Nitida is not shooting yet here. Last year it was putting up tons of shoots in May. I hope it doesn't flower. A couple thin little shoots on the murielae. This is a 3-4 year old seedling-started plant that has hardly topped 2' so far. It's the slowest 'boo I've ever planted. On the other hand, a tissue culture F. rufa I planted weeks ago is already shooting and taking off. A three-year-old decora got top killed over the winter and put up two skinny shoots. One drooped over and snapped. Bah. I have another planting that spent two winters in a tub sunk in the ground, and it is shooting like gangbusters.

As a person who grew up in Stonington, CT, if you choose one of the more popular tourist spots as your home, plan on it being overrun with tourists from May to September. It's kind of depressing. You wait all winter for the nice weather, and then when it comes, you can't get around easily. Beach traffic is another thing. If you end up in RI, plan on knowing alternate routes to places in the summer. Sounds like you're looking for more of the inland rustic places, so that's probably not a factor for you. As a gardener, I don't know if you'd want to factor zone into your choice. I currently live in Milford, CT. I'm near the sound and am usually putting in my vegetables and tending to my garden a good 3 weeks before some of the folks in the inland cooler areas. As far as CT towns go, I've lived in the following ones. Stonington - beautiful town, big time New England charm, salaries do not keep up with home prices, about a 15 minute drive to get to shopping, and it's crowed with tourists in the summer Bethel - (up by Brookfield/Danbury area) Very nice rural town, plenty of shopping just around the corner, but you're pretty much in NY. The stores carry Yankees and Giants stuff. Stamford - If you like traffic, lots of ordinances, and a hectic lifestyle, this is the town for you. Plainfield - Deliverance country. Very quiet and a lot of house and land for your buck, but you're far from everything. They don't call it the quiet corner for nothing. I like the Litchfield hills area for visiting, but again there's not enough shopping around there for me. It's beautiful in the fall and close to plenty of good skiing, but I consider it a visit place rather than a live there place. I'm actually liking Milford despite it being a little south of the Williams/Dimagio line. The town is zoned in a way that most the residential areas are separate from the shopping areas. I'm on a nice quiet street, but only 5 minutes from 2 major highways and all the shopping I could ask for. The people are nice, but again it's affluent folks mixed in with blue collar folks who park their cars on their front lawns. It's also on the sound and has very nice beaches. It may eventually turn into a Fairfield county suitcase type of town, but so far it's retaining a New England feel. I went to college in NH. It was just way too slow for me. There was nothing but deer and snow where I was. I haven't spent much time in VT or ME. I've always liked Massachusetts, but some of the towns have since lost their industry and many are shells of their former selves. The mill towns in particular are still fighting to stay afloat. I like the area near Foxborogh. There are a lot of very nice towns around their that have retained their New England charm, but still have a large city not too far away for jobs. By the way, Mets fans are perfectly welcome We've got no problems with them.

Starting now is fine but I don't like late season plastering. The initial cure is about 4 weeks but it does continue to cure for several months after. As plaster cures, the pH of the water rises. Left alone and unchecked in the off season, the calcium in solution tends to drop out and form calcium scale stains. Waiting until Spring to plaster will afford the plaster more time to cure when the pool is open and being tested regularly. That will reduce any opportunities for scale formation significantly. The down side is the back yard will be a quagmire for a while and could present some safety issues that will need to be addressed. If an animal such as a deer, raccoon, skunk, etc... finds it's way in the shell in the Winter, guess who gets to help it out? Scott

"This isn't to be vindictive.... it's to MAKE her help with her son." If it's not to be vindictive, then let it go... and I'm not talking about the review. If there's grounds to modify, by all means get an order for the correct amount and let it accumulate, just don't count on it. I mean for you to let the resentment go. The resentment you have for the shoe being on the other foot now and she isn't doing what she demanded when it was on her foot. (I recall SD's BM demanding DH write her a check the day she got the order from the court ~at the end of the month~ but the order was effective the first of that month, so it was due but he didn't know how much to pay her until the order was made. She told him he was in arrears & basically tried to make him feel like a deadbeat. A month later, she had moved away & left her kid with us... and getting her to pay any support has been like pulling teeth. First she told him she can't pay because she isn't working and we are. We have more money than she does. Then, she had another baby & told DH that she can't pay because she has another mouth to feed. I feel sorry for ALL her kids because she doesn't have kids to love & cherish, she feels no obligation to support them, she has them to hang on to the guy she's with... and this is the third time she's done it) You should be proud of your husband and yourself for being the kind of parents your kids deserve. She is not. That's on her. She can't BUY their love... she can try to and if their love can be bought, that is a shame. In 10 years, the kids are not going to love one over the other because they bought them things, but they will grow into adults that will hopefully know the difference between who was responsible and saccrificed for them and who didn't. And if they don't figure it out, you can't control that either. I am finding out the hard way that some kids will chase after the lousy parent, trying to get them to love them & be the parent they want them to be... and it hurts because I was the responsible parent that would lay down my life for my kids. Sometimes no matter how much you do for them, they NEED to feel loved by their other parent and they will seek it out. If getting a laptop from mom makes them feel mom cares about them, then that is good for them. It is not good for you or your husband and that sucks but telling them how much you do and how little their mom does is not going to make them dislike her and appreciate what you do... it will actually have the opposite effect. They will try harder to get mom to care. They may also resent the person that tells them she doesn't care enough to do what she should. In the end, chances are the kids will become parents someday and should, at that point, realize that they would not let their kids go without or they would never do what their mom did... and they will see it for what it is. and you can't get rid of her without being rid of him. She will be the grandmother to his children, she will be at graduations, weddings, babies births, birthdays, funerals, etc. She will be a part of his life and as such, will never be gone completely from yours. My parents have been divorced 25+ years, kids are all in the 40's and still they now see each other when grandkids get married, great grandkids are born, etc. (Of course you won't have to deal with her demands... but then again, kids will have to choose what to do during the holidays & it really never goes away) Anyways, all I can share is my experiences because I remember a time when I felt just like you do. Then my kids grew up and I realize now that my son's father did not crawl under a rock when my son turned 18. When I had to get guardianship of DGS, I had to notify him and he even demanded visitation with DGS. I told him to come to the hearing if he wants the court to consider giving him visitation. He couldn't come to the hearing because he has no car... and I live 3 hours away from him. Um, how did he intend to have visitation? He probably wanted me to provide the transportation.... haha. And my son's father never paid his child support. My son is going to be 25 in a week. DCSS is taking his father to court at the end of this month to make him seek work... it's laughable. He will never pay & my son knows what a POS his dad is... he saw his dad beating on his SM, never support him or his brother, buying him new video games to "buy" his love but then selling them when they needed money... and yet, my son is currently staying with that side of the family because I told him that when he came back from the Army, he needs to get a job & an apartment near me so he can spend time with his son & take over being the parent. My son decided it was easier to live there where nothing is expected of him... he also still gets paid by the military for the next couple of months (he got out early because he accumulated leave so he is actually considered on leave right now) so he has $$$... they let him stay as long as he has $$$ but when he runs out of money, he's gotta go. He got $20k from an accident settlement a few years ago, after he turned 18. He went to see his dad & ended up blowing all his money in less than a month... took his cousins to Vegas & got to be the big shot. When he ran out of money, they had no room for him anymore. That is what they are all about and he still vies for the attention from them... wanting them to actually care about him. It kills me to see him treated like that but there is nothing I can do... except do all I can to protect my DGS2 from being sucked into that too. I guarantee that in 10 years, the things that eat away at you today will be insignificant. All I can suggest is that you and your DH continue to be the parents you need to be and be proud of what you do... it's all you CAN do.