Maybe the problem is that you're insisting that the wall color be carried on into the other rooms instead of considering other options. There are other ways to approach it, you just need to think outside of the box a bit to do it. For example, our main floor basically forms an L shape with the kitchen and living room at opposite ends of each other and dining room in the middle. We have one continuous wall that goes from the kitchen, to the small breakfast area and into the living room. I don't particularly like the way it looks and plan on installing some 18 inch walls on each side of the entrance from the living room to the dining room to help make it a more defined space. For the time being though, I have a line where the paints change color from yellow to Cream and IMHO it still doesn't look bad. There are many things you could do that are less expensive and would allow you to use different colors in each space. For example, you could install a floor to ceiling wall unit or use a tied back drape. A clever and economically affordable idea my daughter found for their transition is invisible bookshelves. They're going to install them from floor to ceiling and house their vast collection of cook books on it. If you post pictures with views of how the transitions from one room to another look in your space, I bet you'll get several doable solutions to consider and then the options of color for your kitchen will expand greatly. Here is a link that might be useful: Sample of Invisible book shelves.

The best way to find a right color is to compare it... You can get a large paint sample (or get the paint sample and paint it on a large white board) from the paint store like Sherwin Williams or Benjamin Moor then put it on the wall between your cabinets and floor tiles (where your garbage bin is now) to compare it first with an existing materials that you are NOT going to change! If the color makes you happy then you can compare your back splash samples and counter top samples to see which one is going to match better. Agreeable gray is a green-gray so darker shade of it would be match better. If you like darker shade go with these colors and choose one. Benjamin Moore and Sherwin Williams: if you like lighter kitchen cabinets choose these: I think it would be nicer If you have any question let me know.

@gprichards Can you take a picture from further back? Your tile is beautiful and so is your kitchen. My first thought is getting more tile and taking it all the way to the ceiling around your window.

You can always ask the paint store to cut the tint by 25 or 50%. I have done this many times when I felt I had the right shade but it was too dark. The BM website lists Vapor AF-35 as being a lighter shade of Manchester Tan, but it's pretty light.