I think you should change up your style. My fiance keeps telling me I need a complete wardrobe overhaul. I need to find some of my clothes though. My last move was so chaotic I still haven't gotten over it. Hopefully you can gather your wardrobe together in one place and go through it and cull what is no longer working to make room for the new.

Sorry, eld. We were cross posting. I like the advice to only buy what you love, I think I just have to let myself expand my circle of love. I was at a conference in another city last with a collegue and we went shopping one day. I picked up a white cotton collarless shirt and she looked at me and said, "don't you already have 3 just like that?". I love that style and so I keep buying what I love. Not a great way to expand your wardrobe.

If I think of what I bought today, I do love most of it (esp. those bright turquoise slides - yum!), I just usually would have passed them over for the more neutral and practical.

ETA: Idaclaire, I went back to check your username to see if it was really you talking about tattoo sleeves. Yowza! I never would have guessed.

Ida, I swear we are the same person..

I got my first (and only) tattoo at your age, daisy...and I occasionally have a teal streak in my long white hair. Age has given me bravery...

Life is so freaking short. If not now, when? Of course I will recommend a radical hairdo because I think if you do that, you will see yourself in a completely different light...

Agreed complete change is expensive :) So, scarves. Lots of different scarves in vibrant colors. Old Navy is your friend here..

ETA love those shoes you show...I have feet like an elephant and nothing fits me so (naturally) I drool over lovely shoes that I can never wear.

My hair has been purple for 2 years (I'm 51), so I'm going to go with "not too late." My wardrobe drifts over time as the things I like go out of fashion and I have to replace them with something that I can actually find in stores. My boho skirt collection is almost entirely gone (the last surviving skirt is getting pretty threadbare).

Daisy I am 54 and am thinking in reverse. I tend to wear bright colors in shirts and shorts. Yes I live in SW FL where it is warm year round so I wear shorts almost every day. I am thinking it’s time to dial it back and go with more neutral colors. But that said I think I would be doing that less for myself and more for the norms of society.

I think shoes are a great place to start with freshening your wardrobe. You will probably receive lots of positive comments on your footwear!

I think you should wear whatever the heck you want to wear no matter how old you are. If you want a change...go for it! For me however, I've always been and always will be very conservative PLUS I like being comfortable. Wait, I lied some...I wasn't conservative when I was young...but since then I have been. :P

I'm 64 and am always changing up what I wear. I recently changed my hairstyle and when I went to work with the new look I got TONS of compliments. Maybe I get bored easily because I wore scrubs most days of the week, which allowed my weekend wardrobe to be fun and colorful. My staple black and white travel wardrobe will remain the same, but like you are doing, I always add a pop of color with accessories. My female students always complimented me on my clothes.

Feeling comfortable in your skin and projecting self-confidence and a fun-loving attitude will go a long way in your journey to break out of the rut!

Daisy, I'm 66; never in my life has there been such a fun time for mature women (over 50) to shop for clothes, in my humble opinion. Most of the silly 'rules' have been tossed, good riddance!

What's most important is to purchase clothing and styles that are comfortable to wear, are becoming to your body type, and give you confidence.

Women who are 60 and much older look smashing in bright clothing! If ones wardrobe has been neutral or black prior to that, color does amazing things to warm up a pallid complexion and gray or white hair. Go for it!

I've always worn colorful and interesting clothes. My mother was my partner in crime as she made a lot of my clothing in high school, at my request. I still wear clothing like that today and find it so easy to shop these days.

Interesting topic. I think change keeps us young and helps slow down the passage of time. It's what made some years of our lives particularly exciting and memorable, while other periods have been of necessity less exciting. Change it up, I say.

Yes, 53 is too old. 52 was the age limit for changing your style.lol

The older you get the less you care what anyone thinks and will do what the heck you want (if you're lucky)! Or you'll become entrenched in YOUR ways and think it's the only right way...and each year that passes will be a lost opportunity to broaden your horizons.

When I turned 50, I started watching and reading stories with strong, older female characters (many of them were pretty sexy, to boot). I think you are all right about 50-ish not only being an "okay" time to come into your own, but maybe the best time.

Now, if I can just convince my teenage DDs that it is okay for mom to leave the house in something less than drab.

I am pretty sure embarrassing your teenage children is in the job description for parenting.

I know we are "joking" but I found when my DD's were teens they were a good sounding board for me. Oldest helped me out of the "mom" jeans and into more current/ flattering ones. I was also a sounding board for them with my "Mom-approved" advice.

Seriously, if your teen is embarrassed by the way you are dressing, I would take it to heart.

There is a fine line between trendy and current and inappropriate and silly looking for your age category,

So, sorry but no. You can't just wear WHAT you want. You CAN if you don't mind what others think. But, then that would be a whole other thread.

I, for one, do not care what others think regarding my appearance.

Eh, I knew a mom whose teenage daughter insisted that she turn off the radio before the car door opened AND drop her a block away from the bus stop because it was soooo embarrassing that she listened to NPR. I just can’t bring myself to take all teenagers seriously all the time. (Or all eight year olds—my dd pitches a hissy fit every time Dh kisses my cheek in the privacy of our own home because it is so grooossss.).

I am sure daisychain knows whether or not to take her daughters’ advice on clothes seriously.

I have two girls and they have opposite tastes in just about everything, so I don't often please both. All jokes aside, they do pretty well not being embarrassed of their mom. I teach at their school and it gives me great joy to see their faces light up when they see me in the hall - no matter what I'm wearing (altho, I know I can count on them to tell me if I have spinach in my teeth or my tag is sticking out :)

All I can say is yes, but it’s not easy. I’m the same age and have been trying to do the same thing. So I’ve bought more interesting or colorful clothes and shoes, but when I pull them out of the closet, for some reason I’m hesitant to wear them. I always have this “oh, today isn’t the right day” feeling. Not sure what’s holding me back, but I’m saying this only so you’ll start slow and not replace your whole wardrobe all at once! It doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re doing, though.

I have a hair appt. this week, too. :-)

So I’ve bought more interesting or colorful clothes and shoes, but when I pull them out of the closet, for some reason I’m hesitant to wear them. I always have this “oh, today isn’t the right day” feeling.

I get that way with lipstick, too. I haven't done it lately, but I used to buy tubes of fun coloured lipstick, but never, ever wore it. A neutral lip and black cardigan with jeans is extremely comforting.

ETA: are you playing it safe with the hair?

I wonder if you could find a nice stylist at a local store who could help you pull an interesting, out of your comfort zone outfits together? Some people think about clothes as much as we think about interiors, so they have a lot more experience playing with different elements.

Just adding a ditto to what has been said. I think you have a great start with the pieces you have started. Jackets, shoes and a few tops in fun colors to go with your basics will be, well, fun to experiment with a new look.

Also, inexpensive long necklaces with colored medallions or beads to wear with the buttoned up white blouses would be cute. So many options. Your girls may be raiding your closet before you know it!

i also wore very conservative clothing for work for so many years it was hard for me to break out of the solid black, white, gray, navy rut. I still prefer solids except that I jazz it up with pretty tops and jewelry a lot more now. And cute shoes and bags. I’ll be 70 soon.

I'm with you on the lipstick, Daisy. Lately, I've been a little bit fascinated by a bright red lip on an older, obviously confident woman, and wondering if I could pull it off myself. I struggle with feeling I'm not "something" enough to do so (not even sure what that "something" is to be honest), but today I decided to apply a darker plum color lip glaze that I've had in my makeup drawer for awhile, and I feel energized and just a little bit "POW", if you know what I mean. That little bit of zippy color on my face seems to enhance my outfit, which is black skinny pants, black shell, and a bright lime-colored unconstructed jacket. I just feel good about how I look today - and it isn't every day I can say that.

Re playing it safe with the hair -- I'm not. I don't think I ever have. Mine is shoulder length, very blonde, with long, tousled layers. It may even be a little bit "sexed up" for a nearly-56-year-old woman, and I'm cool with that. I'd add some funkier colors if I could get away with it at work.

My mother is 79 and still trying to find the perfect stylist who will give her what she wants, which is a short, fun and funky do. Although she emanates a very young vibe, the stylists she's seen thus far all seem to want to give her a very matronly style. Her most recent stylist told her, "Well, I try to err on the side of conservatism." Mom said, "I thought you knew me better than that by now. Give it more sass!"

Idaclaire, what's the shade of purple lipstick?

gsciencechick - it's Revlon ColorStay Mineral Lipglaze in Forever Raisin.

pennydesign - what a lovely memory for both you and your mom! That you helped her to feel SEEN again is a beautiful gift. So sweet. :-)

I just want to look like Susan Sarandon when I’m 70. Is that too much to ask?

I’m switching salons and hoping the new stylist gives me a cut with a little more pizzazz. My hair is pretty boring right now.

Very timely thread. Thinking that the idea of adding pizazz to your current look without a total change may be the way to go. Hoping to learn from advice here. My look is very classical and at social events people never seem to remember me, I know it is a combination of the standard exterior and being introverted. Plus I am just fairly average looking. As far as my appearance I tried buying clothing that was louder and out of my comfort zone a few years back wanting to be less forgettable, but I just felt so off wearing the new clothes that after a few wears they sat in my closet. Here I am in my 50’s working on wardrobe and doing a better job at socializing, you think this would be a thing that you improve as you age but I was much better at this whole thing in my twenties.

One more thought: I think an easy way to add flair without even buying new clothes is adding interesting jewelry. My clothes are pretty boring most of the time, but I have a lot of funky jewelry and I think that makes me seem a little less boring! There are lots of jewelry options that are affordable and therefore easy to experiment with. Maybe try a pair of medium-sized hoop earrings if you usually wear studs. Or a larger pendant necklace, or a stack of 3 beaded bracelets.

Or a red or pink purse instead of your standard black handbag.

For me, the above is easier to stomach than suddenly wearing a wild floral dress or a dramatic new hair color.

Ida, I have the same complaint as your mother does. No matter what I ask for, I feel like stylists want to give me a "mom haircut". My hair is short, and I don't want anything too crazy and spiky and shaved, but I do want something with a little bit of spunk!

Seems like by the time we pass 50, we know what we feel good in and what we don't, right? My criteria is comfort, both physical and emotional, so when I choose what to wear, I want to like the way I look in it, and like the way I feel too. The main thing I try to avoid are outfits that I feel awkwardly self-conscious in.

FWIW

"Seems like by the time we pass 50, we know what we feel good in and what we don't, right?"

Sort of yes. But some of us (me included) have tended not to go outside the comfort zone we have had for decades. I guess that's okay but it's not always what we really want. Example: I bought a top that I thought was nice and different (and I would have said then that I really liked it) for an event last year . When it came time to dress for the event I couldn't wear it. Why? Because it was outside the comfort zone I've had all these years. But it's a nice top and perfect for the event. I still haven't worn it. The event comes up again in a few weeks. I am going to wear it this year. Because I do want to go beyond the wardrobe that everyone I know identifies as "me". I'd like to be a bit more like that top.

When I want to go outside of my comfort zone I kind of cheat. I take pictures of myself at every angle and then I look at every single photograph and tell myself that I'm not going to judge. I'm not going to judge how I look from the front or behind or sideways as long as it's presentable ie everything's covered that I like to be covered and I'm still attracted to the pattern colour cut Etc. It might sound weird but your eye has to get used to what it's seeing in a mirror or in a picture two more easily accept it

Most of the time it works because I repeat the process on the day of by looking at myself at every angle and mentally accepting the way I look but don't bother taking pictures. I try to choose things very carefully so I'm not uncomfortable with the combination of things I'm wearing together as well. Sometimes I feel like I dress a little too young but most of the time I'm okay with it.

Funny thing is, one of my dressing problems has always been liking to dress a bit older than my age and now that I am older I definitely have to cut that out.

I find myself looking longingly at certain billowy, funky items of clothing at this point in my life and the refrain, "And then there's Maude ..." plays in my head. I really don't wanna go there.

LOL. My typical question is “it is too Mrs. Roper?”

LOL @ Sueb20!!!

Get a piercing!! Just kidding - sort of. I’m in the same boat Daisy, and SueB gave the suggestions I would give too. I like to change things up by wearing shoes, jewelry and purses that I find comfortable, interesting and fun. I got my hair cut to chin length and tuck it behind my ears and use some product to make it look a little spiky on the ends. I recently I started wearing a second earring (diamond stud) in the piercing I got in my twenties. I don’t think I’ve worn it in 20 years. I was at dinner with my 22-yo DS when he stopped mid sentence to ask when I got so bada$$! I admit to feeling a little sassy.

I think (referring to panko and her bad ass self!) that we don't want to be invisible, which is often the case for women of a certain age. We're not viewed as vital or interesting, in my opinion. Clothing is not marketed to us in a way that makes me want to buy it. When was the last time you felt sexy in a new bra and panties? Or jeans that make your ass look fabulous? And it's stupid, really, because now, at last, most of us have the money to spend on US.

Believe me when I say that I'm the person that hates attention of any kind. But I don't want disappear, not from society and not from myself. I don't judge people who are very conservative in their appearance and if anyone judges me, that's their problem, not mine.

So I will also find my diamond earring and wiggle it in my third ear hole. And I will wear red today.

Appearances can be incredibly deceiving. I know folks who appear very conservative - at least as far as one can tell at first glance - but beneath a jacket or a hairstyle or even a well-heeled shoe, there's a little something of their very own that's hidden away ... some form of body modification that is generally thought of as identifying one with a more alternative lifestyle. And if that isn't enough of an anomaly, some of them are quite conservative in most aspects of their lives. You used to be better able to "read" a person based upon their outward appearance, but that is simply not the case anymore, now that so many different means of expression have settled firmly into the mainstream. I like it. It's freeing.

I'm not sure I understand the concept of becoming invisible as we age. I hear about it a lot and it terrifies me. However, I think having a commanding presence is an inside job, not an exterior one affected by clothing or styles that try to get attention or recapture youth. My mother and grandmother never complained for a want of attention as they aged. Why would I want to be seen by people whose values are so different from mine if all they value is a woman who looks like she's 20? I wouldn't have liked that sort of person when I was 20.

The only time I have ever felt invisible was when I lived in DuPont Circle in the 90s- and to be honest, I didn't notice the problem while we were living there, but later, when we moved and I noticed men looking at me again. In DuPont my husband did get a lot of attention though ;-)

For me the query in this thread is about having more fun with clothes, just like when we were teens and discovered shopping. I am not sure the point was to gain attention, but to look in the mirror and be pleased with what we saw.

It's not so much about what we wear...But we do see people before speaking with them. Personally, I'm much more likely to approach someone who looks like they're following their own path, than I am someone who blends in.

Being "seen" has nothing to do with sexuality. It's a problem that has to do with age. If you're not experiencing it, good for you. I hope you never do. After working with the elderly population, I see it all the time.

I think threads sometimes take interesting twists and turns and I enjoy seeing everyone's take on topics that are both superficial and thought-provoking.

With elderly people what I see is infantilization. Heaven help the first person who treats me like a child when I reach whatever age. (I know really OT)

Rita, that's a spot-on observation---I know I'm going OT here, but I need to rant a bit.

My parents are in their 80's and for the past few years they absolutely act like children. I love them, but I hate this behavior they've adopted. And they will freely admit to liking being "taken care of"...And they're enabled Every. Single. Freaking. Day.

Grrr....Is it too early for a drink?

I think a slow progression might be more comfortable. I'm in such a need of a makeover :-)

Daisy.....those adorable shoes absolutely will not work with a black cardigan! ;-)

I got a haircut with a new stylist/salon yesterday. When I explained that I felt like I had a Mom Haircut, she said she has a friend from Ireland who says “don’t give me a ‘mumsy ‘do’”...love that. Anyway, I loved her attitude and she had great suggestions (and gave me a great cut). Meanwhile, the gray haired guy in the next chair, who was probably 70, was getting purple highlights! He looked awesome.

Picture, please!

Of your haircut not the guys.

I want to see your haircut too Sue!

Well, I feel weird about posting selfies so here you can see the hair but not the face! This is after spending the day sweating in the Tucson heat and laying down on the bed for a bit without any “fixing” of my hair.

Visiting AZ, I notice a lot more short haircuts on women than I do at home. Obviously a good idea when it’s a thousand degrees all summer.

Nice! Even nicer that it can tolerate extreme weather and still look good. Win/win.

I like the hair style. Thanks for letting us see it. No need to share more than you want to.

That is adorable! Definitely not a mom haircut.