The vestibule seemed to be jumping off the screen so I had to draw it. I'm glad it worked out. When I look at a design I automatically reach for a pen and tracing paper. People make fun of the fact that I always have a half dozen different colored felt tipped pens in my pocket and don't know how they got there. My former boss would hold his hand out palm up and I would put a pen in it. I recently left my pocket scale at a client's home and have been so miserable I ordered a half dozen of them. Sometimes it helps to draw the plan by hand with furniture, people, feature highlights and circulation arrows. Plan weaknesses will quickly become evident and solutions will sometimes seem to jump out at you when you are free of hard straight lines, dimensions and the burden of keeping what has already been drawn. It also helps to turn the sheet around and imagine walking through spaces from another direction. It doesn't have to be pretty; it's only for you. Few of these sketches are kept more than an hour and often I don't look at them when drawing the final on the computer; it's just an exercise. IMO unless you're using up a lot of tracing paper you're limited to reorganizing other people's ideas and those ideas can easily get out of proportion and not fit together as well as they originally did.

"...If she had her way there'd just be a single door with no windows or sidelights--just 16' of wall minus the door width..." I could be wrong, but it sounds like the issue needs to be resolved internally with spouses...with a 16-foot wide opening which is 2-stories tall...that's some major space...you got to this point without agreement on how to handle it? There are many design solutions for letting natural light into such a space, but preserving privacy for the homeowners, but they need to be explored with someone who has done this sort of thing before successfully. Are you working with any design professionals?

Go custom for the perfect door and though more expensive than a standard purchase, it can be built to match your vision and standards. A capable millwork shop can turn it into reality. Just as an example to indicate what is possible and although not everyones cup of tea, we designed our own massive 123”W x 98”H door; I designed/created and provided all detailed drawings with dimensions. A glass vendor built the two sealed unit sidelites, again to my design specs with frosted glass on inside and out hence totally opaque but lets light in. Although my builder helped lift and put the massive door in place, with only an 1/8” to spare on each side, I did the final installation and alignment. Results are nothing short of spectacular. Pics below. Exterior Railing is only temporary and the plastic wrap on the inside is to prevent anyone opening the door even though it has an electronic lock.

Here is an idea for you. Minimal framing and it would open up the kitchen space: 1. tear out the pantry and the internal walls of the powder room and the powder room sink. 2. Frame in a pocket door and solid wall for the powder room, reorienting the door. 3. change up the sink in the powder room for a very minimal thin sink hung on the wall across from the toilet and change the toilet to a round bowl that takes up less space. 4. Frame in a new wide archway to the dining room that is next to the stairwell 5. eliminate the existing door to the dining room 6. counters along the exterior wall with sink under window and cooktop on exterior wall for venting 7. countertop along dining room wall anchored by a double oven 8. refrigerator and pantry along opposite wall from sink - can make pantry depth of standard depth fridge to save on appliance cost - pantry can be doors with shelves all around or cupboards with pull outs. 9. island with 42" space to sink area and aligned with dining room opening 10. not to worry about work triangle with fridge because island becomes prep space see sketch: