I don't live near to any of them, but I think I would give a quick call first. Okay, call it a warning!!! LOL!

With my daughter, i just drop in. When I'm in the area of my son and his family, i always call. Daughters in law do not like being caught offguard. The house could be messy or the kids dirty, etc. I wouldnt like to make her feel uncomfortable.

All three of mine live within 20 to 40 minutes - I've never dropped by. They all work and none of them work standard 9 - 5 jobs. Only one is married and since his wife works too - there's no way I would know if they were home unless I called.

However I love it when they dropp in here unexpectedly! It does happen but not as often as I would like.

Now that we have moved to just miles from son and DIL's home, I would never think of dropping by except to just drop off/pick up something. Not to stay more than 3 minutes. I think that they feel the same. But I've often called or been called to be invited over even if just for a brief visit.

I always call first or wait to be invited. They do the same when coming here.

I would not. My in laws drop in unannounced once a week. Usually Sunday afternoon when both my husband and I are working in the yard. They always say they don’t want to keep us, but it’s at least 45 minutes. And of course it’s too hot for them to just chat while we keep doing stuff, so they want to go inside.

We live about 45 minutes apart. If we are in each other's area we call first to see if it's OK to drop by. Our kids have house keys to our home but would never just walk in without calling with one exception. The exception is DS who has some mail sent here. It is kept by the front entrance for him and due to his continuous work 24/7 schedule he will sometimes slip in at some odd hour and pick it up. He never goes past the entry unless we are expecting him and has managed to come and get his mail with us home in broad daylight without us even knowing until we see his mail is gone. This is by mutual agreement since he often doesn't have time to chat and knows I will want to delay him. ;-)

I live a few miles from both kids. I stop unannounced at daughter's house twice a week but since I do this regularly they know to expect me. Friday night is one time and we usually go to Panera to eat with her. We stop on Sunday for a few minutes on our way home from our hike in the nature preserve. Sometimes she goes with us. Son I stop unannounced if I have tomatoes or something for him but we don't stay.

My son is a mile down the street and no, we do not drop by unannounced. We give a quick call or arrange something. There are too many people with too many things going on.

Personally, I do not like to drop by anybody's home unannounced. If I want to visit spontaneously, I'd still phone first.

We don't have any kids so this is not an issue for me. But, my MIL used to drop by unannounced at various times of the day and it drove me nuts. Sometimes I'd be getting ready to go to work or just getting home tired after a long day. Other times we'd be cleaning, working in the yard, just sitting down to eat, getting ready to leave the house or entertaining friends. It wasnt until she became too old to drive that it finally stopped.

my mom always called first or i knew in advance that she and my dad were coming from a previous phone call. she really respected us and herself. very rarely did she and my dad ever just pop in! if they did it was for a reason.

my MIL on the other just comes over, opens the door and walks in! (door is locked at all times b/c of this!!) so rude in my book. but when she does it, i feel no obligation to sit and talk etc. i keep on going with whatever i am doing and DH basically does the same. that's what happens when u don't call. you can't expect people to "drop everything" b/c u pop in. just rude and disrespectful of others.

all my children live at home, so no experience there. but we would never just stop in. everyone's life is full, so to me its a matter of respect for yourself and others.

edited to add; we would have no problem if the kids, in the future, stop by unannounced, this is and always will be their home :)

When they lived close enough to visit, I always planned by calling to be sure they were around. I know if I were in their shoes, I would appreciate a heads up. Clean up the worst of the toys, put the dishes in the dish washer, etc. We live over an hour away, so no sudden visits were our style.

Never. But, both DD's live in the city, so 45-60 minutes away. We will be spontaneous but will call to arrange.

Right now oldest came up last night spur of the moment. DH sent her a picture of a pie I just made.

We would never drop in unannounced. And, I really wouldn't want them to do that either.

We just had an issue with DH's sister. We had out of town relatives and she included herself in almost the entire weekend of plans. (She was scheduled by these relatives for her own visit with them in her home. ) At the end of it all, DH had words with her about it. Now it has gotten back to us that she is telling others that she is not welcome in our home. They will work it out, but quite honestly, it is not considerate to make an announcement publically (so relatives heard) that you are coming without discussing the plans with us (the ones hosting) first.

I live 7 minutes walking time from 3 grandchildren. They stop in whenever they wish and they're always welcome.

Ours lives 8 hours away so yes, they always know we're coming

My kids live elsewhere and visits are planned. But if they were they in town, and certainly what we do for friends, is to call first. I think it's inconsiderate to arrive at anyone's house without checking first.

Our 2 sons are an hour and a half and almost 2 hours away so no we don’t stop in without checking first. Our daughter is 25-30 minutes away. We call first even if it’s just to pick up or drop off something quick. They do the same. We have keys to each other’s houses so we let each other know if we will be going in when they aren’t home.

When both kids lived in the city I work in (now only my daughter does), I always message them to set up visiting times or go out. I tried not to go out with my daughter too much when she was in a relationship because she usually didn't have more than a day or two off a week. I didn't want to hog all her free time.

We would not drop by to see our kids without asking or being invited. They both have partners and it's out of consideration to them. Our kids, however, do just drop in to say hi, after all, we're their mom and dad.

Just like I appreciate knowing when my kids and (driving) grandkids are going to stop by, we always call before going to their houses.

My In-laws used to drop by unannounced, frequently. I considered it rude and inconsiderate. Both DH and I worked full time jobs that often involved 10-12 hour days. When we were home our time was for the children, "us" or chores. Their dropping by frequently interrupted something important. When I was diagnosed with the lymphoma, I told my DH he needed to put a stop to the behavior. He told his mother (his father had passed by then) that in view of my illness, she was not welcome unannounced. She had 47 kinds of fits, but to his credit, he stood his ground. She still drops snide remarks about the rule, but does abide by it.

No. You never know what they are doing at that moment and it may not be something that they can or want to stop doing. Definitely do not use any key that they have given you "just in case" or you may see something you wish you hadn't.

I don't make unannounced visits to them, but I would hope my kids never feel the need to call before they come here! This is "home".

Each kid stopped living in my house when they left for college. It's my home, not theirs, and they feel the same way. It's the house they grew up in but it's no longer their "home". If in the neighborhood unexpectedly, I would hope their manners suggest the need to call first. Common courtesy. That's what has happened, and there's never been an issue.

No, of course not! I despise unannounced visitors and assume anyone I might visit would feel the same. DD never stops by without calling or texting first, either. She was raised right. lol

She was raised right. lol - imstillchloecat

And my kids weren't? Oh well, I guess I'm just a bad mom. Whatever.

Well, DS works varying hours and I have to ring a doorbell at street level, after paying for parking, so...no.

Blfenton, I think it’s what works for your family. With my in laws it has been going on for more than 25 years. They don’t take hints. Except for the “we don’t want to interrupt” speech. Since that’s what I have been telling them every time. They interrupt. And if I have to go inside with them all sweaty from working in 90+ degrees and am freezing with the AC, I am getting cranky. One of my daughters is in College close by, so I know she will be home most weekends. The other one is up in New York and she knows to let me know in time to freshen her room and stock up on groceries. Of course that’s not the same.

Lol Blfenton - you inferred a lot from my post.

Blfenton, that's okay neither were mine. lol Mine show up, usually in the middle of the night..which is okay during the week since I work evening shift but on the weekends and holidays, they wake me up when I have to get up early in the morning which isn't so fun. They don't do it very often. A few weeks ago my daughter and her then boyfriend came to my house to see the dogs. She was surprised I was at home lol.

I guess I have always encouraged my children to still think of my house as still their home, and they are always welcome here. But I have always done DD the courtesy of calling first before going over, unless I'm just dropping off something that we've previously discussed or picking up or dropping off a grandchild. My DS lives elsewhere, but I would never have dropped by there - one does not do that with DIL's.

I always let them know as they both live an hour and a half away and we are usually planning lunch or dinner together.

I don't have children of my own and my husband's son's family live in another state so they always let us know if they are coming over since it would be an over night stay.

I prefer anyone that wants to visit to call us before arriving. I do the same. We enjoy our visits from our friends and family but want to be prepared for them. I really don't want anyone to see me in the morning lol!

From the comments and the number of people who are buying guns for home protection coming in unannounced day or night could get someone killed. It already has. If those of you that already have guns and allow people to come into your house unannounced think about it. Many on here are of the age that are starting to have night vision and hearing problems. My comment is not about having guns in the house but the inadvisability of not calling/texting to announce that someone is on the way. At night I do not think texting would be advisable because the sound may be turned off.

My now deceased in-laws always dropped by unannounced-always,and always also stated that they always felt welcomed in our home.

We too,often dropped in to see them-unannounced and were always treated graciously

I text or have spoken with DS to let him know we may be in over the course of the wknd....he would never have to text or call to come visit with us.....hes always welcomed unannounced or previously planned...always

I never drop in, even though she's only a mile away. It's easy to call or text first.

When we moved to Michigan to be closer to my daughter and her hubby, we all agreed that no one would stop by without a call first. I think it’s just being courteous not to show up unannounced.

This is one of those family custom things that doesn't have a right or wrong answer - it's just whatever works best and is agreed upon for one's own family.

I was welcome in my parents home, without calling first, at any hour of the day or night. They lived close by, and particularly as they aged and started having health problems, they wanted me to stop in all the time. So I did. My spouse was also welcome in their home at any time. (He became their personal handyman as their health declined and I think they liked seeing him more than seeing me show up. They knew when he showed up work items were about to get done. Ha ha...)

My parents have since passed on and I don't have children of my own. My MIL lives a thousand miles away and can't travel much, so no danger of her showing up unannounced. But in the past, both of my parents and my in-laws were welcome at any time without calling. No one ever abused that drop-in and I guess since I liked all of them it just was never a big deal to me.

However I would never just show up at anyone else's house without calling first. We treated parents as special exceptions. :)

We have 3 adult children and we call first before visiting. One lives 10 miles from our house, the second, 70 miles, and the third 800 miles. If we should drop by, they might not be home and could be in another state.

It makes sense to call before driving more than a mile. We're 7 minutes apart, walking. If they aren't home, a walk doesn't hurt the body. If we're visiting son and his wife in Canada, or course we schedule a visit. If they call to schedule a visit, we cancel any and all plans. Our family comes first.

My family is always welcome at any time. Announced or unannounced.

My son lives next door, so I only pop in on occasion if I need to tell him something. I love when he comes to see me but it's not very often

Kids or strangers, I give advance notice. Even on phone calls, I’ll say, “are you in the middle of something or do you have time to chat? I get yesses and I get nos. We go from there. Since I’m not long-winded in my communications, I feel the answers are always truthful so never felt bad if I hear NO and they always call back when they can.

We didn't have to call before dropping by my parent's house, but most of the time we did. Now, since my mom has passed and my Dad is remarried, they live close by and drive past our house to get to town. I think if they see us home, they pull in and don't call us first. It bothers me only sometimes, but I would never let them know that. And, even if they did call-I couldn't say no. I love that my Dad feels comfortable enough to do that.

Now, my brother, that is another story...my Dad (along with his wife), out driving around (they are retired), has actually called my brother a couple of times before wanting to stop by and has told my Dad that it's not a good time-because of my sister in law. I just could never do that. By the way, this is about once every 2 months my Dad calls to go visit with my brother and wife, so it's not that often.

Olliesmom makes a good point. With some people you don’t mind at all if they call or not. So requiring a call could be standoffish or a reflection of how you feel about that person. There is an in-law who’s not my fave. Person came by unannounced (for the umpteenth time and despite prior requests) and I became unhinged. Had I liked the person, I probably wouldn’t have had a fit. There was never another impromptu visit but it wasnt a warm, fuzzy relationship either, after this.

Yes, Bossy so so true.

We had out of town relatives visiting and DH's sister who lives 45 minutes away invited herself and even asked to sleep over. She more or less included herself in all of the downtimes. She herself was scheduled with the same relative for her own visit in her own home.

At the end of the weekend, when the relatives were off touring, DH had words with his sister. He felt that by her being there ALL the time, he did not have a chance for a one on one conversation with the niece. She told him, "Well, what was I supposed to do? Wait until the middle of the week when they said they were going to visit me?" DH told her yes, that this trip was for the relatives to take their kids to see NYC and we were just a part of the story.

I think if DH "liked" her this would not have been an issue. She is a widow on a limited income and we basically give her a place to live and help with most of her expenses. He is a really good brother to someone who is very manipulative, and I think this is why he lost it with her.

They will work it out. This is his only sibling left. But, hopefully, she will realize that she can't just decide how and when she should be included without asking first.

Y'all remind me of a couple of anecdotes. My brother had briefly moved in with my mother after my father died. My parents were both hunters, and there were had always been guns in the house, but, once she was the single woman living alone, she got a little jumpy and kept one under her pillow. One night my brother came in very late, & as he put his key in the door, he heard her stirring around. He yelled, "don't shoot, Mother, it's me!"........ and a former neighbor told me this one. Her grown daughter called one afternoon, and even though she and her husband were, ahem, right in the middle of something intimate, Marianne, a very loving and attentive mother, picked up the phone just in case Shelley had been in a car wreck or something. First words out of Shelley's mouth? "Hi Mom, what are you doing?" Taken by surprise, Marianne said that she replied the first thing that came to her mind. "Your dad and I are packing books."