick walls all around, to boot. Upon the front wall sit 2 long skinny plastic planters, which is where I plant annuals for her every year. I seem to remember one of them is sort of aged and could stand to be replaced. I can buy a long skinny green plastic planter to replace it and use it here to plant the lovely new hostas in it. Then I could set this behind the Obligatory Bushes, out of the sight of passersby. Once the hostas are planted, we could just use this new planter on her porch. I think the hostas would be safer in a heavy planter than in individual pots, soooo tempting to pick up and walk away with. I would just have to pick up the heavy planter to put it into my car, but I think I'm up to that task. If not, I could ask a neighbor, like the strapping son of my handicapped neighbor. And, I just this minute got off the phone to HostasDirect, asking where my heuchie order is. The heuchies are to accompany the hostas under my friend's 2 big ball-shaped bushes in the front "yard" (by Brooklyn standards, it's a front yard. By you outoftowners' standards, it would be big enough to set 3 very large doghouses on, maybe). I should know by tomorrow, via phone call and/or email, when to expect the heuchies. They will be lil bitty things, as I could not find large specimens for all the varieties I wanted. I will have to explain to my friend that they will get bigger next year....See MoreSD14 wants to live with us....her mom making her feel guilty
Comments (32)tos~ How she and her best friends have maintained their friendship, despite the miles, is a source of amazement to all of us. They have a very special relationship and they are all so close. I was just speaking to one of the other mothers last pm, and we both continue to marvel at the strength of their bond. They make it a point to spend lots of time together whenever they can (when she's here for visits). My stepson is best friends with the 2 older brothers in the families, and we adults are friendly as well...have occasional cookouts, pool parties, etc. Although, I think the kids friendship has fostered the adult/family gatherings.... As far as her friends in NC...the majority of her non-school time is spent in dance class, so she is friendly with the girls she dances with. But she says that she really doesn't have any super-close school friends that she "hangs out with", etc. She rarely has sleepovers or talks of anything she does with other kids there. Mostly she is at the dance studio...she's a very accomplished dancer. Lack of good friends there was actually one of the things she discussed when she brought up the idea of coming here for high school. So tos, it's your turn....are you a step-parent? Are you a NCP? What would you have told your daughter in the "hypothetical" situation I posted?...seriously WWYD? Like you, I have no intention of EVER divorcing, but I can "imagine" what I'd do if I were faced with a similar situation....so, please, tell us what you'd say. For the record, my DH fought the move in court. Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and spousal infidelity has NO bearing on custody, whatsoever. Michigan is VERY pro-mom, despite the fact the courts say they have no "gender bias". Essentially, the only time a mother does not win custody is if she can be deemed "unfit", due to drugs or extreme circumstances. Even homeless mothers win custody here...since we have many women/children shelters, etc. It's really disturbing that the courts do not really have the best interest of the child as their main focus. At the time of his ex-wife's affair, the children were ages 1 & 4. Since they were babies (toddler) he felt that the kids should stay in their home, and with his work schedule at the time, it just made more sense for her to stay in the house. He got an apartment closeby with the understanding that it would be temporary while they "worked on it". Obviously, the outcome was different than the plan. Trust me, if he could have changed the outcome of the custody situation, he would have. Initially, they had joint custody, 50/50 split. When she decided to move, she filed for sole physical, joint legal. He fought it and lost. The judge thought that her soon-to-be new husbands job promotion was more important than children having close, easy access to both parents. That was the sole deciding factor...her husbands increased income. So they can use spouse income to decided custody, but they won't use it to calculate child support...go figure...great court system....See MoreShould I tell my friend her "Interior Decorator" is ripping her off?
Comments (46)Wow lots of heated opinions! But thanks for sharing them! It's interesting to hear all the different thought processes. Olychic: Ouch! We are very good friends, I just tend to overthink things! And I'm also just ridiculously curious about how people think so it's sort of fun for me to hear all the different opinions. :) But I am super glad I just went with my gut. Anyway I just wanted to update you all. It all worked out much easier than anticipated. I asked her how the project was going and that got her talking about how the ID is now delaying the project by quite a bit and blaming her for bad communication....(smh) Anyway turns out she's already having second thoughts, so I didn't really need to say much. I just mostly agreed with her and threw in a couple of ideas too. She's going to try to somehow renegotiate. Hopefully it goes well! I'm grateful to everyone who posted. Thank you!...See MoreMy friend lost her spouse very suddenly & I don't know how to help her
Comments (9)My husband passed and I immediately called my friends and asked for help. They picked me up the next day and went with me to make all arrangements having done the same themselves a few months before. I don't know how close you are. Does she have friends & family around who can help her get through the next week, going to the funeral home with her, making arrangements? Did she call you or did somebody else tell you about it? A friend lost an adult child last year. She called me so I knew that it was OK to step up to the plate. I immediately went to her house and made all the phone calls, checking prices and talking with her about it. She couldn't handle it alone. Is there somebody to do that for your friend? If she has somebody helping her with those things you can either ask that person, or just wait until after the service and visit and talk to her and her children. Next thing, buy her some healthy frozen dishes, preferably home made, for her freezer. Some Shepherd's pies or quiches for example. No matter what you do, I think the worst time is the months afterwards. When you offer to help make a suggestion -- drive the kids to their grandmother? Bring a dinner? I'm really tired myself tonight. I'll think about it....See MoreKarin Black Cat
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 IndianapolisKarin Black Cat
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agoKarin Black Cat
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked Karin Black Catnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 IndianapolisKarin Black Cat
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked Karin Black Catnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agonicholsworth Z6 Indianapolis
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada thanked nicholsworth Z6 Indianapolisnewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years agonewhostalady Z6 ON, Canada
5 years ago
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