As does DH (resemble). In fact, he seems to have lost the ability to even make a sandwich for himself after only 1-3/4 years marriage. What??!!

dcarch, you are one man I'd let cook in my kitchen any time, sloppy or neat! Well, so long as I could also eat what you created!

Pft, I cook wherever I darn well please sometimes on the sidewalk with my little white gas stove! I think some folks gravitate to one genre of cooking or another, and I don't think gender has anything to do with it. Experience probably does though. My fiance loves to grill so I let him. I would love to grill but I hate cleaning it. He's a better cook than me although I have my specialties that he prefers I make.

I tried to find my comment, but couldn't. It is lost somewhere in the depths of Houzz. The complete quote was close to this: "I have always done all the cooking indoors and out. I never got the memo that women cook inside and men cook outdoors. LOL."

I have what I consider a nice set of stuff, but I don't chase the newest and best. I also don't need or want the biggest, so I can cook for several hundred people at a time.

The big BQ cookoff here is mostly male teams and as Agmss noted, the online forums seem to be mostly male, including the "Cooking Outdoors" on here.

ETA: The cooking outdoors on here seems to be about 50/50 going by the user names. I'm impressed. The web sites for the various grills and smokers are not.

Sherry:"I never got the memo that women cook inside and men cook outdoors." Well, somewhere along the line I got that memo, but I ended up crossing it out ; )

I doubt if I could give up control even if hubby wanted to cook. (He doesn't.)

Sherry, I really thing that the grill/'cue/smoker websites are dominated by men for cultural reasons unrelated to cooking. This forum is heavily female, but we don't feel threatened when new men join in. I do think there is a bias here towards engaging with people who use complete sentences (or at least punctuation) and a kind manner. Not much chest thumping here. Actually, that's something I like about a lot of the hipsters, too. They tend to be less aggressive (both genders).

I enjoy the camaraderie here and have been getting a kick out of the 10-year-old threads as well ...

Dave

I do think there is a bias here towards engaging with people who use complete sentences (or at least punctuation) and a kind manner.

"Let's eat Grandma! Let's eat, Grandma! Punctuation Saves Lives!"

I agree Pillog.

joint project.. she held the plate..

^^ ha ha ha ha!!! Wish I could get DH to hold the plate. He won't even hold the screen door!

Oh my goodness 2Many, I just gagged on my wine!

sherri, she had to put down her wine glass.... so I heard all about it ...

bragu, I sympathize. I have long since learned how to juggle my wine glass and the 2-3 plates of grilled items as I walk up the 2 steps simultaneously opening the screen porch door, and make extra trips back out to bring in the tongs, brush, and whatever else needs washing while DH sits relaxing on the back porch watching my balancing act... I must say, DH does do the dishes... usually. Ha!

We put in a sliding door so I could push with the hip while balancing every thing else in two hands. (One hand is for the beer or wine.)

I found that my cleavage works well for holding my beer, keeps my hands free for the plates. It's a bit more tricky with a wine glass. LOL

Fanny works well to open and close the sliding door.

2Many! You can solve most of this with $8. That will get you a gray or white bus tub for clean and a black bus tub for dirty. Load it up with everything that needs to go outside, then call out, "Honey? Will you carry this for me, please?" Never pick it up yourself. Ever. Tell him you couldn't carry it along with everything else. Then heap praise and kisses on him when he carries it to the place it needs to go. That will train him that it's his job to carry the stuff. With the door, occupy your hands. Ask him to open the door. Tell him you can't get through if he doesn't open it for you. Cajole him into opening the door. Hand him one of the things you're carrying. When you've set down the rest, heap thanks and kisses on him for helping you. Or neck rubs if he prefers that to kisses. And, for heaven's sake, watch If A Man Answers.

In the interest of fair play, hubby does watch at the lake, (two steps up and regular camper door to open), and jumps to open the door and take whatever from me so I can haul myself up the steps!

Cleavage for holding a beer? I could never do that..... way to cold!!

Sherri, try a neoprene cozy. :)

moosemac, (LMAO!) one must be reasonably endowed to hold anything between one's cleavage. I find myself somewhat lacking in that area ; )

plllog, (thumping my head!), now why hadn't I thought of that??? I use a tub to carry clean dishes back to the kitchen from the utility room sink (during remodel)... and I've got an extra tub just sitting around doing nothing! I agree with combination of cajoling, kisses, and high praise - works quite well : ) I'm going to do that next time I grill!!! Genius idea using bus tubs!

sherri1058 - That's why I use a zip on Koosie for my beer!

2ManyDiversions - LOL yes but I believe even the smallest bra will hold a beer. You just need two small mounds to nestle the beer between. On a side note, I will admit I have "lost" my cell phone in the cleavage of my bathing suit and gone swimming with my phone. Now I make sure to check before diving in. :-)

My husband never cooked, indoors or out. I only cook indoors. Don't have a grill.

Sue

It's a privilege to have above average cleavage that can hold your beverage.

dcarch

I once tried to grill a pizza outdoors but that is the one and only time I ever tried anything outdoors and it was not a good experience. The smoky grill taste ruined the pizza imo although DH liked it. My DH is versatile and cooks indoors and outdoors.

What started this, was my comment on another post, that I didn't get the memo, that women cooked indoors and men cooked outdoors. (Who knows where that post is!) I cook indoors, outdoors, on the grill, in the smoker, in the microwave, ect.

I thought everyone had multiple things cooking at the same time when they cook. I sometimes cook one-dish meals, but not usually, except for breakfast. However, if I cook an omelet, I make toast to go with it, and I've learned to put the plates on top of the toaster oven before making the toast, and this heats the plates up.

I do, Lars, but DH generally does simpler meals such as spaghetti etc because usually he’s on his own and cooking for himself after working 10-12 hours. Then on weekends I do the cooking.

Since he’s cooking on weekends as well ATM he feels he has to do something more like what I would produce so that’s where the stress comes in. I tell him if he’s doing the cooking I won’t complain about anything he chooses to make. He was sooo tired on Friday night and Sunday night. Friday night I said, I’ll be happy with canned tomato soup and a grilled ham and cheese sandwich if that’s what you want to do, and Sunday we had some sausages to cook so I said just fry up the sausages and he mushrooms we have and we can have them wrapped in a slice of buttered bread like they do at the Bunnings sausage sizzle (I think you can Google that, it’s reasonably famous :-) ) and it was all fine.

Oh, geez, Colleen, I hope your back feels better soon. I know your DH is a sweetheart and will cook, but I can't imagine you not being able to get around, do the cooking and take care of the kitties, you must be going crazy!

Annie

I am! I’m also worried about shopping for Christmas cookie ingredients and baking them as I’d really hate to not do it. Also cooking Christmas dinner. DH is being really good about this (we had to cancel a long looked forward to trip to Singapore two days before departure :-(. ) and offered to take me out to Christmas dinner, but here that’s like $100-150 minimum per person and no leftovers! DH says “don’t worry about it” but I do...

The doctor has prescribed a new drug which seems to be helping with the sciatica so I’m hoping that once I get the dosage right I’ll be good to go :-)

colleenoz, I feel so bad for you! I mean your back, not your DH - he sounds fantastic to cook for you! I'm very sorry to hear about your trip to Singapore : ( Hoping the new meds help, but please don't try to exert when you shouldn't. Please. We didn't decorate or cook much for the holidays last year, and again won't this year... life just happens! We still will enjoy it though and there's always another year : )

2many is right, colleen, don't overdo it, or you could have a much longer recovery and that would really make you crazy.

Besides, Christmas could be nice, just sitting home with your hubs, with a cat on your lap and some Christmas music.

Cookies, though, that's an issue. Can you pay a nice teenager to come and make the dough, with you supervising? Then just put it in the freezer, all portioned out, and bake it as needed? I like to have cookie dough in the freezer anyway, makes for a nice quick snack if I have unexpected company. And no grocery delivery, I'm assuming? Here I could, in a pinch, get my groceries ordered on line and delivered. At the very least I can order ahead of time and just go to the store, park in the designated spot and they bring the groceries out at the allotted time. That way you could at least get the ingredients and go from there.

Hugs to you, I hope you recover quickly, and before the holiday too!

Annie

Sadly, no grocery delivery, and in any case I get most of my ingredients from a special place in the city an hour and a half away, where it’s much cheaper (like between a quarter of the supermarket price and half the supermarket price depending on the product) to buy the nuts, dried fruit and glacé fruit in bulk than it is to buy at the local supermarket. Since I usually spend over $250, you can appreciate why I shop there.

We also don’t have an order ahead and they bring it to the car service either.

Freezing the cookie dough might work for some of the cookies but not others, but I can’t think of anyone I could get to come in and make it. Oh well.

It’s done wonders for my knitting, though- I started my first sweater for myself (have made many for others but not me) which I bought the yarn for last year. I thought it would take me months to make, but now I’m working on the neck, which is the last part. :-)

1. Number five: Do you live in the frozen north and are you a wuss? (Just jokingly making fun of myself!!)

^^ They must be running giggle juice through our taps today because I've been laughing out loud at several posts! I pink, I assume you refer to Question 1?!! Ha ha! I live in the South East, and had sooo many plans to cold smoke this winter... it's a balmy 29 F today and I'd just rather not! Color me a wuss today also : ) Also, (she says for the billionth time) I've no kitchen with the remodel, so I honestly can't do any cold smoking this winter : (

My original typed response had the number five in front of it, and now when I go to edit I see a number one in the text box and not on the posted screen. Ah the elusive quest for a seamless interface!

I did it all in my first marriage. At the start of the second Michael attempted to do the outdoor (he can with a lot of guidance) but struggled to light the grill either propane or charcoal . . that quickly slide into my doing it all again. BUT, when company is over and I prep everything; he will sit on the grill and tend it and have a beer with the guys. I buzz by and fuss with the cooking thermometer to check internal temp and he cracks a joke about it but it is our code and he actually LIKES it checked. But, yeah I basically do it all again.

Since this has been revived -

I've moved up from only having a grill to also having a pellet smoker and a 4' griddle outside. I am still the only one that uses them.

I actually just bought the pellet smoker (previously had a vertical one) at a yearly warehouse sale of a larger company. It is one of the few shopping experiences I have where the men outnumber the women. When my husband saw the new pellet smoker he said "you bought another smoker?". Shows what he knows :)

aziline's comment about there being more men than women remnded me of the time, many many years ago in Wisconsin, that I tried to buy a grill. I was told to return with my husband.

oh man Kate! I wouldn't want to go back to that store.

Is Carl a bot, do you think?

Could be, Carol. The new AI stuff makes it hard to tell. There's no link, though.

Gobsmacked by Kate's experience. I rememner hearing that the sewing machine vendors at the Fair wanted the ladies to bring their husbands, but that was because they could change them from, ”You don't need to waste money on a new sewing machine,” to must have the flashy new computerized kilobucks gizmos when the wife just wanted an overcast stitch and a symmetrical buttonholer. :)

No they are not, But, you have no posts, no idea books, and this is your only comment on a very old post. We do have a problem with bots and scammers posting links with malware on them. You post does not even relate to the thread.

@Carl Arnold, welcome to the cooking forum! And if you really are a person trying to join in, and not trying to drive traffic to some outside website (why I mentioned no link, but sometimes there's a post that's sort of on topic, and the link comes later), you really are very welcome. As Sherry said, we have problems with bots. Your post was overwritten—very beautifully—for this kind of message board. Your follow up was more normal in tone, but unfortunately the new AI is capable of it all. That said, while we do run to older females in traditional families, we try not to exclude our younger, male, non-binary, non-traditional, unique and diverse posters, and it's right to call us out when we fail in that. Your point about cooking roles being more dependent on individual skills than gender is on topic, and an important POV, no matter how many of us have experienced the calcified classic gender roles in the title of the post.

I bought a little table top barbecue last year, and have a littler freestanding one that's cute, but harder to use, and generally too small. I'm not really into outdoor cooking, and don't live in a climate where it's necessary. My little barbecues make my menfolk snicker. They have big and bigger gas grills to cook on...but really only for outdoor parties. I don't get the point (it not being an outdoor kitchen for all cooking in too hot and humid for indoors weather). I think barbecues should burn charcoal and aromatic wood chips to be worth the bother. I use a chimney starter. Barbecues are bad for the air quality, however, so mine are minimally used. The ”outdoors” cooking for us is not a gender thing determined by cultural norms, just a combination of attitudes and druthers that fall that way, informed by weather and circumstance.

Carl, if you are real come back and make a comment. I wish I could find the original post, but the gist was, that at least around here cooking outdoors in a male sport mostly. I was really joking that I felt cheated, since if my husband cooked outdoors, I wouldn't have to cook 24/7/365.

Sherry

4 years agolast modified: 4 years ago

Yes, Yes, NA, and no. I do all the cooking, indoor and out. I never got the memo that I shouldn't like outdoor cooking! Dirty smokers and all. My Dad did all the cooking in and out. Mom would burn water.

Off Topic, but to your comment, plllog, that was only one of the male-oriented comments made to me over the years.... and by far the least offensive. We've lived many places and many were/are still very "old fashioned" and paternalistic.

However, at my age, I'm delighted when a young man calls me "hon" at checkout. It's just coloquial and not meant to be superior.

Off topic. I had decided in the 90's I wanted a nice music system. I went to Best Buy and looked at theirsl They showed me what was available. I then went to Circuit City, which went bankrupt by the way.. The salesman just waved me over to the area and concentrated on the twenty something male. I spent a few minutes and went back to Best Buy and spent $1500, which was a very large amount at that time.

I always felt that is why Circuit city went out of business, if that was their attitude.

I was getting a new vehicle in 2015 and went to Jeep, which I wanted, and Honda. Both places ignored me and focused on my husband. Bless him, he said, "Don't talk to me, it is her purchase. I am just along for the ride."

Good salesmen ”qualify” buyers. Usually, with 2-3 quick questions they can determine who the lookiloos are, who the information seekers are, who the buyers who need to be sold are, and who the ready to buy are, plus what they really want and how much they want to pay, even how much they can be upsold. Irrespective of age and gender, which are poor indicators at best. The problem is, a lot of places just put untrained warm bodies out there. I don't allow the warm body du jour, who only approaches because it's his ”up”, to foist prejudices on me. I look for someone who will meet my eye, answer my questions, and treat me with respect. Even the best salesmen can't tell by clothes or demeanor, who's fronting and who is the boss in gardening clothes looking to outfit a whole building. They have to engage, or miss a lot of big commissions, and waste a lot of time on dead leads.

Boy are you right, sharrie & plllog!

Last Fall a teenager took out my old Honda when visiting in LA. After visiting and driving almost every car out there I realized what you are talking about. The last place DD & I went we were totally ignored by all salemen - we didn't meet the profile for the car.... Asian. We were leaving when we were stopped by the elder saleman who knew better. Guess who got the sale? ( BTW: It was the only car I even liked. )

It's gone now. Never saw a spammer so offended on being called out!